A Family Reunited (10 page)

Chapter 16

J
ack pushed End on the phone and covered his face with his hands. His mom had passed away. Unexpected massive heart attack. He dropped onto the chair, tears streamed down his cheeks, as Kari’s sobs echoed through his mind. Todd and Dad hadn’t spoken to him. His sister said they were too stunned and devastated.

Falling to his knees, he planted his face into the seat cushion.
God.
He didn’t know what to pray. Didn’t have the words. Didn’t know his feelings. His heart.

He wanted a drink. Desperately. He licked parched lips. He couldn’t remember the last time the desire had been so strong. New tears flowed as he thought of what a miserable son he’d been. How he’d disappointed her time and again.

Gripping the sides of his jeans, he tried to fight the urge to yank the keys out of his pocket and drive to the nearest liquor store.
God.
The desire was strong. So strong.

He’d failed his mom. The last time he’d seen her he’d been drunk. Sure, he’d talked with her many times since sobering up, but actually seeing her face, giving her a hug and kiss. He thought of his brother and sister. If it weren’t for social media, he wouldn’t even know what they looked like. Probably wouldn’t have communicated with them at all.

He was the lowest of the low. The chief of all sinners. He balled his hands into fists. Pamela had rejected him. She’d made it clear she’d never take him back. He needed a drink. Licking his lips, he could almost taste it.
God, help.

The office door opened. Hands touched his shoulders. He looked up into his old drinking buddy’s face. Owen frowned, concerned. “Jack, what’s wrong?”

“My mom. She died.”

“Oh, no.”

Owen helped him to his feet and wrapped one arm around his shoulder. He prayed out loud for peace and strength for Jack and his family. Jack’s heartbeat slowed and his mind cleared more with each word from his friend’s mouth. When Owen finished the prayer, he squeezed Jack’s shoulder. “What can I do to help?”

“You just kept me from hitting the liquor store.”

“Not me. God kept you.”

Jack knew it was true. God had proven to be stronger than his weakness. He’d provided what Jack needed when he needed it. He only had to rest and trust in his Savior. “If you’ll call the bus station and find out the soonest I can get a ticket, I’ll make some calls to let everyone know I have to leave.”

Owen nodded. “Consider it done.”

Jack called Pastor Mark, who assured him the shelter would be cared for, and then he left a message with Jermaine that he’d have to use the ticket voucher sooner than expected.

Exhaling a quick breath, he called Pamela’s cell phone. He hadn’t talked to her since their date. Her voice mail picked up and he wondered if she’d avoided his call or if she was truly busy. A beep sounded. “Pamela, I’m going to have to leave for a few days. Mom died unexpectedly of a heart attack.” The words caught in his throat, and he coughed. “Call me if you need anything. Give the girls a hug and kiss for me. Tell them I love them.”

He wanted to tell her he loved her, as well. That no matter how she felt, he believed in the vow they’d made. He’d defiled and made light of it for years, but he was a new creation in Christ, and because of that he couldn’t give up on his love for Pamela. He didn’t even want to.

Ending the call without saying the words, he turned to Owen. “What time do I leave?”

“You’ve got an hour.”

“Better pack fast. You mind to take me to the station?”

“You know I don’t mind.”

Once he was ready to go, Owen drove him to the station. On the bus ride, Jack alternated between napping and reading the Bible and commentaries on God’s word. He’d have to keep his mind filled with scripture to make it through the next several days. Every hour he checked his phone. Pamela hadn’t responded to his message. Closing his eyes again, he tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about his hurting family or never being able to talk with his mom again while on earth.

After finally arriving in Texas, he stepped off the bus and saw his dad, Todd and Kari waiting on the platform. Emotion overwhelmed him as they wrapped their arms around him.

“You’re home,” his dad muttered.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see her,” Jack mumbled, trying to hold on to a semblance of composure.

“She was proud of you, Jack,” said Kari. She looked so grown-up with her light hair cut short and makeup on her face. He knew she’d carried the brunt of caring for their mother. She’d had to grow up fast.

He pulled Todd into an embrace. He’d been a mama’s boy, and Jack knew her death hurt to the core of his being.

His dad scratched the day’s growth of hair on his face. “She was proud of you, Jack. We both were.”

Kari poked his arm. “I wanna see those nieces of mine. You haven’t put any pictures of them on Facebook.”

