A Love Like This (52 page)

“Yes, but we don’t need to antagonize each
other, right?” Julia smiled softly and leaned toward me for a soft
kiss. “We’re going to be poor, so it’s a good thing we can live on
love…
and sex
.” Julia smirked at me and waggled her sculpted
eyebrows.

I laughed out loud. “We’ll manage
somehow.”

“Should we go back to Boston? Being there
with you after the accident meant so much to me. I bet Mass General
would love to get you back.”

I watched her closely as the enormity of her
words sank in. “Wow. Really?” I missed Boston.

She lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug.
“Yes.” I fell into the soft green orbs of her eyes as the softly
spoken word left her mouth.

“I want to have the baby with Aaron and
Jenna close by anyway.”

“That’s a very sweet thought.”

Her eyes connected and stayed on mine.
“Ryan…” Julia reached out and threaded her fingers to mine; lifting
my hand, she bent to brush her lips across the top of it. “I’d like
you to deliver the baby; just you and me. We’re so close, and this
is such an intimate thing, I don’t want to share it with anyone
else. Do you think that would be okay?”

My throat started to close before she was
finished speaking, and my eyes burned with emotion. I was
overwhelmed. “I think… that would be… unbelievably…
perfect
.
If there are no complications, and I feel it’s safe, I would really
love that, babe.” An incredulous laugh burst out. “How did I ever
get so lucky? You’re so
fucking amazing
.”

Happiness filled her beautiful green eyes,
and the music of her laughter filled my soul with joy. “Takes one
to know one, Matthews.”

Happiness and contentment settled over me
like a thick, fluffy blanket. I flashed my wife a brilliant smile
and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. I guess it does.”

~Epilogue~

I drew my hand down over the swollen curve of
Julia’s pregnant belly, spreading my fingers wide to hold as much
of it as I could in my hand; always waiting for the miracle of a
flutter or kick. We sat in the freshly finished nursery, snuggled
up together in the plush chaise lounge. Julia’s hand was wrapped
around my bicep, and her forehead rested against it, her back
against my chest as she sat between my legs. I leaned in to press
my lips to the top of her head. She was so beautiful to me as her
body changed before my eyes. She sighed with satisfaction, and I
had no desire to move, just enjoying Julia’s scent and the feeling
of holding her close. My lips remained against her skin.

After two months of hunting around different
parts of the city, we found a modest home in an older neighborhood.
Julia liked the architecture and character much more than newer,
more modern, cookie-cutter types; the landscaping was more detailed
and the trees taller and more luxurious. Being an artist, she
obviously translated individuality into beauty. She loved the
hardwood floors and deep woodwork, arched entryways, and the quaint
little touches. It was the window seat in this room that had sold
us the house. It was the perfect place for our family to grow.

Of course, it wasn’t so perfect when we
bought it and it needed quite a bit of work, but the price was
right. The budget was tighter than tight, but somehow, we made it
work. Julia did a lot of the painting, but we hired a contractor
for the rework of the kitchen and bathroom. I helped as much as
possible when I was home, but she seemed to enjoy putting her stamp
on it. We saved decorating the nursery until after the first
ultrasound and didn’t begin until the first of May. I didn’t really
want to know the sex of the baby, but Julia argued that we could
get to know the baby and also personalize the space. And, she
glowed like a light bulb the entire time we worked on it. My mom
sent a fifteen hundred dollar gift certificate from Babies “R” Us
to make sure we had everything we needed. The kid was going to be
spoiled rotten.

I glanced around the now perfectly appointed
room. Ellie and both of our mothers had flown in for the baby
shower Jenna had thrown last month, and now, the room was a baby
paradise. Instead of the typical light blue, the room was done in
eggshell with touches of dark teals and browns. Julia had a
specific name for each one of the colors, but I didn’t bog my brain
down with that crap. It looked good;—not all frou-frou—and that’s
what mattered to me.

Julia’s mom handmade a quilt in the same
color scheme; you could visibly see all the love she poured into
it. Ellie and my mom sent packages almost weekly with baby clothes
and stuffed animals. My father commissioned a wood carver in
Chicago to create the mobile hanging over the crib; and the hand
carved toy trucks, sailboats, and teddy bears exactly matched the
images on Marin’s quilt. The music box at the center of it played
row
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
.

There was a dresser full of diapers,
blankets, onesies, and footed pajamas, a bookshelf already filled
with children’s classics, a chaise and rocking chair, and a dark
mahogany crib and changing table. It looked like an ad out of Vogue
Baby. I huffed out a small laugh. I wasn’t sure why I expected
anything less.

We’d moved to Boston as soon as we could
break our lease in New York. Meredith called ten times, begging
Julia to reconsider leaving Condé Nast, and I was proud of her
steadfastness that initiated the move. I was extremely proud when I
listened to her on the phone, only two days after we’d returned to
New York, telling her ex-boss that she wouldn’t choose her job over
her family ever again. It turned out Meredith was the one who caved
and made an offer for Julia to work on the magazine, freelance,
from Boston. We moved her art table and bought an old desk at a
flea market, and both now sat in her new office in the other spare
bedroom. It was all coming together like perfect pieces of a
puzzle.

My place in the residency program at Mass
General was secured before we’d packed one box. I was happy as hell
to be back in familiar surroundings, working closely with some of
my friends, and mostly, to have Aaron and Jenna near. It was like
stepping back into the most comfortable pair of jeans I ever
had.

Aaron was focusing on internal medicine, so
he wasn’t working in the ER with me, but I still had Jenna. The
hours were grueling, and I was still away from Julia more than
either of us liked, but the two women spent a lot of time together.
Somehow, it made my time away easier. I felt safer, more at
ease.

