A Cousin's Promise (4 page)

As Loraine stumbled down the hospital corridor, her breath burned in her lungs. She needed a place to be alone so she could gain control of her emotions before she went out to her driver’s car.

She spotted a women’s restroom and slipped inside. Good, no one was there. She leaned against one of the stalls, fighting back tears of confusion and frustration. She couldn’t believe Wayne didn’t want to marry her anymore. Didn’t he realize she still loved him and wanted to be his wife? It didn’t matter that he only had one leg. It didn’t matter whether he farmed or not. They could work things out if he’d only give them a chance.

As Loraine’s fears took hold, she burst into sobs and continued to sob until she could barely breathe. She went to the sink and splashed cold water on her face, and then she patted it dry with a paper towel.

I’ve got to get a hold of myself before I get into Marge Nelson’s van. If I let her see me like this, she’ll ask questions I’d rather not answer right now.

Once Loraine had composed herself, she left the restroom and headed outside. When she reached the parking lot and climbed into the front seat of Marge’s van, tears welled in her eyes, despite her resolve not to break down.

Marge, who’d been reading a book, buckled her seatbelt and turned to look at Loraine. “You seem upset. Is Wayne doing all right?”

Loraine shook her head. “He’s very depressed and not thinking clearly right now.” The tension in her throat rendered her words to a whisper, and a sense of helplessness crept through her body. If only she could make things better for Wayne. If only...

“Losing a leg has to be a terrible trauma.” Marge turned on the ignition. “All that pain medication he’s taking has probably made his brain fuzzy, too.”

Loraine nodded. Maybe that was all it was. Once Wayne didn’t have to be on so much medication for the pain, he would see things clearly again.

As Priscilla sat at her kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea
,
her gaze came to rest on the quilting rack she kept in the sunroom next to the kitchen. Several months ago, she’d started making a quilt with the double-wedding-ring pattern to give to Loraine and Wayne when they got married. It wasn’t quite finished, but she figured she had plenty of time, since the wedding would have to be postponed until Wayne was feeling better.

Priscilla’s forehead creased as worry set in.
How will things be for my daughter after she marries Wayne? Will he be able to support her? Loraine would probably have to keep working at the hardware store, but her salary alone wouldn’t provide enough for them to live on.

She drank the last of her tea and set the cup aside, then turned in her chair and reached for the notepad on the counter. She needed to stop worrying and make out her grocery list before she went shopping in Shipshewana tomorrow morning.

Rice, pickles, potatoes, coffee, tea, laundry soap
... Her list was quickly growing.

Let’s see now. What else do I need?

Bam!
The back door slammed shut, and Priscilla set the notepad aside.

“Oh, good, I’m glad you’re home,” she said when Loraine entered the room. “I was just making out the grocery list and wondered if there was anything you’d like me to include.”

“No, not really.” Loraine draped her jacket over the back of a chair and sat down with a grunt. Her face looked pale and drawn. Her eyes were red and rimmed with tears. Alarm rose in Priscilla’s chest.

“Daughter, what’s wrong? Has something happened to make you feel
umgerennt?
”

“Jah, I’m feeling very upset. Wayne called off the wedding.” Loraine caught her trembling lips between her teeth. “He—he thinks his life is over because he’s lost his leg. He thinks he’s only half a man.”

“Is it because he won’t be able to farm? Is that what’s bothering him?”

“Partly.”

“Is he afraid he won’t be able to support you?”

“Jah, that too.”

“Maybe it would be best if you didn’t get married.”

Loraine’s eyes widened. “You can’t mean that, Mom.”

“I’m just trying to help you see the facts as they are.” Priscilla’s face grew warm as she fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth. She hoped she could say what was on her heart in a way that wouldn’t upset Loraine any further. “If Wayne thinks you shouldn’t be married, then maybe you ought to respect his decision. He might know what’s best for both of you.”

“Wayne’s not thinking straight! He’s
verhuddelt
about things.” Loraine’s hand shook as she swiped at the tears running down her cheeks. “He needs time to get used to the idea of having only one leg. I’m certain that after a time of healing, Wayne will change his mind about marrying me.”

Priscilla reached over and took Loraine’s hand. “I’m sure Wayne is feeling confused right now, but I want you to give serious thought to what I’m about to say.”

“What is it?”

“Being married to a man with a handicap such as Wayne’s could put additional strain on your marriage. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life taking care of him and dealing with his melancholy moods?”

“He’s only lost a leg, Mom. It’s not like he’s a helpless invalid, and I’m sure in time his moods will improve.”

