A Love Like This (31 page)

“I’ll be right back.” She dropped a brief
kiss on my mouth. My head fell back as Julia jumped off my lap and
ran to the door, pressing down the button and speaking into it.

“Yes?”

“Mrs. Matthews, you have a visitor,
ma’am.”

“Who is it, please?”

“Miss Cooper, ma’am.”

Are you fucking kidding me! What was Jane
doing here?
I watched Julia’s happy mood fall off her with the
suddenness of an avalanche, and she turned a stony face toward me.
Seconds later, her expression was an angry mask as she waited for
me to say something.

“Ma’am?” the attendant asked again. Her
finger let go of the intercom.

I took a breath and shook my head, getting
up to walk over to stand beside Julia.

Her eyes shot daggers at me, but she didn’t
say a damn word and stomped away when I reached her. “Babe, I
didn’t invite her.”

“It doesn’t seem to matter, Ryan!” She
turned back to me and hissed. “She takes too much for granted!” I
opened my mouth to respond, but Julia cut me off. “Don’t you dare
say we owe her!”

“I was going to say… it’s Christmas. And she
has no one, now.”

Julia laughed bitterly. “Wrong. Obviously,
she has you!” she huffed and stormed off down the hall.

I stood there struggling with what to do
next. It would be rude to ignore Jane now that she knew we were
home. The door to the bedroom slammed with a resounding bang that
shook the walls. I couldn’t help the flinch it elicited.

I pushed the buzzer. “Okay. Please send her
up.”

I leaned against the door waiting the 45
seconds it would take Jane to ride up the elevator, pinching the
bridge of my nose. I was fucked, either way. I’d be an asshole if I
hadn’t allowed her up, and I was an asshole if I did. Maybe
whatever Jane’s reason for stopping over would conclude quickly,
and I could try to soothe Julia’s ruffled feathers and salvage what
I could of the evening. My thoughts turned to the framed poem under
the tree.

“Goddamn it to Hell!” I muttered under my
breath just before Jane knocked on the door. I ran a hand over my
face and then through my hair, willing my face to be welcoming and
not exuding the anger I was feeling. Fuck, I didn’t know who I was
mad at. Jane probably had good intentions, but I’d just explained
things to her. And Julia… she was being ungracious as hell,
everything considered.

I took a calming breath and opened the door.
“Hi, Jane.” She walked past me, scanning the inside of the
apartment while carrying a green and red wrapped package and
another bag that was obviously a bottle of wine.

“I’m sorry to stop by unannounced, Ryan.
But, you left so fast, I didn’t have an opportunity to give you the
gift I have for you.” Jane walked past me, and I was at a loss as
to what to say. I didn’t want the gift. I glanced nervously down
the hall. No way in hell could I accept it, but Jane would be hurt
if I refused.

I walked slowly behind her into the main
part of the apartment, both of my hands lifting to fist in my hair.
I quickly lowered them when she turned around. “Where is
Julia?”

“She’s… in the other room. Jane, we didn’t
talk about a gift exchange, and I feel bad cause…” I began.

She waved away my objection. “Oh, Ryan this
is really nothing. You both mentioned that, well, I mean… I just
wanted to contribute something to your Christmas. This is for you.”
She handed me the box, and my fingers automatically closed around
it. “I brought Julia some wine. I didn’t know what else to get
her.”

“It was unnecessary.”

“I…” she looked up at me, and it occurred to
me that I should take her coat and ask her to sit down. “I wanted
to have a little piece of Christmas.” My heart felt for her, and I
glanced down briefly before meeting her eyes again.

“Jane, let me take your coat, and I’ll go
see what’s keeping Julia.” By the time I’d helped her out of her
coat, Julia was leaning against the wall at the end of the hall,
watching us. She wore a somewhat pinched expression; I could see
the anger mixed with disappointment cross her features.

“Hello, Jane. Did you just leave the
hospital?”

“A little while ago. I just wanted to stop
by on my way home.”

Julia nodded and came into the room. “Can I
get you something to drink?”