Now all that was left to do was have the
baby. I’d never forget how I felt when I looked at the ultrasound
screen, holding Julia’s hand.
She looked up at me with expectant
eyes, waiting for me to tell her if our baby was a boy or a girl.
My heart almost flew out of my chest as the nurse rolled the
instrument around in the goo on Julia’s rounded stomach. When that
little profile showed up on the screen, my eyes blurred, and I
squeezed her hand so hard she had to tell me to loosen my grip. A
few more turns and we made sure the baby was healthy, and the sex
became clear. I puffed up like a peacock, bending down to kiss my
wife happily.

“
Ryan? Well, what?” She’d been so
anxious, pulling at my shirt with her free hand. “Ryan!”

“
It’s a boy.” Her face lit up, and she
cried, all at the same time. I grinned so hard, my face hurt. I
smiled softly now, remembering.

Julia sat back with a satisfied expression.
“I told you.”

The baby was measured to make sure he was
developing on schedule, and he was perfect.

When we left the appointment, I hoisted her
up on my back for a piggyback ride to the car.

The fingers of Julia’s other hand traced
delicate lines in the hair on my forearm that held her close. “What
are you thinking about?”

“Well…” I murmured softly, enjoying the
feeling of having her enfolded against me. “I’m thinking that the
baby is due in a week, and we still have to choose his name.”

Her arms rested over mine and tightened,
bringing mine closer around her. “I know. Jenna said we should
combine our names. She suggested Julian.”

My face screwed up in protest. “Uh… no. My
son isn’t going to have a pussy name like that!” I insisted.

Julia giggled happily. “I told her you’d say
that.”

I huffed, grinning. “No shit.”

“Zane?” she asked softly.

I didn’t hesitate. “What? So he can get his
ass teased off. ‘Hey! Insane Zane!’ No, thanks.”

“Elliott?”

“No.”

“Jason? Or Jace for short?”

I grimaced again. I liked Jace, but Jason,
no way in hell. “Jason reminds me of that ass-wipe who followed you
around like a dog junior year.”

Julia snorted softly and looked up at me,
her expression amused. “Jason Milner?” she asked incredulously.

I shook my head and screwed up my face.
“See? Why’d ya have to go and remember that dickhead’s name?”

She laughed out loud. “Why don’t you come up
with something since you hate all of my ideas? We could name him
after your dad.”

I lifted a shoulder. “Eh… I thought of that.
But won’t your dad be pissed?”

“I don’t like my dad’s name that much, but
don’t tell him I said that.”

“This is a hell of a lot harder than I
thought it would be.”

“What about Aaron or Ryan? Or your middle
name?”

I let that sit for a minute, contemplating
the options. I was certain it would mean a lot to Aaron if I named
my son after him, and at the same time, I’d be proud as hell if my
little boy had my name.

“Aaron Mitchell or Ryan Aaron?” Julia asked,
still stroking her fingers up and down my arm.

“I don’t know. Ryan Aaron feels goofy.”

“That’s because you’re used to Ryan
Mitchell. So, what about a derivative name? One we make out of Ryan
and Aaron?”

“You mean like Ry-ron?” I thought it sounded
completely ludicrous and the tone in my voice said so. “You want me
to name my son
Ry-ron
? That’s… Uh, when hell freezes
over.”

Julia burst out laughing. “No, not like
Ry-ron. Oh, my God, Ryan! It doesn’t have to be so literal!”

I couldn’t help the deep chuckle that
rumbled through my chest. “Then, what? Ay-on?”

She reached around and punched me playfully
in the arm, still laughing. “No! What about Aiden, only we spell it
with an A N at the end or Y after A? Like A I D A N, A Y D A N or A
Y D E N? That way, he’ll have some letters from each of your names?
I like that a lot.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Which one do you like the most?”

I mulled it over, trying to think of any
stupid nicknames that could be made out of it and then whether it
was dignified enough for him as a man. It had to fit him all his
life. “I think A I D A N is nice.”

She nodded. “Okay, then Aidan it is.”

“Aidan Aaron?” I asked.

Julia shrugged against me. “That could work.
But, see, I have this mad crush on the baby’s daddy, so I’d really
love to see my son carry some part of your name in a real way,
Ryan. So, Aiden Mitchell is my favorite.”

My mouth lifted in a slow smile, and love
for the woman in my arms once again lurched in my chest. I pulled
her closer, kissing the side of her face. “I love you, you
know.”

Julia turned in my arms, and I moved to let
her adjust. She turned sideways and draped both legs over the top
of my left thigh. She settled against my chest and wrapped her arms
around my waist. Her nose brushed against my jaw, and then she
kissed along its line. Her lips were warm and coaxing.

“Yes, I know,” she whispered against my jaw.
My body reacted automatically. “Ryan…”

I knew she wanted to make love. Our mothers
were coming, and this would be the last day we had to ourselves.
“Baby…”

I’d long since convinced her that I found
her pregnant body as arousing as ever, but we were getting so close
to the due date, and though my body was aching with want, I thought
we should hold off.

“What? You know it won’t hurt the baby.” Her
hand trailed down my chest and pushed up under the edge of my
T-shirt to slide along the top of my jeans and over the bulge
underneath the denim. Her fingers closed around my length, and I
closed my eyes as she moved her hand up and down, pressing her
fingers in small circles when she got to the head. “You want me,”
she whispered against my mouth. I wanted to let loose on her, but I
just couldn’t.

I let out a small groan, willing my hips to
keep from thrusting against her hands. “I do, but babe… the baby’s
turned, and there’s something so wrong about jabbing my cock in
close to his little head. Especially, now that he has a name,” I
lamented regretfully. Shit, was it ever regretfully.

Instantly, Julia’s hand stopped, and she
pulled back to raise an eyebrow at me. “Are you serious?”