A Cousin's Promise (5 page)

“Are you warm enough, son?”

Wayne nodded as his mother draped a small quilt across his lap.

“Are you certain? I can add another log to the fire if you’re cold.”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Are you sure you’re comfortable enough lying on the sofa, or would you rather go to your room and rest awhile?”

Wayne gritted his teeth. Ever since he’d come home from the hospital this afternoon, Mom had hovered over him like a moth drawn to a flame. It was bad enough that he had to deal with the phantom pain he’d begun experiencing and try to get used to maneuvering around their house with his wheelchair. Did Mom have to smother him to death, as well?

Makes me wish I was back in the hospital,
he thought.
At least there, they encouraged me to do some things on my own, and they didn’t ask me every few minutes if I needed anything or was comfortable enough.

Wayne stared at the flames rising from the wood in the fireplace across the room.
I wonder if anything in my life will ever feel normal again. Should I have let Loraine know I was coming home today? What if she goes to the hospital to see me and finds that I’ve gone?

He scrubbed a hand down his face.
What am I thinking? I broke
up with Loraine yesterday, so she’d have no reason to go to the hospital to see me today.

With a sense of urgency, Loraine hurried down the hospital corridor toward Wayne’s room. She’d lain awake much of the night, thinking and praying about her situation with Wayne. She loved him and had made a commitment to become his wife. She wanted to rub away any tension Wayne felt today and hoped what she had to say to him might cause him to change his mind about marrying her.

As she approached Wayne’s room, she said a quick prayer for guidance. Then, feeling a little more confident, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

She blinked a couple of times and stared at his bed. It was empty and looked like it had been freshly made. Maybe Wayne was in another part of the hospital having physical therapy.

She left the room and hurried to the nurses’ station. “Excuse me,” she said to the nurse behind the counter. “I just came from Wayne Lambright’s room, and he wasn’t there. Do you know if he’s having physical therapy right now?”

The nurse shook her head. “Mr. Lambright went home earlier today.”

“He did?”

“Yes. His parents came to get him about two hours ago.”

“Oh, I see.” Loraine turned from the counter, feeling as if she were in a daze. She thought Wayne would have called and left a message on her folks’ answering machine in the phone shed they shared with the neighbors. She thought he cared enough about her to let her know that he planned to come home, but apparently she was wrong.

Tears blurred her vision as she stumbled down the hall and out the door. As soon as they got back to Goshen, she’d ask Marge to drop her off at Wayne’s. She needed to speak to him today!

Loraine arrived at Wayne’s house later that day, and her heart began to pound when his mother answered the door.

“Is—is Wayne here? When I went to the hospital, they said he’d gone home.”

Ada nodded, a grim expression on her face. “Wayne’s sleeping, and I don’t want to disturb him right now. The trip home from the hospital took a lot out of him, and he’s in a great deal of pain.”

“I thought the pain medication took care of his pain.”

“It did, but now he has more than the aftermath of his surgery pain to deal with.”

“What do you mean?”

“The phantom pains have set in.”

“Oh, I see. Wayne mentioned that those would likely occur.”

Ada’s pinched expression didn’t change. “The doctor said it was likely to happen, but we had no idea it would start this soon or be this bad.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is it all right if I come inside and wait until Wayne’s awake? I really need to talk to him.”

Ada shook her head. “That’s not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

Loraine leaned on the porch railing, feeling the need for some support. She didn’t care for the cold reception she was getting from Wayne’s mother. She’d been dealing with a lot of Ada’s icy treatment since the accident.

Loraine moistened her lips. “You probably know that Wayne broke our engagement.”

“Jah, and that means things are over between you and him.” Ada folded her arms and glared at Loraine as if daring her to say otherwise.

Loraine grimaced. She didn’t understand this sudden hostility. Until the accident, Ada had never acted like this toward her.

