30 Days (9 page)

“Yes.” I nod and he quickly rids me of my pants before doing the same. Laying there exposed in just my panties under his intense gaze makes my pulse beat erratically. I don’t dare move. His eyes travel from my lips slowly and thoroughly over every inch until stopping at my ankles. When our eyes meet again his are wild with desire.

“May I touch you?” His voice is barely audible. My throat is unable to respond so I nod at him. He moves slightly, kneeling over me. One hand coming to my neck and trailing down over my collarbone to my breast, lavishing it with attention for a moment before moving on to the other one. I gasp and my back arches up off the bed. A slight smile breaks out over his face before he licks his lips and dips his head down to me.

His kisses and nibbles following the trail of fire left behind from his fingers. His hand still slowly moving south over the flat plain of my stomach, my hip, and resting at my upper thigh. When his mouth catches up to his hands resting spot he repeats the process all the way back up my body. I feel like I’m on fire. My hips buck and a strangled sound rips from my throat. His fingers stop and brush back and forth over one of my scars. It startles me and I look down to him.

“Is this from him?” His eyes are hard and full of rage.

“Yes.”

“How?” He says through gritted teeth.

“A bowl of hot chili.” His mouth kisses the scar with such tenderness that I can feel my eyes glistening with tears.

“You’re gorgeous Elle.” His mouth is on mine again this time desperate with need. It’s a furious kiss. Passionate and heady. I’m left gasping and panting for air when he finally pulls back. A playful grin on his face. “Do you want me Elle?” He whispers.

“Yes.”

As soon as the word is out of my mouth his hands are at my panties ripping them off. His boxers are shed and kicked away and his mouth and hands are everywhere as are mine. I can’t seem to feel him enough. I want to know every inch of his body. When his fingers slide in between my legs I’m lost. His name rips from my lips as he sends me crashing towards orgasm. My body takes over, grinding into his hand needing, wanting more. When his fingers disappear I cry out in protest. He kisses me hungrily and moves himself under me. “Come with me Elle.” He croaks as I slip onto him. There are no words for the way he fills me. I sink my weight onto him reveling in the pleasure it brings.

A soft groan slips from my lips as his hands come to my waist setting our rhythm. His hips lift and plunge as mine grind down and circle. Faster and faster until I’m trembling and can't see straight.

He flips us unexpectedly and continues to drive into me. Filling me up. Lightning explodes behind my eyes as my orgasm rips through me and I scream out his name again. He thrusts twice more before planting himself deep with a grunt and staying there, face buried in my neck. It feels so right. The weight of him on me. The pleasure he gave and took. I want to melt into him, into this moment forever.

His head lifts slightly planting a kiss behind my ear. “Incredible.” He breathes. The silence that follows is so intimate I’m taken aback. We lay tangled in each other’s arms, his fingers playing with my hair, our eyes locked, silent. A thousand thoughts passing between us effortlessly. It’s as if he’s saturated my heart and soul. His hand trails up my spine slowly. “Roll over baby.” His voice is laced with seduction.

“I'll do anything you say...if you say it with your hands.” I flirt back.

“Done.” He murmurs as I roll onto my stomach and am treated to the most amazingly erotic massage in history as a soft sigh falls out of me.

DAY 8

Everything Colin does is laced with affection for me and I don’t know why. It confuses me and makes me elated at the same time. He’s pouring coffee into a mug for me humming softly along to the radio playing.

“Why me?”

“What?” He turns to me.

“Why did you pick me? Why are you doing this with me?” I ask honestly. I can see the wheels turning in his head as he tries to answer. He sets the mug down on the counter and strides to me. Taking my hand in his he tugs me from my perch and leads me to the bathroom. Standing behind me in front of the mirror his eyes catch mine.

“Look at yourself.” He says quietly in my ear. “Try to see what I see.” His hand comes around from behind to my face. “You have the most beautiful face. Your eyes are intoxicating.” His hand slides down the length of one arm. “Your skin is like silk.” He whispers in my ear and I bite my lip to stop from shivering. His hand moves up my ribs until his palm is flat against my heart. “Your heart, your strength, your kindness amazes me Elle. Your resilience.” He murmurs low. Watching him in the mirror, his expression, his tenderness does funny things to my belly. “Do you see what I see now?”

“I... I think so.” I mumble.

“You still don’t see it.” He says frustrated. Years of abuse have me convinced though that I’m not all those things he thinks. That I’m not deserving of what he feels.

“I’m trying Colin.” Our eyes meet in the mirror and he holds my gaze as his fingers trail up and down my arms lazily.

“How do I make you
feel
?” He asks. My breath catches. I’m unsure how to answer. His eyes bore into mine while I search for words.

“Good. Safe. Special.”

“And when I do this?” He asks and I watch his head dip down, his lips meet my neck trailing feather light kisses from my shoulder to my ear making my belly flutter. “Wanted.” I breathe.

“Then until you believe what I see in you, believe what you feel from me.” He twirls me around enveloping me in his embrace. I rest my head on his chest and let out a breath as my arms circle his waist. This is crazy. I must be crazy for this to actually be happening.

As is our normal routine now we hit the gym and I let loose all my anger and hurt on the heavy bag of sand until I can’t lift my arms anymore. When I’m finished I lean against the wall and watch Colin and Ben spar in the ring. They’re both powerful and quick. Impressive muscles contract and release with each jab and movement. It baffles me that all women don't hang out in boxer’s gyms just for the view. I catch Colin’s eye and Ben uses his distraction to clock him in the jaw sending him down. Watching his head snap back makes me cringe.

