A Complicated Love (Complicated Love #1) (5 page)

I’m really enjoying my job. Wendy is fantastic to me and has taught me so much in the last three weeks. I’m getting pretty good at using the laptop. Go me! Everyone I’ve met has been really nice. I’ve been to a few meetings where I’ve taken notes and, so far so good. I have managed to type up my notes as well with no problems. So well, that Joshua hasn’t had cause to complain.

Joshua is still a sore subject. We haven’t spoken that much since I started working here. I don’t know what I expected, but it sure wasn’t this. I see him sometimes glancing at me when he thinks I’m not looking. I can’t help looking, and I can’t help thinking about him. I don’t understand how I can have such a strong attraction for a man that I slept with once and he made me feel so ashamed. I don’t even know anything about him. We are practically strangers, but I can’t help the way I feel.
I want to know him.
I want to see him smile at me again instead of this hard, cold look he presents me with whenever we are in close proximity. I thought it would get better, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be at all.

This is the last day of the week before the office closes for the two week Christmas break and Wendy’s last day. I’m going to miss her. She’s been a lovely friend and colleague. I make it into the office ten minutes before 9:00 a.m. Wendy’s already in the office and she’s sitting at her desk, typing.

“Hi Wendy, it’s freezing out there today. I can’t believe this is your last day. I’m going to miss you.” I frown, thinking that Wendy has made this job fun and a part of me is nervous about being Joshua’s only PA after today.

“I’m going to miss you too, and all my friends. I’ve worked here for thirty years even when Mr. Lynn’s father was my boss.”

“Wait… Mr. Lynn’s father used to work here?” I’m intrigued by this information.

Wendy continues typing her document. “Yea, Mr. Lynn replaced his father when he had a terrible accident that left him in a coma. I don’t remember a lot about the accident, but I do know that he never regained consciousness. Mr. Lynn took over the company about eight years ago and has been doing a wonderful job. He’s just like his dad. It was such a traumatic time for the family. Mr. Lynn’s mother wasn’t coping very well, and it took a while for her to continue forward.”

It seems Joshua has been through some traumatic stuff.
Maybe this is why he doesn’t want a relationship happening in his workplace?
He has taken over his dad’s company and obviously has continued building a great business. Since Wendy seems talkative, I plough forward hoping to find out more about Joshua.

“Does Jos-Mr. Lynn have any siblings?” Nearly slipped up there, but I smile and hope she doesn’t realise. “Yea, he has a younger sister, Danielle. She’s at Oxford University studying Art. She’s hoping to have her paintings up in the art museums eventually here in London. She really is very talented.” Wendy giggles. “I’m sure she will do it. She’s a very determined young lady.” She giggles again. “Well, I’m going to head to the coffee room and get a coffee. Do you want anything, Annabelle?” She finishes up on the laptop and straightens her desk.

“No, thank you. I might just start this filing that needs doing.” I collect the files from the desk and start work.

I hear the intercom buzz. “Hi Mr. Lynn, how can I help?” I say in the happiest voice I can muster.

“Miss Connor, I have a meeting this morning at 11.30 a.m. so I need the meeting room set up for twelve people, please?

“Not a problem Mr. Lynn, I’ll get on it right away.” I walk to the meeting room and begin to set it up for the meeting. Joshua seems in a good mood today. I always dread a meeting because Joshua uses every means necessary not to look or even acknowledge me, so maybe this meeting won’t be so bad since he’s in a good mood. I make sure the tea and coffee trolley is stocked and ensure that every space has a notepad and pen ready for each individual. Five minutes later and I sit back in my seat at the back of the room as twelve smartly dressed men and women come in through the meeting room door. Not long after they have all taken a seat, Joshua walks in.

Every time he walks into a room, I can’t help but stare. He’s gorgeous and he’s wearing another one of his fabulous suits, this one is navy.  While Joshua performs his welcome speech, I push the trolley around and take everyone’s order for tea or coffee. I make my way around and when Joshua has finished, everyone talks amongst themselves.

“Mr. Lynn, would you like coffee?”

Joshua looks up at me. “Yes please, you know how I like it.” He smiles a real smile. I think my knickers have just melted. I make his coffee and hand it to him. His fingers gently brush mine when I hand him the mug. There’s an electric spark between us that I feel flowing through me. His eyes are alight with want and desire, and I just want to lean forward and brush my lips against his. Before I know it, he pulls away and the moment has gone. I sit back down in my seat. My skin is on fire with one simple touch. I know my face is bright red, so I keep my head down and take notes for the rest of the meeting.

After the meeting, I’m the first one out of the room. I race to the office and shut the door while trying to regulate my heartbeat.
How can he do this to me?
I shake my head to clear away those thoughts and take a seat at the desk to start typing up my notes. The day drags on and I’m so glad when home time arrives. I haven’t seen Wendy for most of the day, but as I’m walking to the lift I spot her in the hallway. She sees me and heads on over.

“Are you off now, Annabelle?”

“Yea, I’ve finished all my work so no overtime for me tonight. It was nice working with you Wendy, and thank you for teaching me this job. I don’t know if I could have done it without you.” I give her a watery smile.

