A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (3 page)

My
attention pulled away for a moment when I saw movement. Olivia was
walking toward her car, as two kids chased after her. She leaned down
and kissed each of them before pulling them into a group hug. They
walked back toward the porch, as she got into her car and backed out
of the driveway. They waved their little arms back and forth as they
watched her drive away. Then they both ran back into the house. I
shook my head thinking about her being a mother.

"What
does that have to do with her?" I asked, as I turned to face my
mom.

"She
never wanted a big city life. She's a small town girl. You know that.
What would have happened if you two had gotten together? Would you
have never left? Would you have given up what you could have had? You
have everything you wanted. Look where she is. She's living with her
mother. Her man's gone. He doesn't even see those kids. Do you
honestly think she would have kept you happy? She's a great girl. I'm
not saying she's not. I love her to bits. She has been so helpful
through your dad's sickness. I just never thought she was the girl
for you. You never wanted kids. You have to see that what I'm saying
is true. She would never fit into your life, Zander."

I
let out a long breath and turned back to look out the window. Livie
always knew she wanted to stay there. She was never leaving. I always
knew I was leaving the first moment I could and never looking back.
That was exactly what I had done. I just wasn't so sure I had done
the right thing.

Olivia

I
don't think I had ever gotten ready that fast in all my life. It was
like he was watching me. I hugged my kids and got in my car as
quickly as I could. The way the hair on the back of my neck stood up
drove me crazy. I couldn't stand him. He left me. I needed him, and
he wasn't there. We had been best friends for four years. I saw him
almost every single day in high school. If we went two days without
seeing each other, I felt like something was missing in my life. He
was true to his word. Zander left town and never looked back. One
year of college and he didn't even know who I was. I was good enough
to pass time with. That was all I was to him. He ran as fast as he
could to his big city life.

When
Mike asked me out, I wasn't interested. My mom encouraged me to date
him. So did Carol. They both told me he was a real catch. I agreed to
one date with him. We had an okay time, so I accepted a second date.
It wasn't nearly as nice talking to him as it was talking to Z. That
was my name for Zander. I only called him that because he pissed me
off. He was my best friend. I figured that was why talking to Mike
wasn't as fun.

When
I mentioned to Z that I went out with Mike, he sounded happy about
it. They knew each other in high school. We all did. The more I went
out with Mike, the more my mom and Carol encouraged it. They would
tell me what a nice guy he was and how well he could take care of me.
He worked with his father as a mechanic. His dad owned the shop. Mike
was a nice looking guy. He played football in school, so he was fit
and kind of big. By the time we started dating, he had a house of his
own. I was working at the bakery in town. He would come in to buy
things for the shop each morning.

The
longer we dated, the less Z and I talked. I would hear about his
classes and how great life was for him. Part of me always thought we
would still end up together. I was wrong. He had big plans, and none
of them included me. I found that out the hard way.

My
mom told me that Mike was going to propose. He had asked my father.
Of course my father was thrilled with the idea. He couldn't wait to
get rid of me. To be honest, I couldn't wait to get away from him. He
was not a nice man. Some days he wasn't so bad but other days were
awful. He really beat me good a few times, but that was only when I
stepped in the way of him and mother fighting. Nobody knew about
that. It would have been an embarrassment to her. She always made me
promise not to tell. I'd fake sick for a few days while the marks
went away.

When
my mom told me about Mike wanting to marry me, I thought about Z. I
needed to know for sure that there was no chance of us being
together. That sounds pretty sad, I know. Looking back, I should have
known our marriage wouldn't last. I was busy thinking about another
man. It was such a small town, and I had no plans of leaving. There
weren't many options. With Carol and my mother whispering in my ear
about what a great guy he was, I felt like it might have been my only
chance at love and family. I didn't always have a great feeling about
myself. My dad and mom both helped by pointing out all of my flaws
often. She always told me I needed to watch my weight or make sure I
looked perfect before leaving the house. Her whole goal was for me to
catch a good man. It was strange the way she acted. Did she honestly
think my father was a good man? He paid the bills. I guess not having
to work was worth what she had to deal with when he was home.

I've
heard people talk about women looking for a man like their father.
That would never be me. I would never be with a man that acted like
him. That was what I always told myself anyway.

Before
Mike had a chance to propose, I decided it was time to take a trip.
My parents never went on vacation. That town was all I had ever
known. I had some money saved up. Every penny I earned went into my
savings. I was going to own the bakery I worked in one day. My mom
thought it was a silly dream. So did Mike and everyone else in town.
It made me want it that much more. I knew a trip to New York would
put a huge dent in my savings, but I couldn't marry Mike unless I
knew for sure there was no chance at a life with Z. My bag was packed
and I was ready to go. I was so nervous to leave, but I knew
everything would be okay. At least I would have an answer. He would
be happy to see me for sure.

There
had never been a day like that again in my life. I was the happiest I
had ever been. He was my best friend. I don't think he ever realized
how important he was to me. He got me through four very tough years.
I gave the taxi driver the address with the biggest smile on my face
and watched the busy, huge city around me. It was crazy. I had never
seen anything like it before. There were butterflies in my stomach
the entire drive. I was doing it. I was going to tell Z how much he
meant to me. If anyone had ever told me you could be on top of the
world one second and the next your world could crash down around you,
I wouldn't have believed them. Not until it actually happened to me.

