A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (17 page)

"How
long have you been standing there? Have you ever heard of knocking?
You can't just walk into my house. You gave that privilege up sixteen
years ago," I said.

He
walked in, set the bag on the kitchen table, and held my shoulders in
his hands.

"Don't
give me that shit. Finish what you were saying. Did he hurt you?"
he said in a rough tone.

"No,"
I said. "He ended up leaving. I had the police write up a report
in case it happened again."

"Why
was the door unlocked if the bakery was closed?" he asked.

"I
never lock the door in the mornings. I've never had a reason to,"
I answered.

"I
can't believe you," he said.

"I'm
not a child, Zander," I said. "If you hadn't punched him,
he wouldn't have come there in the first place. He thinks I've got
some stupid high school crush on you or something. I let him know
that there is nothing there and you were leaving to go back to your
wonderful life in just a few days. He was just being a jealous ass."

"I
don't care why he was there," he said. "He will never touch
you again."

He
turned and started for the door, but I stepped in front of him.

"No
you don't," I said. "You will stay right here. Do you hear
me? This is my home, not yours. You made that clear the day you moved
and every single day after that. I'm not going to have you come back
into my life, shake it all up, and walk back out again. You need to
mind your own business. You came here for your mom. Take care of her.
Leave my shit alone. I'm not going to spend years picking up after
the storm you make while you're here. He's my ex-husband not yours. I
will deal with him."

"Oh
really," he yelled, as he grabbed my arm and held it up. "You
did a fine job of dealing with him before. This could have been so
much worse. A man should never touch a woman. I don't care what she
does. It upsets me so bad knowing that I didn't know about your dad
in high school."

I
heard my mom gasp from beside me.

"Zander,"
I yelled.

"I
can't help it. I'm freaking out over here. How could you have not
told me? What else did you keep from me?"

"What
did I keep from you," I got even louder. "Are you serious?
You moved. When you found out I was getting married, you cut me off.
I spent all those years thinking you never cared about me. All I
could think about was you, on your front steps, kissing some woman. I
went through my father's death. Then I went through a divorce. Do you
know how many times I heard from you? None. You were never there when
I needed you. You were my best friend, and you were gone. You haven't
called me in thirteen years. Do you know that? I haven't spoken to
you since I got married."

He
stood there looking down at his feet.

"I
felt horrible. My life was a mess. The one person I needed was
nowhere to be found. He checked out. I was so alone. Everything was
crashing down around me. You didn't care. I was of no value to you.
It hurt so badly. I would cry myself to sleep at night. Was it
because of my dad? Was it because of the divorce? Was it because my
husband hurt me? No. It was because the man I needed was gone."

I
took a step back from him.

"Then
what happened. I cared so much about him that I took care of his
parents for four years. I watched his father suffer and die. I stood
by his mother every moment. Why did I do it? I did it for him. I did
it to be close to him. I did it for a man that didn't even know I
existed anymore. The whole time I was with your parents, all I could
think about was you. I would sit in your room and cry because I still
missed you so badly."

"Livie,"
he said softly, as he reached out for me.

I
shook my head and took another step back.

"Then
you came back and turned my world upside down. I had to hear about
how worthless I am in your mother's eyes. Her son's too good for me.
I'm a good person, just not good enough for him. I was good enough to
drive her around and do things for her. I was good enough to cook her
food. I was good enough to do her shopping. I was good enough to take
care of her husband. She never once made me feel less than her. When
I heard her saying those things about me to other people, it broke my
heart. To find out she had always felt that way made it even worse.
Then I found out that you couldn't take time out of your precious
life to talk to me, but you could find a way to pay all my medical
bills for me. Was I your charity case? Did it make you feel better
about ditching me? You're a big time doctor. I get it. We all know
you have money, Zander. It was a wonderful thing you did. It did help
financially. Do you want to know something? I would have rather had
my best friend than his money. Did you do it for me, or did you do it
to make yourself feel better?"

"Fuck,"
he whispered. "Livie."

"Nope,"
I said. "I don't want to hear it now. I've gotten used to be
alone. Just when my mind won't stop spinning, I find out even more.
You had the time to call my mom to check on me. You found the time to
write her checks and send money to help me. How responsible and
caring of you. Again, it helped me. I appreciate that. Let me say the
same thing I said before. I didn't need your money. I needed you. I
can't let you get to me anymore than you already have since you've
gotten here. I was so much better off thinking you never gave a shit.
I never thought I would say this, but it was easier that way. What
else don't I know, Zander? I've got the hugest feeling that there's
more."

He
just stood there looking at me. I didn't know if I wanted to cry and
run away from him or cry and run to him. How messed up was that?

"You're
leaving to go back home. I know that. I'm not delusional.
Everything's going to go right back to the way it was. I'll still
take care of your mom. I'll do it for the same reason I did before.
You'll live your dream, and I'll be here living mine. No more doing
things to help me. No more taking care of things without me knowing.
No more sending my mom money. No more medical bills. I don't need
your money. It means nothing to me. Give it to charity, or spend it
on your lady friends. I don't care what you do with it, but I don't
want a single penny. You know me. I can take care of myself. I don't
need your pity or your charity."

