most about being with Victor was how often they’d laughed. Though they were opposites
in many ways, they’d always shared the same sense of humor.
Victor adjusted his body to the middle of the back seat and laughed. He smiled
and said, “I love embracing
coitus
with you.” Then his hips went forward; he spread his
legs wide, and rested his head on the back of the seat.
Young Carl placed his palms on Victor’s wide shoulders and lifted his left leg
over Victor’s body. Then he climbed onto Victor’s lap and wrapped his hands around
Victor’s neck. “You can open your eyes now,” young Carl said. When Victor opened his eyes and saw him sitting on his lap wearing nothing but a
long black scarf around his neck, he placed his large hands on young Carl’s ass and
smiled. He ran his hands up and down young Carl’s naked back; his eyes examined every
inch of young Carl’s naked body. He looked down at young Carl’s legs and said, “You’re
so smooth tonight.”
Young Carl arched his back and spread his legs a little wider. “I shaved my entire
body for you today. I had a feeling you’d like it.”
Victor patted his ass and said, “I love it. And I love you for going out of your way
to do something that nice for me. You always do nice things for me.”
Young Carl ran his hand down the side of Victor’s face and said, “Now it’s your
turn. Take off those pants and let me see those strong football player legs.”
Carl sighed and said to the Ghost, “I always did have a thing for football players.
Whenever I saw Victor in his football uniform, my heart stopped beating. This wasn’t our
first time together. We had been lovers for more than a year already. This was just the
first time we’d been together in a while.”
When Victor was naked, he smacked the head of his penis on young Carl’s cheek
and laughed. Then he put his arms around young Carl’s shoulders and forced him down.
Young Carl’s back rested on the seat and his legs went up and opened wide. His right leg
dangled over the top of the back seat, and his left leg dangled over the front seat.
Victor reached beneath the front seat and pulled out a small tube of lubricant. He
rubbed the lube all over his erection and asked, “Are you ready for me? We haven’t done
this since Labor Day weekend.” Young Carl placed his palms on Victor’s shoulders and said, “I have to ask you
one thing. I haven’t been with anyone else. You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with. But
I know you have strong needs and you might have been with someone else at school. I
wouldn’t get upset, I really wouldn’t. I love you too much to let a quick trick ruin what
we have together. But I need to know if we should be using condoms.”
Older Carl looked at the Ghost and raised his eyebrows. “I meant that, too. I
wouldn’t have been upset if he’d told me he’d been with other guys. I wouldn’t have
minded using a condom.” Carl had never been the jealous type. If anything, Victor had
always been jealous of him cheating while he’d been away at school.
Victor smiled and kissed his forehead. “There’s no one else,” he said. “You’re the
only guy I’ve ever been with. We don’t need condoms tonight. But I’m glad you asked. I
was afraid to bring it up and ruin the moment. I’m glad you haven’t been with anyone
else. I like that. The thought of another guy getting into your pants makes me want to
kick a wall down with my bare hands.”
“There is no one else,” young Carl said.
Older Carl rubbed his jaw and said to the Ghost, “And there hasn’t been anyone
else since then.”
By that time, Victor was so eager to get inside young Carl’s body he was taking
deep, heavy breaths. When he finally did go in, and his precarious young penis rubbed
against young Carl’s tight, soft interior, he bit his bottom lip and said, “I have been
dreaming about this for weeks. Ah well…”
Young Carl’s eyes were closed and his mouth was half open. “So have I, Victor. I
love you so much.” Then Victor started bucking his hips. The car rocked and young Carl’s head
banged into the side of the car. Victor’s football player body was strong and he bucked so
hard there were loud slaps against young Carl’s ass. But young Carl never complained.
He took all Victor was willing to give with an even smile on his face. A second before
they were both ready to climax, Victor leaned forward and kissed him. He shoved his
tongue into young Carl’s mouth and his penis exploded inside young Carl’s body. Young
Carl held Victor’s shoulder with his left hand and jerked his own penis to the finish with
his right.
While Victor was still deep in his body, rocking in and out with gentle thrusts,
young Carl whispered, “I love you.”
Older Carl closed his eyes and cleared his throat. This was difficult to watch.
He’d almost forgotten how young and innocent and ridiculous he’d been back then.
Victor was about to reply. But when he opened his mouth to speak, there was a
loud slam on the trunk. Victor looked to his left and froze. His penis was still deep inside
young Carl and young Carl’s arms were still around his neck. Victor’s father was
standing above them in the shadows. It was too dark to actually see their naked bodies or
too see that Victor’s penis was still inside young Carl. But it wasn’t dark enough to hide
the general concept of what they were doing in the back seat of that old Cadillac.
Young Carl couldn’t see anything but Victor’s chest muscles. “What’s wrong?”
he asked.
Victor didn’t answer. He was still looking at his father’s shocked face; his head
hadn’t moved. Mr. Briarwood cleared his throat and said, “Get dressed and go up to your room.
Carl Smite isn’t welcome here anymore. I want him out of this house and off this
property forever.” Then he turned his back on Victor and started walking back toward the
house. He stopped for a moment and said, “I never want to discuss this night again. Is
that understood?”
Victor nodded. “Yes, father.”
Carl removed the scarf, stepped back from the car and walked out of the garage.
