Dining With The Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook

Dining With The Doctor

The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook

Chris-Rachael Oseland

Copyright 2012 Chris-Rachael Oseland

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the author. Exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

This book is unofficial and unauthorized. It is not authorized, approved, or licensed by the BBC, BBC America,, BBC Worldwide, BBC Wales, or any branch of the British Broadcasting Company. Doctor Who is a registered trademark of the British Broadcasting Company.

ISBN:
978-1481153683

First Edition

Table of Contents

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

SERIES 1: LAST OF THE TIME LORDS

Nestene Consciousness  (S1, E1 - Rose)

The Last Human Fruit Leather  (S1, E2 - The End of the World)

Charles Dickens Own Christmas Punch (S1, E3 - The Unquiet Dead)

Slitheen Killing Beans on Toast  (S1, E4 - Aliens of London)

Slitheen Skin Suits  (S1, E5 - World War Three)

Banana Dalek (S1, E6 - Dalek)

Satellite 5 Mystery Takeout Noodles  (S1, E7 - The Long Game)

Pete Tyler’s Health Tonic (S1, E8 - Father’s Day)

Wartime Cheese and Potato Dumplings with Fried Spam Slices (S1E9 - 10  The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances)

Slitheen Eggs (S1E11 - Boom Town)

Big Brother House Bad Wolf Brand Human Chow Cookies (S1E12 - Bad Wolf)

The Mad Dalek Emperor’s All Seeing Eye (S1E13 - The Parting of the Ways)

SERIES 2: ROSE MEETS THE REGENERATION

The Doctor’s Hand (S2E1 - The Christmas Invasion)

New Earth Apple Grass Cocktail (S2E2 - New Earth)

Queen Victoria’s Nightcap (S2E3 - Tooth and Claw)

Deffry Vale School Chips with Krillitane Oil (S2E4 - School Reunion)

The Doctor’s Accidental Banana Daiquiri (S2E5 - The Girl in the Fireplace)

Cybus Brain Cleansing Cocktail (S2E6 - Rise of the Cybermen)

White Chocolate Cyberman Heads (S2E7 - The Age of Steel)

Coronation Chicken (S2E8 - The Idiot’s Lantern)

Chicken and Ood Soup (S2E9 - The Impossible Planet)

Black Hole Mezze (S2E10 - The Satan Pit)

L.I.N.D.A.’s Tardis Wellington (S2E11 - Love and Monsters)

2012 Olympic Shortbread Medallions (S2E12 - Fear Her)

Cyberman Ghosts (S2E13 - Army of Ghosts)

Fishy Daleks (S2E14 - Doomsday)

SERIES THREE: SMITH AND JONES

Huon Particle Cocktail (S3E1 - The Runaway Bride)

Moon Cake Pops (S3E2 - Smith and Jones)

Shakespearean Shooter Sandwich (S3E3 - The Shakespeare Code)

Kitty Nurse Kibble (S3E4 - Gridlock)

Extermination Loaf (S3E5 - Daleks in Manhattan)

Dalek Sec's Head (S6E6 - Evolution of the Daleks)

Lazarus Cocktail (S3E7 - The Lazarus Experiment)

Burnt Custard Sun (S3E8 - 42)

Scarecrow Soldiers (S3E9 - Human Nature)

Family of Blood(y Mary) (S3E10 - The Family of Blood)

Weeping Angel Wings (S3E11 - Blink)

Professor Yana’s Gluten Neutrino Map Binder (S3E12 - Utopia)

Cucumber Drums of Madness (S3E13 - The Sound of Drums)

Cantaloupe Toclafane (S3E14 - The Last of the Time Lords)

SERIES FOUR: THE DOCTOR-DONNA

Titanic 1st Class Menu Punch Romaine (S4E1 - Voyage of the Damned)

Adipose Herbed Butter (S4E2 - Partners in Crime)

Marble Circuits With Fire Dipping Sauce (S4E3 - The Fires of Pompeii)

Ood Mezze Plate (S4E4 - Planet of the Ood)

Sontaran Soldiers (S4E5 - The Sontaran Stratagem)

Clone Vat Cocktail (S4E6 - The Poison Sky)

Baked Hath Served over Black Beans & Topped with a Red and Green Cabbage Slaw. (S4E7 - The Doctor’s Daughter)

Timelord Cyanide Detox Platter (S4E8 - The Unicorn and the Wasp)

Vashta Nerada Detection Kit (S4E9 - Silence in the Library)

River Song (S4E10 - Forest of the Dead)

Sapphire Cliff Cocktail (S4E11 - Midnight)

Donna’s Time Beetle (S4E12 - Turn Left)

Dalek Invasion Ships (S4E13 - The Stolen Earth)

Dalek Caan’s Corn (S4E14 - Journey’s End)

Jackson Lake Cocktail (S4E15 - The Next Doctor)

Squash Stingrays (S4E16 - Planet of the Dead)

The Fizzy Waters of Mars Cocktail (S4E17 - The Waters of Mars)

The Master’s Drums (S4E18 - The End of Time)

SERIES 5: THE GIRL WHO WAITED

The New Doctor’s Rubbish Plate (S5E1 - The Eleventh Hour)

Bow Tie Pasta with Protesting Star Whale Brains (S5E2 - The Beast Below)

Open Faced Dalek Ironsides (S5E3 - Victory of the Daleks)