“I’m hoping Wayne will change his mind and realize that the loss of his leg doesn’t change anything between us.” She moved away from the railing, feeling a bit more confident. “I want Wayne to know that I’m still his best friend, and that I love—”

“You can do that best by staying away from here. He needs time to heal without a lot of demands and expectations put upon him.”

Loraine’s skin prickled. “I wasn’t planning to make demands or put expectations on Wayne. I just want him to know how much I love him and want to help in any way I can.”

“Are you’re hoping to change his mind about marrying you?”

Loraine nodded. She couldn’t deny it, even though she knew it wasn’t what Wayne’s mother wanted to hear. “What have you got against me, Ada?” she dared to ask. “Have I said or done something to offend you?”

Ada’s gaze dropped to the porch floor. “I—I just think my son has enough to deal with right now without taking on the responsibility of a wife and family.”

“He wouldn’t have to do it alone. I’m willing to help in any way I can.”

Ada lifted her gaze. “Be that as it may, Wayne has a long road ahead of him. He won’t be ready to even think about marriage for a long time to come.”

“I realize that, and I’m willing to wait.”

Ada rubbed her hands briskly over her arms. “It’s getting cold out here, and I need to check on the chicken I have baking in the oven. So if you’ll excuse me...”

Loraine gave a quick nod, turned, and started down the stairs. “Please tell Wayne I was here,” she called over her shoulder. “Oh, and let him know that I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

Wayne squinted at the invading light streaming through his bedroom window, letting him know it was morning. He’d had a fitful night, tossing, turning, dreaming, and soaking his sheets with sweat. The pain he felt where his leg had once been was so intense at times he thought he’d go mad. The medicine they’d given him for pain had barely taken the edge off. He wished there was something he could do to alleviate his discomfort. He didn’t think he could endure the pain if it went on too long.

Gritting his teeth, he pulled himself to a sitting position, took one step, and fell back on the bed with a groan. It had seemed so normal to be back in his own bed, he’d forgotten he only had one leg. He glanced at his stump and noticed that it had started to shrink. Another thing the doctor had told him would happen.

He reached for the handles of his wheelchair and swung it around. Then, hopping on one foot, he positioned himself in front of the wheelchair and sat down.

“Everything I do takes such effort,” he mumbled. “I wonder if it’ll ever get any easier for me.” At least Mom had moved most of his things to the downstairs bedroom, and he didn’t have to navigate the steps on one leg. The wheelchair wouldn’t work on steps, either, which was why Pop had built a ramp leading to the back porch.

Mom and Pop have done all they can to make my life easier,
Wayne thought as he slipped his arms into a long-sleeved cotton shirt.
I ought to be grateful and quit feeling sorry for myself, but in my circumstances, that’s easier said than done.

Wayne closed his eyes, and an image of Loraine popped into his head. It had only been two days since he’d last seen her, but already he missed her—more than he missed his leg. His arms longed to hold her. His fingers ached to stroke her soft skin. His lips yearned to kiss hers. If only they could be together. If things could just be as they’d once been. If he could only undo the past, he would....

His eyes snapped open, and he shook his head. All the
if only
s in the world wouldn’t change a thing. He’d lost a leg, and he wouldn’t be getting it back. He’d made a decision not to marry Loraine, and he wouldn’t be changing his mind.

“I’m heading out now, Mom,” Loraine said as she grabbed her jacket from the wall peg where she’d hung it the night before.

Mom’s eyebrows raised. “Why are you leaving so early for work? You don’t have to be at the hardware store for another couple of hours.”

“I want to stop by the Lambrights’ on my way to Shipshewana and see how Wayne’s getting along. Since he was asleep when I stopped there yesterday, I didn’t get the chance to talk to him.”

“What are you going to talk about—your broken engagement?”

Loraine nodded. “That, plus a few other things.”

Mom opened her mouth like she was going to say something more, but she snapped it shut and turned back to the dishes she’d been drying.

“I’ll see you when I get home from work this afternoon.” Loraine turned and headed out the door.

As soon as she started across the lawn, she spotted Dad coming out of the barn, leading Trixie.

