A Navy SEAL's Surprise Baby (9 page)

“Uh-oh...” Natalie drew a chair out from the kitchen table.

“What’s wrong?” Pandora redirected Quinn, who had whined when he’d gotten himself stuck in a corner.

“You’re sounding awfully domestic. I’ve been at this job for a long time, and I’m pretty sure this is the cleanest house I’ve ever seen.” She nibbled her bread.

“And? What’s your point?” With Quinn once again happily touring the kitchen, Pandora joined her at the table.

“I don’t want to see you hurt. I’m afraid you’re falling for Calder and his son. This is a job—not your life. You have Julia to consider.”

Natalie’s words hit Pandora like a slap. “That’s a horrible thing to say. More than anyone, I know my place in this house. And I sure as—” she stopped short of cursing “—I know my first and
only
priority is my daughter.”

“I didn’t mean to sound cruel.” When Natalie covered her hand, Pandora jerked away.

“You might not have meant to, but you did.” Moving away from the table, Pandora needed to hold Quinn—to remind herself he was the reason she worked so hard to make this house a home.

Really?
Then why had Calder’s approval come to mean so much? Why did something as simple as his enjoyment of her meat loaf fill her with a quiet contentment she’d never known?

“I’m sorry.” Though her friend’s tone was sincere, Pandora couldn’t get past her hurt feelings—only not because of what Natalie had said, but because she knew her friend was right but didn’t want to admit it. Though Julia was her top priority, she could no longer deny Quinn and his dad had taken a close second.

“It’s okay.” Rejoining Natalie, she rested her elbows on the table, covering her face with her hands. “Sometimes it’s scary how well you know me. I do like Calder—a lot. But I swear to you nothing inappropriate has happened.”

“I didn’t think for a minute it had, but you know what the funny thing is?” She smiled. “I almost wish it would. Calder’s a good guy. He seems shaky about the whole instant-fatherhood situation he finds himself in, but who wouldn’t?”

“Bite your tongue. You’re right, though. I guess I have been trying to make this place cozier than I should, but Nat, considering where I’ve been, is that so wrong? Jail was...” Refusing to cry, she shook her head. “Jail was a nightmare. The halfway house not much better. Every day here is a dream. Calder is...” How did she begin describing the unexpected role he now played in her life? “Well, Calder’s fast becoming my friend. Aside from you, I haven’t had many.”

“That makes me sad.”

“Up until now, I haven’t deserved any.” But in the almost two months she’d cared for Quinn, she felt transformed. Granted, her current role had come about through plenty of hard work, but she had done it. And now her life was better for it. “But that’s changing. I’ve had a few good talks with a nice neighbor, and in a couple weeks I’ll meet Calder’s mom and stepdad.”

Natalie helped herself to more bread. “They coming for a visit?”

“We’re meeting them at a North Carolina resort.”

“As in the three of you are going on vacation?”

Pandora couldn’t help but smile. “I guess you could call it that—only I’ll still be working.”

“Of course.” Natalie’s exaggerated nod only made her smile more suspect.

Eyebrows raised, Pandora asked, “You think I won’t?”

“Oh—I have no doubt you’ll continue doing a great job with Quinn, but I’m more intrigued by all that alone time you’ll have with his dad.”

Pandora frowned. “You do realize that as my boss, you’re not supposed to encourage the fraternization you keep hinting you’d like to see?”

“Sadly, yes. Which is why I’ll now have to walk off the half loaf of your sinfully yummy bread I’ve eaten to cover my guilt.”

Guilt?
Natalie had no clue of the true meaning.

Pandora feared the upcoming trip would test her mightily in regard to keeping her relationship with Calder strictly professional.

More and more, the man and his adorable son felt like her new drugs. For a former addict—not a good thing.

Chapter Nine

Monday afternoon, Calder got word his team would ship out that night for Somalia.
Yay.
He had a couple hours off until returning to base, and in the past, before he’d known about Quinn, he’d be psyched about any new op. But his current feelings were more in the realm of resigned. Hopefully it’d be an in-and-out mission. Surgically clean.