“I hope so, but there will still be some limitations as to what he can do.”

“Some time ago, I read an article in the paper about a man who’d lost both of his legs, but thanks to a pair of artificial legs, he’s actually running in races. And then there’s a swimmer who—”

“I know there are many who have overcome great odds,” Priscilla interrupted. “But even if Wayne does rise above his circumstances, he’s got a long road ahead of him—both physically and emotionally.”

Loraine’s chair scraped across the linoleum as she pushed away from the table. “I know you mean well, but I promised to marry Wayne, and I intend to keep that promise. I don’t care what sacrifices I might have to make, either.” She moved toward the door. “I’d rather not talk about this anymore.”

“I think we should talk about it. It’s obvious that you’re not thinking straight.”

“Jah, I am.” Loraine grabbed her jacket and outer bonnet. “I’m going for a ride!”

“But you just got home.”

“I need to be alone for a while.”

As the door banged shut behind Loraine, Priscilla made a decision. She would do everything in her power to make sure her daughter didn’t make the biggest mistake of her life.

Loraine headed for the barn to get her horse and shivered as a cluster of heavy, dark clouds moved across the sky. It looked like it might rain. “Well, let it pour,” she mumbled when she reached Trixie’s stall. “It can’t dampen my spirits any more than they already are.”

Memories of Wayne and all the good times they’d had in the past tugged at her heart. A sense of despair crept in, pushing through the tiny cracks of hope she’d been trying to conjure up. What if she couldn’t get Wayne to change his mind about marrying her? How could she go to their biweekly church services and other community gatherings and not burst into tears every time she saw him?

In order to calm herself, Loraine let her mind wander back in time. Back to the night when Wayne asked her to marry him...

“Would you mind if we take a little detour before I take you home?” Wayne asked when they left the Essenhaus Restaurant parking lot.

Loraine looked up at him with curiosity. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” He tweaked her nose. “You’ll see soon enough.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

Half an hour later, Wayne pulled his horse and buggy into a grassy spot near the pond on the other side of his folks’ property.

“How’d you like to live right here?” he asked, turning to face her.

She tipped her head in question.

“Wouldn’t you like our home to be built so it overlooked the pond?”

“Our home?”

A wide smile spread across Wayne’s face.

Loraine moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue.

“Are—are you asking me to marry you?”

He nodded and slipped his arm across her shoulders. “I love you, Loraine. If you’re willing to be my wife, I’d like to build our home right here.”

Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “I’m more than willing, Wayne.”

“Are you sure? I mean, if you still have feelings for—”

She shook her head vigorously. “It’s you I love; no one else.”

“I’m real glad to hear it. Can we be married this fall?”

“Do you think you’ll have the house done by then? Since you’re in the middle of spring planting, there won’t be much time to build a house.”

“That’s true, but I’m sure we can live with my folks until the house is done. Would you be okay with that idea?”

“I—I guess so.” The idea of living in the same house with Wayne’s mother, who could sometimes be rather picky, didn’t set too well with Loraine, but she was sure it wouldn’t be for long.

Wayne pulled Loraine into his arms, and she melted into his embrace. She could hardly wait to become Mrs. Wayne Lambright.

A raw ache settled in the pit of Loraine’s stomach, as her thoughts returned to the present. Would she and Wayne ever get married? Would they live together in the half-finished home he’d begun near the pond?

To dampen her spirits even further, the sky let loose. Rain pelted the front of her buggy. Her hands tingled as she gripped the reins and reminded herself to calm down. She needed to focus on the road ahead and make sure the horse obeyed her commands.

I hope Ella’s at home; I really need to talk to her. I’m sure she’ll be more supportive and understanding than Mom.

Ella had just taken a batch of cinnamon rolls from the oven when she heard the whinny of a horse and the rumble of buggy wheels. She glanced out the window and noticed that it was raining heavily, so she hurried to the door and waited as Loraine climbed down from her buggy.

“Wie geht’s?”
Ella asked when Loraine stepped onto the porch a few minutes later.

“I’ve been better.” Loraine removed her rain-soaked jacket, gave it a good shake, and entered the house. “Are you alone? I really need to talk.”

“My mamm’s not feeling well today, so I insisted she go to her room and rest.” Ella motioned to the kitchen. “I just took some cinnamon rolls from the oven, so I’ll fix us a cup of hot tea and we can have a snack while we visit.”