“Figured you’d be leaving for work soon, so I decided to get your horse hitched to the buggy,” he called to Loraine.

She stepped up to him and smiled. “Danki, Dad. That was thoughtful of you. Especially since I’m leaving earlier than usual today.”

“Going by to see Wayne on the way to Shipshewana?”

She nodded. “He came home from the hospital yesterday, and I want to see how he’s doing.”

Dad placed a gentle hand on her arm. “I was sorry to hear Wayne called off the wedding. Sorry to hear you and your mamm had a disagreement about him, too.”

“Mom doesn’t understand how I feel about things.” Tears welled in Loraine’s eyes. “She’s always had more understanding for James, Harold, Earl, and Ben than she has for me.”

Dad shook his head. “I don’t believe that. I just think that since your
brieder
are all married, and you’re the only one of our kinner still living at home, your mamm worries about you more.” He pulled Loraine to his side and gave her a hug. “Your mamm loves you a lot. Surely you know that.”

“I do know it, but I wish she’d let me make my own decisions without interference. She doesn’t think Wayne can take care of me now that he’s lost a leg.” Loraine sighed. “Of course, Wayne thinks he can’t, either, so I’m really outnumbered.”

“It’ll all work out in the end; you’ll see.”

Loraine forced a smile. At least somebody was on her side.

“Did you get enough to eat?” Mom pointed to Wayne’s plate. “You hardly touched your poached eggs.”

“I’m not that hungry this morning,” he said. “The pain medicine has made my stomach upset.”

“That’s because you took it without eating first.” Mom shook her head. “You need to follow the instructions on the bottle.”

“Stop badgering him, Ada,” Pop spoke up. “He’s a grown man, not a little
buwe.
”

She turned in her chair and glared at him. “Don’t you think I know that? I’m just trying to make things easier for him.”

“Then stop badgering.”

“I’m not.”

“Jah, you sure are.”

Unable to listen to his parents’ squabbling a moment longer, Wayne pushed his wheelchair away from the table and propelled it across the floor. The biggest trouble with being an only child was that Mom had no one to fuss over but him, and sometimes she could be downright overbearing.

Wayne was almost to the hallway when a knock sounded on the door. “I’ll get it!” he called before Mom could come running.

When he opened the back door, he was surprised to see Loraine on the porch.

“Wie geht’s?” she asked with a smile.

“I’m doin’ as well as can be expected.”

“Can I come in? I’d like to talk to you.”

“Jah, I guess it’ll be okay.” He opened the door wider. “My folks are about done with breakfast, but I’m sure there’s still some coffee left if you’d like some.”

“A cup of coffee would be nice.”

Wayne pushed the door closed and headed back to the kitchen. He couldn’t help but notice the scowl on Mom’s face when Loraine entered the room with him. He hoped Loraine hadn’t noticed.

“
Guder mariye,
” Loraine said, smiling at Mom and then Pop.

“Morning,” they said in unison.

“I invited Loraine in for a cup of coffee.” Wayne looked at Mom. “Is there still some in the coffeepot?”

She nodded, frowned, and pushed away from the table. When she returned with a cup of coffee for Loraine, she was still frowning.

“Danki.” Loraine took a seat at the table and looked over at Wayne. “I came by yesterday, but you were sleeping. So I decided to stop on my way to work this morning and see how you’re doing.”

“He’s got an upset stomach,” Mom said before Wayne could respond. “Didn’t eat much breakfast because of it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Do you think you’re getting the flu?” Loraine asked Wayne.

He shook his head. “The pain medicine upsets my stomach.” “That’s because you took it without eating first.” Mom reached for the teapot sitting in the center of the table, poured some into a cup, and handed it to Wayne. “Drink some of this peppermint tea, and I’m sure it’ll settle your stomach.”

Wayne set the cup down. “I don’t care for any tea—especially not peppermint. I never did like the taste of it.”

