A Headstrong Woman (9 page)

As soon as the service was over, Alexandria turned toward the buggy she had arrived in. She had no wish to be rude but was not up to greeting anyone at moment. Before she reached the wagon, one familiar face cut off her path.

“Alexandria, I’m so sorry. I rushed back from Jasper as soon as I heard,” Lane Wilson offered his condolences.

Alexandria managed a smile for her old school chum.

“Thanks, Lane.”

“Are you okay; do you need anything?” his brown eyes searched her face.

“I think I’m okay,” she tried to reassure him.

“You let me know if you need anything. I’ll let you go home to rest, Alexandria.”

“Thanks, Lane,” Alexandria resumed her path to the buggy and climbed up into the back seat to leave room for the others. Lilly came running and strained to climb in and Alexandria helped her up and into her lap. Lilly was finally letting her mother out of her sight but not far and not for long. It took a few minutes for the others to untangle themselves from the crowd and join Alexandria. As her mother and mother-in-law discussed what to reheat for lunch Alexandria let her tired muscles relax as she sank into the seat behind her. She had refused going to lay down the night before; she had not wanted to be alone. As a result she had dosed on and off but truly slept little.

They arrived at the ranch and everyone except Alexandria and Lilly alighted quickly. Alexandria was amazed at how weak she felt when she began collecting Lilly and herself to climb down. She was aware of conversation around her, the male and female voices blending together into one sound but not of the words being spoken. Lilly was lifted down and scurried toward the house as Alexandria accepted the proffered hand to step down. As soon as her feet met the ground she felt her legs turn to mush and found the ground rising rapidly to meet her. Two strong hands grabbed her by the elbows and steadied her. She blinked up at Mr. Stewart in confusion; the man seemed to be everywhere.

“I know you’ve barely slept in the past two days, have you ever eaten anything?” he demanded of her.

Alexandria frowned at him; she was trying to register his question.

“Never mind, that’s what I thought. I’m not off to a great start here,” he muttered.

Alexandria couldn’t for the life of her figure out what the man was going on about. He kept one of her elbows firmly in hand as he escorted her in after the others.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Morris, Mrs. Cannon, but she just nearly collapsed; I think she needs food and bed in that order,” Jonathon interrupted the ladies discussion about who was heating what dish.

Both women rushed to her side and seated her at the table.

“Thank you, Mr. Stewart, won’t you stay for lunch? You have been such a huge help here the last few days and my son wrote of you and your friendship to him often,” Dorothy invited.

“Thank you, Mrs. Morris, I would like that,” he nodded his agreement and moved to the table.

“I was hoping you could show us around tomorrow so we could see the state of things around here,” Clay addressed him as he indicated the seat beside him.

“That would be no problem, sir,” Jonathon assured him.

As soon as a plate was put in front of her, Alexandria started eating; she was surprised at how hungry she felt. She couldn’t remember the last time a meal had tasted so good though later she wouldn’t be able to remember what she’d eaten. One moment she was looking at her plate of food and the next it was blurring and tilting as gasps sounded around her.

“Come on,” Carolyn pulled on Alexandria’s arm to help her to her feet. Alexandria stood and allowed her mother and mother-in-law to help her to her room and into bed. The last thing Alexandria saw as her eyes slid closed was her mother gathering her discarded items.

***

Alexandria woke to find her mother again bustling around her room, this time laying out her clothing.

“Good morning,” her mother greeted her when she found her watching her.

“I slept all afternoon and night?” she asked in surprise.

“You did,” her mother answered, “feel better?”

“I do,” she said as she sat up and stretched. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and started dressing. “I’m starved.”

“Well come on; we’ll feed you,” her mom smiled.

Alexandria followed her mother to the kitchen and took a seat at the table. Lilly was already dressed and eating and none of the men were present.

“Where are Daddy and Nathaniel?” Alexandria queried before filling her mouth with eggs.

“They and Mr. Stewart are looking things over and assessing where the ranch is at currently,” Carolyn explained as she began washing the dishes the men had stacked by the sink.

“Nathaniel and I need to discuss some matters with you when he returns,” Janice informed her.

Alexandria nodded; the bite she had just taken settled in her stomach like a piece of lead. She would know soon enough what was to happen to her.

“Would you like some help packing up Eli’s things?” Carolyn offered.

“No, thanks, I can manage it on my own,” Alexandria assured her mother.

“Are you sure? It will be a big job,” Janice worried over her.

“I’m certain.”

Janice hesitated a moment; then, her face kind and compassionate, spoke. “I’m aware that things were not altogether as they should have been between you and my son. I know he had his own room, so if that is your concern, please don’t let that stop you from accepting help.”

Alexandria set down her fork, her eyes on her lap.

“There is no reason for you drop your head,” her mother-in-law sat down beside her and dropped her gaze to meet Alexandria‘s. “Eli wrote me of the mess he had made of things and how deeply he regretted that he had hurt you. He never let go of things easily, even when he was a child. For what it’s worth I really believe he was starting to.”

“Thanks, Janice,” Alexandria tried hard to smile. “I guess I could use some help,” she acknowledged.

“You finish eating and we’ll get started,” Janice offered.

Alexandria nodded and several minutes later was ready, at least she hoped she was ready to get started.

Entering his room and going through his things felt awkward, like an invasion; theirs had not been that kind of marriage. They started four piles, one for charity, one for trash that needed to be discarded, one for Lilly, and another of things Janice wanted. It saddened Alexandria to realize there was really nothing of his that meant something to her. No, she did have one thing he had given her; the hair combs, she realized with some relief.

