A Complicated Love (Complicated Love #1) (7 page)

I don’t hear from Joshua for the rest of the week. I’m so angry at the way he spoke to me.

How could he imply that it was my fault?

It takes two to make a baby. I’m sitting in my living room with my feet up on the coffee table watching a God awful film that I don’t even know the name of. I have my spoon buried in a tube of
‘Ben and Jerry’s.’
Ice cream always makes stressful situations that much easier to deal with. Tracy comes bouncing into the living room.

“Hey, can I borrow that purple dress you have that you never wear? Pleassse?” She puts her palms together as if she’s praying.

“Sure… it’s… in my wardrobe,” I say while shoveling ice cream into my mouth. “Where are you going anyway?” I see she has makeup plastered on her face.

“I have this work function tonight.” She bounces down the hall to my room where I can hear her rustling through my wardrobe. I haven’t told her about the baby yet. I don’t know how. She’s been so busy lately, and she leaves for Los Angeles in one week’s time.

“Right, I’m out of here. Have a nice night.” She rushes to the front door and as she opens  it, Joshua is standing there with his hand raised as if ready to knock.

“Um… hi. Is Annabelle in?” Tracy looks over her shoulder at me.

“Yep, she is, come in. Annabelle it’s for you,” she sings songs and winks at me before walking out the door.

Oh God, Joshua’s here?

I rush to the kitchen and dump the tub of
‘Ben and Jerry’s’
in the sink. I look down at myself and cringe. I’m wearing black, baggy lounge trousers and a white tank top with no bra. I haven’t even brushed my hair. I look terrible. Well, there’s not much I can do about it now, so I casually walk back into the living room to see Joshua seated on the sofa with his elbows on his knees, staring straight ahead. He looks like he hasn’t slept and he looks deep in thought. He’s wearing dark blue jeans and a light blue T-shirt with some sort of design on the front I can’t make out. Taking a deep breath, I go over and sit in the armchair across from him. I don’t say anything as I’m not sure what to say.

Maybe he’s here to tell me he doesn’t want the baby?

“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch with you sooner. I just needed a bit of time. I apologize for being so harsh when I found out. It was uncalled for, and I shouldn’t have been so rude.” He looks over at me and I’m happy to see his eyes are not as cold as they once were toward me.

“It’s okay. I know it was a lot to take in, given we hardly know each other.” He laughs and shakes his head.

“Yea.” He frowns. “How are you feeling? Have you got a doctor’s appointment?”

“I’m feeling much better. My appetite is back and I haven’t been sick in a few days. I haven’t made an appointment yet, but I will make one for this week. Would you like to come with me?” I nervously play with my fingers in my lap while I wait for his reply.

“I would like to, yes. Hand me your mobile.” I grab my mobile of the coffee table and pass it to him. He types something in and seconds later his mobile rings. He passes it back.

“I’ve programmed my mobile number in and rang mine. I have your number now for whenever you need me or have an appointment. Send me a text and I will be there.” He smiles a real smile… finally a real smile and it’s directed at me. He’s being so good about this and I’m happy it’s going this well.

Maybe this could be a turning point for us?

“Okay, well, I have to go meet Tammy, so I’ll give you a call later to see how you are?” My good feeling plummets.

He’s going to meet Tammy!

I’m consumed with jealousy that he’s going to meet her.

But then I have to remind myself that he isn’t mine. He shrugs on his jacket that he hung on the coat rack and makes his way to the door.

“See you later.” And with that, he disappears out the door.

I slump back in the armchair with my arms folded across my chest. I can’t expect him to not see anyone. At least he wants to be involved in the baby’s life, even if he doesn’t want me. A single tear rolls down my cheek. I decide to grab an early night. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully everything will look better in the morning.

I will never forget meeting Annabelle. I knew she was the one for me the minute she stepped into my office. The only way I could see her every day was to give her the job as my PA. It was a bonus that she’s good at what she does. Before her interview, I had two mediocre ones. Tammy was Tammy. I couldn’t employ her because I used to date her and to top that off she is a complete bitch. Yea, she broke it off with me, but she was so much like a child that I thank my lucky stars she did break it off.

Madison seemed lovely, but she was a bit too perfect.
How can she be too perfect, you ask?
She has no personality and seemed like a bit of a dud. I know that’s harsh to say, but I knew it as soon as Annabelle walked into my office, she was the one. She affected me like no other ever has. My heart was fluttering, my palms were sweating and I had to give myself a pep talk about remembering to breathe.

What an idiot I am!

So when I saw her at Sienna’s, I had to speak to her. I never let on that I own the place. I got this job because I took over from my dad when he passed away, but the nightclub was mine. Something I’ve worked for on my own. I’m really proud of the work I put into it.