“Well, I’d like you to at least try a little bit,” Mom insisted.

Pop poked Mom’s arm. “You’re doing it again, Ada.”

“Doing what?”

“Badgering.”

“I’m only trying to make him feel better.”

Loraine fiddled with the edge of the tablecloth, obviously uncomfortable. “When I was here yesterday,” she said, lifting her gaze to meet Wayne’s, “your mamm said you were in a lot of pain.”

Wayne was about to speak when Mom butted in.

“Like I told you then, Wayne’s been having some terrible phantom pains.”

“How come you didn’t tell me Loraine was here to see me yesterday?” Wayne asked, leaning close to Mom.

She shrugged. “You were asleep. By the time you woke up, I’d gotten busy and forgot.”

Wayne ground his teeth. He had a feeling Mom had deliberately not mentioned Loraine’s visit. Mom clearly didn’t care for Loraine anymore, and he didn’t understand why.

They sat in silence for a while; finally, Loraine drank her coffee and pushed away from the table. “I’d better go. I don’t want to be late for work.” She moved toward the door, but hesitated as though there was something else on her mind.

“I’ll see you out,” Wayne was quick to say. He sure didn’t want Mom walking Loraine to the door.

Once they were on the porch, Loraine turned to him and said, “There was another reason I came by today, only I didn’t want to say it with your folks sitting there.”

“What’s that?”

“I wanted to know if you’ve reconsidered your decision not to marry me.”

Wayne’s heart began to pound. Loraine was everything he wanted in a wife. Yet he loved her too much to strap her with a cripple who couldn’t even support them by doing what he loved best.

“My answer’s still the same,” he mumbled. “And if you’re gonna keep bringing up the subject, then I think it’d be best if you didn’t come over here at all anymore.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“I do mean it. In fact, it might be best for both of us if we didn’t see each other except at church.”

She stared at him several seconds, tears welling in her eyes. Then she sprinted down the stairs and raced to the hitching rail where her horse and buggy waited.

Exhausted and fighting the phantom pain once again, Wayne turned his wheelchair around and entered the house. With only a glance in Mom’s direction, he wheeled down the hall and into his room. He didn’t have the energy to deal with anything else.

As Loraine guided her horse and buggy down the road, she replayed some of the things that had been said during her visit with Wayne. Every time she saw Ada, it became more obvious that the woman didn’t care for her. And every time she saw Wayne, he seemed to withdraw from her all the more. Even so, Loraine’s heart longed to be his wife.

How could he have suggested that I not come over to see him anymore?
she fretted.
I was so sure if he had a few days to think things over he’d have changed his mind about his decision not to marry me.

Tears stung the backs of her eyes, and she blinked multiple times in order to keep them from spilling onto her cheeks.
I still think that at least part of Wayne’s rejection has something to do with
his mother’s dislike of me. If I could only think of something to do that would make Ada accept me, maybe Wayne would change his mind. Oh, I wish I knew what to do.

More tears came as Loraine passed the one-room schoolhouse where Jolene used to teach. Dorene Lehman, Timothy’s thirty-year-old unmarried sister, taught there now, but it was just until the school board could find a permanent teacher. Dorene was planning to move to a small town in Montana soon.

My cousin was well liked at this place,
Loraine thought as she slowed her horse and studied the two-story wooden structure where she, too, had gone to school.
The scholars must miss Jolene terribly. Jolene’s probably missing them a lot, as well.

Loraine gripped the reins a little tighter.
I, too, miss Jolene, and also Katie. We four cousins were always so close. In times past, I could go to any of them for comfort when I was upset about something. Now Katie and Jolene are gone, and Ella’s so busy trying to comfort her mother and take care of things at their home that I feel guilty for bothering her with my problems. Wayne’s pushed me away, and Mom doesn’t understand me at all. I feel almost friendless right now.

Beep! Beep!
Loraine startled when she realized that her buggy had drifted into the wrong lane, and she gasped when she saw that a car was coming straight at her!