“Oh!” Jane scrambled to retrieve the bag
next to her. “I brought some wine, but I don’t want to interrupt
your evening.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s sweet of you to stop
by.” A plastic smile pasted on Julia’s face, then she disappeared
into the kitchen with the wine. I stood there looking after my wife
then back to Jane, who was now sitting in front of me.

“Excuse me a moment, won’t you, Jane?” I
found Julia pulling angrily at the foil around the neck of the
bottle. “Honey, can I help you?”

Her eyes shot venom as she flashed the
bottle so I could see the label. I flushed that it was my new cheap
favorite merlot. I shrugged uncomfortably. “Coincidence.”

Julia’s lips pressed together in a firm line
the entire time she worked the cork out of the bottle with the
corkscrew and reached for three glasses.

“Oh, I’m sure the planets all aligned. I’m
sure a choir of angels will begin their serenade momentarily.” Her
voice took on a sugary tone, yet sarcasm laced each word. She
handed me two of the glasses and picked up the other with the
bottle, motioning with her head that I should precede her into the
other room. I started to get pissed myself. It wasn’t like I’d
planned this or asked Jane to be here, and Julia could damn well
acknowledge that!

When I’d handed Jane the wine, Julia took a
seat in the single chair at the end of the sofa, forcing me to take
the end of the couch between her and Jane.

“Aren’t you going to open your gift, hon?”
Julia asked sweetly, wrinkling her nose at me. If the situation
weren’t so infuriating, I would have laughed my ass off.

As it was, the hair on the back of my neck
stood up in agitation. Julia was leaving the door wide open, acting
like she was fine, but I could see her seething. It was all I could
do to sit there and not jump out of my skin. Jane picked the gift
up off the coffee table and handed it to me.

I looked at it, concentrating on the holly
pattern in the paper.
What the fuck?
All I knew was I wanted
this over with. My hands began ripping at the wrapping.

I sat there watching Ryan accepting the gift
from Jane, wanting to claw at her face the way Ryan was ripping at
the wrapping paper. I took a long pull on my wine, emptying the
glass and refilling it without taking my eyes off Jane. Couldn’t
she see that she was interrupting something? I could feel my heart
beating; not in the excited, yummy way, but the sickening thud that
felt like it was falling down a notch in your chest. My face must
be red, because it felt like it was on fire. I could feel the heat
moving up from my chest, over my cheeks, and toward my hairline. I
inhaled until my lungs couldn’t hold anymore.

Ryan’s eyes touched mine briefly before he
looked back down at the box in his hands. He was acting guilty as
hell… I could see it all over him. And he could see I was
fuming.

It was a shoebox. Perfect. I knew I
shouldn’t have told her what I was giving him. Lesson one when you
know a woman was after your man:
Don’t fucking talk to her about
personal shit!
She came off so innocent and needy, but this was
a calculated move to ruin Christmas between Ryan and me.
You
little bitch! And why the hell is Ryan even accepting it?
My
mind screamed.

When he opened the box, a pair of the
ugliest shoes I’d ever seen lay inside. Ryan lifted one out and
examined it. It looked like an old man’s dress shoe crossed with a
sneaker.

“They’re Finns.” Jane explained when Ryan
didn’t speak right away. She appeared to fidget a little when he
wasn’t all thankful and gushing, but if he knew what was good for
him, he’d reign that shit in. “I… ugh, I didn’t know the exact
size, but the shoe salesman told me the average size for men was
between eight and ten, so… I guessed, but you can exchange them if
you need too. A lot of hospital personnel wear them.”

Ryan’s mouth opened, but I cut him off.
“Ryan is anything but average,” I snapped. Her eyes darted to mine
and hardened. It was obvious she knew I was on to her not-so-covert
ploy. I was sitting on the arm of the chair with one elbow on my
knee and my wine glass in the other. I gulped it down and jumped up
to refill it.

