A Hope Undaunted (62 page)

He sighed again and sat down on the edge of her desk, her hand clasped in his as he drew her close. “But I’m not sorry, because I met you . . . and Luke, and would you believe, he’s the only real friend I’ve ever had, other than you and Betty and Bobbie Sue?” He closed his eyes and shook his head, wetness shimmering in his lashes. “He was so hard and so tough with others . . . and yet so kind with me.” He wiped his eyes with the ball of his hand and laughed. “What an unlikely pair we made. Mutt and Jeff – polar opposites who became friends. The good-looking thug from the streets who beat people up . . . and the brainy rich kid who wanted to serve God.”

He exhaled and opened his eyes, the calm taking control once again. His smile was peaceful. “I love you, Katie . . . and I love Luke, but I have to do what my heart is telling me to do.” He swallowed hard. “What God is telling me to do.”

She slumped against him, head on his shoulder and voice broken. “Oh, Parker, why . . . ?”

He grasped her face in his hands, his eyes intent. “As much as I love you, Katie,” he said with quiet authority, “I’d rather have God’s will than my own . . . for you, for me . . .” He paused, his voice betraying the barest trace of a waver. “And for Luke. Because therein lies God’s best.”

Her eyes spanned wide, swimming with tears. “Oh, no, Parker, w-why are you saying that? What do you know?”

He rubbed her arms slowly, eyes tender as he stared from where he sat on the edge of the desk, his gaze level with hers. “I know I’m not the man God has for you, Katie . . . as much as I want to be.”

“No!” With ragged breathing, she kissed him hard, the taste of her tears salty on his lips. She heard a faint groan that seemed to come from deep within him before he swallowed her up in his arms, kissing her with more passion than he had ever shown before.

Hope sprang inside and she clutched him until her fingers ached. “Oh, Parker, please, I want you to marry me!”

He gripped her close, head tucked tightly into the curve of her neck. His voice, barely audible, held both peace and sadness. “Oh, Katie, it will be my privilege to marry you someday . . . but as the priest who performs the ceremony, not as your husband.”

Someone cleared their throat at the door, and Katie jolted.

“Uh . . . sorry if I’m interrupting something here, Parker old boy, but you did say six . . .” Luke seemed ill at ease as he stood in the doorway and glanced at his watch. As if to deflect his discomfort, he slacked a hip against the door and plucked the leather gloves from his hands, flashing them a grin. “Of course, I can always go outside and walk around the block a few times . . .”

Parker smiled, eyes flicking to the clock on the wall before returning to Luke. He squeezed Katie’s hand and rose to his feet. “Right on time, McGee, as always. I’ll tell you, when it comes to punctuality, my friend, you’re a credit to our sex.”

“Only in punctuality?” Luke asked with a cocky grin. He strolled in and stuffed his gloves into his pocket. “What about basketball, baseball . . . chess?” His gaze flitted to Katie and sobered a degree, apparently noting the distress in her redrimmed eyes. His voice lost its sparkle. “You two okay? I can come back if you – ”

“No, come on in, Luke, and take off your coat, please. I have a favor to ask.”

Katie exchanged a worried look with Luke, then gripped Parker’s arm. “Parker, please, I’m begging you . . .” Her eyes filled with a second round of tears.

Alarm registered in Luke’s voice. “What’s going on here, Parker?”

Parker hooked an arm to Katie’s waist and pulled her close, his hand stroking her hair as she wept against his chest. “I need you to take over as director of the BCAS.”

Luke blinked, not sure he had heard correctly. The sound of Katie weeping wrenched in his gut and he swallowed hard, forcing a flip tone. “Love to, old buddy, but you forget I’m the new director for Staten Island.” He attempted a wry grin. “I doubt your budget can lure me away from such a lucrative future.”

Parker stared with his usual calm while Katie’s tiny body shuddered against his. “I’m not joking, Luke,” he said quietly. “I need to know things are in good hands before I leave.”

Ice-cold prickles shivered Luke’s spine. “No, Parker, you hear me?” His voice was hard, tinged with fear. “I don’t know what game you’re playing here, but I refuse to be a part of it. So hear me loud and clear – the night of your wedding, I will be on my way to New York.”

“There isn’t going to be a wedding,” he said softly, and Katie cried all the harder.

“For the love of God, why?”