“I’ll pass on the cinnamon rolls, but a cup of tea sounds good.” The chair creaked as Loraine slid it away from the table. She dropped into it with a sigh. “I went to the hospital to see Wayne this morning.”

Ella poured tea into a cup and handed it to Loraine. “How’s he doing?”

“Not so well. Besides the fact that he’s still very depressed and is in a lot of pain, he called off our wedding.”

Ella nearly dropped the teapot. “You’re kidding!”

“No, I’m not. He also asked me not to visit him at the hospital again.”

Ella took a seat beside Loraine. “Wayne’s still in shock from losing his leg. I’m sure he’ll change his mind once he’s come to grips with his loss.”

“I’ve been telling myself that, but it’s getting harder and harder to have hope—especially when my own
mudder
isn’t supportive.”

“What do you mean?”

Loraine picked up a spoon and swirled it around in her tea, as she explained how her mother thought being married to a man with a handicap would be a burden. “Mom thinks Wayne did the right thing by breaking our engagement. How can it be wrong for two people who love each other to be together?” Her chin quivered. “At least, I think Wayne still loves me.”

“Of course he does. He’s just verhuddelt right now, that’s all.” Ella patted Loraine’s arm in a motherly fashion. “You and Wayne are meant to be together.”

“I think so, too.” Loraine sniffed. “What would I do without you?”

Ella smiled. “That’s what friends and family are for—to offer love and encouragement in the dark times, and to laugh and play together during the good times.”

They sat quietly drinking their tea. The only sound in the room was the hiss and crackle of the log Ella had put on the fire a short time ago.

Finally, Loraine pushed her chair away from the table and stood. “I think I’ll drive over to Aunt JoAnn and Uncle Jeremy’s place and see how Katie’s doing.”

“I’d like to visit Katie, too,” Ella said. “Would you mind if I tag along?”

“Of course not. We can go in my buggy, and I’ll bring you back here on my way home.”

Ella stood. “I’d better check on Mama first, and let her know where I’m going.”

“Better take your umbrella,” Loraine said as she peered out the kitchen window. “It’s still raining pretty hard.”

“Okay.” As Ella left the room, she glanced over her shoulder. Loraine remained at the window with her nose pressed up to the glass.

I wish I could make things better for Loraine,
Ella thought
. I wish I could think of some way to help ease her pain.

“We need to be careful today not to say anything that might upset Wayne,” Crist said to Ada as they walked down the hospital corridor toward Wayne’s room.

She halted and smacked one hand against her hip. “Are you insinuating that I upset our son the last time we came to see him?”

“I’m not insinuating anything.” Crist shrugged. “As you well know, ever since the accident, Wayne gets easily upset. If either of us says the wrong thing, it might set him off.”

“Well, no need to worry; I won’t say anything to upset our son.” Ada hurried down the hall. She couldn’t believe the accusation she’d heard in Crist’s voice. Why, he’d talked to her as if
she
were the reason Wayne had become upset on their last visit! Didn’t Crist realize the reason for Wayne’s sour disposition was because he’d lost his leg?

I’ve never been anything but supportive and helpful.

With her head held high and a smile on her face, Ada stepped into Wayne’s room.

When the door to Wayne’s room swooshed open, he rolled onto his side and opened his eyes.

“How are you feeling today?” Mom asked, stepping up to his bed. Pop was right behind her.

“About the same,” Wayne mumbled.

“Are you in much pain?” Pop asked.

Wayne shook his head. “Only when the pain medicine wears off.”

“Then how come you look like you’re in pain?” Mom asked.

“Loraine was here awhile ago, and I—”

“Did she say something to upset you? Because if she did—”

“No, Mom. I broke things off with her, but now I’m having second thoughts.”

“You called off the wedding?”

Wayne nodded. “But I love Loraine and can’t imagine spending my life without her, so it’s going to be hard for me to—”

Mom patted his shoulder. “You made the right decision. With your handicap, it would be hard for you to support a wife right now. Besides, Loraine’s too demanding. She has high expectations and always wants her way.” Deep wrinkles formed in Mom’s forehead as she shook her head. “I never thought Loraine was the right woman for you.”

Wayne grimaced. “I’ve never seen Loraine as demanding or having high expectations. She’s sweet and even-tempered. She’s—”

“I think we should change the subject,” Pop said.

Wayne ground his teeth. “What shall we talk about—how lousy I feel, and how disappointed I am because God didn’t answer my prayers for a safe trip to Hershey Park?”