Jack shrugged. “Well, it’s not quite—”

“I know. It’s not quite that easy yet. But surely you have some on your phone.”

“I do.” Jack reached into his jacket pocket. His phone wasn’t there. He checked his other pocket and his jeans. No phone. “I must have dropped it.”

He jumped back on the bus and searched the seat he’d been in. Still no phone.

“Can I help you, buddy?” asked the bus driver.

“Yeah. I think I left my phone on the bus.”

The man held up a cracked black iPhone. “This it?”

Jack’s heart sank. “Yeah.” It was the one the church provided for him.

The bus driver shook his head. “A fellow stepped on it in the aisle. Must have fallen out of your pocket when you stood up. Hope you had insurance.”

He didn’t, and he definitely didn’t have the funds to replace it. He had a small emergency fund, but he wouldn’t be able to get to it until he went back to Tennessee. He took the phone. “Thanks.”

Showing the phone to his dad and siblings, he cocked his head. “Guess I can’t show you any pictures.”

“That stinks,” said Kari. “Maybe we’ll have a chance to run to—”

Jack stopped her. “It’s okay. I want to spend time with you, not worry about phone calls. I’ve notified everyone where I am.”

He wished he could have talked with Pamela in person. He could try her again from his parents’ phone. He frowned. Except he didn’t know her number. It was programmed into the phone.
I’ll only be gone two days. She has a message on her phone. I’ll spend this time focused on Dad, Kari and Todd.

* * *

Pamela tied the bow on the present, then set it to the side. She picked up one of the books she and Jack had bought for Emma and set it on the wrapping paper.

Her heart was heavy. She knew Jack had left a message on her phone hours ago, but she hadn’t had the courage to listen to it. All night she’d tossed and turned, replaying their last conversation. He’d been honest with her. She knew him. She could tell.

Folding the paper over the book, she then pulled off a piece of tape and stuck it on the wrapping. But then, honesty had never been a problem for Jack. He’d told the truth many times, almost to a fault. Like the time he’d admitted a dress she’d just purchased and loved made her look like a chocolate cupcake.
Which is why I know he truly loves me.

“You’re awful quiet tonight,” said Callie.

Pamela glanced at her sister-in-law. Even in her nursing scrubs, Callie radiated happiness. “Just got a lot on my mind.”

“Jack?” her mom asked.

Pamela really didn’t want to talk about it with them. Her mom kept trying to talk her into “giving love another chance.” Which was easy for Mom to say. Dad had never drank and left her with two kids. He’d been her hero from the moment the two of them said their I dos.

And Callie was eaten up with happiness. Something she deserved. Besides, Pamela didn’t want to burden her pregnant sister-in-law.

Pamela shrugged, knowing she had to answer her mother. “Of course it’s Jack.”

“Mom!” Emma pounded on the bedroom door. “What are you all doing in there?”

“We’re wrapping Grandpa’s presents.” She pointed to a couple of boxes behind her and whispered, “That’s the truth.”

Emma’s giggles sounded through the door. “Don’t wrap Dad’s. Emmy and I want to do it.”

“Okay,” Pamela called.

Callie grinned. “So, what did y’all buy Jack for Christmas?”

“Emmy got him a tool set, and Emma got him a flannel shirt.” Pamela snorted and rolled her eyes. “Like he doesn’t have enough of those.”

Her mom and Callie chuckled. Then Tammie asked, “Did you get him something?”

She shook her head.

Callie patted Pamela’s leg. “She doesn’t have to get him anything. The man’s only been back in Bloom Hollow a few months. Pamela can take her time deciding how she feels about him.”

Pamela smiled and mouthed “thank you” to her sister-in-law. Wrapping a ribbon around the present, discontent pricked at her. She knew how she felt. Her heart knew. Her mind knew. Even her spirit nudged her to just trust God with Jack again. But she’d held on to her fear of vulnerability for so long. First Jack left; then Greta died. She’d covered the fear with bitterness and independence, and it had served her well for the past few years.

She thought of Emma’s struggles with anger and bitterness, how she used to snap at her sister and how Emma seemed to hide within herself when she felt uncomfortable. She’d wondered if Emma’s change in personality had been a direct result of Pamela’s hardened spirit the past few years. Since Jack had returned, Emma’s disposition had changed. Her inner turmoil seemed to have lessened, and she acted more like a little girl again.
Maybe the fear I’ve clung to hasn’t served me so well after all.

