A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan (13 page)

“That’s it, Connor,” Jayden told him, as he moved his hand up to stroke the boy’s chest. “Let it go, let yourself feel it.” I took his statement and applied it myself. I could feel the smooth surface of the toy rubbing me, stimulating me; a fire raced through my body. I moaned as Jayden made his way over to me next. Instead of beside me, as he had with Connor, he stood behind me. He reached around me, still allowing me to work myself on the toy, his fingers grazed my nipples and then rubbed lightly over my stomach.

“You wish it were my cock inside you, don’t you Ethan?” he asked with a raw edge to his voice. “You want me to bend you over one of these tables and just fuck you, don’t you?” He pressed against me and I felt his erection press against me through his pants. “Do you feel that? Watching you like this makes me so damn hard.”

I moaned loudly and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. While his left hand remained on my stomach, rubbing in small concentric circles, his other hand moved down and stroked me until I was bouncing feverishly on the fake cock, desperately trying to find my release.

He reached up and unlocked my right wrist from the hook on the top of the frame. Placing his hand over mine on my cock, he stroked me with my own hand and I felt his fingers squeezing mine around my straining erection. I grunted rhythmically, as he murmured in my ear that he wanted me to climax. Finally, my sounds became completely unrestrained just before he removed his hand and walked over to Connor. I continued to stroke myself while Jayden released Connor’s right wrist as well. Connor and I stroked ourselves hard and fast while Jayden stood back and watched us work on the toys and on our cocks. He was smiling, he was pleased.

I watched as Connor began to move his hand at least twice as fast, stroking it hard and fast as his hips moved against the sawhorse. As his breathing accelerated wildly and his open-mouthed whimpers got higher in pitch, I knew he was close to his climax. I reversed my own grip, so that my thumb and forefinger were nearer the base, and rode the fake cock beneath me hard, sweat trickling down from my temple and over my cheek.

My head snapped up as Connor cried out, groaning and straining as his semen jettisoned from the end of his cock and onto the leather padding in front of him. A white film covered the front of his hand and he continued to pump the last vestiges of his orgasm onto the smooth surface. The erotic sight and cacophony of sound coming from him caused my orgasm to erupt as well. I had just enough time to turn my hand before I too exploded. My semen mixed with Connor’s as I nearly screamed in my release. I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes tightly as each distinct wave of my orgasm crashed into me and I reveled in every one.

Jayden came forward and, after a few swipes with a nearby towel, released us from our bonds. Just as we pulled ourselves from the horse, he ordered us to our knees before him. We complied immediately and he removed the panel from the front of his pants, just as I had done so many times before with him. Connor and I scrambled forward on our knees until we were just in front of him, our faces on either side of his beautiful, hard erection.

“Please your Master,” he commanded. We both pressed forward, Connor licking up one side of his shaft while I licked down the other. Above us, Jayden moaned. Closing my eyes, I continued to run my tongue up and down the length of his shaft, but when I reached the head, I felt something else and my eyes flew open. I gave him a wicked grin and then kissed Connor over Jayden’s hard cock. When Jayden saw what we were doing, his fingers tightened convulsively in my hair. I moaned and moved back to watch Connor take Jayden into his mouth and then I pressed my cheek against Jayden’s inner thigh, licking between his legs. I opened my mouth and sucked lightly on his balls, covering each with soft delicate strokes of my tongue. Jayden’s legs were trembling and his hips started to move as he pumped into Connor’s mouth. I moved behind him and ran my tongue over his clenching buttocks. He stopped moving at once, allowing me to explore him more fully. Gently, I bit down between his buttocks and he thrust forward deep into Connor’s throat with a harsh groan, almost a growl, as he climaxed violently.

Once he caught his breath, our Master gave us permission to leave. Connor stood and walked toward the front of the room, while I watched Jayden. He moved over to the back wall and stared out of the window. The light played across his face and it struck me how beautiful he was, even with the sadness in his expression.

I left and headed downstairs to call Gabriel.