Pop placed his hand on Wayne’s shoulder. “Sometimes the answer to our prayers isn’t what we expected. Sometimes God answers by giving us the strength to make it through trials. Other times, He sends someone to help us.” He nodded his head. “Some of our greatest blessings can come because of a prayer that wasn’t answered the way we’d hoped.”

Wayne grunted and turned his head away. “I don’t want any sermons today, and I sure don’t feel blessed.”

“I have some good news for you,” Wayne’s doctor announced as he entered the room, bringing their conversation to a halt. “Barring anything unforeseen, you should be able to go home sometime tomorrow, Wayne.”

“Oh, that’s wunderbaar.” Mom clasped Wayne’s hand and squeezed his fingers. “I’m sure you’ll be a lot more comfortable at home in your own familiar surroundings.”

Wayne nodded mutely. Truth was, he was worried about how things would be for him at home. Would he be able to cope with his disability? Would he be able to farm again? Could he live without Loraine?

Priscilla wrung her hands as she paced from the kitchen table to the window and back again. It gave her no pleasure to upset Loraine, but she felt she’d had the right to say what was on her mind. Loraine wasn’t thinking straight and needed some guidance.

She glanced at the clock on the wall above the refrigerator. Where had Loraine gone, and when was she coming home?

“What time’s supper?” Amos asked when he stepped into the kitchen a few minutes later.

“Whenever Loraine gets home.”

“Where’d she go?”

Priscilla shrugged. “I don’t know. She left several hours ago and hasn’t returned.”

Amos slid one of the chairs away from the table and took a seat. “Loraine’s been through a lot lately. She probably needs some time alone.”

Priscilla sucked in her lower lip. “We ... uh ... had a little disagreement. I think that’s why she left.”

Amos’s eyebrows furrowed. “What was the disagreement about?”

She sat in the chair beside him and quickly related the story of how Loraine had gone to visit Wayne that morning and how he’d broken their engagement.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Amos looked at her with questioning eyes. “What’d
you
say that upset her?”

“I just said that I thought being married to a man with a handicap such as Wayne’s could put a strain on their marriage.”

“Well, no wonder she took off!” Amos glared at her. “You ought to stop meddling and let our daughter make her own decisions. You didn’t interfere in our boys’ lives like that when they all still lived at home.”

Priscilla stiffened. “I wasn’t meddling; I’m just concerned about Loraine and want her to be happy.”

“Then you oughta realize that Loraine’s happiness is with Wayne. She loves him, and that’s why she agreed to marry him.”

“I know that, but—”

“You oughta stop giving unwanted advice and just be supportive.”

“I am being supportive.”

“Whatever.” Amos pushed away from the table. “Ring the bell when supper’s ready.” He rushed out of the house before Priscilla could respond.

“I hope Katie’s doing better than the last time we saw her,” Loraine said as she and Ella headed down the road in her buggy.

Ella nodded. “Katie’s always been kind of excitable, but I’ve never seen her so despondent and unresponsive, like she’s been since Timothy died. I hope she snaps out of it soon.”

“The accident affected everyone, but in different ways. I’m afraid some of us will never be the same.”

Ella reached across the seat and touched Loraine’s arm. “Are you thinking of Wayne?”

“Jah.” Loraine blinked a couple of times, hoping to ward off the tears. Just thinking about the accident made her want to cry. Thinking about Wayne not wanting to marry her made her even more miserable.

“Things will work out between you and Wayne; you’ll see.”

“I—I hope so.” A few tears leaked out and trickled down Loraine’s cheeks. “Everything was going so well before the accident. Wayne and I had our wedding date set, my dress has been made, our home was getting close to being done, and we were moving along with our plans. Unless he changes his mind, there’ll be no wedding for us at all.”

Ella offered a reassuring smile. “We’ll just have to pray that he does.”

Loraine nodded and clucked to her horse to get her moving faster. At the rate Trixie was plodding along, it would be suppertime before they made it to Katie’s, and then they’d have to turn right around and head back home.

They rode in silence the rest of the way, and Loraine forced herself to concentrate on driving her horse and watching out for any cars that might be going too fast or following too close on this rainy day.

When they arrived at the Millers’, they found Katie’s father in the barn, unloading a bunch of hay from the wagon he had parked there.

“Wie geht’s?” he called with a friendly wave. “What brings you by this afternoon?”

“We came to see Katie,” Loraine said. “We wanted to see how she’s doing.”

Uncle Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “She and her mamm took a trip to Sarasota, Florida, to visit Katie’s grandparents. We decided the change of scenery might help Katie deal with the loss of Timothy.”