“Mom!” Emmy pounded on the door. “I messed up your phone.”

“What?” Pamela touched her jeans pocket. She’d forgotten she’d told Emmy she could play a game on it.

“I don’t know what happened,” wailed Emmy. “All of the sudden Daddy’s voice was on the phone, but he wouldn’t answer me. So I pushed the talk button, but he didn’t talk, so I pushed the end button, and he still didn’t talk.”

With Emmy crying on the other side of the door, Pamela looked up at the clock. “It’s almost bedtime. I think I’ll take the girls back to the cabin, get their baths and put them to bed.”

“No problem,” said Mom. “Give them a kiss for me.”

“And me,” said Callie.

Pamela walked out of the bedroom and took the phone from Emmy. She bit back a growl when she realized her younger daughter had deleted Jack’s message. Shrugging it off, she knew he’d call again within the hour to tell the girls good-night.

They walked to the cabin, the girls took baths and then each read a book to Pamela. She looked at her cell phone. Jack still hadn’t called, and it was past their bedtime.

Concern wrinkled Emma’s brow. “Did Dad forget to call?”

Pamela winked. “I’m sure he’s working on something at the shelter and forgot.” She handed the phone to Emma. “Why don’t you call him?”

Emma pushed the contact, waited a moment then handed the phone back to Pamela. “It’s his voice mail.”

Pamela kissed each of the girls. “I’m sure he’s just busy. We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

After walking out of the room, Pamela placed her hand against her chest. Something was wrong. She could feel it. She called Jack’s number again, and her heartbeat sped up when his voice mail picked up immediately. She called Owen’s number. No answer. She tried again. Still no answer, but this time she left a message. She tried Pastor Mark. Straight to voice mail, just like Jack’s phone. After leaving a message, she called the shelter. No answer.

She gripped a chunk of her hair with her hand as she walked to her bedroom and shut the door. Was no one available to answer the phone? She played with her phone, trying to find the message Emmy had deleted. She dropped the phone on the bed. It was no use. Flopping on her belly, she covered her head with a pillow as thoughts shot through her mind. He’d been so hurt when she’d stepped out of the car. What if he’d been in an accident? What if he was drinking? What if he left again?

Fear rose in her throat and pounded her head. She loved him. She punched the bed with her fist.
God, I don’t want to love him. I don’t want to feel vulnerable again.

Who are you really afraid of?

Her spirit wailed within her. She knew the source of her fear. God. He allowed bad things to happen. Like husbands to walk away and friends to die in car accidents. He allowed those things.

But why, God? Why do bad things happen? I served You, and I was a good wife to Jack. And Greta, too, Lord. She loved You with all her heart.

Scriptures flooded Pamela’s mind.
My ways are not your ways. God gives and takes away. With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move this mountain.

She sat up in the bed and hugged her arms around her waist. Faith. She wanted faith. Her heart clenched, and her breath stuck in her throat. Once upon a time, she’d trusted him with her whole heart.

Scriptures flowed through her mind again.
Faith of a child. Were you there when the earth was formed? I have a plan for you. All things work together for good. Trust Me.

Pamela blew out a breath and looked up at the ceiling. “I give up, God. I can’t do it. I can’t fight You anymore. I don’t understand everything.” She shook her head. “I don’t, but I’m going to trust You anyway.”

After lying back in the bed, she closed her eyes. A peace she hadn’t known for far too long enveloped her like a heavy, warm blanket. Soon she was fast asleep.

Chapter 17

J
ack held his sister and brother tight as the men lowered their mother’s coffin into the ground. Their father stood a few feet away from them, holding a bouquet of their mother’s favorite flowers in one hand and her wedding ring in the other.

A few of Dad’s coworkers had attended the funeral, as well as Kari’s boyfriend and a couple of Kari and Todd’s friends from school. Now the family stood alone, the rain pouring down as if a bucket dropped water from the heavens. The weather fit their demeanor and somehow made the tears easier for Jack.

He hated that his suitcase was packed and loaded in the trunk of his dad’s car. They’d had a good two days catching up and sharing memories. He and his dad had made amends, and he hoped one day he could bring Pamela and the girls to Texas for a visit. At least the girls.

