365 Ways to Live Happy (3 page)

You can never go back to previous moments or past events. Once you have moved through them, they are forever gone. Whatever is in the past that haunts you or makes you sad or fearful necessarily stays there. It cannot be undone. If some past event or encounter still bothers you, do what you can to process through it and let it go. You alone give it the power it has over you. Release it and instead focus on the present moment. Be mindful right now of where you are, who you are, and what you are doing. Paying attention to and being fully present in each moment of your life means you truly will be “showing up for your life.” That is the way to happiness.

Put a lucky bamboo plant on your kitchen counter where it will happily enjoy some warmth. Even if you don't have a green thumb, you can successfully grow this plant. It doesn't need much light and will thrive in water (as long as the water is clean and kept at the same level). According to the ancient Chinese tradition of feng shui, the lucky bamboo (not a bamboo at all but a member of the Dracaena family) creates harmony wherever it is placed. Its numerous long green leaves grow out of a single stalk. If you work from home, put a six-stalk plant in your office to attract prosperity or a three-stalk plant in the bedroom to ensure longevity, wealth, and happiness.

Participate in your religious or spiritual faith and attend a service this week. Even in our materialistic, consumer-driven society, you can live a purposeful, self-actualized, meaningful, and happy life. Research suggests that participation and belief in a religious faith or spiritual tradition is an important ingredient for having that kind of life. One way to stay in touch with your core spiritual beliefs is to regularly attend a religious service or a gathering in which your faith and belief is shared. Some studies link such regular participation to a greater sense of well-being, a stronger connection to community, reinforcement of your beliefs, and a more stable, healthier, and happier family life. If you don't have a specific faith, create a regular ritual to honor what you believe in. It can be an elaborate affair or as simple as finding a few minutes to read about or reflect upon beliefs you find inspiring.

Prayer can center you when things are going right in your life, give solace and lift you when you feel down, and remind you that you aren't alone. Praying can help you move forward when you feel stuck or provide hope when you need healing. Harold Koenig, MD, associate professor of psychiatry and medicine at Duke University School of Medicine in Durham, North Carolina, has observed that religious people tend to have healthier lives. Better health means you are more likely to feel greater satisfaction with your life. Recite a prayer that gives you comfort. Or, if you prefer you can make up your own prayer. A simple “thank you” is a powerful prayer of gratitude. “I need your help” or “Please guide me” are also excellent points of departure into prayer. Pray and then be still like an empty vessel waiting to be filled. Gratefully receive whatever inspiration, answers, relief, peace, joy, and bliss may come.

If your heart feels bereft of some spiritual inspiration, explore your options and read a book that focuses on one of the great yet unfamiliar religious traditions of the world. Choose an inspirational book if you need a little lift and encouragement. Read the history of your chosen religion or spiritual tradition if you prefer a historical perspective. Study the sacred texts, for example, the Bible, the Torah, the Koran, and the Vedas. Read biographies of saints. Let the words and deeds of holy beings such as the Sufimystic Rumi or the Indian saint Mirabai, who were drunk with love for the Divine, lead you back to your spiritual center where your heart can feel happy again.

Create an area in your home that can serve as a sanctuary for yoga, prayer, writing in your journal, sipping tea, reading, and reflecting. Make your sacred space private. Add a screen, a large plant, a curtain, or something that defines and separates that space from the rest of the house. Add a small table to hold your spiritual texts, sacred objects, candles, incense, holy oil, or prayer beads. A window or door with a view of a lake or garden is an added bonus. Otherwise hang a piece of silk, a batik, or spiritual art. Regularly retreat to your sanctuary to reconnect with your own inner joy.

Not only is it good for your brain, but memorization of a prayer, affirmation, or a piece of profound spiritual writing can provide solace and comfort in times of crisis or deep emotional distress and give you peace. If you were a Christian growing up in America, you may have been expected to memorize the Lord's Prayer, one or more of the psalms or proverbs, or New Testament verses. In other religious traditions, too, there are prayers and religious texts, mantras, and sacred verses that followers can memorize. So close your eyes, open your heart, and mentally recite your favorite affirmation or prayer. Let the words lead you to tranquility and bliss.

When was the last time you tried to understand a bias you hold toward something or someone? If it's been a while, now might be the right time to revisit your beliefs. Growing up, many people consciously and unconsciously absorb the biases of their family members, associates, friends, and peers. When you let go of intolerant biases and recognize and respect the beliefs of others, you are practicing tolerance. Consider one or more of the beliefs you still hold. Perhaps your beloved grandmother told you that things would never change or the father you respected taught you not to trust anyone who didn't look or talk like you. Think for yourself. Using truth and fact, compassion and understanding, create a new lens for seeing bias. Visit
www.tolerance.org
.

Push the buttons in the elevator for a fellow rider. Help an elderly person up the steps of a building, a subway exit, or onto a bus. Pick up an item that someone drops. Put your pocket change into a charity box. Invite a fellow shopper to move ahead of you in the check-out line. Shovel the snow off your neighbor's walk. Offer to let someone share your umbrella. Random acts of kindness require very little effort but pay great dividends in the good karma and personal happiness they generate.

Millions of people live their lives without a sense of direction. Unless you know what is really important to you and what you want out of life, how are you going to know where you are going, how to get what you want, and what your life purpose is? Think of ten things that are really important to you, for example, family unity. Then make each item as specific as possible. Instead of family unity, maybe you really mean eating meals together, working on the chores together, or praying together. Refine the ten things on your list until you know exactly what is of primary importance to you. These are the things that will make you happiest. Knowing what they are can help you make better choices in your personal life journey.

Imagine the happiness you would feel if you were personally able to save someone's life. Prepare by learning how to do some simple first-aid, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), and the Heimlich maneuver. Classes are offered through the American Heart Association, the parks and recreation departments of many cities, and also through local hospitals and clinics in community outreach programs. Find a class near you and take it. Then if you witness someone who has a medical emergency, call 911. But also don't hesitate to apply what you have learned. Doing something is better than doing nothing. You may even save someone's life through quick action. Now that's something to be truly happy about.