“This is the first we’ve heard of it,” Ella said. “How come no one told us until now?”

“It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, and I haven’t had a chance to tell anyone yet,” he said.

“How long will they be gone?” Loraine asked.

“Don’t know for sure. Probably a few weeks.” Uncle Jeremy glanced at the hay he’d already stacked along one wall. “I hope you don’t mind, but I need to get back to stacking this hay so I can get some other chores done.”

“Go right ahead. We need to get home and help start supper soon, anyway,” Loraine said. “If you talk to Katie on the phone, would you please tell her that Ella and I said hello and that we’re praying for her?”

“I sure will.” Uncle Jeremy went back to unloading his hay, while Ella and Loraine climbed into the buggy.

“Would you mind stopping by Sara Bontrager’s place on the way home?” Ella asked as Loraine guided the horse onto the road. “Since Sara’s been recently widowed, I’d like to check on her and see if there’s anything she needs.”

“Jah, we can do that,” Loraine replied. Besides doing a good deed for a neighbor, she figured it might take her mind off her own troubles for a while.

A short time later, they pulled into Sara’s place. “If you want to head up to the house, I’ll untie the horse and be in as soon as I’m done,” Loraine said to Ella.

“That’s fine.” Ella climbed out of the buggy and sprinted to the house, rain pelting down on her umbrella as she dodged several puddles.

Once Loraine had the horse secured to the hitching rail, she followed. She found Ella and Sara sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a pot of tea.

“Come join us for some tea and banana bread.” Sara motioned to the chair next to Ella.

After Loraine had taken a seat, Sara passed her a cup of tea and the plate of bread.

Loraine smiled. “Danki.”

Sara smiled in return, revealing a set of crooked teeth.

Well, at least she still has all her own teeth,
Loraine mused.
Many people Sara’s age wear dentures.

“How are things going with you?” Loraine asked the elderly woman.

“I’m getting along fairly well. Even though none of my family live close to me now, my good friends and neighbors check in on me regularly and make sure I have all that I need.” Sara smiled again, a little wider this time. “Of course, once a month the widows in our community get together of an evening and either go out to supper or make a call on someone who’s sick or isn’t able to get out much. It makes me feel needed when I do something like that.”

Ella reached over and clasped Sara’s hand. “We all need to feel needed, and I think it’s wunderbaar that you’re still able to get around and do helpful things for others.”

Sara looked over at Loraine and motioned to the loaf of bread on the table. “Before you came into the house, I was telling Ella that five different people dropped by this week, and each of them gave me some starter for friendship bread. I’ve made several loaves, but I have more starter than I know what to do with.” She grinned at Loraine. “Ella’s taking a loaf of bread and some starter home. Would you like some, too?”

“I’d appreciate the bread,” Loraine said, “but I don’t think I’ll have time to tend the starter or make more bread, so I’d better pass on that.”

“What about your mamm? Would she be able to tend the starter?”

Loraine shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I think I’ll just take the bread if you don’t mind. I will let Mom know that you have some starter, and if she wants any, I’m sure she’ll be over to see you.”

“That’s fine.” Sara took a sip of tea. “How are you two doing since that horrible accident? Are you fairly well healed of your injuries?”

“I wasn’t seriously hurt,” Ella said. “Just a mild concussion and some nasty bumps and bruises.”

“Bumps and bruises were all I had, too, but I wish we could say the same for the others who were in the van.” Loraine sighed. “We just came from our cousin Katie’s, and her
daed
said Katie and her mamm went to Sarasota for a while.”

“That’s right,” Ella interjected. “Katie’s folks are hoping some time away might help Katie recover from the shock of losing Timothy.”

“It’s such a shame when someone so young passes on.” Sara looked at Ella with sympathy. “I’m sure you and your family must miss your bruder.”

A muscle on the side of Ella’s cheek quivered. “My mamm’s taken it the hardest, but in time, I’m sure she’ll come to grips with Raymond’s death.”

Sara looked at Loraine. “How’s your boyfriend doing? It must have been a real shock for him to lose a leg like that.”

Loraine nodded. She glanced at Ella, hoping she wouldn’t mention that Wayne had called off the wedding.

Sara patted Loraine’s hand. “If you and Wayne commit everything to God, and if you’ll seek His will in all things, I’m certain that it will work out just as it should.”

Loraine dabbed at her damp cheeks with a napkin. She hoped Sara was right about things working out. She had so many doubts swirling around in her head. She’d never admit it to anyone, but Loraine’s greatest fear was that she and Wayne might never get married.