With the coffin in place, Todd took their dad’s hand, and they walked in silence to the car. He’d miss his mother, but he would see her again one day in heaven. His heart ached for his dad and siblings. Mom had taken them to church when she was able, but Dad never shared her sentiments about faith. Jack knew Todd and Kari knew precious little about the Lord.
God, help me be a light to them.

They didn’t talk as his dad drove to the bus station. He didn’t want to leave so soon. They couldn’t even share the spaghetti and meatballs Dad’s coworkers had brought to the house. But he couldn’t afford to stay another day. And he missed Pamela and the girls. He needed to wrap his arms around them and tell them how much he loved them.

Once at the station, he hugged his sister. “You look so much like Mom.” She cried into his chest. “Absolutely beautiful. I hope you’ll go to church with your friend. Mom would want you to know Jesus.” She didn’t argue, simply nodded against his shirt.

He grabbed his little brother with his other hand. Unlike his sister, who looked years older, Todd looked closer to Emma’s age than his own. “Hang in there. Call me anytime you want.”

Todd wiped his eyes with the back of his coat sleeve. “I will.”

His dad grabbed his hand and patted his shoulder. “I really am proud of you, Jack. You straightened up.”

“God straightened me up, Dad.” He glanced at his sister and brother. “Take them to church. You know Mom would want that.”

His dad’s eyelids brimmed with tears as he nodded. “I will.”

With one last hug for each of them, Jack got on the bus. The ride from Texas back to Tennessee seemed especially long, and Jack wished he had his phone so he could call the girls. He tried to sleep, then attempted to read, but his mind whirred with one thought after another.

He might never be able to have Pamela as his wife again, but he would be a father to the girls. They’d have to discuss when he could pick them up and how often. Worry over the conversation weighed heavily, but he could never walk away from them again. Life was too short, too precious.

With the bus arriving back in Tennessee well past midnight, he didn’t try to find a phone to reach Owen. Instead, he’d decided he would take a cab back to his apartment. The next morning he’d check on the shelter, then head to the nearest store to purchase a new phone.

The cab pulled up at the apartment and he changed his mind. Giving the driver the address of the shelter, he decided he’d shower and sleep there. He was anxious to make sure everything had gone all right since he’d been gone. He’d missed hamburger night, Steve’s favorite night of the week, and he wanted to be sure his friend knew Jack hadn’t left for good.

Once at the shelter, he walked into his office and dropped his bag on the floor. The couch looked more inviting than it ever had before. His shower would have to wait. He had to shut his eyes for a few hours or he wouldn’t be able to make it through the next day.

Taking a blanket and pillow out of the closet, he made a makeshift bed. He pulled off his shoes and untucked his shirt. He offered a quick prayer for rest, for peace for his dad and siblings, and for the opportunity to see his girls tomorrow.

He smiled as he realized how much he felt at home back in Tennessee. God had pulled him out of the mire and brought him back to the place He had planned for him.
I can trust You with Pamela, Lord. Whether she ever loves me again or not, I entrust her to You.

* * *

To no avail, Pamela slathered makeup on her red, swollen eyelids. Giving up, she tossed the eye shadow brush into the cosmetic bag. She pulled her hair through a ponytail holder. Staring at her reflection, she grunted. This was not how she wanted to look when she saw Jack again for the first time.

But she couldn’t help it. She’d cried for two days straight. She’d yielded her life and fears back over to Christ, and each time she heard a Christian song or opened her Bible or voiced a quick prayer, she burst into tears again.

And Jack. She blew out a breath. Owen had finally called her back and told her that his mother had passed away and he’d taken a bus to Texas for the funeral. Her heart broke for him. Not only had Pamela finally admitted to herself and to God that she loved her husband, but she’d had to live for two days knowing Jack had mourned his mother’s passing believing she wanted nothing to do with him.

Tears filled her eyes again, and she grabbed a tissue, blotted them then pointed at her reflection in the mirror above the bathroom sink. “You’ve got no cry left in you, woman. Get a grip.”

Sucking in a deep breath, she tugged at the bottom of her long flannel dress, then adjusted the brown belt around her waist. She pulled her cowboy boots over chestnut-colored leggings and walked out of the bathroom.

“Mom, are you all right?”

Pamela’s lower lip quivered at Emma’s soft words and concerned expression. She wrapped her arm around her child’s neck and kissed the top of her head. “I am perfectly fine. You and Emmy are going to Grandma and Grandpa’s while I run some errands.”

