A Flower’s Shade (14 page)

Suqin and Ai'ai were lying on the bed, their clothes in disarray, when Miss Yu burst in, frightening them both half to death. Ai'ai saw Huaifu standing behind Miss Yu, and quickly put her hand over her breasts. Of her flowery underclothing, only one sleeve was still on, caught around her wrist, and in the rush she had nothing to hide her breasts with. Suqin, staring in astonishment, grabbed the cover and held it up as something between a protection and a cover.

Huaifu, staggered, was standing at the door. He didn't understand what had happened, and the things in front of his eyes seemed horrifying to him. Obviously, there was something not quite right about it all, but he couldn't put his finger on what exactly was wrong. Two things he saw made a profound impression on him. One were the women's underpants, inside-out and hanging on the edge of the bed. When Suqin had rushed to grab the cover, the printed panties had fallen off the bed like a flower in bloom and landed on the footstool. The other thing was Naixiang, in his wheelchair. He was not far from the bed, placed there like the sculpture. For Huaifu, Naixiang was a living corpse, a wandering spirit, and his existence was always connected to the wheelchair. What Huaifu could not figure out was why, when Suqin and Ai'ai were sleeping on the bed together, Naixiang should be facing them.

Instinctively, Huaifu removed himself from the field of vision. He heard Miss Yu asking Suqin, a little awkwardly, "Sister-in-law, why are you still in bed?" and he heard Suqin trying to dissemble, saying with a trembling, rather artificial voice, "I went to bed late last night—well, sister, what brought you here?"

"Nothing in particular. Where's Xiaoyun?" Huaifu heard Miss Yu say, explaining the reason for her visit.

Like Huaifu, there was a still great deal that Miss Yu saw but did not really understand. She looked with curiosity at Ai'ai and Suqin on the bed, not understanding what two women on a bed could really get up to. Ai'ai's face was livid, her eyes were staring, and she wore an expression of dread as at some awful disaster. Seeing her frightened into such a state, Miss Yu realized what was wrong. Miss Yu knew that Suqin treated Ai'ai quite well, and because Ai'ai had always been Naixiang's caretaker, Miss Yu had allowed her to stay in the Zhen Estate. Miss Yu had no overwhelming respect for her sister-in-law Suqin, yet neither did she dare offend her too much. She knew that her abrupt entrance was perhaps pushing things too far, but she turned around and looked at Naixiang in his wheelchair. Because Naixiang's face was paralyzed, Miss Yu was irritated by his numb, ludicrous expression, so she turned around and walked out.

"Time to get up, you two lazybones." Miss Yu added when she had reached the door.

Suqin slowly recovered. To Miss Yu's departing form, she shouted, "As soon as Xiaoyun comes back, I'll tell him to go to your rooms."

M
iss Yu was again learning to ride the bicycle, this time in the back gardens of the Estate. She had only practiced for a while, and then decided to take a break. Then she had turned around and sat on the swing, swinging back and forth as she watched Huaifu learning to ride. Naixiang had put the swing up before his accident, and really it was just a long chair hanging in mid-air. Two people could fit on it, and in bygone years he had often taken his concubines on it to swing back and forth.

Xiaoyun with his dark glasses still exuded arrogance. It was only his mood which seemed to have improved. Someone wearing dark glasses can often make his real expression impenetrable. Xiaoyun found that Huaifu was in earnest, and so he gave him some tips about learning to ride. He told Huaifu to keep his eyes in front of him, not to stare down on the ground.

Miss Yu was watching them indolently. Compared to the brawny Huaifu, Xiaoyun seemed both small and thin. Huaifu was putting his back into it, and was now staring straight in front of himself as Xiaoyun had suggested, and wobbled forward on the bike. He had begun to get the hang of it, and the back gardens were not large. Soon, reaching the end, he had to turn, but this was a trick he had obviously not yet mastered. He veered and struggled and with a crash he fell heavily to the ground. Like a child, Miss Yu gave a big laugh and clapped her hands.

Xiaoyun smiled as well, but as soon he saw that Miss Yu was happily laughing, the smile on his face stiffened. Miss Yu had a lovely smile, and a look of doubt appeared on Xiaoyun's face. The appearance of hostility which so easily appeared on his face when he was with Miss Yu temporarily vanished. In fact, he was taking stock of Miss Yu, and this produced conflicted feelings. Xiaoyun's hostility towards Miss Yu was almost innate. He had never liked this headstrong girl, with whom he had been forced to play with as a child. He remembered how she had always bullied him, relying on her status as the precious daughter of the Zhen Family, and he remembered how she had once even made a long cut in his head by striking him with the branch of a tree. As a poor relation, and one whose sister Suqin had never been much in favour with Naixiang, Xiaoyun had spent his childhood as a dependent in the Zhen family. There had never been any happiness to speak of. He hated every member of the Zhen Family.

