Kirk looked up at her and nodded. “He came by the farm last week. Helped me feed the animals and clean up the petting zoo and activity center. We talked a long while.”
Pamela clamped her lips together as anger bubbled in her stomach and rose into her chest. How dare Jack talk to her brother behind her back! He could do and say whatever he wanted to weasel his way back into the family, but they didn’t know him as she did. They didn’t know the times she’d hidden his drunkenness from them.
“I’m glad,” said Emmy. “He’s going to take me to play the games and do the cake walk and jump on the bouncy things.”
Pamela looked at her older daughter. Bitterness and anger marred Emma’s expression, and Pamela’s heart twisted with pain.
God, what has happened to my sweet girl?
She blinked at the quick prayer. What would God do to help Emma? Nothing. Maybe it was good for Emma to learn at a young age that life was hard and the world was cruel. She glanced at her younger daughter, who twirled a strand of long hair between her fingers and continued to pat Callie’s stomach. Kirk and Callie stared at each other as if nothing in the world could shake them.
Or maybe it’s time I tried trusting God again.
“Give him a chance.”
Pamela turned to see her mother talking into Emma’s ear. She kissed her granddaughter’s cheek, and Emma rested her head on her grandma’s shoulder. Hurt still traced Emma’s features, and Pamela bit back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.
Give him a chance. Give him a chance.
Her family’s advice washed over her like a hot shower on a cold day. But sometimes the water was too hot, and the steam took away all ability to breathe. Gasping at the pressure against her chest, Pamela turned and walked away from her family.
She had to be strong. Jack had the ability to rip her heart into shreds. Again. She couldn’t take that chance.
Chapter 8
P
amela placed the orange-and-black bracelet on the plastic hook of the fishing pole, then tugged the line. The small girl on the other side of the wooden partition that was decorated with an ocean theme lifted the hook over and squealed when she saw her prize. Emma pulled her sweater sleeve, and Pamela looked at her daughter. She pointed to the plastic spider she’d just stuck on the hook. “Gabe will love this.”
Peeking around the partition, Pamela spied a dark-haired boy who’d been in Emma’s class since kindergarten. She’d wondered if her daughter had a crush on the little urchin. Judging by the blossoms of pink on each of Emma’s cheeks, Pamela’s assumption had been correct.
She grinned at her girl. Emma looked adorable with her long hair French braided with a dark brown bow wrapped around the bottom of the mane. The green-and-brown polka-dotted shirt complimented the brown corduroy skirt and brown boots with fur at the top. She and the girls had enjoyed buying a few new outfits with the money she’d gotten from Jack.
Emma’s friend, Sabrina, raced up to the makeshift booth, and they hugged. Sabrina tugged at Emma’s shirt. “Come on. Let’s go play.”
Emma frowned. “I’m helping my mom.”
Pamela waved to Sabrina’s parents, who stood beside the beanbag-tossing game. “I’ll be fine. Go play.”
Emma’s face lit up, and Pamela realized it had been a while since she’d seen her daughter smile so big. “Really?”
“Of course.” She shooed her away. “Go on.”
Pamela placed another trinket on the plastic hook, then sat on the stool. With the start of the cake walk, fewer children came to the booth.
“You need some help?”
Pamela gasped when she looked up at her former professor. “Peter, what are you doing here?”
“It’s been a few days since I’ve seen you. I knew your girls came to this school.” He shrugged. “So, here I am.”
Pamela thought of the past few days. She’d washed sheets, vacuumed and checked both girls’ hair for nits each day. Just to be sure she’d conquered the little critters, she planned to smother their hair in mayonnaise again over the weekend. She thought of Jack and his willingness to dig right in and help. She couldn’t imagine Peter being so willing. And she still didn’t know why Jack had known so much about delousing a person and a house.
Pushing her thoughts away, she patted the stool beside her. “Have a seat. As you can tell, I’m not busy at the moment.”
He sat beside her, then placed his hand on the top of her knee. “So, what have you been up to these last few days?”
Pamela stiffened. Uncomfortable, she pivoted, allowing his hand to fall off her leg. “Nothing much. Studying and cleaning.”
