A Blast from the Past (A Second Chance Romance) (15 page)

"Fuck,"
I snapped and tightened my hold on her.

"He
backed up as soon as he saw the blood. I watched him walk toward the
door. He told me to have everything cleaned by the time he got back.
There was no concern about the blood dripping from my arm. The minute
the door shut, I wrapped something around my arm, grabbed the kids,
and took off for my mom's house. She ran the kids next door and asked
your mom if she could watch them for a bit. Then she took me to
hospital. I went back to the house to get the kids things and some of
mine. That was it. I moved in with my mom and have been there ever
since. I filed for divorce with some of the insurance money my mom
got from my dad's passing."

I
sat silent, but I knew she saw the tears in my eyes. She turned to
face me and looked into my eyes.

"I
can feel your arms shaking, Z. Stop it. Do you want to know
something? I don't regret that day. Not one bit. Do you hear me? Look
at me, Z."

"I'm
going to kick the shit out of that fucker," I said, as I looked
into her eyes.

Her
hands came to my face and held my cheeks.

"This
scar on my arm gave me back my freedom. It gave me back my life. I
didn't love him. I was never in love with him. I was with him because
I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Do I regret marrying
him? I don't. If I hadn't married him, I wouldn't have those two
amazing children. We couldn't even get along. I was miserable and
couldn't stand it. When he got home each night, I couldn't wait for
him to leave again. I never thought he would do anything to hurt me.
When he touched me that day, it gave me the kick I needed to get the
kids out of there. There was no way I was going through what my
mother did. My children were going to be safe."

My
body was shaking. I wanted to move her away and go find him. I wanted
to tear him in two. I was so angry at so many things. My mom should
have told me what happened, but she never said a word. Mike should
have never touched her. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say
that stuff at the funeral home. He shouldn't have been there. The
only reason he came was to mess with her. I was angry with her for
marrying him. I was angry with myself more than anything. She
shouldn't have had to tell me something like that four years after it
happened. If I hadn't cut her off, I would have known. I would have
been there for her. He wouldn't have gotten away with it.

"Look
at me, Z," she whispered. "Stop it. I know what you're
doing right now. You need to stop. It's not anyone's fault but
Mike's. He shouldn't have done it. I don't think he did it to hurt
me. He was having a hard time and didn't handle himself well. I've
not done the best for myself, but I think I did pretty well. I live
with my mom because she helps me with them and she needs the help. I
bought the bakery. It was always my dream. You know that. I used to
tell you I was going to own it one day."

"Are
you happy?" I asked.

"What
do you mean?" she asked.

"The
one thing you always said you wanted to do in life was own that
bakery. You have it. It's yours. Are you happy?"

"I
get to spend time with the kids. That's what makes me happy. You know
how much I love baking. It relaxes me. I get to bake any time I want.
I feel good about what I accomplished," she answered.

"Does
knowing you own the bakery make you feel like all your dreams came
true?"

She
moved over and leaned back on the blanket, looking up at the stars.

"No."

That
was all she said. I fell onto my back and pulled her against me. We
looked up at sky for at least an hour. I never wanted to let her go.

"What
about you?" she asked. "You wanted to go to New York and be
a doctor. It was your dream. Now you have that. Are you happy?"

"No,"
I answered. "I like where I live. It's really nice. I really
like helping people. It makes me feel amazing when I can deliver good
news to people. It's what I always wanted to do. I've done well and
made my dreams happen, but I'm not happy."

I
held her tight and ran my fingers up and down her back.

"I'm
sorry I wasn't here for you, Livie. I'm so damn sorry. If I had
known, I would have been here in a second. I hope you know that. I'll
make it up to you. I'm sorry I let you down."

"I'm
not your responsibility, Z," she said. "It's not your job
to take care of me. You need to live your life. It wasn't your job to
save the day. It was my life, and I needed to take care of it. I'm
fine now. That's what matters. I don't want you saying anything to
Mike. Do you hear me? It was four years ago. I need you to let it
go."

"I
can't just let it go, Livie," I said. "I won't say anything
to him. I won't do anything, but I can't let it go."

She
stood up and got dressed. I followed her. There was no way she was
going to stay with me all night. Her daughter needed her.

"I
want to check on April before I go home, if that's okay," I
said.

"You
don't have to do that. You've done so much already. I don't know what
I would've done without you earlier. I can't believe I got so upset."

"You
would've taken her to the doctor. I didn't do anything special."

"Yes,
you did," she said. "You calmed her down and made her feel
okay while you took care of her. I've never seen her cuddle into a
man like that before. You did a lot for her. No more taking care of
my doctor bills either. I can't believe I was stupid enough to
believe the insurance always covered things. You can't do that. It's
time to live your life for you, Z. You need to stop trying to save
the day here. Your life is in New York."

