A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (4 page)

"Maybe
I should make plans for my funeral as well," my mom said,
snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?"
I asked in a shocked tone.

"That
way you won't have to deal with it. I could just pick everything out
now," she said.

I
couldn't believe she was saying it in a normal tone like we were
talking about the weather.

"No,"
I snapped. "We don't need to do that."

"I
want to be next to your father. We could get the plot and stone now.
That's what I want to do," she said.

"Stop,"
I said. "You have many years left, mom."

"Many
couples buy the plots so they can be sure they'll be together,"
the guy sitting across chimed in.

I
wanted to reach out and grab him, but I adjusted my tie and let out a
breath instead.

"You're
so busy. I'm sure you won't be back until I'm gone, son. I'd rather
you not have to worry about it," she said.

I
turned to look at her with my eyes narrowed.

"That's
not true," I said. "You can get the plot next to him, but
you're not planning anything. That's not happening."

"Fine,"
she said. "I'll just get the plot."

When
she was finally finished, we headed back to her house. She insisted
on making us lunch. I thought about what she had said. She was the
one that pushed so hard for me to live my life in New York. I didn't
want to ignore her. I loved my mom and wanted to see her. A thought
popped into my mind and out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Move
in with me," I said.

My
eyes widened at the same time hers did. I couldn't believe I had said
it. My life was mine alone. I didn't want to live with someone else.
Everything would change, and I didn't want that. I did want her to
move to New York. I could get her a place close to me and still keep
my private life. With my mom there, I wouldn't be able the walk
around naked. She'd be into every bit of my business. Being in the
same building would be good though.

"What?"
she asked with a laugh.

"Move
to New York. You can have your own place in the same building. That
way I could see you all the time and make sure you're okay."

We
pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Livie's two kids
were running between the two yards. They ran up to my mom and
starting chattering on about something the one had done to the other.
I couldn't keep up with what they were saying. I heard the screen
door slam just as Livie came down from the porch. She stopped as soon
as she saw me. What do you have to say, I thought? I wasn't walking
away. She was going to have to be in my presence. There was nothing
she could do about it.

"You
two better get in that house and eat your lunch," she said.

The
little boy kept talking to my mom as if Livie wasn't speaking.

"I
will count to three, Jack," she said sternly. "Same goes
for you too, April. Get moving."

Both
kids let out a huff before walking back toward the house. Livie stood
up a little taller and pulled her shoulders back before walking over
to my mom and hugging her.

"You
should hear this guy, Olivia," my mom said. "He wants me to
move to New York so he can make sure I'm okay. Doesn't he know we're
small town girls? I'd never go back to a big city life again. I've
done that. It's not for me. Olivia can watch after me. She's not
going anywhere. She can give you a report on how I'm doing. I can
have her call you every week if you want. Maybe you could just visit
every year or two."

I
heard Livie take a deep breath in before letting it out slowly.

"Did
you get everything planned this morning?" Livie asked. "You
know I'm here if you need anything, Carol. What do you need me to
do?"

"We're
having dinner here after the funeral. Do you think you could make
some desserts and things like that?" my mom asked.

"Of
course," Livie said with a smile as she rubbed my mom's arm. "Do
you know what you want?"

"What
about some cookies," I said. "Make the ones you used to
make for me. They were my favorite. Do you remember which ones I'm
talking about. They had chocolate chips in them, but they were
different."

She
nodded her head.

"Yes,"
she said in a sad tone. "I remember."

She
hugged my mom again.

"I
better get back inside," she said. "I just came home to
make lunch for the kids. I need to get back to the bakery. Let me
know if you want something else, Carol. I'll take care of the
desserts and breads."

"You
came home to make lunch for them," I said without thinking.
"Couldn't your mom have done that?"

"That's
not my mom's job," she said with an edge to her voice.

"Great,"
my mom said. "Just let me know how much everything is, Olivia.
Thank you so much."

"Don't
worry about the money," Livie said. "It's the least I can
do. Let me know if you need me to do anything else."

Livie
walked back toward her house. My mom turned and walked up the porch
steps.

"She's
such a good mother to those two kids," she said. "I don't
know what they'd do without her. They definitely couldn't count on
their father for anything."

Olivia

I
leaned back on my elbows and looked up at the stars. The kids were
finally asleep, and I needed to clear my mind. When I walked passed
Z's house, I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing. His bedroom
light was on. The memory of me throwing a small rock up to get him to
come outside made my feet move faster.

My
spot in the woods was still the same. It was my place to be away from
everything. There were new chairs and a table added over the years,
and it was still my favorite place. I had so many memories. So much
had run through my mind in that exact spot. I'd been through some
rough moments alone there. It was a place I could release all of my
emotions without the rest of world knowing I wasn't as strong as they
thought I was. I had spent hours upon hours there before I ever met
Z, while I knew him, and after he was gone. It was warm during the
day, but the chill running through the air made me shiver.