Irradiated Angels (S5E4 - The Time of Angels)

Angel Wing Cookies (S5E5 - Flesh and Stone)

Vampire Space Fish (S5E6 - The Vampires of Venice)

Ledweth’s Eknodine Pensioners (S5E7 - Amy’s Choice)

Silurian Hot House Salad with Lemon-Lime Vinaigrette (S5E8 - The Hungry Earth)

Cinnamon Pull Apart Crack in the Wall (S5E9 - Cold Blood)

Vincent’s Rustic Potatoes (S5E10 - Vincent and the Doctor)

The Doctor’s Omelet (S5E11 - The Lodger)

Rory the Roman's Farro Stew (S5E12 - The Pandorica Opens)

The Pond's Wedding Punch (S5E13 - The Big Bang)

Kazran’s Night Sky Fog Cups (S5E14 - A Christmas Carol)

SERIES SIX: HELLO, SWEETIE

The Doctor’s Last Picnic (S6E1 - The Impossible Astronaut)

Tardis Blue Fondue with Dippable Spaceships (S6E2 - Day of the Moon)

Curse of the Good Ship Fancy Sandwich (S6E3 - The Curse of the Black Spot)

Blueberry, Cucumber, and Starfruit Time Scraps (S6E4 - The Doctor’s Wife)

Melted Rebel Flesh (S6E5 - The Rebel Flesh)

Liquid Flesh Cocktail (S6E6 - The Almost People)

Headless Monk (S6E7 - A Good Man Goes to War)

Regeneration Fizz (S6E8 - Let’s Kill Hitler)

Jammy Dodgers (S6E9 - Night Terrors)

Two Streams Garden Cocktail (S6E10 - The Girl Who Waited)

Praise His Cheeseball (S6E11 - The God Complex)

Stormageddon’s Cybermat (S6E12- Closing Time)

Texting and Scones (S6E13 - The Wedding of River Song)

Wartime Christmas Fruit Cake (S6E14 - The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe)

FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD

British Style Custard

Quick and Easy Pound Cake Faux Fish Fingers

Gooey Brownie Faux Fish Fingers

French Toast Fish Fingers with Whipped Maple Syrup Custard

Toasted Cornbread Fish Sticks with Honey Butter Custard Dip

Fish Custard Tacos

Savory Fish Fingers and Custard Mock Cake

Fish Fingers and Custard Cocktail

Savory Mock Custards

APPENDIX

MEAL SUGGESTIONS

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

HELLO, SWEETIE

Thanks for taking a chance on my labor of love. I’ve spent the last year watching and rewatching the entire reboot of Doctor Who. Amazingly, I still love it. Since you bought this book, I know you do, too.

There are a few things you need to know before you turn another page.

SPOILERS!

This book includes a recipe for every episode of the reboot. I did my best to keep each recipe genuinely relevant to the episode, so yes, there are spoilers in every single recipe. I’m not too worried about this since it's safe to assume anyone who owns this cookbook loves the show as much as I do. However, if you’re a new fan, stop reading before you reach your latest episode. You’ve been warned.

EPISODE NUMBERING

You’d be surprised how many different ways the episodes are numbered. The Christmas specials are sometimes thrown in with the previous series and sometimes treated as the first episode of a new series. Other places list them in a sort of seasonless limbo. The Series 4 David Tennant specials are just an incredible mess. In the end, I went with what I considered the clearest, most easily understood system I could find. Your mileage may vary.

AMERICAN VERSUS METRIC MEASUREMENTS

You can tell by the spelling and volumetric measurements that I am, in fact, an American. I’ve done my best to convert all my recipes into their metric equivalents. It’s only fair. You gave us Doctor Who. I practically owe you recipes you can make without keeping a calculator in the kitchen.

However, despite my best intentions, going back and forth between a measurement based on volume and one based on weight can be tricky. When in doubt, always fall back on the sad, non-standard, antiquated American measurements.

SPECIAL DIETS

Most of the Doctor Who themed recipes on the web are for startlingly gorgeous desserts. Unfortunately, that makes them off limits to people with Celiac disease (who can’t eat wheat), people who are lactose intolerant (who can't have dairy), vegetarians (who can't eat meat) vegans (who can’t eat any animal byproducts, including eggs or dairy) and paleo or low carb dieters (who can’t eat grains.) I’ve gone out of my way to make sure there are a few recipes everyone can eat. Check the appendix for help finding recipes which fit your needs. If you’re on a special diet, by all means, feel free to modify any of my recipes to fit your need, then please post the changes online for everyone to share.

SERIES 1: LAST OF THE TIME LORDS

Nestene Consciousness  (S1, E1 - Rose)

4 cups/950 ml cream
3 cups/710 ml red wine
2 cups/475 g sugar
2 lemons or limes
1 sprig rosemary

Hello, Doctor. It’s been awhile. You’re looking very modern in your black t-shirt and leather jacket - and if you don’t mind me saying so, kind of sexy with those high cheekbones and that sparkle in your eye. You’re trouble. I like it.

You’re back on Earth, more than a little scarred from the Time War, and very much needing some bright, optimistic human company again. You found that, but you also found a Nestene Consciousness. While bright and colorful, it wasn’t so friendly.

My fellow fans, you too can stare into a suspicious vat of thick orange and red. Drinking this won’t leave you possessed by an alien, though if you down the whole batch, you might start hearing voices.