It was a dichotomy that Luke couldn’t fathom – Parker’s hand stroking Katie’s hair with such tenderness and calm while she fell apart in his arms. “Because I fell in love with a woman who taught me about courage – courage to follow my dreams and to press on despite the most painful obstacles.” His voice thickened with emotion. “And because I have a friend who taught me what real love is all about.”

“That’s crazy! You can’t just walk out on Katie . . . on these kids – ”

“I’m not,” Parker said with a sad smile. “I’m leaving them – and her – in good hands.”

Luke snatched his gloves from his pocket and jerked them on hard, fire burning in his eyes. “Well, I won’t do it. You’re just going to have to stay.”

Parker glanced at the clock. “Can’t, McGee. My train leaves in fifty minutes, and Carmichael’s expecting you on Monday. He has a list of everything in progress that he’ll fill you in on. And then later, when you have time, there’s a list in my desk of pet projects I’d like you to handle, no hurry.” He gently dislodged Katie from his chest and cupped her face in his hands, brushing his lips against hers. “I love you, Katie O’Connor. Thank you for the best year of my life.”

Katie sobbed, and Luke stared in shock as Parker lifted his coat from the desk and put it on, then picked up his suitcase and approached with extended hand. “You’re somewhat lacking at chess, McGee, but as a friend, you’re the best there is.”

“No,” Luke said, backing away. “You’re not doing this, Riley. I refuse the job.”

Smiling, Parker set down his suitcase and moved forward, ignoring Luke’s refusal with a tight clasp of his shoulders. “No you won’t, McGee. Contrary to popular opinion, you’re the one with a cream puff for a heart, not me.” He glanced at Katie with a solemn smile, then slapped the sides of Luke’s shoulders with a misty grin. “I suggest a firm hand, Luke. She tends to run the show.”

Luke’s hand was trembling as he clutched Parker’s arm. “If I take it, Riley, it will only be until Carmichael finds a replacement, and then I’ll be gone. So you’re leaving for nothing.”

“I don’t think so,” Parker said, resting his hand on top of Luke’s. “If you won’t stay for my sake, Luke, then stay for hers.” He moved to the door and shot Katie a tender gaze. “Talk him into it, Katie,” he said with a faint smile. “We both know he’s the man for the job.” He grabbed his suitcase and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Katie slumped against her desk, and her sobs finished shredding Luke’s heart. He rushed to pull her into his arms, his own voice rough with emotion. “How did he find out?” She shook her head, quivering against him. “I don’t know, but he knows . . . h-he has to.”

He handed her a handkerchief and touched her cheek. “Well, he’s not getting away with it. This is Parker Riley – the man we can talk into anything, remember? You wait here, okay?”

She nodded and sniffed, blowing her nose with another soggy heave.

Bypassing the elevator, he bolted down the stairs and out the front door, eyes scanning the street in the dark, lit only by streetlamps and storefronts still ablaze in anticipation of Christmas. He spotted him a block away, shoulders slumped and gray woolen coat flapping open in the breeze. Luke sprinted toward him, dodging couples and groups as they window shopped and milled on the sidewalk. Night had fallen, but the city was alive with the sounds of rush hour merging into the weekend with its cadence of traffic and horns blaring and music floating in the air. His stomach rumbled at the smell of steaks sizzling at Mickey Malone’s, a favorite lunch spot of Parker’s and his, and he could smell the fresh-baked bread from the bakery that Parker was just passing. His breathing was labored when he finally huffed to a stop twenty feet behind. He cupped his hands to his mouth. “Parker!”

He turned, and Luke could see from his stance in the lamplight that he would have a fight on his hands. “It doesn’t matter if you leave or not,” Luke shouted, his words heaving forth on halting breaths as they curled into the air like smoke. “I’m not going to marry Katie.”

The edges of Parker’s lips lifted in a weary smile. “That’s a lie, Luke. But don’t worry – I’ll absolve you after I become a priest.”

“Don’t do this, Parker, don’t give her up for me.” Luke’s heart pounded in his chest as he moved toward the man who was as much of a brother as if they shared the same blood. “I’m not just giving her up for you . . . I’m giving her up for me.” Air billowed into the night as Parker sighed, his shoulders slumped from the effort. He pinched the bridge of his nose with gloved fingers, head bent as if weighted with the task of rallying Luke to his side. “Truth be told, after you and Betty left Boston, I was so depressed I wanted to leave myself.” He glanced up, his eyes filled with longing. “That’s when I started thinking about what
I
really wanted, all those dreams I had tucked away when my father forced me into law. And I swear, Luke, for the first time in years, I felt glimmers of hope that maybe – just maybe – with you and Betty gone, this could be the time to follow my own path instead of my father’s.”

