A Hope Remembered (27 page)

She’d come to England, lost and grieving, with the hope of slipping into this new life largely unnoticed. What she’d discovered instead was that she didn’t want to live isolated and wholly independent anymore. She needed others, just as they hopefully had need of her. Not only had she found a new family in this small valley, a family which included the villagers and a man she loved with all her heart, but she’d found herself, too.

“Good morning, Mr. Martin.” She gave him her most beguiling smile, in the event he’d been told not to allow her admittance. “I need to speak with Sir Edward.”

“Is he expecting you?”

“I believe he’ll want to hear what I have to say.”

The butler eyed her hat and dress, then to her surprise, he stepped back. “Come in, Miss Lewis. Sir Edward is in the library.”

She stepped inside and waited for him to shut the door. Here in this entryway she’d first seen Colin, looking so dashing in his dinner suit. Her gaze wandered to the grand staircase. Was he awake yet?

“This way,” the butler said.

Nora followed him farther into the house to a set of closed double doors. The butler knocked softly and entered. The murmur of conversation reached Nora’s ears.

“He will see you,” the butler announced as he exited the room. He motioned Nora forward.

She straightened her shoulders and walked through the doorway. Nearly every wall, except the ones with large windows, held bookcases filled to capacity. Across the room Sir Edward sat at a long desk. When the door clicked shut behind her, he stood.

“Miss Lewis. Have a seat.” He motioned to a small couch opposite his desk.

Nora walked over and sat down. “Thank you.”

He resumed his seat and folded his hands on top of the desk.

“I’m here about your business offer, Sir Edward.” When he didn’t respond, Nora shifted her weight on the couch. “After a considerable amount of thought, I’ve decided…” She wet her dry lips, reminding herself she was doing this for Colin. “I’ve decided to sell my property to you.”

“I see.” His expression remained indifferent.

Nora plucked at an errant thread on her dress. The conversation wasn’t going at all as she’d imagined. Why wasn’t the man more excited at finally having her land? “I’ll need to find another place to live first, but then we can make the needed arrangements—”

“I’m afraid that won’t be necessary, Miss Lewis.” He brandished a pen and tapped it against the desk. “You see, I no longer have need of your property.”

“I’m sorry?” She shook her head, unsure she’d heard him right. “I don’t understand. Are you still planning on building your hotel?”

Sir Edward nodded. “I am.”

“But you don’t need my land anymore?”

“Quite right.”

Had she missed something? “Are you using your home in Scotland then?”

“No. My son has decided to put that to use as a temporary home for soldiers recovering from the war.”

“Oh…how wonderful.” So Colin had found his way to help at last. Which meant he would be gone soon, to Scotland. Perhaps she could assist in some way from here, if he no longer cared for her. She very much liked the idea of helping soldiers who, unlike Tom and Christian, had survived the war but were still suffering.

“May I ask where you plan to build your hotel then?” she asked, still confused.

“Colin has graciously given up the back lawn, so we can build it there.”

Nora sank back against the couch, her thoughts awhirl. Colin wouldn’t give up the place where he landed his plane, unless…Her gaze jerked from the carpet to Sir Edward’s face. The tiniest bit of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth.

“My son found a way to honor his duty—and his heart. Unlike his father, all those years ago.” Sir Edward rested his elbows on the chair arms, his smile deepening. “Then again, perhaps my decision back then wasn’t so injudicious as it seemed to some. Since it has led to the happiness of more than one couple. Wouldn’t you agree, Miss Lewis?”

Colin still loved her, enough to give up flying so she could keep her home. The realization drove her to her feet. “May I see him, please? I need to thank him. And there are other things that need to be said…” She let her voice trail off at the sudden return of Sir Edward’s somber countenance.

“He’s not here.”

The finality with which he said it snuffed Nora’s elation as quickly as a candle in a breeze. “Has he gone flying?”

“He has, but he won’t be back for some time. He’s gone to stay with Lady Sophia’s family near London.” Nora’s knees gave way and she dropped back onto the couch. “I imagine he’ll be there for a few weeks, perhaps longer. It all depends.”

She knew exactly what it depended on—how well Colin came to like Lady Sophia. While Nora didn’t think he favored the heiress, she was beginning to see how quickly things could alter in a week’s time.

“I’m sorry,” Sir Edward said, his tone surprisingly genuine.

“You disapprove of him going?” Nora couldn’t stop the question from slipping out. She’d been so certain Colin’s father wouldn’t approve of them, and yet he seemed nearly as sad as she at the news of Colin spending time with the earl’s daughter.

He fiddled with the pen in his hand. “I would have gladly welcomed such a thing before this week. But now…” He lifted his eyes to hers. Nora saw only sincerity in their blue depths. “I want him happy, Miss Lewis. Will he find that with Lady Sophia? Perhaps. Although I thought, before he left this morning, that he may have found such happiness closer to home.”