The Ghost followed him. “I’ll never forget that night,” Carl said. “I thought I’d always be
welcome at Briarwood Manor. But when Mr. Briarwood caught us that night, he made it
clear I was not welcome in his house and he never wanted to see my face again. May he
burn in hell. I knew Victor was crushed. I didn’t want to see him get hurt. So I got
dressed and walked ten miles that night to stay with a good friend. Victor wanted to drive
me. But I insisted on walking. I knew his father was waiting for him in the house.”
The Ghost didn’t answer. He lifted his arm and said, “Touch my hand. We don’t
have time to waste.”
Carl lifted his arm and hesitated. In the distance, he heard the sound of an old
fashioned Christmas song coming from the main house. It was the same song he’d heard
the night he’d walked away from Briarwood Manor for good, with his head down, his
hands in his pockets, and tears streaming from the corners of his eyes.
Chapter Five
After they left Briarwood Manor, the Ghost took Carl to a small studio apartment
Carl hadn’t seen in years. They stood in a makeshift kitchen area that had a small, boxy
refrigerator, a two-burner hot plate, and a dented toaster oven with rust stains. On top of a
battered metal cabinet near the sink, there was a tiny artificial Christmas tree. Crushed
tinsel drooped in curls; a few chipped ornaments with bent hooks dangled from plastic
branches. At the top, a tiny angel with a broken wing and a painful expression tipped
sideways.
The younger version of Carl was sitting on a green vinyl sofa, wearing a black
sweatsuit. There was a petite young woman sitting next to him. Her straight, dark hair
was parted on the side and fell to the nape of her neck in a pageboy. On both sides of the
part, there were two thick curls that looked like sausages. Even for that time period, the
hairstyle was out of date. She was wearing a red sweater that had green Christmas trees
on the upper half, and a pair of jeans so tight they looked painful.
The older Carl looked at the ghost and said, “She was my best friend back then.
Her name was Donna Fratelli. We were in Glee Club together. She didn’t get along with
her mother and moved out as soon as she graduated from high school. They can’t see me,
can they?” He was still naked, but he didn’t feel awkward about it anymore.
The Ghost said, “No.”
“That Christmas, Donna was working full time in an office and going to school
part time at night to study something. I don’t remember exactly what, though,” Carl said. Carl took a few steps forward and leaned over Donna’s shoulder. Donna and
young Carl were eating TV dinners and drinking wine that Christmas Day. She’d been
one of his closest friends all through high school. They’d studied together, partied
together and gone to the prom together. They went to all the school football games,
where they’d both sat in the bleachers and cheered for Victor. And when Carl’s mother
died, Donna had been there to console him and help him get through the roughest times.
But there had never been anything sexual between them. At the time neither Carl nor
Donna knew it, but Donna had been his first and only fag hag.
Young Carl poured himself another glass of wine and said, “I’m just going to go
back to school tomorrow. I had all kinds of plans with Victor for this week, but after last
night I doubt we’ll be seeing each other anymore.” He frowned and swallowed the entire
glass of wine.
Older Carl raised his eyebrows and listened. He remembered this conversation
well. He’d told Donna he and Victor had had a vicious argument over a card game. But
he didn’t tell her Mr. Briarwood had caught them fucking in the back seat of his old
Cadillac. No one knew how Carl and Victor felt about each other. Everyone thought they
were best friends, just like brothers. Carl couldn’t have told Donna the truth that night. It
would have meant coming out of the closet for him, and outing Victor at the same time.
And he still wasn’t ready to openly admit who he was.
Donna poured young Carl another glass of wine and rested her palm on his knee.
“You guys will work it out,” she said. “And there’s no reason for you to go all the way
back to school and sit in an empty door room all alone. You can stay here as long as you
want.” He drank the next full glass of wine and fell back against the vinyl sofa. His eyes
were glazed and his hair was messy because he’d been running his fingers through it all
evening. He yawned and said, “I appreciate it, Donna. I just don’t know if I can stay here.
I want to get away from Victor and everything that reminds me of him.”
Older Carl remembered how he’d felt that day. His stomach turned and his
muscles ached. Everything seemed foggy, as if he had been standing in the middle of a
cloud and he didn’t know how to find his way out. He remembered waiting for Victor to
call and say something. Victor had to know he’d be with Donna. The longer he’d waited,
the more his head throbbed.
Donna poured young Carl another glass of wine and ran her hand up his leg. She
rested her hand on his upper thigh and handed him the glass. “Drink this. You’ll feel
better.”
Young Carl leaned forward and drank the entire glass in a few swallows. When he
tried to place the empty glass on the coffee table, he missed and the glass fell onto the
brown shag carpet. He fell back on the sofa and said, “I think I’ve had too much to drink.
Hell, I don’t even know how many I’ve had.” His voice slurred and he hesitated between
words.
Donna picked the empty glass off the floor and placed it on the table without
removing her hand from his leg. The hand on his leg went higher and she grabbed his
crotch. She massaged his penis with light, gentle strokes and said, “We’ve been friends
for a long time, Carl. I have very strong feelings for you. I think we’d be good together as
a couple.” Older Carl stepped back and raised an eyebrow. By the time Donna started
playing with young Carl’s penis, young Carl was too drunk to know what was happening.
Older Carl had always wondered about what had happened between them that night. But
he’d never been sure and he’d never bothered to ask—some things were better off
unspoken. If he’d been sober that night, he would have handled this differently.
While Donna continued to grope his penis, young Carl closed his eyes and spread