It sounded selfish, but he especially wanted to be home before the North Carolina trip.

The more time he spent with Pandora, the more curious he grew. Working together in the yard, he’d sensed she may have been on the verge of opening up. He’d hoped to see even more progress tonight. Which made no sense. He had nothing to offer her in the way of any serious relationship, so why attempt making more out of their working friendship than there was?

“Hi, there!” The smile Pandora greeted him with as he climbed off his bike and removed his helmet turned his supposedly tough SEAL shell to mush. The day was warm and sunny with barely a breath of wind. She stood barefoot on the front lawn, holding Quinn’s raised hands while he staggered about, perfecting his walk. “Look, Quinn! Daddy’s home!”

His son’s giggle raised a knot in Calder’s throat.

When Pandora
walked
the baby to him, Calder lifted his son for a hug. He would miss Quinn, as well as the boy’s nanny, when he left for his mission.

Sighing, he asked, “Remember when I told you I sometimes need to ship out with short notice?”

She nodded, and damn if her eyes didn’t suddenly shine with unshed tears. “But you’ll be home soon, right?”

“Sure.”
Home.
Such a loaded word. He used to return from missions to the apartment he shared with fellow team members. It was vacant while they were gone. An empty vessel standing by to once again be filled. Now that he had a home, a son, a woman—a
friend—
who cared for both, he feared the game may have changed.

“Okay, then...” She took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I imagine you need help packing? I just did laundry, so—”

“Thanks, but I’m good. It’s not really a traditional packing kind of trip, and my gear’s back on base, ready to go.” He smoothed Quinn’s downy hair. “I just wanted to see this guy.”
You.
“Let you know I’m leaving. Make sure you have enough money and stuff.”

“There’s plenty in the house account.”

“Good. I’ll add more. And you and Quinn go have fun once in a while, okay?”

“Sure....”

There was more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how. Or even if it was appropriate. He wanted to thank her for all she’d done for him and Quinn. For all she would do in bringing him peace of mind while he was gone. “Look...” He glanced down. Kicked a pebble near his foot. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I might as well come right out with it. If something happens and I don’t—”

“Stop.” She held up her hands. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Yeah, but if I’m not...”

She childishly put her hands over her ears and shook her head.

Calder set Quinn on the grass, then clasped Pandora’s wrists, gently tugging her arms down before taking her hands. Easing his fingers between hers felt as forbidden and raw as if he’d slid inside her. In all the missions he’d been on, he’d never experienced such crushing urgency to take care of business that might be left behind. Before Quinn, before Pandora, he’d always called his folks prior to leaving for a mission, then been on his merry way. Now? He gave her hands an urgent squeeze, wanting desperately to kiss her but squashing the urge. For all he knew, she viewed him strictly as her boss—as she should.

“Okay, so look,” he began again. “If anything happens to me, my mom has all the necessary documentation to make sure Quinn’s legally safe. Her number’s in the address book I keep in the drawer under the kitchen phone.”

She swallowed hard and nodded.

“I hope to be back before our North Carolina trip. I want you to meet my mom. I think you two will be friends.”

“I—I’d like that.”

During their exchange, Quinn had nearly crawled his way to the sidewalk. When Pandora released Calder’s hands to chase after her charge, for a moment he felt bereft. He knew it was the whole
going-off-to-war
thing that had him melodramatic, but he couldn’t help it. Was this how his pals Garrett and Deacon felt every time they left their families? If so, how did they take it? He and Pandora weren’t anything but employer and employee, so why did he feel as if he was leaving not only his son, but a woman who could one day teach him that commitment might not be all bad?

*

“T
HANK
YOU
,” Pandora said to Lila, who’d just brought her fourth batch of cookies in two weeks. She opened the front door, inviting her friend inside. “Quinn and I always appreciate your baking, but you do know you don’t have to keep bringing us goodies.”