Both true statements, although she had no intention of expounding on how much cleaning had been involved. The smell of his musky cologne wafted to her nostrils, and she sucked in a deep breath. He smelled delicious, as always. His hair lay in perfect dark waves, and his light eyes reminded her of ocean waves splashing against the shore. And yet, she’d felt squeamish when he’d touched her leg.
“Hi, Mommy.”
Pamela turned, and warmth traveled up her neck and cheeks at the sight of Emmy with Jack beside her. His brows formed a single line above confused eyes. She cleared her throat. “Are you having fun?”
Emmy handed her a tray of six cupcakes decorated with pumpkins. “See what Daddy and I won at the cake walk.”
Pamela glanced at Peter, noting the surprise on his face. She cleared her throat again and pointed to Jack. “Peter, this is Jack. He’s—”
“Her husband.” Jack extended his hand. “And you are?”
Peter lifted his chin. “Peter Dane. A friend of Pamela’s.”
Looking from one man to the other, Pamela noted the set jaws, the piercing gazes. If she didn’t know better, she might expect one of them to ask the other to step outside to exchange blows.
Exhaling a long breath, Pamela peered at Jack. “Actually, Jack is legally my husband, but he hasn’t been part of my life for the past eight years.”
Jack’s gaze stayed focused on Peter as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “That’s going to change.”
Pamela bit back a growl. “And Peter was my professor two semesters ago.”
“Yes, and now—”
Pamela lifted her hand and cut him off. “Emmy, what are you and your dad planning to do now?”
She giggled. “We’re going to play on the bouncy things.”
Pamela stared up at Jack. “That sounds like a great idea.” Pamela pushed his arm. “Take Emmy to the inflatables. You can meet me back here in an hour.”
Jack opened his mouth, then clamped it shut. With a quick nod, he grabbed Emmy’s hand, turned and walked out of the school’s gymnasium.
“You’re still married?”
Irritation laced through Peter’s words, and Pamela shifted toward him and looked him in the eye. “I am.”
“But?”
“He’s been gone for eight years. This month he showed up wanting to start over.”
“And what do you want?”
“I want nothing to do with him.”
Peter’s eyes lit up as he smiled. “Terrific.”
Just because she didn’t want anything to do with Jack didn’t mean she wanted to start something with Peter. If the past few minutes were a preview to what life would be like with a man in her life again, then she’d pass.
She hadn’t needed a man for a long time, and she most certainly wasn’t about to start yearning for one now if it meant tension thicker than her financial planning textbook. Peter seemed to be a nice guy. She’d enjoyed him as a teacher, and there was no denying the guy was easy on the eyes, but her girls came first.
Biting her bottom lip, she placed a trinket on the plastic hook for the little boy who’d just given Peter a ticket. Life had been so much easier a month ago. No Jack. No Peter. Just school and her girls.
And your anger and bitterness.
Pamela blinked. Where had that come from? She remembered the sadness on Emma’s face the night before at her parents’ house. Surely Emma hadn’t gotten those feelings from her.
* * *
Jack and Pamela stood behind Emma and Emmy at the counter of the ice-cream parlor. The mom-and-pop place had the same fifties decor he’d enjoyed when he was a child, though the owners had added a few pieces, refurbished the booths and repainted the walls. It had been one of his favorite places to take Pamela when they’d dated, and now it felt right to take his daughters, as well. He sneaked a peek at Pamela and wondered if she shared his nostalgic memories.
Once Emma and Emmy placed orders for a peanut butter shake with chocolate candies and a fudge milkshake with whipped cream, Jack turned to his wife. “Hot fudge sundae, no nuts, extra whipped cream and an extra cherry?”
She nodded slowly and he ordered one for both of them. She studied him as he paid for the snack. Everything in him wanted to turn to her, grab her by the shoulders and proclaim that he knew everything about her, remembered the good, the bad and all the in-between. Alcohol had imprisoned him behind a lock only God could break through, but he’d never stopped paying attention, never stopped loving her.
Taking their treats to a booth, Emma grabbed her mother’s hand and nudged her to sit beside her. While Emmy talked about colliding with a friend on the inflatable, Jack studied his older daughter, wondering what he could do to get her to trust him.
It’s gonna take time.
Jermaine’s words from last week’s phone call rang through his mind.
Time and consistency. You’re gonna have to prove to that girl you ain’t leavin’ her again.