When
I moved to walk passed him, he reached out and grabbed my arm. That
familiar warmth I missed so much ran through me, and I pulled away
from him.

"Please
don't touch me," I said. "I can't deal with getting any
closer to you to have you walk back out again."

"Can
you have April come down here?" he asked. "I brought the
stuff to change her bandages."

I
let out a long breath. He was making it even worse by being nice to
my kids. I had no idea what his motive was there either.

"Stop
being nice to my kids. They are going to get attached to you. It's
going to hurt them when you leave. They don't have a man in their
lives. It's not going to take much for them to care about you,
Zander. I can't let them get hurt. You don't want kids. Don't make
them think you do."

I
walked to the stairs and called April to come down. She came bouncing
down the stairs, and her face lit up the second she saw him. I know
he saw it too. He looked over at me and I shook my head.

Zander

Hearing
her talk about Mike coming to the bakery pissed me off. When she said
he had her backed up against the counter, I couldn't hear anymore.
That guy was lucky. I had no idea why she was sticking up for him.
Did she still have feelings for him, I wondered? She said it was
because when I left she'd still have to deal with him. I didn't know
what to think. He could have hurt her. I already wasn't there once
when he did. What if he went after her again? She had no idea the
kind of stuff I had seen over the years. He could hurt her really bad
or worse. Just because she didn't think he would didn't mean he
wouldn't. That shit needed taken care of. I was there, and I wasn't
letting it go.

April
sat down in the chair. I took her bandages off and cleaned her cut.
It looked really good. I wanted her to be careful with it. If she
played too hard, she could bust it back open. Someone needed to watch
it for the day. I watched her face as I bandaged her back up. She
trusted me. I had never even met her before that week. She was a
great kid, and so was Jack.

I
could feel Livie looking down at me from her spot next to the kitchen
sink the entire time. When I was done, April was gone and off playing
again. I stood up and walked over to where Livie was standing. She
was being very strong. I knew her well. When I took her chin in my
hand and lifted it to see her eyes, I could feel her body shaking.

"I
don't want to go back to the way things were. I want to talk to you.
I'm not going to send your mom money or pay for anything. I want to
call you instead of her. I'm so sorry for everything. You're my best
friend. You always have been. I want back what we had before."

I
backed away from her, picked up the bag I brought with me, and walked
out the door. She had to get back to work, and I wasn't about to make
her cry before she went. It took all I had not to yell and go on
about Mike, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. As soon as she was
gone, I was in my car and on my way to his shop.

When
I got out of my car, Mike's dad came out to greet me.

"Hey,
Zander," he said. "It's nice to see your back. I don't want
any trouble at the shop. You two need to take it someplace else. I
know what he did today. He came in this morning talking about it. I
also know you're the reason for his nose. He would never hurt her on
purpose. I don't blame her for leaving him. She had every right. He
wasn't good to her. He isn't good to the kids. He's so wrapped up in
feeling sorry for himself. The police were already here. He promised
not to go back to the bakery. They won't let him anywhere near it. I
have to go get the stuff now. I'd like to give him a swift kick
myself right now. You can have your words, but I can't have any
fighting here."

I
nodded to the older man. He really had aged while I was gone. A few
moments later, Mike came out.

"What
do you want?" he started. "Did you come here to defend your
girl? You gave that up after high school. I was here when you
weren't. I knew she came to see you. I thought you were going to have
the balls to keep her there. I really did. When she came home, I was
so happy. You didn't have it in you I guess. I married her as fast as
I could. I loved her you know. I still do."

"You
have a funny way of showing it," I said. "She told me about
her arm."

"It
was an accident. I wouldn't have hurt her on purpose."

"You
had a broken bottle in your hand. How was that an accident?" I
asked. "Do you think it was okay to hold her up against the
wall?"

He
stood there looking at me.

"Are
you staying here, or are you going home?" he asked.

"I'm
going home," I answered.

"Then
I don't get why you're standing here right now. You're going back to
your fancy life. She's still going to be here. Why bother stirring
shit up before walking away. That's what you're good at. The walking
away part, I mean. She was a mess when you left. I finally got her to
go out with me. I thought she was over you when I got the ring. Then
I found out she was going to New York. She left something in my car
by accident. I never said a word to her about it. She came back and
accepted my proposal. We had a kid together. I thought it was going
to be okay. She didn't want to work like I wanted her too. She had to
work in that damn bakery. She was still convinced she was going to
own that damn place one day. I don't know why. It was never going to
happen. I could never have afforded to buy the place. I didn't want
another kid. When she got pregnant again, I was so mad. She was on
the pill. It shouldn't have happened. Then she got mouthy with me and
started fighting me about making dinner and shit like that. That was
her job. She was supposed to take care of me. I should have come
first. That night I came home and things got out of control. It was
an accident. I didn't cut her on purpose."