“Of course, I know.” She made a beeline for Quinn, who sat on the carpet playing with his jumbo blocks. “But as long as Calder’s off fighting for our country, the least I can do is bake for his family.”

“I’m not his family,” Pandora said for what felt like the hundredth time.

“Maybe not technically, but haven’t you ever heard that old saying about there being families we’re born into and then there are the ones we choose?”

“Well, sure, but...” Her words trailed off because she realized what Lila said was true. Of course, Julia was still her world, but since taking this job, her world had expanded and blossomed. Quinn meant so much to her, and no matter how vehemently she tried denying feeling anything special for his father, every night when she said her prayers, adding extra for Calder and his team’s protection, her thoughts drifted to memories of that sunny morning he’d held her hands.

Had his action been significant? Or was she reading too much into what had in reality been a casual gesture? Having never been around men who weren’t either physically or emotionally abusive—sometimes both—she had no experiences with which to gauge what was real.

All she did know was standing in the yard, warm sun kissing her face, she’d wished Calder had kissed her, too.

*

B
Y
THE
TIME
Pandora’s next visit with Julia rolled around, Calder was still out of town. She could’ve asked Natalie to watch Quinn for her, but Pandora figured her daughter would get a kick out of playing with a “real live” doll, so she packed Quinn up and took him with her.

“He’s so cute,” her daughter said. Julia sat in the corner of the visitation room’s sofa, holding Quinn on her lap. “I love his chubby belly.”

“Me, too.”

“Mom Cindy’s having a baby!”

“Really?” Pandora’s stomach tightened into a knot. Though it wasn’t something she liked thinking about, she did worry what would happen should Julia prefer Mom Cindy to her. “That’s exciting.” And it was. She didn’t begrudge anyone else’s happiness but was more than ready to claim a slice of her own.

“When I live with you again, do we get to keep Quinn?”

“No, sweetie.” Worry vanished, making way for anticipation of the day she finally took Julia home. The fact that her daughter also thought of that time swelled her heart with joy, reminding her to once and for all stop fearing every little thing. “We can’t keep Quinn, but as long as I work for his dad, we get to play with him all we want.”

“That’s good.”

“I think so.” She toyed with one of Julia’s blond curls. Her hair was getting so long and pretty. During her few sober nights, she’d loved brushing it, singing lullabies, dreaming of a better life for them both. “Have you decided what you want to be for Halloween?”

“A princess or a zombie!”

“Oooh.” Pandora made a face. “Wouldn’t a zombie be too scary?”

“Probably. But Brent in my class says any costume that isn’t scary is stupid. Do you think so, too?”

Peer pressure this early? “I think it’s important for you to pick a costume you feel super comfortable and happy wearing. If every time you look in the mirror, you get scared, then that doesn’t sound very fun, right?”

Julia giggled. “Mom?”

“Yes?” Hearing her daughter call her that was heaven on earth.

“Can you please read more of the book we started last visit?”

“I’d love to.” Snuggling closer to both children, Pandora took the book from her bag, then turned the page to where they’d last left off.

*

A
NOTHER
WEEK
PASSED
with Calder gone.

Pandora kept busy taking Quinn for walks and teaching herself to sew using the ancient Singer she’d found for ten bucks at a yard sale. So far, she’d made kitchen curtains and a small, colorful quilt for Quinn. One day, she’d like to create clothes for Julia, but she’d need way more practice first.

Lila and Natalie often stopped by, and though Pandora’s nights were sometimes lonely and long, she worked hard to maintain Quinn’s schedule and to not dwell on the fact that his father was likely in constant danger.

On a Wednesday night, when she was dicing carrots to boil for Quinn’s supper, the phone rang.

It didn’t ring all that often, so the noise startled her and Quinn, who burst into tears.

“Poor baby, it’s okay.” Before answering, she plucked him off the kitchen floor and into her arms. “Hello?”

“Hi, Pandora?”

“Yes?” The woman on the line sounded familiar, but Pandora couldn’t immediately place her.

“This is Patricia—we met during the guys’ beach-volleyball game?”