“It’s depressing to see one’s life reduced to a series of piles,” Janice sighed as she sank to the edge of the bed.

“There was much more to his life than these things,” Alexandria reminded the woman.

“Thank you for reminding me,” the woman blinked back tears.

“I think that’s it. I’ll strip the bed for laundry day and have Clay pick up these things for charity later,” Carolyn mused as she eyed the room.

“I want to go ahead and carry this photo to Lilly’s room,” Alexandria stood and reached for the photo of Elijah and Martha on their wedding day. She entered the room and smiled as she watched Lilly “feed” her baby doll.

“I’m feeding my baby,” she announced.

“I see that,” Alexandria nodded and moved across the room to put the picture on the nightstand.

“What’s that?” Lilly abandoned her doll and clambered onto the bed.

“It’s a picture of your first mommy and your daddy on their wedding day,” Alexandria explained. Lilly, her small face crumpled in a frown, reached out and touched the glass over the photo. She then climbed into Alexandria’s lap and clung to her.

“I love you, Lilly,” Alexandria stroked the child’s back as she laid her head against Lilly’s.

“I love you too, Mama.”

“I can’t thank you enough for how wonderful you’ve been with Lilly,” Janice spoke from the doorway; Alexandria startled.

“I think I fell in love with her the very day she was born,” Alexandria admitted. “Mama was worried about Martha; she knew how sick she had been and stopped into deliver some soup and check in on everyone. Martha had Elijah bring us up to see Lilly.

“She was so small and delicate; her little eyelashes nearly disappeared against her creamy cheeks. I lost my heart right then. I looked for excuses to come and visit.”

“I wish I could have been here the day she was born,” Janice’s face was wistful.

“Was I real little?” Lilly leaned back to look at Alexandria with interest.

“You were tiny and your hair was so downy you almost couldn’t see it, like the finest spun silk. Your mama was so proud of you, she was as puffed up as old Mr. Peacock at Grandma and Grandpa’s farm when he goes to strutting around all full of himself.”

Her description made Lilly giggle.

“I growed.”

“Grew,” Alexandria corrected, “and, yes, you did. You thought you were quite big after you learned to walk; you decided you had to start climbing everything. I thought your poor mama was going to pull her hair out.”

“I’m so glad you were such good friends with Martha, Alexandria, it would break my heart if no one could remember her babyhood. I’m afraid that the general store kept us from more than a handful of visits. Most of my information is from letters,” Janice’s smile was sad.

“Martha was one of the kindest people I ever knew and Mama probably knows even more stories than I do. It is sad that some of those will be lost.”

“Or maybe not,” Carolyn spoke as she entered the room. “This was in the bottom of the chest of drawers. I decided to double check that they were empty and found this in the back.”

She handed Alexandria a book and she opened the pages. “It’s Martha’s diary! This should be kept for Lilly.”

“Definitely,” Janice nodded.

“I wonder if there were more.” Alexandria mused.

“Maybe, we can look around and see.”

“Can I play now, Mama?” Lilly was growing impatient with the new topic of conversation.

“Of course,” Alexandria kissed the top of her head and set her on her feet. She stood and the three women moved downstairs to have a cup of coffee.

“It looks warm but it is chilly!” Anna announced as she entered the back door with Michael.

“We took care of the necessary chores at home,” Michael assured his mother.

“Thank you, Son.”

“Welcome; I’m gonna go find the men,” he kissed his mom’s cheek before slipping back out the door.

“What have you all been doing?” Anna asked as they all seated themselves around the table.

“Going through Eli’s things,” Alexandria informed her.

Anna grimaced.

“Now that that’s done I’m not sure what comes next,” Janice admitted. The women hadn’t much more than started sipping their coffee than the men came spilling into the hall shedding coats and hats as they came.

“You have any more where that came from?” Clay nodded at his wife’s coffee.

“Of course, you all have a seat and I’ll get you some coffee and some cookies to go with it.” Carolyn rose and Janice and Alexandria rose with her.

“The only thing that sounds better than coffee is coffee
and
cookies,” Nathaniel commented as he seated himself beside his wife.

Janice grabbed the cookies and milk and sugar for the coffee while Alexandria and her mother filled and handed out cups of coffee.

“Things look to be in good shape around here,” Nathaniel commented before taking a drink of his coffee. “Which brings me to a matter of business, Alexandria. What exactly are you plans now?”

“I honestly don’t know; I guess I’m unsure what my options even are,” she admitted and forced her hands to still in her lap, rather than wringing them in anxiety.

“What about Lilly?” he queried as he watched her closely.

Alexandria clenched her hands in her lap and took a deep breath. “I’m only her step-mother; you’re her natural grandparents so I guess it’s your decision to make.”

“I’ve seen you with her and I know how deeply you love her, Alexandria; do wish to retain custody of her?” It was Janice who spoke now.

Alexandria felt tears spring to her eyes. “I’d like to, yes.”

“I would take her in a heartbeat if I didn’t see and know how much you mean to each other but I can and do and I can’t do that to either of you.” Janice looked on the verge of tears herself.

“Thank you,” it came out a whisper. “I,” Alexandria had to stop and clear her throat. “I couldn’t love her anymore if she were my own.” Alexandria accepted the handkerchief her father passed to her.

“You are her mother, Alexandria, birth alone does not a mother make; you have a mother’s heart and Lilly has made herself at home there and you in hers. We want visitation of course,” Janice informed her.

“Absolutely! I would never dream of keeping her from you,” Alexandria assured them.

“That brings us to the next bit of business then. I want you to know you have a home with us should you ever want it or need it,” Nathaniel informed her.