A Heart Not Easily Broken (The Butterfly Memoirs) (31 page)

Another wave of guilt hit me. “Honestly, Kaity, I didn’t want you to keep it from Yasmine. It wouldn’t have been fair to you. I’m sorry.”

She reached over and gripped my hand. “And you were pregnant?”

I sighed. “I don’t know, I could have been. Before Brian left we had a moment…and well, both of us were willing to accept the consequences. The next night Javan raped me and didn’t use protection. It scared me. I thought about what would happen if I ended up pregnant and the baby was his instead of Brian’s. I couldn’t live with that, so I did what I had to do. And I hate myself for it.”

Her grip tightened. “God, Ebony, I am so sorry. Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

“What I need is to stop Brian from doing something stupid and destroying his career. I’ve got to get to him. I need him.”

“I’m gonna call the police.” She placed the call with her free hand.

The lights of the hotel loomed in the distance. I released her hand to grip the wheel and pushed the pedal to the floor.

*  *  *  *

“What the fuck, man!” Javan scrambled naked from the bed and reached for his pants. He hopped around on one leg to get them on. Only the king-sized bed separated us.

My mind went all over the place taking everything in. The fact Yasmine gripped my arm and shouted at me was insignificant to the hum of anger that buzzed in my ear.

I took one look at the bed and felt sick to my stomach.

This was the same room where Ebony and I spent the weekend. The room she cried in the moment I opened the door.

And then it hit me, a full shot to the chest.

She’d made love to me after she was raped.

How was that even possible? How could she want to be with me after that violent act? After having her will of what happened to her body stripped from her?

The hatred for the man I considered my friend for the past ten years blazed out of control. The logical part of my brain clicked off and went primal.

I scrambled across the bed, grabbed him, and threw him against the wall with force I prayed felt twenty times worse than what he’d done to Ebony. I held him in place and with my free arm, reached back as far as I could and pounded his face.

“Brian! Oh, my God! Stop, you’re hurting him!” Yasmine grabbed my fisted arm and put her full weight on it, slowing me down.

“You son of a bitch! How could you do that to her? Why?” I got a few more licks in and a kick to his groin before Yasmine managed to knock me off balance.

Javan slipped out of my grasp and slid down the wall, groaning and holding his sack. It wouldn’t be long before his jaw, eye, and lips were black and blue. The sight of blood pouring out of his nose and cut lip gave me a small amount of satisfaction, but it wasn’t even close to what I wanted to do.

“Oh, no, Javan, baby…” Yasmine pushed past me, ripping the sheet from the bed to blot the blood running down his face. “Brian, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Whatever she said, the bitch is lying,” he spat out along with blood.

“Call her bitch one more time and you’ll be picking teeth off the floor,” I growled while I paced the room. I wanted to push Yasmine out of the way and get to him again, but there was no way I’d put my hands on her.

“What the hell is going on?” she shouted.

“Brian’s woman is a liar.” Javan struggled to get up.

Yasmine looked at both of us in confusion. “Ebony? What are you talking about?” When Javan didn’t supply an answer, she turned to me.

“He raped her.”  Saying the words again shot a pain to my stomach and chest. Anger like I never felt before flared before my eyes. I wanted to do nothing more than grab Javan’s throat and keep him from breathing.

Yasmine’s eyes flashed in disbelief.

Javan moved to get up again.

“Sit your ass back down before I put it down for good,” I warned.

Yasmine turned to him, an expression of confusion on her face.

“Your girl is a ‘ho. She wanted me to”

I stepped over to give him another helping of personal justice, but Yasmine beat me to it by giving him something akin to a bitch slap. His head spun around, dreads swinging through the air as his head hit the wall. I wanted to punch his teeth in, but her slap sufficed for now. “Don’t talk about her like that. Why would Brian burst in here and say that? Did you rape her?” she asked.

I could not see her face, but her voice sounded pained.

“Because the bitch”

Yasmine’s hand shot out again, but this time he caught it and twisted her wrist. She yelled in pain.

“Don’t ever hit me again, bitch,” Javan growled.

I got in his face in two strides. “Let her go,” I said through gritted teeth.