Miss Yu watched in excitement as Huaifu scrambled on the ground. He had obviously hurt himself, and grimaced as he got to his feet. Clumsily he again mounted untamable bicycle, and then again fell heavily over. Miss Yu produced occasional bouts of heartfelt laughter. She happened to turn around and discovered that Xiaoyun was stealing a glance at her. Because of the dark glasses, his expression remained inscrutable, but he noticed Miss Yu's glance, and quickly shifted his own, looking with deliberate gravity at Huaifu. Miss Yu saw that this was only pretense and giggled to herself. There was a substantial dose of mischief in her laughter.

Xiaoyun approached Miss Yu who was still on the swing, and looked at her without saying anything. "I suppose you're sitting on the swing because you can't learn to ride a bike," he said seriously. Miss Yu laughed and said, "Why do I have to learn?" Xiaoyun said, "Since you don't have to learn, why did you make me come here?"

Miss Yu said, unreasonably, "Did I ask you to come here?" and pushing off with her feet, began to swing. Strangely enough, Xiaoyun not only failed to get angry at Miss Yu for her capriciousness, but he didn't even talk back to her. Things had changed over time, and Xiaoyun felt that Miss Yu was now not quite the same as the precious maiden of her girlhood. The Miss Yu he saw now had the shape of that girl, but she was actually a complete stranger to him.

Huaifu, riding the bike, lost control, heading in their direction. Xiaoyun's thoughts had been elsewhere. He had no time to prepare, retreating quickly but losing his footing and falling into the approaching swing. He nearly sat on Miss Yu, who had tried to avoid him but had not been able to, since the swing was in mid-air. Miss Yu quickly scraped her feet on the ground to stop the swing and shouted imperiously at Huaifu, "Hey! You troublemaker, where do you think you're going?"

Huaifu wobbled along and once again fell over. Xiaoyun stood up from the swing, and in order to cover his own embarrassment he said to Huaifu, who was now picking himself up, "You've more or less got it. Fall down a few more times and you'll have learnt it." Huaifu, exhausted, was sweating from every pore. He picked the bike off the ground and looked towards them, saying eagerly to Miss Yu, "Cousin, I'll have got the hang of it soon, and then I can teach you."

Miss Yu didn't seem to be listening to him at all.

Huaifu was still excited, "When I can ride, I'll give you lessons every day."

Although Huaifu's initial intention had been to get in Miss Yu's good books, he had for some reason irritated her instead. Full of loathing, she rolled her eyes at him, seeming not to appreciate the offer in the slightest. "Who wants you to teach me? Why don't you jump off a cliff?" she scowled in disgust. Xiaoyun and Huaifu both looked at Miss Yu in her fury. Neither of them understood why she had burst into a rage without rhyme or reason. Miss Yu noticed their looks, and seemed also to notice that her behavior was a little excessive, so she backed down and smiled. She said casually to Huaifu, "Very well. You do your best to learn, and fall down a few more times. I can't be troubled to keep you company any longer. Hey, Xiaoyun. How about you? Why don't you come with me, we'll have some tea. What, are you going to turn down my invitation?"

Xiaoyun hesitated for a moment, and left with Miss Yu. He was aware that her invitation smacked of a challenge, and he felt that he ought bravely to meet the challenge. In the blink of an eye, Huaifu was left all alone in the back garden. Huaifu pushed the bicycle and looked at their retreating forms in abject disappointment.

X
iaoyun seemed to have entered a marvelous world, and with a pretentious air he examined how Miss Yu's room was decorated. There were many rumors abroad on this subject. There had been quite a lot of talk surrounding the fact that the room had not only an opium bed, but that she had even been seen with a copy of The Plum in the Golden Vase in her hands. People were given to exaggeration, and described Miss Yu as a strange, headstrong old maid who smoked opium in a nation without men, reading erotic books all day with the doors closed, reading on and on until late at night.

But as soon as Xiaoyun really entered her room, what he saw was not the legendary atmosphere of debauchery, but something quite like that which he remembered from his childhood. Xiaoyun remembered that Miss Yu had loved flowers as a child, and her room had always been full of all kinds of flowers, real and fake, all over the place. Xiaoyun's deepest impression was of an enormous lotus lamp hanging in the room. There had been a candle in the lotus lamp, and with the flickering flame, it kept making him feel like it was going to catch fire.