“Hi, Ethan,” Gabriel answered jovially. His attitude on things was so different from what I was used to. I didn’t know if Gabriel was naturally an upbeat person or if he was just like that around me, but…I liked it.

“Hi, Gabriel,” I answered, trying to sound just as upbeat, but found that I was unable. Jayden was closer to me than anyone and it concerned me that there was something bothering him that he didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about.

“What’s up?” Gabriel asked, trying to remain upbeat. I knew he could hear something in my voice.

“I just…I like talking to you. There are just some things right now…I can’t…” I stammered, but I couldn’t get the words out.

“Okay, well...Have you heard this one? A transvestite, a werewolf and a duck walk into a bar…” he started, but before he goes any further, I burst into laughter.

“There can’t possibly be a punch line to that.” I said with a smile on my face for the first time that day.

“Yeah, well…No, there isn’t. You’ll have to give me a minute. I’m a lawyer, not a standup comic,” he said, laughing before turning serious again. "Ethan, do you want to talk about it?” Something in my voice must have given me away. I didn’t know Gabriel very well, but he already seemed like someone that I could depend on. Genuine and unassuming, he seemed like someone who could give sound, sane advice and have a different perspective on my alternative types of relationships. However, talking to him about Jayden would mean revealing more than I was comfortable with at that moment.

“I don’t think so, not yet anyway,” I replied. He was quiet for a minute and I thought perhaps I had offended him, but then he surprised me.

“It’s okay, I understand,” he said gently. “While I have you on the phone, what kind of beer did you want for Friday night?”

“I’ll bring it with me. You’re hosting, the least I can do is bring beer.” We talked for about twenty minutes about beer and movies, making plans and I found myself looking forward to being with him for the evening. Maybe, if I played my cards right, I could find out more about him. Like...what he looked like shirtless. My mind ran through the possibilities, and I smiled to myself. Then I saw the book Jayden had leant me sitting next to my journal and sighed. I sat down at my desk, opened my journal and began to attempt to sort out my feelings about Jayden.

Journal Entry: Jayden Carter

I wish I knew what’s been bothering Jayden lately. In the playroom, after our session tonight, he just sat staring out the window, like something was weighing on him. Maybe they were putting too much stress on him at the office. Maybe he was thinking about his parents. Now that I have reconnected with mine, he could be missing that relationship with his. Maybe he and Lexi are having problems. I doubt this last theory, however, because Lexi hasn’t been showing the same kinds of stress indicators. If they were having problems, it would be weighing on her too. I hoped that he would talk to someone, to Lexi or me about whatever it was before it caused a meltdown like the one he’d had after he received the letter from his parents.

I had taken Lexi to dinner that night to celebrate her graduation, not wanting her to feel left out of the celebration. She had worked hard to get her degree, without any support, and she deserved to have her achievement recognized. It was important to me, especially because she had no one else to celebrate with – no family, no close friends, just me and Jayden. Once we were at dinner, we talked briefly about random things. Then, she took the opportunity to press me, yet again, about making Jayden a Dom, so that she could be his sub. It’s not that she wanted to leave me, but rather because she was in love with him. We talked about different possible scenarios that could result in their pairing but, to be honest, neither of us knew how Jayden felt about her.

Lexi got the impression that he was more interested in me than in her, but I didn’t think that was the case. Jayden and I were merely Master and sub, that’s all that we would ever be. I never stopped to analyze how I felt about her assertion at the time because, even if I were interested in that type of relationship, I was still in denial about my sexuality. At that time, I had been trying so hard to convince myself that I was in love with Lexi; that the idea of a relationship with Jayden had never entered my mind. However, I never let my mind stray to that as a possibility because he is Lexi’s. Deep down, I think Jayden realizes that he is bisexual, though I’ve never heard him put himself directly into that category. I think that Jayden could be happy in a relationship with either a man or a woman. I wonder what would have happened if I’d figured out my own sexually sooner. Now, he has Lexi and I have Gabriel. That sounds so strange to me. I have Gabriel.

