A Hope Undaunted (61 page)

His jaw tightened. “You can and you will, Katie Rose. One night, that’s all I’m asking for. If one of us doesn’t show tonight, he’ll know something is up, and we can’t afford that.”

With a shiver of her body, she walked to the desk and threw the papers in the basket. Her hand shook as she put it to her eyes. “I can’t, Luke . . . please.”

Desperation arose, and he grabbed her arm, fisting it tightly, coldly. “Yes, you can! We both love this man, Katie, and he’s too important to let our feelings get in the way. I know what you’re made of – tough mettle that tells me you can do this. I’ve seen you do it. You fooled me – convinced me you didn’t care – you can fool him.”

She jerked her arm free, and her eyes all but scalded him, relieving some of the tension in his chest.
Finally
. . . a spark of anger!

“That’s because I fooled myself,” she cried, fists clenched white at her sides. But then all at once, the fury died on her face as her body crumpled and her eyes swam with tears. A hand quivered to her mouth. “Oh, Luke, forgive me, please – I was too blind to know that I loved you . . .” Her voice trailed off. “Too stubborn to know that I needed you . . .”

The urge to hold her was so strong, his teeth clenched in his jaw. He couldn’t let her do this to him, unravel him with what might have been. He drew in a deep breath and eased back on the desk, keeping his tone firm. “That’s over and done with, Katie, and our lives are headed in different directions now. We need to focus on Parker, join forces in our allegiance to him.”

She finally nodded. Squaring her shoulders, she wiped the wetness from her face with the back of her hand. “So . . . ,” she said with a shift in her throat, her voice as frail as the air that quivered from her lips. “Our hearts are to be joined after all . . . through our mutual love for Parker.”

Her words lighted upon him like a gentle mist beneath a scorching sun, cool and comforting. A common bond . . . to seal their love forever. He sighed and folded his arms, a final barrier to ensure their decision was made. “I guess so, Katie.”

Moving toward her chair, she sat down and crossed her legs, arms clutched to her waist. Her expression shifted into nonchalance as she focused on her desk. “So, what’s the plan?” Exhaling his relief, he put his head in his hand to knead the stress from his brow. “We go to dinner tonight, we talk, we laugh, we act like the best of friends.” He looked up, a faint smile on his lips. “Because we are, Katie, and will be in the future.” He rolled his neck to get rid of a kink. “Then I tell Parker I can’t take the job here because I’ve got a better one in New York.”

She blinked. “You’re leaving Boston?”

He hiked a brow, shooting her that annoying smirk that always got under her skin. “Would you rather I stay?”

“No . . .” Blood gorged her cheeks, and she swallowed hard.

“I didn’t think so,” he said with a grin.

She squinted up at him. “You’re going to lie again? About the job in New York?”

“I beg your pardon,” he said with an indignant air. “I lied the first time because I had to save you, Little Miss Sass, but I don’t generally make a habit of it. It just so happens that Parker’s father sees me as a second son, and when I called yesterday to tell him I needed a reference, he offered a job instead – at the Children’s Aid Society office on Staten Island.” His lips quirked. “Lucky for me the director’s pay is lousy – the turnover is terrible.”

Her shaky smile only made the wetness in her eyes all the more painful.

“And Lizzie has been kind enough to offer to keep Kat while I go and settle in and look for someone to watch her while I’m at work. So rest assured, Katie Rose, after tonight, you will be well rid of me.” He stood to his feet. “Are you ready to go?”

She pulled her purse from the bottom drawer, then rose and walked to the time clock. He watched her punch out, and the memory of her first day in the office washed over him like a wave of want, stinging his eyes. Dear God, what a brat she was. Dear God, how he loved her.

She tugged her coat from the rack, and he strode over to help her put it on, his hands trembling as he slipped it over her shoulders. She turned and looked up at him then, her eyes as soft and full of love as they were whenever she haunted his dreams. “Just for the record, Luke McGee, I love you. And I will love you until the day I die.”

He swallowed hard and bit back the words he wanted to say, cloaking them with a sad smile instead. “No, you won’t, Katie, at least not this way. Not with the caliber of man that Parker Riley is . . . and not with the power of prayer.” He lifted her scarf up to cover her head, then carefully tucked it around her neck. “We have to go, it’s almost six.” With a tight press of his lips, he moved to the door and flipped the lights off, then put his hand to the knob. “Ready?”