“That’s quite all right. I’m staying back a bit, just to pack my things. Take care, dear.” She gives me a hug and walks back to the office we have shared since I started here. I’m really going to miss her. I get into the lift and I hear my mobile ringing, so I pull it out.

“Hi Aunt Sylvia, how are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine darling, keeping busy. Look, I’m off work now until the New Year, so how about you come and stay with me for the holidays? It would be great to see you, and I will make your favourite chocolate chip cookies?”

I laugh. “Sounds great. Tracy is going away for the holidays so it’ll be nice to spend some time with you.”

She squeals in my ear. “Okay, I’ll see you soon. Bye bye.” She hangs up.

I walk out of Lynn Publishing and spot Joshua getting into his company car. We seem to have a magnetic pull because he turns and looks straight at me for a fleeting moment before he gets in his car and drives away. I sigh and head back home. It might be good to get away for a bit and clear my head. Maybe by the time I get back, I won’t be thinking about Joshua every second of every day?
Yea, not likely!

Two weeks later

I loved spending the holidays with Aunt Sylvia. She lives in Harrow on the outskirts of London, so when I go to see her I always travel on the London Underground. As soon as I arrived, there was homemade chocolate chips cookies on the kitchen table. My mouth was salivating by the time I grabbed a glass of milk and a cookie. When I was little, Aunt Sylvia would always make chocolate chip cookies, and she always used to tell me that they went great with a tall glass of milk. Yep, she was right.

Aunt Sylvia waited until I was there to hang the Christmas decorations, so we spent almost a whole day just decorating. She always likes getting a real tree, they look so fantastic. The place looked really Christmassy and I was feeling so much better about the
‘situation’
with Joshua.

Aunt Sylvia cooked a beautiful Christmas dinner. We had roast beef, roast potatoes and mashed potatoes, stuffing, Brussel sprouts, carrots, parsnips and cabbage. I was stuffed. For desert, she made an apple pie with her homemade custard. She offered me Christmas pudding and cream too, but I had to decline. I was going to pop. I felt I’d eaten enough for an entire year in just one sitting! We spent the rest of Christmas day, chilling out and watching classic films on television. Everything from
‘Home Alone’
to
‘The Snowman
.’

Saying goodbye was the hardest. I don’t get to see Aunt Sylvia very much, but she sent me away with a big bag of chocolate chip cookies. Yes, I know, I’m going to have two bellies at this rate, but they’re so delicious.

On the way back from Aunt Sylvia’s, I got a call from Tracy telling me she’s on assignment for her work, and she’s gone to Los Angeles for a month. Something to do with fashion, I know that much. She’s a fashion designer and sometimes travels all over for shows, so I’m assuming that’s what she’s doing.

It’s Monday morning and I’m on my way back into work after the holidays. I wanted to forget about Joshua, but he’s always there at the back of my mind. He’s got under my skin and I can’t stop this obsession with him. I’m in my office and going through all the filing that was left to do before the holidays. There’s a lot of it, so I better get cracking. I’ve realised that I’ve forgotten to make Mr. Lynn in his coffee, so I head down to the coffee room. I make his coffee, strong, black with two sugars and proceed to his office. For some reason, I forget to knock. I don’t know why, but I just don’t think about it. I put my hand on the doorknob and turn the handle. I walk in and stop dead in my tracks. I see Tammy sitting on Joshua’s desk. She’s wearing a
too
tight white mini skirt yet again and a light pink blouse that has buttons which she’s had trouble doing up, seeing as how her buttons are done up to just below the bottom of her bra. Her boobs are literally spilling out of her top. Standing in between her legs is Joshua. She’s stroking his chest through his shirt and smiling up at him with flirtatious eyes.

My heart starts beating really fast and I feel this pain in my chest. I can’t breathe. He’s giving her a genuine smile that makes me so jealous. I want him to look at me like that. I clear my throat and both pairs of eyes snap to me.

“Um… Here’s your coffee, Mr. Lynn.” I walk toward the desk and hand it to him. He looks annoyed.

“Why didn’t you knock? You don’t just walk in unannounced.” He glares at me. My face flushes scarlet.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” I look over at Tammy and she’s giving me the stink eye. She hops off the desk and kisses Joshua’s cheek before addressing me.

“Oh, hi Annabelle, congrats on the job. I’m sure you’ll do wonderfully. Getting people coffee seems just your thing.” She laughs and saunters toward the door. “Bye Joshua baby. See you later.” She blows him a kiss over her shoulder as she walks out the door.

There’s an awkward silence between Joshua and I. We are just staring at one another.

“Um… I… I better get back to work.” I turn around and quickly walk back to my office.

What’s he doing with Tammy and why will she be seeing him later?

I hate this feeling.
Am I jealous, angry, upset?
I just can’t decide. He really means it when he said we were a mistake. Maybe Tammy was right and he is still in love with her. I’ve been a fool crushing on my boss, hoping that he will say ‘screw it’ and touch me again. Make me feel alive with one touch. His kisses and his caresses flash through my mind. I want him. I can’t deny it, but he’s taken.

I have to stop this!
I have to stop thinking about him.

I stand up straight, with my head held high. I compose myself and continue the job I was doing before I made Joshua his coffee… I finish my filing.