My heart broke at what we found upon arriving home from the celebration dinner. Jayden was in a full rage, destroying all of the possessions in his room. I could not even imagine what could have put him in such a state, but I couldn’t let him continue. It wasn’t that I cared about the room, but I didn’t want him to injure himself. I put my hand on his shoulder, trying to get his attention, but he just threw it off. He pulled over the bookcase next and I marveled at the strength and ferocity of his rage. When he went for his laptop computer, I grabbed him around the arms and chest and he struggled violently to get loose. I told him that, whatever it was, we would help him through it. He didn’t have to do this, we would figure it out. It wasn’t until I saw Lexi pick up a letter and a check off the floor that Jayden slumped in my arms. Whatever he was upset about had to do with those two pieces of paper. Lexi whispered the contents to me and I slid down the wall with Jayden, holding him against me. I stroked his hair, telling him that it would be alright but, to be honest, I had never seen someone so utterly defeated. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for half an hour in my playroom with his stupid sister. I could think of several increasingly effective ways to teach her to keep her fucking mouth shut.

I remember my focus shifting then to the boy in my arms. There were no tears, it was almost worse. He was just…numb. We sat there against the wall for nearly an hour. Lexi sat down next to us and rubbed his back, but he didn’t move. He just sat with his head on my shoulder while I stroked his hair and his face, trying to soothe him. My heart had been racing and I ached for him. I never knew, until that point, that I could feel compassion like that for another person. Usually, I didn’t feel much of anything; I suppressed everything. That was too much to suppress. My sub, my friend, was in pain and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

No matter how long I happen to live, I will never forget the day of Jayden’s parents’ funeral. It was one of the worst days of my adult life. He had been quiet, brooding, both at the funeral and on the way home. He never said a word to either me or Lexi, his calm frightening me a little. I was unprepared to see him naked and bound to the iron working in the playroom when I went to look for him. When he begged me to whip him, I almost refused. The desperation and pain in his voice broke my heart. I knew what that felt like and I knew the physical pain helped. I just wanted to help him, take that pain from him. I would have done anything for him.

Lexi sat on the floor near his feet and watched me with accusing eyes as I stood with the flogger in my hand. I’d selected the one that would do the least damage and cause the least pain. Even if he was begging for it, I couldn’t bring myself to really hurt him. After the first strike across his back, he told me again and again to hit him harder. It was soon after that, he began to scream. They weren’t screams of physical pain, though he was using that as an excuse. They were screams of pure, unadulterated anguish. Tears streamed down my face as I continued in my task. His back was red, as were his buttocks and thighs. It wouldn’t be much longer before I drew blood. With one last heart wrenching cry from him, I threw the flogger to the floor and told him it was enough.

Lexi was crying quietly on the floor when I asked her to help me move him to his room. After rubbing him down with a soothing ointment, I gave him a sedative. He needed to rest without the pain, physical or emotional. Lexi stood next to me as I ran my fingers through his hair, waiting for the sedative to take effect. She noticed my tears and wrapped her arms around me as I buried my face in her neck. When he was finally asleep, I sat at his beside and watched him. His face was calm and peaceful. Lexi flitted in and out of the room, bringing things that he would need. Eventually, she went down to the sitting room and fell asleep on the couch. That’s where I found her when the doorbell rang.

As I swung the door open and caught a glimpse of her wild mane of blond hair, I saw red. I demanded to know what the hell she was doing there. She was startled by the force of my anger, but then she regained her ground and she forced her way inside. She demanded to know where her brother was and I told her the truth, that he was sleeping. She stormed upstairs, but there was no way I was going to let her disturb him without a fight. With Lexi right on my heels, I ran up the stairs after her. We argued in the hallway, our voices getting louder and louder, until she accomplished her goal and woke Jayden. I looked over at him and he indicated that he wanted to talk to her. Lexi was livid. She was still upset from the playroom; I actually had to physically remove her from the hallway.