For several paralyzing moments, Parker stood pressed against the wall in the shadowed entryway of the next office, the sound of Luke and Katie’s voices fading down the stairs. He finally moved toward the elevator like a zombie, oblivious to the cool touch of the steel button as it lay beneath his hand. And then with a slash of grief, he stumbled back from the doors with a hand to his eyes. The elevator opened, and Carmichael blinked.

He looked at his watch, then squinted up at Parker as he stood in a daze. “It’s almost six. I thought you had a meeting across town and weren’t coming back.” He glanced at the darkened glass door to the Legal Department. “You coming or going?”

Parker just stared, his mind too numb to answer.

“Riley? Are you all right?”

He nodded, and his breathing was so harsh, it seemed to echo in his ears. He licked his lips. “I . . . forgot something and came back.”

“Nothing important, I hope?”

“No . . . not anymore.” Pain shifted in his throat.

“Well, you coming or going? I don’t have all night.”

Parker waved him off. “I think I’ll take the stairs after all, thanks – I’d rather walk.”

The elevator slammed shut, and his eyes trailed into a hard stare. He shifted his briefcase from one sweaty hand to the other, unprepared for the swell of anguish that overpowered him. His shoulders sagged and he put a hand to his eyes, knowing exactly what he needed to do.

He would walk.

22

She missed him. He’d only been gone three days, but it was lonely in the office without him because he so seldom traveled. He preferred the quiet life – working on behalf of children behind an old, battered desk rather than hobnobbing with the brass in New York. Much to his father’s disdain, Parker Riley was a simple man, with no aspirations to rise to the top of the Children’s Aid Society like his father wanted him to do.

Katie glanced up at the clock. “Uh-oh, you two better scoot – or Mr. Riley may show up and give you something to do.”

With a scrunch of brows, Bobbie Sue shot a lopsided grin. “Sweet tea in the morning – are we talking about the same boy here? That man has a giant-sized marshmallow for a heart, and everybody knows it. And nobody knows that better than you, Miss Sass.”

Katie grinned and inserted a piece of paper into her typewriter. She spun the platen with a lift of her chin. “That’s right, Mizzzz Dulay, and don’t you forget it. In two weeks, it will be me running the show – as Mrs. Parker Riley.”

“Humph, you do now. Ain’t that right, Mizzzz Carmichael?”

Gladys finished applying her lipstick and gave Katie a droll smile. “Sure . . . ever since she stole the boss out from under my nose, that is.” She rose to her feet and winked, putting on her coat. “Tell me, Katie, has he left his keys on your nightstand lately?”

Katie chuckled to deflect the heat in her face. “I’ve already told you, Gladys, that was only a ploy to get into his office. Parker is completely committed to doing things the right way. For pity’s sake, the man barely kisses my cheek, much less leaves his keys on my nightstand.”

“Mmm . . . doesn’t sound like the right way to me,” Gladys said with a sultry grin. “I think she’s trying to shoo us out so she can be alone with her sweetie. When does his train get in?”

Another blush warmed Katie’s cheeks as she eyed the clock. “Around five-thirty, so he should be here about six. And I’m staying, Bobbie Sue, so if you want, I can finish that report.”

“Be my guest.” Bobbie Sue dropped papers on Katie’s desk along with Carmichael’s notes, then wrestled into her coat and clocked out, right behind Gladys. “Thanks, sassy girl.” She followed Gladys to the door, then turned and winked. “Give that boy a kiss for me, ya hear?”

“For me too,” Gladys called, her giggle echoing down the hall.

Bobbie Sue winked and closed the door, leaving Katie with a smile on her lips. She hummed to herself as she made a half pot of double-strong coffee – as stout as she liked since no one was there to complain – then returned to her desk to finish the report. The office was so quiet with everyone gone and ice-frosted windows to block out the street noise, but Katie didn’t mind as she typed away. The rattle of the radiator and the purring of the coffeepot almost relaxed her, which was something she needed as she waited for Parker. The dinner with Luke before Parker had left town had been strained, although Katie was certain that she and Luke had played their parts well. She stared at some of Carmichael’s unreadable notes and frowned, her face squinted in thought. True, Parker had seemed rather quiet, but then, Parker had always been the quiet one.

Hadn’t he?

