1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (54 page)

393

FACT :
The foul odor of flatulence comes from
intestinal bacteria as it releases gases
that contain sulfur and, in some cases, methane, one of the greenhouse gases responsible for global warming.

So please be aware of not only your carbon footprint, but your carbon ass-print.

“Gas in the Digestive Tract,” National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse, National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, National Institutes of Health, January 2008,
www.digestive.niddk.nih.gov
.

394

FACT :
Flatulence can be caused by aerophagia, or swallowing air, something we all do as we eat and drink. Chewing gum, eating or drinking too rapidly, cigarette smoking, and wearing loose dentures causes increased aerophagia
leading to more flatulence in some people
.
Come to think of it, Grandma did cut a lot of cheese.

“Gas in the Digestive Tract,” National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse, National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, National Institutes of Health, January 2008,
www.digestive.niddk.nih.gov
.

395

FACT : Adolf Hitler suffered from chronic flatulence
, for which he took anti-gas pills containing a mixture of belladonna and strychnine, both known poisons. One theory blames these and other “pernicious medications” prescribed for Hitler by a “diabolical quack” doctor for changes in his personality and temperament in the early 1940s.
Who says the universe has no sense of humor?

Robert G. L. Waite, The Psychopathic God: Adolf Hitler (Da Capo Press, 1993).

Greta Garbage, That’s Disgusting: An Adult Guide to What’s Gross, Tasteless, Rude, Crude, and Lewd (Ten Speed Press, 1999).

396

FACT :
Urolagnia—also known as “water sports” or “golden showers”—is a sexual fetish in which
partners derive pleasure from being urinated on
, urinating on others, or drinking urine. The practice is often classified by psychologists as a form of sexual sadomasochism.
Always discuss urolagnia with your partner before attempting it, as some people get pissed off when pissed on.

D. Richard Laws and William T. O’Donohue, Sexual Deviance: Theory, Assessment, and Treatment, 2nd ed. (Guilford Press, 2008).

397

FACT :
Another waste-based fetish, coprophilia, focuses on
defecation for sexual satisfaction
, and can include eliminating on one’s partner, and playing with or consuming fecal matter, which can have serious health risks.
Please come back when you’re done puking. There are a lot more great facts in the book.

D. Richard Laws and William T. O’Donohue, Sexual Deviance: Theory, Assessment, and Treatment, 2nd ed. (Guilford Press, 2008).

398

FACT :
The average human will spend
three years
on the toilet during his lifetime.
Lifetime? That’s only about four visits for my old man.

David Boyle and Anita Roddick, Numbers (Anita Roddick Books, 2004).

399

FACT :
Omorashi is a fetish subculture in Japan dedicated to arousal from the feeling of having a full bladder. Omorashi porn videos commonly feature schoolgirls, female professionals, and other women attempting to
appear dignified before succumbing to the urge to wet themselves
.
Really, who isn’t turned on by incontinence? No wonder nonagenarians have so much sex.

“Top 10 Bizarre Fetishes,” Listverse, September 24, 2007,
www.listverse.com
.

400

FACT :
In March 2009, a New York restaurant owner was arrested for unlawful surveillance after a customer noticed
a video camera in the ladies’ restroom
. The camera, connected to the man’s office computer so he could observe females using the bathroom, was attached to the ceiling with regular cellophane tape. It had only been installed for a day before being spotted.
It took them a whole day to spot it?

Newsday,
www.newsday.com
.

CHAPTER 9
The Price
Of Vice
Fifty More
Reasons Not to
Smoke, Drink,
or Do Drugs