My hands fisted in a handful of his dreads as I snatched him up off the ground, thankful for the excuse to exact my revenge. He released her, shoving her away; she stumbled to the floor. Javan swung at me, his fist connected with my face and doubled back for my gut. Adrenaline pumped through my veins; I didn’t feel a thing.

His next swing missed as I dodged, leaned down, and rammed my head into his chest. I wrapped my hands around his waist and slammed him back into the wall. He pounded my back while I retaliated, throwing punch after punch into his gut.

“Brian!”

In the midst of the yelling, grunting, and crashing of hotel furniture as we fought, Ebony’s voice rang crystal clear in the room. I managed to turn my head enough to see her standing horrified in the doorway with Kaitlyn on her heels.

Chapter 38

The sight before me made my heart stop.

Brian grappled in what looked like a fight to the death. Javan pounded his fist into Brian’s back while he punched him repeatedly. Blood smeared them, the sheets, and the wall.

Yasmine lay a few feet away, shock, horror, and confusion in her eyes. She rubbed her wrist, tears running down her face.

“Brian, stop, baby, please. The police are on the way.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled while trying to avoid Javan’s flying fist. I succeeded with Kaitlyn’s help.

Brian panted heavily as I guided him to the other side of the room, anxious to put as much space between them before someone seriously got injured.

“Brian, look at me, please, you’ve got to calm down,” I pleaded.

“Let me go,” he ground out through clenched teeth as he pulled roughly at my hands.

His eyes remained focused on his target. Blood ran from his cut lip.

“Stop, baby, please. You’ve done it, you beat his ass, now please stop…” Tears were in my eyes and voice. I held on tight, refusing to let him go.

His eyes dropped down and focused on me. I could tell the moment reason clicked back in, because his eyes softened, he pulled me close, and held tight.

“Ebony, what the hell is going on? I don’t understand.” Yasmine managed to stand, clutching at the robe she wore. Her eyes shifted wildly around the room as she put distance between herself and everyone else.

Kaitlyn went to her side and put her arms around her shoulders in support.

My heart ached more than I ever imagined possible. The next words uttered from my mouth were going to devastate her already damaged heart.

“It’s true. Javan raped me.”

Yasmine’s eyes closed, her jaw clenched and unclenched in time with her fist. “When?”

“The bitch is” Javan spat out, but stopped short the moment Brian pushed me aside to get to him.

“No, Brian, that’s enough,” I begged. He looked down at me and resumed his hold. Satisfied he would stay put, I turned and faced her. I looked her directly in the eye so she knew what I said to be true.

“It happened after Brian left town. I left my badge in his room. Brian knew I was going over to get it because he called Javan and told him to let me in. When I tried to leave, he dragged me into his room and”

“Enough,” Yasmine said through gritted teeth. She opened her eyes and tears poured down her face.

“She’s tellin’ the truth, Yaz. Brian didn’t believe her either,” Kaitlyn confirmed.

“I didn’t believe her until I found evidence that proved what she said.” His voice was heavy with regret. “He tried to cover his ass by suggesting Ebony cheated on me.”

Yasmine looked away and shook her head. “I know he’s lying,” her voice waivered. “I remember the night she came home different. I thought she was upset because you left…” Tear-stained eyes zeroed in on me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The ache in her eyes broke my heart. Why did I let things get this bad? She would not have to deal with this pain and betrayal if it wasn’t for me. I wasn’t the only one affected by Javan’s actions. I may have taken the physical brunt, but it was impossible to protect Yasmine from emotional rape.

The realization of my decision shook me to the core. If it wasn’t for Brian’s physical support, I would have dropped to my knees.

“Ebony didn’t tell anyone. She didn’t want you to get hurt,” Kaitlyn supplied.

The room remained silent until Yasmine’s outburst.

“Why?” She directed her rage at Javan. “Wasn’t I enough for you? I thought you were happy with me. You said…you said…” Yasmine stopped speaking, her voice gone to tears.

Javan didn’t say a word, only stared past her and everyone else in the room.