She
was wrong. My life wasn't in New York. My life was right there with
me. It always had been. I just never took the steps I needed to take.
She had no idea how wrong she was.

I
took her hand and walked toward her house. We walked in quietly. Her
mom was sitting on the couch reading. I walked to Livie's room and
checked on April. Everything was going fine. I was sure her cut would
heal without stitches.

"I'll
come and change the bandages tomorrow. Have her leave them on until I
do. I don't want it to split open again. If it does, we'll do
stitches. She should be fine though. It's probably still sore,"
I whispered to Livie.

I
leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I'll
see you tomorrow."

Olivia

I
watched him walk home from my window just like I used to. My stomach
felt like butterflies were taking over. I felt like a little girl
with her first crush. When he turned and looked up at me, I almost
jumped back and hid. Why was I being so silly? The man I had cared
for since I was a young girl was looking up at me. That same man
would be walking out of my life again in just a few days. I knew
there were tears in my eyes as I waved to him. He smiled and waved
back before disappearing into the house and closing the door.

I
was kind of close to my mom. We had gotten closer in the four years I
had been living with her. She was always truthful with me. I really
needed someone to talk to about all of the things going on in my
mind. I had never known that Z helped me. He paid my medical bills.
We didn't go that often, but that didn't matter. I knew he was also
paying his mom and dad's as well. It made me wonder if there was
anything else I didn't know about.

I
thought he had cut me off completely and wanted nothing to do with
me. All those years, I thought he was with someone and never really
cared about me. It made me think about the fact that he was there, I
just didn't know it.

When
my mom looked up from her book, I sat down next to her.

"I
need to talk to you," I said.

She
looked over with a smile.

"Does
it have anything to do with Zander?" she asked, and I rolled my
eyes. "You two were always something else."

"His
mom doesn't think I'm good enough for him. Did you know that?"

"I
didn't know that. She did mention years ago that he needed to keep
his head where it belonged. New York was where she always said he
needed to be. She didn't want anything standing in his way. I never
thought she was talking about you. How do you know that?" my mom
asked.

"I
heard her say something at the funeral home," I said. "I
asked her about it tonight after everyone was gone. She said we both
had different dreams and didn't belong together. I found out she had
been telling him that since we were in high school. I heard something
else today."

"What?"
she asked.

"I
found out that Zander has been paying everything my insurance doesn't
cover for me and the kids. I heard him talking to the doctor about
his parents. When he found out I heard him, he seemed a little
nervous. I thought for a moment about how I've never paid a penny
since the divorce. I assumed my insurance was covering all of it.
When I tried to say something, he moved away from the subject. It
really made me think."

"About
what?" she asked nervously.

I
could tell my mom was thinking, and I needed to figure it out. Did
she know something I didn't, I wondered?

"I
thought he didn't care about me. He quit talking to me when I married
Mike. I thought he was done with me. I went to New York. You never
knew it."

"When?"
she asked with wide eyes.

"Before
I accepted Mike's proposal. I wanted to see Z. When I got there, he
was hugging kissing a woman outside of his apartment. I never even
let him see me. I came back home and married Mike. Zander had a life,
and I wasn't a part of it. He told me tonight that he's never even
had a girlfriend since he left. He's been with women, but it's never
been anything more than a few dates."

I
watched my mom closely for her reaction. There was something going
on. I had to know what it was. She was quiet and her hands were
shaking around her book. She was so cute. She didn't know she was
giving herself away.

"I
thought he never cared about me. So many things have happened over
the years, and he's never been there for me. He said he didn't want
to hear about my happy life with Mike. Carol told him we were happy
and in love. He said it was too hard for him. That was why he quit
calling me. Finding out about the medical bills made me realize he
hasn't been gone all these years. It made me wonder if there was
anything I didn't know about."

I
saw a tear slide down my mom's face. She had always liked Zander. I
knew she did. She liked Mike as well in the beginning of our
relationship but felt bad about that after he cut my arm up.

"Mom,"
I said.

"Yes,"
she answered.

"I
need you to be honest with me right now. I can tell you're hiding
something. I'm begging you to tell me what it is."

She
shook her head.

"I
can't," she said.

"He's
leaving, mom," I said. "In just a few days, Zander is going
back to his life. A life where I thought I didn't belong. If you know
anything at all that would let me know he cared about me even the
tiniest bit, I need you to tell me."

"I
promised him I would never tell you, Olivia. He would be so upset
with me."

Her
answer told me so much. We sat in silence for a moment before she put
her book down and looked at me.

"He
cares about you, Olivia," she said. "He always has. I've
seen it since the day he moved in. You two bonded like nothing I've
ever seen. I hadn't heard from him since he went to New York, not
until the divorce."