Nora recognized the meaning behind his carefully crafted words. If Colin had chosen her, Sir Edward would not have put up a fight. But both their revelations had come too late. Colin was already gone, and with him, her chance to make things right.

She climbed to her feet once again and held out her hand to Sir Edward. “Thank you, sir.”

“For what?” He stood and clasped her hand.

“For allowing me the chance to know your son.” Her voice broke and she hurried to clear her throat so she could continue. “Whatever the reason, at first, his friendship made being here much easier. He’s an exceptional person, and I hope you’ll be proud of him.”

“I am.” He lowered his hand. “And I owe you some appreciation as well.”

“I don’t know what for.”

“Because Colin was…well, a bit lost before you came here, Miss Lewis. Befriending you appears to be the best thing he could have done, in finding himself and his place here.”

Nora tipped her head in acknowledgment. Tears stung her eyes. If she didn’t leave soon, she’d fall into a weeping mess before the baronet. “Good day, Sir Edward.”

“Good day, Miss Lewis. Shall I have Martin escort you to the door?”

“No. I’ll see myself out.”

She made it down the hall to the front doors before the moisture in her eyes could no longer be checked. Tears leaked down her face as she fled outside and down the gravel drive. The sunny day mocked the pain splitting her heart in two. Why couldn’t it be gray and rainy? That sort of weather wouldn’t be such an affront to the regret inside her. If only she hadn’t been so stubborn in refusing to talk to Colin.

She neared her lane, but the thought of returning to the quiet cottage, even with Phoebe around, was unbearable. Alone, there would be no escape from the despair of her loss. But she also loathed the idea of going into the village, or to Bess’s, and making small talk when her world had been turned upside down—again.

Where to go? Nora twisted in a circle, taking in the lake and the mountains. The valley felt suddenly too small and confining. She needed to go somewhere with open space and few people. The memory of such a place slipped into her mind—Brougham Castle. She could explore the ruins in the sunshine, in a place where she and Colin had been happy.

Nora hurried up the lane to the cottage to collect her purse and some money for the train fare. It would be a long trek to the castle, but she didn’t care if it took all day. However silly or irrational her plan, at least she had something to do and she wouldn’t be swayed from doing it.

A
fter setting out bowls of food and water for Phoebe, Nora set off for the long walk to the train station. She had to go through Larksbeck first, though she feared someone would see her and want to talk. Thankfully luck was on her side, and she managed to get beyond the village without incident. The sun seeped through her dress, making her warm. Thankfully she had her hat.

By the time she reached the station, she felt hot and dizzy. Nora purchased a ticket and dropped onto a bench outside to wait for the train. If only she’d eaten more than a few biscuits this morning. She fanned her flushed face with her hat and watched the people around her.

Wealthy guests to Elmthwaite Hall would arrive here, much like the elegantly dressed family standing near her bench. The couple were exclaiming over the town and the mountains, while their two boys chased themselves around their mound of luggage. Nora could understand their awe at the beauty of the Lake District. Surely there would be plenty of people who would want to take advantage of the Ashbys’ hotel.

Could she remain living near the estate and Colin, if he brought Lady Sophia back as his wife? The idea cut deep enough that she brought a hand to her throat. Maybe they’d move to Scotland to oversee the home for soldiers and she would be free to continue her life here, alone.

“Are you all right, miss?”

Nora looked up. The mother of the two boys joined Nora on the bench. “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”

“You look as warm as I feel.” The lady had friendly brown eyes. “Charles?” she called to her husband. “Would you and the boys be so kind as to procure some refreshment for us and this American young lady here?”

“You don’t have to—”

“It will mean a moment’s peace,” she said with an impish smile. “My boys need to stretch their legs after being on the train all the way from London and I need a little quiet.” Her husband, with the boys in tow, moved away from the station.

“Do you live here?” she asked Nora.

“No, I’m from…” Nora nearly finished with saying she came from Iowa, but that didn’t feel right anymore. “I actually live in a village south of here. It’s called Larksbeck.”

“Have you lived there long?”

“Only a few months,” Nora said with a laugh. “But it’s home.” The words were out before she could analyze them, but they rang true to her heart. Larksbeck was home. No matter what happened with Colin and his future bride, she couldn’t leave the village.

They fell into companionable silence until the woman’s husband returned with some pastries and peppermint sticks. Nora accepted a pastry, though she declined the candy. The little bit of food in her stomach did much to revive her stamina. She thanked the couple several times for their kindness and wished them a pleasant holiday.

Her train arrived shortly after and Nora stood to board. A thought had her hurrying over to the family who were manning their luggage again. “If you decide to return to the Lake District next year, I know the perfect place to stay. There’s a hotel being built beside Elmthwaite Hall near Larksbeck, and it will be brand-new next year.”