A few moments later, the coffeepot spit and steamed, indicating the cycle was through, and Katie rose with the same unease she’d been wrestling with all day. Feeling somewhat stifled, she pushed the sleeves of her sweater up and poured a cup of coffee. Not unease over Luke – no, after their dinner out, that hurt had been pushed aside to focus on Parker, she and Luke determined he would never know the pain that festered in their hearts. Luke had been right – she had the mettle to see this through, to say “I do” to Parker when it should have been Luke by her side. She took a quick sip of the steaming liquid and returned to her desk, her resolve as strong and hot as the coffee that coated her throat. And somehow she knew – as sure as the diamond that glittered on her hand – that the power of prayer and that of Parker’s love would transform her . . . into the wife Parker Riley truly deserved.

The door creaked open, and she looked up, a smile tilting her lips at the sight of the man who would be her husband. She rose to her feet and hurried to where he stood, a suitcase in his hand. “All right, this settles it – you are never going anywhere without me again. Do you have any idea how much I missed you, Parker Riley?” She stood on tiptoe to brush her lips against his.

“I missed you too, Katie,” he whispered, his eyes worn and tired.

She pressed a hand to his cheek. “You look exhausted. Didn’t you sleep well?”

His hand was cold from the weather as it covered hers, pressing it against his bristled jaw. “No, not really. Too much on my mind.”

She reached up to kiss him again with a tease in her tone. “I suppose now you’re going to tell me you’re having second thoughts about marrying me.”

He didn’t answer, and she took his hand. “Parker?”

A lump shifted in his throat as he sandwiched his palm over hers. “I am, Katie.”

The air locked in her throat and she stared, not willing to hear the rest of this conversation. She hurried to her desk to pull a swatchbook of fabric from her top drawer. “Look, I found the perfect material to recover that old sofa Mother and Father are giving us – ”

The serious brown eyes, usually so calm and tender, now held the same look of grief as when Betty had died. “It’s no good, Katie . . . ,” he whispered.

She blinked, denial thickening in her throat. “Well, I know it’s a bit busy – ”

“No,” he said in a voice that lanced her heart. “Not the swatch . . . us.”

Her legs buckled and she sagged against the desk, heart pounding in her throat. When she found her voice, it was little more than a croak. “What are you saying, Parker?”

He moved forward with a firm bent to his jaw that she seldom ever saw. Without saying a word, he took his coat off and placed it on her desk and his suitcase on the floor, then looked up, his eyes pools of pain. The wind had wreaked havoc with him, ruffling that soft, sandy hair he tried so hard to keep combed, and he wore the stylish jacket she’d picked out, the tweed one that she loved. He was several feet away, but she could still smell the familiar scent of Bay Rum, and she closed her eyes, trembling at the prospect of losing this man that she loved.

Her eyes flinched open when his hands caressed her arms. “Katie, please forgive me, but I’ve prayed about this, and I feel our marriage would be a mistake.”

Her eyelids flickered and closed as she swayed on her feet. He steadied her, hands clasped to her arms, and she felt the tender strokes of his thumbs as they grazed against her skin. Tears stung beneath her lids, and her breathing was shallow when she finally spoke. “No, Parker, please – don’t do this. I love you.”

His voice was as stricken as hers. “I love you too, Katie – I love your strength and your stubbornness and your passion for the things you believe in. But it’s those same things I love in you that have taught me that I’m not being fair to you.”

“Parker, no!” A sob broke from her throat as she opened her eyes. She clutched him, tears welling. “You just got back from a grueling trip – you’re tired and need to rest.”

“Actually, Katie, I returned early . . . and have been home several days now, thinking, praying . . .”

She stared, her eyes glazed with shock. “You’ve been home? And you didn’t call?” Her voice was frail and reedy, matching the disbelief in her mind. She glanced at the suitcase on the floor. “But your suitcase . . . ,” she whispered.

He looked away. “I’m leaving again . . . this time for good.”

She wavered, unsteady as the blood rushed from her face. He blurred before her in a wash of tears. “Parker, I love you and I beg you – don’t do this, please.”

He caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb, his calm eyes staring back with a sheen of tears. “Hear me out, Katie, please. After college, the desire of my heart was to serve God in the purest capacity possible. I knew deep in my soul that I had a calling, a vocation to live for him and only him. My father never understood that, of course, nor would he tolerate it.” He drew in a deep breath, his fingers splayed against the side of her head. They threaded into her hair, and her eyes drifted closed again, memorizing every detail of this man she’d grown to love. “And being the dutiful son he expected me to be, I did what he wanted – I became a lawyer.”