365 Ways to Live Happy (5 page)

If you are unattached and looking for that special someone, this exercise will not only be fun but it could produce exciting results. Law of attraction experts say that when you know exactly what you want, it is easier to attract it. Make a list of the top ten physical attributes you'd like in a potential mate. If you have trouble, close your eyes and visualize this person walking toward you. What does he look like? What does his walk or gait say about him? As he gets closer, can you tell if he is taller than you, the same size, or shorter? If you don't like what you see, change it. Go from general observations to specific until you see him clearly in your mind's eye. Now write down ten specific physical attributes that you want. Be on the lookout for that exact person, now, because your thoughts may be calling him to you.

If you feel lonely, do something about it. Visit a few of the online dating sites; read about their audience's demographics and the criteria for joining. Decide on two or three sites that might be a good fit for the type of potential friend or romantic partner you desire. Join one. While dating is still about meeting new people, contemporary dating sites make it easier than ever. You can tell the world exactly what you want: for example, an emotionally healthy individual, a Baby Boomer who loves classic rock n' roll, or someone who loves to pair great cooking with fine wine. So banish those lonesome blues, start tapping those keys to connect with others, and make way for some great camaraderie. With a world of potential new friends at your fingertips, what are you waiting for?

Don't worry about becoming tongue-tied around strangers. Think of three things to open a conversation. Can't think of any? Consider remarking on the weather, the facility or environment you share with that person (train station, elevator, grocery store, bank, or airline terminal, for example), or an aspect of her dress or accoutrements. Or comment on a recent news headline. Often, just an opening remark is enough to engage the other person. Make the overture and see where the conversation goes from there. You both may be smiling at each other momentarily.

You see a great-looking guy thumbing through a travel guide. Or, maybe he is standing in front of the science fiction, business, or computer bookshelves. The point is that you like what you see. You could walk over, excuse yourself, and reach past him to retrieve the book right in front of him, or, if you are more timid, simply flash a sexy smile after making eye contact. Comment on the book he is reading. Is it a travel guide to Ireland where you once bicycled or saw the Book of Kells? Show curiosity and interest in what he is reading and he might become interested in you.

Pay attention to the people around you. Instead of standing next to the stranger for the elevator ride up several floors, look her in the eyes and offer a greeting. Hello is easy to say. It's only one word. It might lead into a conversation about the weather, the latest news about your city or town, or something about the environment (the noise next door due to construction, for example). You'll never know where the elevator chit-chat might lead if you don't open your mouth in the first place. And that stranger could become a new friend or romantic interest.

When you feel so emotional that you can't think straight, it may be time to seek help. Explain to your partner that you believe the two of you could work through the tough issues if only you could talk about them without pushing each other's buttons. One way to not do that would be to find an impartial third party, perhaps a relationship expert or a marriage and family counselor, to guide you through the emotional minefields. Relationship experts can reveal ways to shift the relationship paradigm so you don't stay in a “stuck” place. Working through the issues can strengthen a relationship and make the individuals feel more hopeful, optimistic, and happier.

Let your best friend know how much you value her friendship. Invite her for a relaxing afternoon at the spa. Treat her to her favorite relaxation treatment or a hot stone massage. Imagine how great she'll feel when the massage therapist places sanitized warm stones of smooth volcanic rock or basalt on her tired back, shoulders, or neck muscles. If there's been any friction between you, a spa day can ease that as well. So go ahead and book the appointment. Invest the time and cost of the massage in your friendship. A happy relationship with your best friend is worth every penny.

Nothing thrives through neglect. That is especially true for romantic relationships. Lavish the kind of attention on your romantic partner that you desire for yourself. Make a reservation at one of the best bed and breakfast establishments in your area. Such accommodations usually offer intimate, cozy settings and comfortable bedrooms (sometimes with fireplaces and Jacuzzi tubs). Breakfasts can range from a simple offering of freshly baked muffins with coffee and juice to an opulent gourmet feast. Surprise your lover with a weekend getaway and watch how love blossoms.

Leave love to its own devices or take some action to evoke a response from your lover. Write a simple “I love you” note and tuck it under your partner's pillow to be found when it's time for bed or after you have already left for the day. Such a simple act will call up strong, loving feelings in him during your absence. Expect a call, possibly the delivery of some flowers, or lots of attention. Want a double dose of happiness? Try it and see for yourself the results.