“They’re too expensive, Jane. I can’t…”

“Please don’t say you can’t accept them,
Ryan. You’ve been so supportive, and I just wanted to say thank
you.” Her hand reached for Ryan’s, and I wanted to rake my nails
across her creamy skin hard enough to draw blood. When he didn’t
pull away immediately, my eyes widened and my head cocked slightly
as his gaze met mine.

“I told you. I wanted to give someone
something so it would at least seem like Christmas,” Jane cooed.
The expression she gave to Ryan was soft and pleading. I felt the
bile rise up in my throat. I got up and almost vaulted into the
kitchen trying to get my emotions under control. It wasn’t his
fault she showed up, but I was so mad at him. He had to know this
was killing me! And, I felt venomous toward Jane. The bottle of
wine Jane brought was near empty in the other room, so I opened the
refrigerator and pulled out the half bottle of Chardonnay sitting
on the shelf. I filled my glass to the rim and gulped half of it
down in three big swallows. I was getting tipsy, and I was welcomed
the slight buzz. I’d do anything to ease the painful black hole in
my chest.

Maybe if I was numb, I wouldn’t scream at
Jane; or Ryan. Jealousy ate at me, sure, but I was disappointed in
a huge way. Tonight started out so amazing but had turned to total
crap. What could have been a beautiful, intimate experience was
ruined.
Again.
I was through being gracious and
understanding. Goddammit! Jane was out to get him, and I could see
it clearly, even if Ryan couldn’t. I glanced down at the counter
and huffed. How could she weasel her way between us? If she was
this blatant in front of me, what the hell was she like when I
wasn’t around? A shudder ran through me at the thought.

I set the glass down at a sound by the door.
Ryan was helping Jane on with her coat. I walked over to lean on
the doorjamb that connected the kitchen to the front entryway and
watched Ryan hand Jane thirty dollars cash and give her a brief hug
before opening the door.
What the fuck?

“Goodbye, Jane.” I forced myself to speak to
her, but my words sounded a bit slurred. My head was starting to
swim.

Jane offered me an acid smile that I could
see right through. I returned it with equal venom. When did sweet
little Jane turn into this? I laughed bitterly, my shoulder
slipping off the wall. Ryan caught me, but I moved away, not
wanting him to touch me. His expression soured, his brow furrowing,
and jaw hardening.
Well fuck him. Let him go play with Jane and
his ugly damn shoes!

“Merry Christmas, Julia. I hope you enjoy
the perfume.”

Wait, what?
My chin jutted out and I
glanced between Ryan and Jane as he opened the door, carefully
watching Ryan’s reactions. He looked pissed.

“Jane, seriously?” Ryan motioned to the
wrapped packages under the tree.

“Oh, sorry.” Her cloying response didn’t
fool either one of us.

Ryan opened the door. “Make sure to get a
cab, Jane. No subway tonight.” Ryan’s voice was tight.

She reached out to touch the front of his
shirt, her fingers lingering on the fabric a little too long. I
watched it happen in slow motion. She nodded and murmured something
I couldn’t hear past the blood rushing in my ears. When the door
closed behind her, I turned abruptly to go find more wine.

“Julia, you’ve had enough.” Ryan’s voice was
soft but firm behind me.

I finished the wine and reached for the
bottle, laughing lightly. “Oh, you can say that again.”

Ryan came forward and roughly yanked the
bottle from my fingers. “You’re drunk.”

I scowled at him. “What do you care?” I
huffed angrily.

“I want to give you your gifts. Come on.” He
sounded stiff, and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to scream
furiously at him or fall down crying. Tonight was ruined. Did he
think I wanted to exchange the gifts now? His hand closed around my
wrist, and I pulled it away like his touch burned.

“I don’t feel like it, Ryan!”

“You know I didn’t invite her here.”

“So what? I don’t feel like celebrating
anymore.” My answer was abrupt. I pushed away from the counter and
went to sit next to the tree. I pulled the presents out one by one,
sorting the ones from our parents and friends into two piles,
leaving two under the tree. I put a hand to my head, feeling a
little dizzy. Ryan came to sit on the couch near me, leaning
forward, his elbows on his knees, watching.