I
thought I was over him. My marriage to Mike lasted only nine years.
During that time, I never asked Carol about Z. I didn't want to know
anything about his new life. It didn't include me in any kind of way.
That was all I needed to know. I had searched the internet a few
times out of curiosity, but that was after my divorce. Mike wasn't
the one for me. Everything was good in the beginning. When his true
colors began to show, I was already pregnant and worried about doing
it on my own. After our second child was born, some things happened
and I knew I needed to leave. My dad had only been gone a few months
when I moved in with my mom. It helped her with the bills, and
neither of us wanted to be alone. She watched the kids while I
worked, but I had always gone home to feed them each day. Some days
were harder than others, but I knew my life was better without Mike
in it. He tried several times to get me to go back to him. That would
never happen. He said he would be a better man. I remembered my dad
saying that many times after knocking the shit out of my mom. Mike
didn't even make an effort to see the kids, and he rarely gave me
anything for them. My mom gave me money for certain things they
needed. I didn't know much about her finances but figured she'd
gotten insurance money when my dad passed away. Mike's time was spent
drinking or driving by my house to see if I was home. I don't think
he ever knew I had seen him. He'd never do anything stupid to hurt
the kids. They were the ones I worried about. I knew he loved them.
He just needed to get his head out of his ass and realize they needed
him in their lives.

When
I looked around at the stars and listened to the sounds of the night,
my mind went back to Zander. I never expected to see him for the
funeral. His relationship with his dad was not a good one. He always
felt like his dad never loved him. It was like he was never good
enough. It was true. His dad always made him feel less than he was.
He made shitty comments about how Zander would never amount to
anything. I couldn't blame Z from wanting to get away from him. It
didn't change the fact that I was devastated when he left and cut me
out of his life. We had been best friends since the day his family
moved in next to mine. I would never forget that day. When I took him
to my favorite spot, he made fun of me. It didn't take long before he
was even going there alone to think. We spent four amazing years
together in those woods. It was something I would never forget. Those
were the best years of my life. So much happened between us back
there. It quickly turned into our place instead of mine. I didn't
mind though. He was my favorite person in the entire world. We
talked, laughed, sang, cried, and yelled. There were so many special
moments there and a few not so special ones as well. I smiled when I
thought about how I had lost my virginity in that spot. It only
happened once, but it was the best day of my life. I would never
forget my first time.

It
was prom night. We had both gone with different people. I went with
some jackass from the football team. The only reason I did was that
Zander had agreed to go with one of the cheerleaders. I wasn't going
to stay home while he was off having fun. Of course the guy expected
me to have sex with him. I didn't know him well enough for that. He
was pissed when I told him there was no way I was doing it with him.
Of course he said some things that weren't so nice as he dropped me
off. I got out of his car and slammed the door shut before taking off
to my spot to release my emotions. I wasn't sure how long I had sat
there crying before Z found me. He reached out and took my hand to
pull me to my feet. When he wrapped his warm arms around me, I melted
into him.

"That
fucker's lucky he's still walking," he snapped.

"What?"
I asked.

Z
pulled back from me and wiped my tears away with his thumbs before
looking into my eyes.

"You
didn't do anything with him, did you? Please tell me you didn't let
that asshole touch you," he said.

His
tone was different. I could tell he didn't think I had done anything.
I could also hear the question as if maybe I had.

"No,"
I snapped. "Of course not. I've barely even talked to him. When
he started getting all grabby, I let him know I wasn't doing it. He
brought me home and dropped me off. Of course he made a few rotten
comments first. I never should have gone. Why are you asking me that?
I thought you knew me."

His
hands were on my cheeks. We were so close. I could feel his warmth on
my face with each breath he took.

"I
knew he was lying," he said. "I just needed to hear you say
it. He went back to the dance and told people that he fucked you and
dumped you off. I was so pissed. When I took off for the door, he was
watching me. I stopped in front of him and punched him in the face.
Then I had a few things to say to him. You should have seen the shock
on his face. Are you okay?"

I
leaned into his hand on my cheek and nodded. He looked into my eyes
the entire time. When his lips came down on mine, I thought I was
dreaming. They were so soft and warm. His kiss was so caring and
gentle. His tongue licked across my bottom lip and I clenched my legs
from the feelings that were shooting through me. Zander wasn't a jock
or a nerd. He was in a class of his own. The girls all chased after
him. He was very cute and had a nice ass. I had to give him that. The
girls liked the mystery of him. He didn't talk a lot and kept his
feelings to himself. Maybe they thought he was a bad boy. I really
wasn't sure what it was. He never took shit from anyone. It didn't
matter how big or small they were. He would stand up against anyone
that pissed him off. I was sure he'd been sexual with several girls
in school and wasn't sure how I felt about him finding out I wasn't
as active. I wasn't active at all, ever, with anyone.