“Thanks Elle!” Ben laughs out while helping Colin to his feet. I sheepishly throw Colin an apologetic look but he just grins at me. “You’d be distracted too if your hot girlfriend was looking at you like mine was.” Colin teases Ben making me blush. Ben just laughs at him. Colin crawls out of the ring and closes the gap between us.

“Are you hurt?” I ask gently touching his jaw.

“Naw. It’s part of sparring. No worries.” He leans in giving me a chaste kiss that elicits hoots and hollers from guys working out. My face must be bright red by now but Colin seems unaffected by their cheers.

“Let me change and we can head out, yeah?” He asks.

“Sounds good.”

“Why’d you say girlfriend?” I ask as we enter the bar. Ben and John are joining us at a karaoke bar uptown for the evening. All three men have agreed to sing a song and are presently attempting to get as drunk as possible in order to make that happen.

“Does it bother you?” He counters.

“I’m not sure.”

“When you know, clue me in. Until then, that’s what I’m calling you.” His words jolt me. How is he so sure of everything?

The men have made it clear that I have to sing first or they won't at all. A show of good faith John had laughed. Colin knows it’s on the list and that I’ll do it simply because I want to accomplish every last thing Jenny and I had thought up. I take a shot of something Ben brought over to settle my nerves. It burns on its way down but I choke back my cough. I don't like being the center of attention. I don't like all eyes on me and in a few moments I will be. Colin sits close while sipping his beer and rubbing soothing circles on my back. I picked
Low Road
by Grace Potter. I know the song well and it’s not too high for me to sing. My knees bouncing nervously as the woman on stage finishes her song.

***

“You can do it.” I tell her after her names called. Her bottom lip trembles and she looks nervous as hell but I can see the resolve in her eyes. This list is important to her.

When she grasps the mic and starts singing my jaw drops. She’s got a gritty soulful voice that works well with the song. Her voice grows steadier with each line she sings. You can almost see her confidence pick up. Her eyes lock on mine and as she starts the second verse it’s as if she’s singing directly to me.

I held on so dearly

To the wrong things in my life

But now I see so clearly

I was walking into my own knife

You've got to get up off that street

Stop looking at your feet

And take a hold of something real

And this old man, took my hand

He looked at me and said, little girl, I understand

That it's a low low road

You've gotta roll down

Before you find your way, my friend

And it's a high, high hill

You've gotta climb up

Before you get to the top again

Right then I know she heard me this morning in the bathroom. That she believes me. That I’m making a difference in her life. My chest grows tight listening as her voice is wrought with emotion and she finishes the song. She’s stunning.

I think, from what she’s told me about her sister that tonight, she’d be proud. The crowd cheers. Mostly because she didn't suck, but it brings a shy smile to her face. As she makes her way back to the table I can't tear my eyes from hers. I stand when she’s within reach and pick her up swinging her around in circles making her giggle. Her smile is dazzling, lighting up her striking face. My stomach flutters with something for her. Pride, maybe, love even.

I set her down as Ben’s name is called. We sit as he stands, swaying slightly and moves to the stage to sing
Sweet Home Alabama.
  He’s terrible. It’s the most hilarious thing ever. He’s all but booed off the stage but his smile never falters. “That was awesome right?!” He shouts at us over the buzz of the bar. We all laugh at him for having no fear of rejection. John goes next and is surprisingly good. Although,
House of the Rising Sun
isn’t too hard to sing. Next up is me. I’m a little nervous but I’ve performed before. Not that Elle is aware of that little fact. I choose to just play the piano on the stage and skip the karaoke music.

“This is
I Will Possess Your Heart
by Death Cab for Cutie.” I say and adjust the mic at the piano.  I turn slightly to find Elle’s eyes, keeping them trained on her I start moving my fingers across the keys watching her eyes grow wide at the surprise.

How I wish you could see the potential,

the potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound but,

in a language that you can't read.

Just yet.

You gotta spend some time, Love.

You gotta spend some time with me.

And I know that you'll find, love

I will possess your heart.

You gotta spend some time, Love.

You gotta spend some time with me.

And I know that you'll find, love

I will possess your heart.

As I sing her eyes glimmer with tears threatening to spill over, but she’s smiling and not once does her gaze waiver from mine. I sing to her and no one else. When I finish she stands and among the clapping and cheering I see her rush the stage. I hop down just before she reaches me and catch her as she jumps into my arms babbling into my ear about how amazing I am while entwining her arms and legs around me. When she pulls back to look at me I’m truly astonished. Her brilliant green eyes are burning with emotion for me. “That was the most romantic thing that’s
ever
been done for me.” She breathes in awe. “You’re the most romantic thing.” She says as her lips crash into mine and kisses me senseless. The little gasping noises she makes as we kiss make me harder than I already am and I want nothing more than to get her home and have my way with her.

DAY 9

Can you even believe that he sang for me?! I know, I know, amazing. So incredible. My heart has grown wings and flown straight into his. I’m a goner Jenny. I can’t ever go back after having a piece of him.

Last night was amazing. The four of us had so much fun. I’m still reeling over the fact that he plays piano and sings. We got home late after too many beers and too much laughing and crashed into my bed. The rain trickles in streams down my bedroom window quietly. I’m lazily draped across Colin’s warm body. His face is chiseled and so handsome when he sleeps. Peaceful and innocent looking. I can't help myself as I trail a finger lightly over each eyebrow memorizing every detail of his face.