As if buoyed by a secret strength, his shoulders slowly rose, squaring strong with a peace and purpose that matched the calm in his eyes. “A path ingrained in me since I was a small boy – to devote myself to serving God as I always knew I was born to do.” A faint smile edged his lips. “As a priest.”

Luke gripped Parker’s arm, his tone rife with annoyance. “I don’t believe it, Parker, not for a moment. I know how much you love Katie. I see it in your face, and I read in your letters. You’re grasping at straws here, trying to convince me you’re doing the right thing.”

Parker placed his hand over Luke’s, his tone quiet. “Luke . . . have I ever lied to you before?”

With a shaky draw of air, Luke hesitated before finally shaking his head, the question depleting his hope in a frail release of air. He withdrew his hand. “No.”

“And I’m not lying now.” His throat shifted as he averted his eyes, the bright lights of the bakery illuminating his grief. His voice faded to a whisper, reedy with regret. “Don’t get me wrong, McGee, I’m not saying that I don’t love Katie or that this doesn’t hurt like the devil.” He looked up then, locking gazes with Luke. “But I could never be happy knowing I kept her from the man she really loved. I love her too much to do that, Luke . . .
and
you.”

“I won’t marry her, Parker, I swear . . .”

“Yes, you will. You were always meant to, not me. Betty knew that when she refused to marry you, and I knew it when Katie called you her ‘soul mate’ after you and Betty left. It about tore my heart out because I ached for all the pain she was going through.” One side of his mouth flicked up into a sheepish smile. “Which is about the time I abandoned my true ‘Soul mate’ to fall in love with her. But she’s a stubborn little thing with more spit and spunk than the law allows. She taught me not to quit when life gets in the way of your dreams, like I did with my father. I let him steer me off course, Luke, and God’s given me a second chance – through you. She’s in love with you, my friend, and you’re still in love with her, and it doesn’t take a genius at chess to figure that out. Don’t blow it, McGee. Few of us get a second chance to go after our dreams.”

For the first time in his life other than at chess, he found himself in a stalemate with the man he would go to the mat for, die for. For the last five years of Luke’s life, Parker Riley had been there for him, supplying him with friendship, truth, and a loyalty so rare, he’d known he was a gift from God. Their commitment to each other was strong, so much so that Luke had always been able to talk Parker into anything . . . anything but this, apparently. But this was the most important thing of all.

With a lift of his chin, Luke felt his iron will harden into every bone in his body. “Then we’re both going to walk away from her, Parker.”

Parker exhaled, his breath drifting away like a ghost in the night. He gripped his suitcase tighter in his hand and smiled. “Then some lucky guy is going to discover the girl of our dreams, McGee, because I guarantee you, she won’t last long.” He glanced at his watch. “I may have to take the next train, but that’s okay. The Seminary of the Immaculate Conception isn’t expecting me till Monday.”

Reality sank in. “That’s where you went? When you went out of town?”

Parker smiled. “Signed, sealed, and delivered, my friend. I knew I’d need everything nailed down or you would try and talk me out of it.”

Luke was desperate. “You talk about dreams, Parker, so what about Katie’s? Her dream is to become a lawyer, and you know I can never give her that.”

Parker smiled. “I know that, McGee, not on your salary. Which is why I opened an account in Katie’s name at First National – tuition for law school or whatever her heart desires. Consider it a wedding present. After all, I’m taking a vow of poverty – what do I need with it?”

“You’ve thought of everything, haven’t you?” Luke’s voice was thick with frustration.

“Yeah, Luke, I have,” Parker said with a melancholy smile, head bent. “Everything but how to make Katie fall in love with me like she’s in love with you.” He released a weighty sigh before his eyelids edged up, revealing a hint of tease. He arched a brow. “But if I had, all of us would have missed God’s proverbial boat, so it’s a good thing you’re the lady killer, McGee, and not me.” He shifted his suitcase with a tight smile. “Do me a favor, will you? Tell her family goodbye for me . . . and tell them I’m sorry. Then get your carcass back up there and get her through this. She needs you.” He held out his hand. “I’ll stay in touch.”

Luke stared at Parker’s hand and swallowed hard, water blurring his eyes. With a rush of emotion, he bypassed his hand and embraced him hard. “You better, Riley, because so help me, she’s going to need you when I leave for New York.”