They thanked her for the information and Nora climbed onto the train, feeling pleased with herself for possibly securing some of the hotel’s first guests. She did want the place to succeed, if only for Colin. She settled into her cushioned seat. Once the train began moving and her ticket had been collected, she shut her eyes and allowed herself to doze.

The announcement for her stop penetrated Nora’s sleepy mind. She sat up as the train pulled to a stop at the station and she disembarked. With some food and sleep, she felt ready for the last part of her journey—the long walk to the castle. She headed out of the city limits, trading shops and side-by-side housing for farms and fields. Perhaps when she returned in a few hours, she might wander through some of the stores. She kept close to the river as she walked since she knew it ran directly alongside Brougham Castle.

Just when her feet were beginning to feel sore, she spotted the topmost tower of the castle above the trees. She was close.

Nora crossed the bridge to the east side of the castle and climbed the small hill toward the ruins. A few sheep grazed nearby. They lifted their heads at her approach, but they soon returned to their eating. She could see no other visitors about the place.

The half-crumbled walls were as intriguing and beautiful as they’d been the other week when she and Colin had flown here. Nora entered the tunnel where they’d sought protection from the rain. She stopped to run her fingers over the rough stone, remembering Colin’s kiss in this very spot. It was that day she’d realized how much she was falling in love with him.

She walked down the tunnel, the click of her shoes echoing off the ancient walls. At the other end, Colin had told her the history of the castle while she’d basked in his strong embrace. She peered out at the courtyard, a slow ache beginning in her heart. Perhaps this had been a terrible idea. She’d come seeking peace and closure, not torture from sweet memories she’d never experience again.

No longer excited at the prospect of lingering, Nora decided to take in the view from the third floor before she walked back to the city and the train. She left the tunnel the way she’d come and circled the ruins to reenter near the winding staircase. As she reached the stairs, the thud of descending footsteps filled the air. Nora paused. She wasn’t alone after all—someone else had come to admire the castle.

She retreated to the other side of the walled room, away from the stairs, to allow the other person to come down before she headed up. Her moment at the top needed to be hers alone.

Nora stared at the moss-covered walls rising three floors above her. She tried to visualize what they might have looked like in Lady Anne Clifford’s day, with ceilings and rooms and furniture.

The footsteps sounded closer, no longer near the top of the staircase. Nora moved toward a wall where a fireplace appeared to have been. She ran her hand over some of the charred stones. What sort of events, joyful and sorrowful, had this hearth witnessed? She could no longer hear the other person’s footfalls. Had he or she slipped away unnoticed, anxious for some privacy, too?

Ready to climb to the top, she turned toward the stairs and froze. A figure stood in the shadows, but it wasn’t his presence that caused her heart to skip several beats. It was the cap and goggles dangling from one hand.

“Colin?” she whispered, the name barely making it out of her suddenly dry throat.

She squeezed her eyes shut, certain she was imagining things. How foolish she’d feel when she opened them again to find a complete stranger standing there.

“Nora.”

The familiar voice washed over her like gentle rain. Her eyes flew open as he emerged from the staircase. He was dressed in his flying jacket and trousers and looked every bit as handsome as he had the night of the party. Had it really been a whole week since she’d seen him last? It felt more like a lifetime.

With measured steps he walked toward her, but he came to a stop several feet away. His eyes watched her intently, his lips in a tight line. Nora realized she was holding her breath. She let it out in a quiet whoosh, which somehow loosened her tongue enough to speak. “I thought you were on your way to London.”

“I was—I am. The plane is sitting not far from here.”

He was still leaving.

“How did you get here?” he asked.

“I walked and rode the train.” She couldn’t seem to collect enough air to breathe properly. Her earlier dizziness threatened to engulf her. She put a hand to the stones next to her to keep from swaying. At once, Colin was beside her, gripping her elbow. His nearness, and warm touch, after such a long absence made the shaky feeling worse.

“You need to sit down.” He led her to a line of stones that must have formed a wall at one point. Nora sat. To her disappointment, Colin released her arm at once. He set down his flying gear but remained standing. “You’re clearly not well. Why did you come all the way out here?”

A twinge of anger rose inside her at his reprimand. He was the one who’d left without saying good-bye.
Of course, he probably thought you’d turn him away
, her mind scolded. “I met with your father this morning, to tell him he could have my property. But apparently, he received a better offer.”

Colin rested one boot on the stone in front of him, his hands in their customary spot inside his pockets. “I didn’t see the need for your land, when there was a perfectly fine spot near the house that we could use.”

How could she break through the cautiousness he wore around him like a shield? She tasted bitter regret in her mouth at the realization of how much she’d hurt him. “I didn’t get…” She tried again. “I didn’t take the chance to thank you the other day, for saving my life.”