She nodded, but Pamela knew the child still feared something wasn’t right. Grabbing the oversize umbrella, she walked the girls to the main house before dashing to her car. She kept the radio off on the drive to the shelter, fearing if she listened to Christian music she’d start blubbering again.

Her mind stayed in constant prayer mode. She didn’t even know what she was thinking or wanting or planning to do or say. She simply begged God to show her when she got there.

She pulled into the parking lot beside the shelter. It was early and rain poured down in what seemed like solid sheets, but she knew the workers would be serving breakfast. She gazed into the rearview mirror and patted the corners of her eyes. Owen said Jack’s bus was supposed to have arrived late last night. She knew he’d be at The Refuge first thing in the morning.

She gripped the strap of her purse. She still didn’t understand why he’d turned off his phone, why he hadn’t called the girls for two days. The what-ifs that flitted through her mind had ransacked her heart, making her physically ill each time she allowed herself to think about it.

Pushing the car door, she opened the umbrella and made her way toward the building.
He’ll probably be at the door, greeting people.
She sucked in her breath as she walked up the steps and opened the door.

Her heart sank. Teresa smiled at her and shook her hand. Even wearing a plain red sweatshirt and jeans, the woman’s dark hair and eyes made her look naturally gorgeous. “Hi, Pamela. What brings you here today?”

“I came to see Jack. Is he back from Texas?”

“He is. I believe he’s in the office. Asleep the last time I checked.”

Jealousy trickled down Pamela’s spine at the idea of Teresa being in his office with him and knowing he was asleep there. And what if Jack wanted her to be in there with him since Pamela had rejected him so completely?

She blinked several times.
I’m going crazy. Absolutely losing my mind. God, help me get a grip.

Pointing toward the office, Pamela said, “I’ll just go back there and check on him.”

After taking a few steps, a tall, lumbering man stepped in front of her. Pamela placed her hand on her chest as she looked up. The man smiled, exposing rotting teeth. His eyes twinkled with kindness, and she remembered she’d met him before. “Steve, right?”

He tugged at his shaggy beard. “That’s right, miss. And you’re Jack’s wife, ain’t ya?”

“I am.”

He clicked his tongue. “I sure did miss him the last couple days. He didn’t leave us for good, now did he?”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe so.” She opened her mouth to tell him that Jack was apparently in the office; then she stopped herself. Maybe Steve wasn’t supposed to know Jack was in his office.

“Well, when you see him, tell him ol’ Steve asked about him.”

“I will.”

With a quick wave, she walked past him, down the hall and toward the office. She knocked gently, but no one answered. She turned the doorknob. It wasn’t locked. Taking a quick breath, she opened the door.

Jack started and jumped off the couch. His jeans and shirt were rumpled, and his hair stuck out in various spots. Bloodshot eyes seemed to try to focus on her as he wiped his face with his hand. “Pamela!”

Her heartbeat skipped, and thanksgiving flooded her. He was back in Tennessee. Safe. Nothing terrible had happened to him. She could love him and be there for him through the grief of the loss of his mother. She could...

Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a bottle on the desk. A tremor shot through her body when she turned and saw the half-empty liquor container. She looked back at him. Bloodshot eyes. Messed-up hair. Sleeping in his clothes.

He’d been drinking.

She smacked her hands against her thighs. “How could you? How could you come back into our lives after all these years, profess love to all of us then start drinking again?” She leaned forward and pointed at him. “Maybe you never gave it up.” She smacked her thigh again and threw back her head. “Maybe you’ve been drinking all along, and I’m just a complete idiot.”

Balling her fists at her sides, she stared at the framed picture of a wooded area with a stream that hung behind the filing cabinet. “And I came here to tell you I wanted to try...that I’d given my fears to God...and that you and I...”

She peered at him. Confusion ruled his expression. The hangover was clearly keeping him from understanding a word she was saying. “I can’t believe I was such a fool.”

He reached toward her, but she opened the door and walked out of the office. Some woman stepped beside her and asked where she could use the restroom. Pamela ignored her and walked to the door.

“Is everything all right?” asked Teresa.

“No.” Pamela stalked out of the building without another word, fearing she’d tell the woman to take Jack to Timbuktu for all she cared.

Cold rain smacked against her head and face. She didn’t care. Maybe it would simmer down her fury a degree or two.

She lifted her face to the heavens and closed her eyes against the rain. “God, I want to trust You. Help me.”