“He’s a manipulative son of a bitch, that’s why. He played the same crap on women he dated in college. He played all of us. I should have known.” Brian shook his head in disappointment. “That’s why he’s such a great head doctor.”

I forgot Javan was a psychologist. He knew exactly how to convince me to stay silent and make Brian believe him.

And how to keep Yasmine preoccupied.

We were still speculating this fact when the police arrived. They took my statement before arresting Javan.

 Brian was arrested for assault. The police told me I would be able to bail him out of jail the next day. I dreaded having to call his parents to get help raising bail money.

The officer allowed him to hold me before placing him in handcuffs.

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before. I promise I’ll never doubt you again,” Brian whispered.

“It’s okay. I should have told you. I’ll never keep a secret from you again.”

We kissed and parted when the officer told him it was time to go.

When Javan and Brian disappeared around the corner, I faced my friends.

“Guys, I don’t know how to say I’m sorry…Yasmine…”

Yasmine stared at me for a moment, her arms still tightly wrapped around her body as if trying to hold herself together. The pain on her face was too much to bear.

After a moment she turned, gathered her clothes from the floor and walked to the bathroom. The door shut silently behind her.

Kaitlyn stepped over and reached to dry the tears falling down my face. “Just give her some time.”

I nodded and stared at the closed door.

Despite the fact my relationship with Brian was still intact; my best friend had found nothing but more heartache.

Because of me.

Would she ever be able to forgive me for keeping the truth from her?

Despite my actions, nothing Javan told her had been real. I’d known Yasmine long enough to know the lock Javan had loosened would only be tighter now. The next man who found his way into her life, the one meant to be with her, would have to work hard to win her jaded heart.

Kaitlyn and I turned and watched as the bathroom door opened and Yasmine emerged. Her light skin complexion had paled; the edges of her long hair were wet, along with her face as if she’d doused herself with water. Her gray eyes were heavy, rimmed in red. Her attention strayed over to the bed and wall before her eyes closed tight.

“Yasmine…” I paused, unsure of what to say.

She held up a hand. After a moment, her eyes opened and locked on me.

“Ebony, there is nothing you can say to explain why he did what he did. I should have known something was wrong.” She sighed. “I think I did know, but I was too wrapped up in my relationship to be the friend you needed. You should have come to me, Ebony. I may not have liked what you said, but I would have believed you.”

I nodded as a fresh wave of tears fell. “You’re  right, I should have said something. All of this,” I waived my hands around the room absently, “is my fault. I’ll find a way to pay for this.”

Yasmine shook her head, a small hint of a smile emerged as she wiped a tear. “The hotel has insurance. Just promise me one thing?”

“What?”

“Never lie to me,” she pointed at Kaitlyn, “us ever again. If there’s a problem you tell us. That’s what friends are for.”

“Never,” I said, my voice sure. Never would I allow something like this to tear apart my friendship with the ones I loved. It wasn’t worth the cost.

“Come on, guys, let’s go home,” Kaitlyn said.

Yasmine and I stood staring at one another for a moment longer before she opened her arms. I willingly accepted the gesture.

She hugged me tightly. “You’re still my girl.”

“So are you,” I said, hugging her back.

“Oh great, leave out the white girl,” Kaitlyn threw her hands up in mock exasperation.

“Get over here,” Yasmine and I said in unison.

A group hug brought us together.

I peered over their shoulders at the room that had once been filled with love and roses, but now boasted devastation.

And yet, another love remained.

The man who loved me had stood up for me here.

The love of my friends withstood what I felt would end our relationship. 

I would never test the extent of the relationships of the ones I loved again. Love and trust were what would protect the ones I held dear. And honesty. Honesty was just as important.

Secrets should be avoided at all cost.

I gathered my friends and held them close to my heart.

Arm in arm, we went home.

Epilogue

December – One month later

“What time did your parents say their flight would land?” Brian asked as we drove to our destination.

“They’ll be here at seven.” I still couldn’t believe my parents were flying to California. Over the years I’d gone back home to visit my entire family. My parents, on the other hand, hadn’t been out here since the day they dropped me off at college, seven and a half years ago. “I can’t wait for you guys to meet in person. A picture and talking over the phone doesn’t do you justice.”