1,001 Facts That Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader (51 page)

FACT :
Harvard researcher Dr. Marsha Moses is studying the
possibility of using a simple urine test to detect breast cancer
and predict its aggressiveness. Moses recommends that doctors look for the protein ADAM 12 in patients’ urine, as increasing amounts indicate cancer growth.
Doctors should also check for the Dragnet protein and the CHiPs protein, an indicator of Poncharello’s disease.

William J. Cromie, “Urine test tracks deadly birthmarks,” Harvard University Gazette, February 24, 2005,
www.harvardscience.harvard.edu
.

370

FACT :
Red urine can indicate
diabetic nephropathy, papillary renal cell carcinoma, or aloe poisoning
.

It can also be a sign that you ate too many beets, or a side effect of taking certain prescription drugs.
If you eat enough beets to turn your pee red, you might be a rabbit.

Consult your local veterinarian.

“Causes of Red urine,”
Wrong-Diagnosis.com
, March 17, 2009,
www.wrongdiagnosis.com
.

Ruth Woodrow, Essentials of Pharmacology for Health Occupations, 4th ed. (Cengage Learning, 2001), 247.

Joseph T. DiPiro and others, Pharmacotherapy: A Patho-physiologic Approach, 7th ed. (McGraw-Hill Professional, 2008), 84.

371

FACT :
Black urine can be a sign that you have alkaptonuria, a rare hereditary condition that
causes pee to turn pitch black upon exposure to air
. Black urine disease can cause arthritis, and can inhibit cardiac, pulmonary, and renal function.
Black urine can also inhibit your “not-screaming-like-a-schoolgirl” function.

J. C. Segen, The Dictionary of Modern Medicine (Taylor & Francis, 1992).

372

FACT :
Green urine can result from infections caused by
Pseudomonas aeruginosa
,
a bacteria found in soil and water
. Green urine disease can be fatal if it occurs in the lungs, urinary tract, or kidneys.
Exceptions: Kermit The Frog, The Incredible Hulk, leprechauns.

Samer Qarah, “Pseudomonas aeruginosa Infections,”
WrongDiagnosis.com
,
www.wrongdiagnosis.com
.

J. C. Segen, The Dictionary of Modern Medicine (Taylor &Francis, 1992).

373

FACT :
A gram of feces contains
up to a million bacteria
, ten times as many viruses, 100 worm eggs, and 1,000 parasitic cysts.
And corn.

Rose George, The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters (St. Martin’s Press, 2008).

374

FACT :
The average healthy adult expels between 100 and 200 grams—
almost half a pound
—of feces a day.
That sounds low. Did they include vegans? How about John Goodman?

The Merck Manuals Online Medical Library, Merck & Co.,
www.merck.com
.

375

FACT :
Some experts estimate that people who live without adequate sanitation
inadvertently consume ten grams of fecal matter every day
, potentially leading to infection, serious illness, and death.
So don’t bother telling them to eat shit—they already do.

Rose George, The Big Necessity: The Unmentionable World of Human Waste and Why It Matters (St. Martin’s Press, 2008).