I miss my dad. He had an accident when we were on a skiing holiday in Switzerland with my mum and my younger sister, Danielle. My dad was very adventurous as well as a very successful businessman. There was a big chute that my dad thought would be great to ski down. He wasn’t an experienced skier and I knew he shouldn’t go down it. The chute was steep and narrow and was surrounded by rocks on either side. He seemed to be doing great when he started, but then he was getting too near the edges and the next thing we knew he had gone over.

My dad hit his head on a rock and was unconscious. He was airlifted to a hospital and we were told he was in a coma and they weren’t sure if he would make it. When we could, he was flown back to London to the London Bridge Hospital, a private hospital. He was there for months, not showing any signs of improvement. The dreaded day came when the doctor told my mother that he wasn’t going to regain consciousness and it was her decision about what to do. I remember the pain I felt, knowing this was it.

My dad was never coming back. My mum and Danielle didn’t take it so well, and I had to step up and look after them. It was a month later before my mum could face the decision to turn the machines off. It was the hardest day of my life. My mum and Danielle were sobbing uncontrollably and all I felt was numb.

Not long after that, I stepped up and took over running Lynn Publishing. I knew my dad wanted me to take over the company one day, so that was what I did. I did it for my dad and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

What happened that night at Sienna’s was earth-shattering. I wanted Annabelle and I flirted with her all night. I was slightly drunk, but I knew what I was doing and I couldn’t help it. Ending up at her apartment… I didn’t mean to, but when she looked at me and asked me in, I couldn’t say no. I hated how I treated her afterwards. I regret the things I said. She was my new PA and it was unprofessional to sleep with her even though I wanted to.

My dad never liked employees dating in the workplace, and always frowned upon it so when I took over the company I applied the same rules. I never thought I’d be the one to want to break my own rule. That’s why I was cold toward her. I wanted to keep her at a distance. To me, she was a distraction. I know it sounds harsh, but since my dad passed away I’ve managed to build this company into what it is today, and I never thought I’d want a woman in my life as much as I do Annabelle. So I was rude and cold toward her.

I hate thinking about the way I was with her. I went to Sienna’s on the last night of the two week holiday, got completely drunk and woke up the next day with Tammy in my bed. I still can’t remember what happened, but I can’t seem to get rid of her now. That morning she came into work with me, was the day Annabelle walked in on us in my office. It looked really bad with Tammy sitting on my desk and me standing between her legs. She was only telling me that she was glad we were friends again and that she missed me.

I told her that I didn’t want anything else to happen and she was really good about it. I was so relieved, but when Annabelle walked in and saw us, my heart stopped. I saw the smirk on Tammy’s lips and I knew she did it on purpose. I was so rude to Annabelle again because I was ashamed to be caught like that with Tammy. I didn’t know what Annabelle thought, and I cared what she thought. Things just got worse from there. Tammy kept turning up at the office, and every time Annabelle was around she would be touching me or kissing my cheek. I saw the disappointment on Annabelle’s face and I hated it.

When I noticed how sick Annabelle was, and I was so worried about her. I didn’t know what to do, and I was really concerned about the amount of times she was being sick. When I called her into my office, it was to find out what was wrong and give her a few days leave or even a week. Whatever she needed to get back to full health. When she told me she wasn’t sick, I was confused.

She looked scared and she wouldn’t talk to me or tell me anything. The way she was chewing on her lip made me nervous. She was physically sick countless times and she looked very tired. I don’t know why, but I asked if it had anything to do with the night we’d spent together. I don’t even know why I asked… really I don’t? When she nodded her head, my heart stopped beating and I couldn’t control my breathing.

I knew… I knew she was pregnant.

My reaction was screwed up. I can’t believe I blamed her, and I feel awful for my reaction but it was such a shock. I wanted her so much that night that I wasn’t thinking. I’ve never slept with anyone without protecting myself. It was my fault as much as hers. I needed time to get my head around it. I stayed away from her and gave her space. I pretty much avoided her at work by taking work home with me, and I had a couple of days off as well. I realised how pathetic and stupid I was being, so when I turned up at her apartment I was ready to have a chat. When I saw her again, she was even more beautiful, even in her baggy trousers and tank top. I was worried about her and talking to her made my day. Knowing she was doing all right was brilliant to hear.

I gave her my mobile number in case she ever needs me. It may have been a shock, but I’m the father of this baby and I want to be there. I’m going to be there for both of them. I’m making my way right now to see Tammy. I had a date with her, not a romantic date. It was just a meal with her at this new restaurant that she wanted me to take her to. I’m going to make her realise tonight that we will never be anything else, and if she can’t accept that then we can’t be friends. I may not know everything about Annabelle, but she’s carrying my child, and I will make sure that Annabelle and my baby are looked after. I don’t know what will happen with Annabelle, but if I have anything to do with it, I will win her heart too.