At present, Miss Yu's room actually seemed rather bookish. There were examples of Miss Yu's calligraphy everywhere, and the ink, inkstone, brush and paper were all at hand. It was obvious that they were used on a daily basis. On a bookshelf that looked antique were heaped all kinds of stone rubbings. Above the far end of the opium bed was a framed example of Kang Tuo's calligraphy: "Floral Fragrance" written with heavy ink diffused with water. It was written with free brushstrokes, neither heavy nor faint, and it seemed indeed like some fragrance seeped from it.

Miss Yu told Xiaoyun not to stand about like a fool, but to sit down and have some tea. She noticed that Xiaoyun was still looking about, so she found something to say to him: "Xiaoyun you've been out there studying all those years. You must have seen a lot of the world. How about you tell me what things are like out there?"

"Things aren't much like anything out there." Xiaoyun said casually, thinking that Miss Yu's question really was too childish. He sat down but kept gazing about. He still wore his dark glasses indoors, and all of his actions seemed rather artificial. Just then, he thought about that legendary copy of The Plum in the Golden Vase because the day before he had heard his sister Suqin laughing about the book with Ai'ai. Whenever Suqin mentioned Miss Yu, she couldn't prevent herself from saying a few denigrating words. Xiaoyun bit his lip, and a subtle hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Miss Yu, not understanding, looked at him, "What are you smiling at?"

Xiaoyun's gaze happened to wander to the opium bed. All the opium implements were stored together in a basket, at the sight of which Xiaoyun could not repress his astonishment. It seemed to him like he had seen these objects before, and the image of a hand kneading the opium pill flashed before his eyes, the snuff bottle's lid was being screwed open, the white powder was being tipped out. Xiaoyun's mood changed instantly, and he stood up like a disturbed man and walked haltingly to the opium bed. Xiaoyun's discomfort was certainly not because he had discovered that Miss Yu smoked opium, since Miss Yu's opium habit was a secret known to all. The reason he suddenly lost his self-control was because the sight of opium after a long absence brought back to him memories he did not wish to revisit.

Miss Yu walked over and asked casually, "Do you want a puff or two?"

The effect on Xiaoyun was electric, and he began to tremble violently, like a thief caught in the act, his face green. His extreme discomfort startled Miss Yu. Miss Yu liked to surprise people, and she especially liked to surprise men, she liked it when men were left wide-eyed on account of the things she did. "Hey, what is it? Do you moderns all act like they've seen a ghost just because they've seen a little opium? What's the big deal? Everyone says one mustn't touch it, but I really enjoy it. So what?"

Xiaoyun said nothing. His expression had stiffened.

Miss Yu said, "Say something! Cat got your tongue? Don't imagine you're a big deal now just because you left here and went and went to school for a couple of years—"

Xiaoyun picked up the opium and with exaggerated gestures, examined the pipe's construction. Miss Yu was talking, but she seemed far away, like someone in a different world. He had suddenly sunk into the world of illusions, and that world was at odds with the real world. It was a world he desperately wanted to escape, and which it was certain he never would. Xiaoyun began to regret having come to Miss Yu's room. Seeing her taking the opium pipe in his hand seem to recall to him Naixiang's ridiculous expression. That expression floated before his eyes. Miss Yu looked at him with great curiosity. Xiaoyun suddenly said in a piercing voice, "Miss Yu, do you want me to vaporize the opium for you?" Saying this he put the pipe down like a man disturbed, picked up the pliers and used them to scoop out a small chunk of opium, skillfully forming it with his fingertips. His expert movements showed that he was an old hand at this.

Miss Yu was astonished. Clearly, she had expected nothing of the kind.

Xiaoyun struck a match and lit the opium lamp, saying to Miss Yu, "Are you worried I won't vaporize it properly?"

Miss Yu shook her head.

Xiaoyun said, defiantly, "Don't all the Zhen's like to have someone vaporize the opium for them? What, are you really worried I won't vaporize it properly? Let me tell you, there was a time when your brother really liked for me to vaporize it for him. No need to be embarrassed, I was just about your brother's servant, wasn't I?" Xiaoyun took the opium in the tweezers and began to vaporize it in the fire, and as he did it he kept forming it with his fingers. He was in a very intense mood, but his technique was full of artistry.