The
taxi pulled up in front of his apartment building. I was damn excited
to see him. Just as I opened the taxi door, his door opened and he
walked out. He looked so perfect. I looked at pictures of him all the
time. My memories were nothing compared to the real thing. I couldn't
wait to wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. Just as I opened my
mouth to yell out his name, I saw her. She was very pretty. Her legs
were long, and she was thin. I watched her long brown hair move in
the wind. She grabbed his hand. When they turned around, they were
both laughing. He leaned in to kiss her. Her hands went into his soft
hair and pulled him closer. I felt my breath catch as I gasped. They
looked so happy together. That was the moment I realized the man of
dreams was gone. He had the life he had always talked about. The city
around him was enormous, and he was happy.

I
got back into the taxi with tears streaming down my face. As the
driver drove away, Z looked up. I could have sworn that our eyes
connected but knew that was just wishful thinking. I think it was
just me dreaming that he would come after me. He never did. I sat
quietly on my way back to the airport. It was the only time I had
ever left the small town, and I knew it would never happen again.

When
I got home, Mike proposed and I accepted. That was the last time I
had seen Z. We never spoke again. At least not until he walked in on
me cooking breakfast for his mother, looking as if I had just gotten
out of bed.

I
couldn't help but rub the spot he touched earlier when I tried to
leave the kitchen. The warmth of his hand was still there. I could
still feel the electricity that ran through my arm when his skin
connected with mine. He pissed me off so badly. I think I was more
upset with myself for having such a reaction to him after all those
years. He didn't deserve that. He left me.

I
pulled into the bakery parking lot, shut off the car, and looked
around. Not everything turned out bad. I had two amazing kids that
were my everything. I had also proven Mike, my parents, and everyone
in town wrong. That bakery was mine, and I was so damn proud of
myself. It took a lot longer than I thought it would to get it. The
older couple who owned it wanted to retire and move south. They were
asking way too much. I was surprised when they dropped the price a
considerable amount and snatched it up before they could change their
minds. I got out my car feeling so proud of myself and the woman I
had become.

Zander

My
mother's words played in my head over and over again.

"She
never wanted a big city life. She's a small town girl. You know that.
What would have happened if you two had gotten together? Would you
have never left? Would you have given up what you could have had? You
have everything you wanted. Look where she is. You never wanted kids.
You have to see that what I'm saying is true. She would never fit
into your life, Zander."

I
spent the day making plans with my mom for the funeral. She wanted to
have dinner at her house after the services. I told her we could have
it at a hall, but she insisted that we have everyone come back to her
house. It was all about what she wanted. I wanted her to be happy
with how the day turned out. I at least got her to let me have the
food brought in. There was no way she needed to be cooking all day
while she visited with friends. She was devastated, and I felt
horrible for not being there with her through it all. Livie had been
the one to comfort her and be by her side. The woman she never
thought was good enough for me was the only one that was really there
for her.

We
sat in the funeral home, as she went over one thing after the next
with the director. I felt bad for not getting involved in the
decisions. Even though my dad pissed me off all the time, I knew he
wasn't a horrible man. My mother loved him with all of her heart. He
cared for her just as much. It was me who could never make him happy
or proud.

I
assured my mom that she could have everything she wanted. She had
insurance on my dad. I knew because I paid for it. She never worked,
and I wanted her to know she was financially stable. The woman
refused to accept money from me, so I had to be creative when it came
to her. That was just like another woman I knew would never take my
help. As far as Livie was concerned, I hadn't been a part of her life
since I left. That was how I planned to keep it. She was a very proud
woman. I knew she would never have accepted help from anyone,
especially not from me.

My
mind wandered as I sat waiting for my mom to finish planning
everything. I looked around the funeral home and thought about my
life. It was an amazing life. I was one of the top in my field and
spent every moment I could at work. That was where I felt important.
Those patients counted on me. Everything in my life was fast paced.
That was how I had always wanted it. If I wasn't sleeping, I was
either at work or spending the evening with a woman. My place was
nice. It was big and overlooked the city. That was what I had always
wanted too. I wasn't tied down, and I didn't have kids. My life was
mine and mine alone.

I
hadn't gotten serious with a woman, not even in college. There were a
few girls I spent time with here and there. I'd take them to dinner.
We'd go back to either their place or mine. I would spend a few hours
with them. That was it. They never stayed and I always left. I had
never made an emotional connection with any of them. There was no use
for that in my life. I was too busy for that and had never found
anyone I wanted that with. They never had a problem with it. If I had
a business dinner or conference to go to, I'd take one of them with
me. They jumped at the chance of being spoiled for an evening.

Most
of my days were spent in suits or scrubs. The atmosphere surrounding
me was serious most of the time. I had my own gym at my place. It
gave me a place where I could blow off steam when I was stressed
after a long day. I spent at least an hour a day there blasting the
radio and sweating my ass off. When I saw Livie's reaction earlier in
the day, I knew that gym had been totally worth it. She was
speechless. It only lasted a moment, but it happened. I couldn't miss
her eyes moving down and back up my body. There was no way she was
able to hide it.