“Oh, sure. How are you?”

“Actually, great. Now that Heath and I are officially engaged, I’m on the
wife-
calling circle. I know you and Calder aren’t like a couple or anything, but I thought you’d want to know the guys are due back tomorrow afternoon.”

“That’s great!” Pandora didn’t even try hiding her excitement, and her relief. “Thank you so much for calling.”

Patricia laughed. “You’re welcome. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Pandora hung up the phone and closed her stinging eyes.

“Hear that, sweetie?” She tickled Quinn’s tummy. “Your daddy’s coming home.”

*

C
ALDER
DIDN
’
T
THINK
his commanding officer would ever end their team’s debriefing. Finally, it was over, and he was free to go. A long time ago, he would have hit Tipsea’s for a wild night out with his single friends, but instead he shared in a few minutes’ obligatory handshaking and backslapping on a job well done, then hitched a ride home from Heath.

Heath dropped him at the curb, saying a quick goodbye as he was eager for his reunion with Patricia.

With his ditty bag slung over his shoulder, Calder crossed the yard and mounted his porch steps at a hurried pace. Lord, he couldn’t wait to hold his son.

And Pandora?

How did he feel about seeing her?

He didn’t have to wait long to find out. She must’ve gotten the heads-up on his imminent arrival because she dashed out the door with Quinn in her arms. “Hi! We missed you!”

Laughing, tossing his bag to reach for his son, he said, “Not half as much as I missed you. And this guy looks like he’s grown a foot.”

“How was it?”

He made a face.

“Sorry.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. Had it grown longer? He liked it. “Dumb question.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t say that past missions have been
enjoyable,
and even though this one was relatively short, it felt longer than the fifteen months I spent in Iraq.”

“That’s a really long time.”

“No kidding.” The phrase struck him as trite. There was so much Calder wanted to say but wasn’t sure how, or if he should. He’d seen kids Quinn’s age living in deplorable conditions. Women performing countless hours of hard physical labor to scrape a meager existence from ravaged land. When he’d been on missions before, he’d focused on getting his job done. This time, he’d soaked in the world around him, really took a good long look at the people and what they were even fighting for. It’d been sobering. And more than anything, he wanted to draw Pandora in for a hug, burying his face in her hair.

“Patricia told me you’d be home today, so if you’re hungry, I made all your favorites.” She gestured toward the door, smiling shyly in a way that twisted him all up inside. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t spent every second of downtime thinking about her and Quinn.

“You didn’t have to do that.”
But I’m sure glad you did.

“I know. I wanted to.” Tugging him by his sleeve, she urged him inside. “Come on. Quinn and I did some decorating.”

Calder trailed after her, trying not to focus on her swaying hips. Looking up, he got a shock to find his living room transformed into the sort of patriotic homecoming usually reserved for the airport welcoming of National Guard units. SEALs operated without a lot of fanfare. So this...

He teared up. “Quinn,” he said, locking his gaze with Pandora, “did you do all this?”

“He sure did.” Pandora winked. “Although he had to sit on a few phone books to see over the wheel when he was out buying supplies.”

“This is...” There were no words to describe how her simple gesture of red, white and blue balloons and streamers, coupled with a giant banner reading
Welcome Home, Daddy!
made him feel special. As if he’d somehow become part of a family without even knowing it. “This is really great.”

When Calder’s throat knotted again, he did what he’d been craving from the moment he’d set eyes on her, and gave Pandora a hug. With Quinn squirming between them, there was nothing sexy about the gesture, but it felt great all the same.

“I’m glad you like it.” When she stepped back, her eyes shone. “Quinn and I had fun. He made all the handprints decorating the edge of your banner.”

Holding Quinn out to face him, Calder took in his son’s handiwork, then said, “I’m impressed. Looks like we’ve got quite the little artist on our hands.”
We.
The moment he referred to both himself and Pandora, Calder knew all the time he’d spent thinking about her when he’d been in Somalia was for a reason. He had started to think of Pandora as an integral part of not only Quinn’s life but his.