His shoulders lifted in a shrug, his gaze taking in everything but her. “It was God who helped me see you through the clouds that day. The credit ought to go to Him.”

Nora stared at him, disbelief rippling through her. Colin’s tone no longer sounded doubtful or angry at the mention of God. “What happened?”

He remained silent, long enough that she thought he wouldn’t answer, but he finally spoke again. “I couldn’t see anything on the ground because of the clouds, so I prayed.” Beneath his indifferent tone, Nora sensed the wonder and faith the experience had inspired in him. “It wasn’t a minute later that the clouds started to disappear. Then I spotted you.”

Shame burned her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Colin. I was angry and hurt, and I thought you’d committed those acts of vandalism. But I had no right to be horrid.”

“You thought I did those things?” His eyes swung to meet hers. The surprise and pain in them twisted Nora’s heart all the more.

“I know I had no proof, but I couldn’t think of who else wanted me gone. And then Jack”—she blew out another sigh at the memory of her cousin’s confession—“admitted it was him.”

“Jack?” Colin straightened.

“He hid Phoebe, too. That’s why I couldn’t find her on the fell.”

His jaw visibly tightened. “I ought to fly back there and teach him a lesson.”

“No.” Nora set down her purse and hat and slowly got to her feet. “It was me who needed the lesson. I realized the moment Jack told me what he’d done that I wasn’t angry with you anymore—for going along with your father’s plan.” She took a wary step toward him. “I never should have refused to see you.”

Colin didn’t speak, just watched her. Nora clasped and unclasped her hands. The air between them still felt heavy with unsaid hurt and remorse. Was there any way to make things right before he left?

“Your father told me of your plan to turn Brideshall into a sort of home for soldiers who need extra help.” She wet her lips and plunged on despite his continued silence. “I think it’s a wonderful idea, Colin. Hopefully a good many of them can begin to heal in a place I imagine must be just as beautiful as this one. I would love to help if I can.”

“That may be a possibility.” A quizzical light entered his eyes, but he made no further comment.

“I…um…heard you’re going to visit Lady Sophia and her family.”

“Yes. They expected me this evening.”

Nora gave a friendly nod, though hearing the news from Colin’s own lips made it ten times harder to bear. Maybe it would’ve been better if she hadn’t come to the castle at all, but now that Colin was here, she couldn’t leave without saying everything she needed to. Including telling him the idea she’d been pondering most of the day.

“I was wrong, Colin, about a great many things. I know that now. Whatever your reasons for being my friend, I’m grateful.” She pressed her lips together to keep from crying. She had to finish. “Which is why I want you to take my land and use it for a runway, for your plane. Please don’t give up flying. Not on my account.”

He studied her openly. “What would you do?”

It was her turn to shrug. She hadn’t sorted out every detail yet. “I could combine my sheep with the Tuttles’. That way I could still live in the cottage, but farm with them.”

“Is that what you want?”

The tears were getting harder to hold back. “If it means you get to keep flying.” She lifted her chin, though it trembled. “I want you to be happy, Colin. You are and always will be my friend.” She swallowed hard and forced out her next words. “That is, if Lady Sophia approves.”

His expression had softened during her impassioned speech. He stepped toward her as she finished, closing the distance between them. “Why should we care what Lady Sophia thinks?” He brought his thumb to her chin and stroked the skin there. Nora’s pulse thrummed as fast as the train’s wheels earlier, especially when his finger brushed her lips. “You still didn’t answer my earlier question. Why did you come here, Nora?”

“Because…” A tear slid down her cheek. Colin gently skimmed it away with his finger, his dark eyes intent on her face. The tenderness in his look made her want to cry all the harder. How could she let him go? “I came because I love you. And while I want you happy, Colin, even if that means you choose Lady Sophia…” Another tear escaped her stinging eyes. “I suppose I foolishly held out hope you might still choose to be happy…with me.”

Without a word, Colin bent to kiss away the lingering tear from her cheek. Nora shut her eyes and leaned into his touch. How she’d missed him this last week. Then his lips were moving softly down her skin until they found her mouth.

A lightning bolt of feeling catapulted through Nora’s stomach at his kiss. Her heart beat wildly in her throat. His other hand clasped her waist firmly but affectionately, drawing her closer. Nora cupped his face between her hands and fervently kissed him back. How wonderful and familiar his clean-shaven jaw felt beneath her fingers. When he eased back several heartbeats later, Nora felt faint again, but this time it was a wonderful, dizzy kind of feeling.

“You haven’t asked why I’m here,” he said, his voice low.

“Why are you here?”

“I didn’t plan on flying this way, but somehow I ended up in this direction.” He captured a lock of her hair between his fingers and began to play with it. “The closer I came to the castle, the more I knew I couldn’t visit Lady Sophia. It would give her the wrong idea. So I landed and sent her a telegram informing her I wouldn’t be coming after all. Then I flew here.”