Jack took a bite of his sundae. He’d learned a great deal about patience in the years it took to get back on track. Meditating on God’s word, going to school, working at the shelter and staying sober had taught him about learning to wait. But since moving back to Tennessee, Jack found himself anxious to get started with life, to take Pamela back in his arms, to love and care for his girls.
“Hi, Pamela, Emma, Emmy.”
Jack blinked away his thoughts and looked up at the family standing beside the booth. Emma sat up straight.
Pamela smiled as she pointed to Jack. “Wayne, Libby, this is...” She paused.
Emmy wrapped her hands around his arm. “It’s our daddy, Jack.”
Questions covered the couple’s features, and Jack found himself biting back frustration.
Emma grinned at the girl beside Wayne and Libby. “Sabrina, I didn’t know you were coming here.”
The blond-haired girl giggled. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here, either.”
“Mom, can I go sit with Sabrina?”
“Well...” Pamela pursed her lips.
“It’s fine with us.” Libby glanced from Pamela to him, then placed her hand on her chin. “I mean, if it’s okay with you.”
Jack clasped his hands, wanting nothing more than for the couple to leave the side of the booth. This was an additional point he hadn’t considered when he’d returned to Bloom Hollow—the people who didn’t know him and had no clue that his wife and daughters did indeed have a husband and dad. “I think it will be fine. Don’t you, hon?”
She narrowed her eyes, and Jack realized the endearment had slipped from his lips. It was no secret that he wanted to renew their relationship, but she’d also made it clear she wasn’t ready. Part of him didn’t mind the fire that lit those eyes. The fire was better than emptiness. He still stirred her emotions. He’d just have to work on which ones.
Pamela nudged Emma. “You can sit with them.”
Emma jumped up, and she and Sabrina raced to a booth across the parlor. Emmy tugged his sleeve. “Daddy, will you let me out? I gotta go to the bathroom.”
Pamela opened her mouth, and Emmy lifted her hands. “I know. I know. I’ll wash my hands.”
Jack grinned at Emmy’s emphatic tone. She sounded much older than her eight years. After letting her out, he sat back down. “You don’t have to go with her?”
She motioned around the shop. “We’re in a small-town ice-cream parlor. She’s eight years old. She’ll be fine.” She took a bite of her sundae, then shoved the spoon into the cup. “Besides, we need to talk.”
Jack wiped his face. “Yes, we do.”
“Don’t call me ‘hon.’”
“But I love you.”
Pamela narrowed her gaze again. “Doesn’t matter. Don’t do it.”
“Fine.” He put his elbows on the table and leaned closer to her. “I want to see you and the girls every day.”
She snorted. “I don’t think so.”
He’d known what her response would be, but he wanted her to hear what he desired, what he hoped for, what he prayed nightly for. Since seeing that Peter character sitting on the stool beside her, Jack determined that he would let her know each time he saw her that he intended to win her back.
“I want to set up times to see you.”
“To see the girls.”
“And you.”
“Just the girls.”
“Do you really think Emma is ready to see me without you?”
The question tasted bitter coming from his lips. It hurt, but the words were true. Emma wasn’t ready to spend time with him without her mother.
Pamela wrinkled her nose. “You’re right. But it doesn’t always have to be me. It could be Mom or Dad or Kirk.” She crossed her arms. “And you already know they’re all ready and willing to welcome you back into our lives.”
Jack grinned. He couldn’t help it. It thrilled him that her family wanted to give him a second chance. “I’m going to win you back, Pammer.”
“This isn’t a game to win, Jack. The finish line doesn’t happen until you’re dead. Family life is the journey, and you have to be present to participate.”
“You’re right, and I want to take every next step with you. Please forgive me.”
Pamela didn’t respond, simply twirled her spoon in the sundae. “When do you want to see them again?”
“Tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“When?”
Pamela sighed as she jabbed the spoon into the sundae. “Sunday. After church.”
Two days!
He’d expected her to say a week or more. Figured he’d have to argue for a sooner date, but two days was perfect.
“Okay.” Jack reached into his pocket and handed her a check. “To help with bills and such.”
She nodded as she placed the money in her purse. “I think I’ll go check on Emmy.”
Jack watched her walk away. She’d agreed to let him see the girls again and she’d taken the money without a fight. They were making progress.