1- The Glass Room 2- The Spirit Stone -3-bear Hugs-4- Believe (17 page)
Read 1- The Glass Room 2- The Spirit Stone -3-bear Hugs-4- Believe Online
Authors: Beverly Machado
The mother bear was watching when she left. She was sad to see the little girl leave. She liked having her there.
She was happy to be home; happy to see her pet dog that she missed. Through the years as she grew and finished her high school, she decided to go to college and learn all about caring for animals. She loved all animals, big and small.
When she graduated from college, she got a job working at the zoo in her city. She loved working there and taking care of all the animals. One day as she passed the large fenced yard for the bears, she saw a big bear with her ear bit in half and bite marks on the rest of the ear. She also saw two bears that were larger than their mother. They knew it was the little girl because all animals go by smell and she smelled the same even though she grew tall. The two other bears knew it was her, too.
She knew it was the mother bear and her now grown cubs were larger than she. She hurried and unlocked the gate and ran to them with open arms.
Now her arms could reach around their necks and she gave them all bear hugs. They gave her bear hugs, too.
THE END
BEVERLY MACHADO
There was something mysterious about that Mississippi River that Billy felt a drawing power over him. It’s like it was beckoning to him to be a part of it. Strange, strange. So strange it frightened him, yet he felt attached to it. He never would understand it, probably. He loved it when he had to go to work with his father who was the pilot of the Natchez Sternwheeler. He loved watching the water making fantails standing out on both sides of the large steamboat. When Billy went to work with him, he would sit on thick pillows so he could see the boat cutting thru the waves. It looked pretty. He loved the whole trip up and down the river watching the waves the boat was making. He loved the water. He was fascinated almost to the state of being hypnotized gazing at it. He watched his father as he lifted all the knobs and switches to control the boat. He thought to himself, that is what I am going to do when I am grown.
“Dad, I am going to pilot a sternwheeler when I grow up. “
“You are not smart enough to learn all that is involved in navigation,” he very rudely said.
I’ll show him and everyone else. I am smart. And I will learn all that is involved in directing a boat in this river that I love. That’s what he thought, but deep down he believed his dad. Maybe I’m not smart at all. Maybe I can’t learn anything worthwhile.
He felt love for this river, but why? Love, what is that? No one loved him. Well, maybe Aunt Lizzie. He could talk to her, and she would take the time to listen to him; the only one that did.
One day when he felt at his lowest, he walked to her house. It was only two houses down from his parent’s home here in Metairie, Louisiana, a suburb out from New Orleans. She was sitting in her living room in her favorite rocking chair. She lived alone. Her husband died three years previously. Where other people her age had their children to spend time with, she and her husband, Harry never had any children. She was partial to Billy. They needed each other, she felt.
“Aunt Lizzie,” he asked “can I talk to you now?”
When he asked her, she stopped rocking and set her soft drink down on the side table next to her. She knew the time had come and it would be a sad talk. He was twelve years old, but very smart; smarter than the usual twelve year old. He was a quiet boy. Maybe that’s why. He listened more than he talked. He listened to anyone that was speaking, so he knew more than he should for his age.
She knew this was something she had to do for him. Her time on this earth was limited, so the doctor told her.
“What exactly is it you want to know, Billy?” She said in her kind, and patient way.
“Why am I treated different from everyone else in the family? I’m a good boy. I do everything Mama and Dad tells me to do. I always have; so why, Aunt Lizzy? Maybe if I knew the reason I could change or handle it better. Please tell me if you know. I have no one else to talk to but you.”
Lizzy was the older sister to Maggie. She was ten years her senior. She knew she owed this little boy an explanation of how his high-spirited, nervous almost to the point of being neurotic, mother treated him. “Go fix yourself a soft drink and come back and sit in Uncle Harry’s lounge chair. I will tell you, but it won’t be a pretty story. You are sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes, I’ve got to know.” He got his drink and settled himself in the lounge chair, bracing himself to hear what he felt he needed to hear.
“Okay, Billy, I’ll tell you.”
“Your mother was always a high spirited person. She had set certain goals for her life. She was so particular in everything she did and everything she wanted. She is what you would call high-strung. I, being older, always gave in to her. After-all, she was my baby sister and our parents spoiled her, too.
Her plans for her life were to marry the man of her dreams; they would buy a small cottage with three bedrooms, no more. She was going to have two children, a boy first, then a girl. That is what she wanted and to herself, that is what she was going to get. She met your father in high school and they both fell madly in love. So to her, the stage was set. They married and in a couple of years were able to buy their three bedroom house in the Metairie,Louisiana, a suburb out from New Orleans. It was a new development with cottage type
homes.
When she got pregnant, she knew it was her son she was having. And when she delivered a boy, your mother and father were so happy. Your brother, James, was spoiled from day one. ‘Now,' she told your father, ‘we just need our daughter to complete our family.’ Three years later she got pregnant again. Your parents knew for sure it was their little girl. They decorated the third room with baby doll wallpaper and pink lace and impatiently waited for her to be born.
But instead of their daughter, you were born. Your mother, to put in lightly, was disappointed, so was your father. Your father tried to comfort her saying next time we will get our little girl. I was at your house when they brought you home. Your mother stood in the doorway holding you, looking at the pink and fluffy room, sobbing so hard, that I took you from her arms.
Your dad tried to calm her down telling her he would change the room and box all the girl things up for their next baby. It was sad. You were a beautiful baby. She should have been proud. But all her life she got what she wanted. If not, then she would throw a tantrum fit. This, to her, messed up her life. The house was going to be too small with three children. Besides she never wanted a third child. She was acting like a child. I was use to her ways. Your dad was, too. So we knew just to leave her alone.
I was the one that took care of you. I was proud to do that for you since I never had a child of my own. Besides, I was also the blame of spoiling my baby sister, your mother.
When she became pregnant again she had good days, but mostly bad days. Your dad bought bunk beds and put you in the room with Jimmy even though he didn’t want you in his room. Your dad even brought all the girl decorations out and redecorated the room that was yours. You were three years old then. Jimmy was six. When the baby arrived and it was your sister, your mother seemed to calm down. She lavished attention to Susan, the daughter she waited so long for. So you see Billy, you were caught in the middle. She had no right to, but she did resent you, and still does; so does Jimmy and your dad who blame you for erupting their peaceful lives.
None of this was ever your fault. You have nothing to feel bad about. There is nothing you can do to make it better. Stay sweet. Stay a good boy.
Remember no one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. Remember that always. Believe in yourself and everything will turn out alright. Okay? Now come give me a big hug. I love you, Billy.”
Billy went home, thinking a lot about what his aunt told him. What stood out in his mind was that he had to believe in himself before anyone else could believe in him. That was the message from his aunt. I’ll try, Aunt Lizzy, he thought to himself. As soon as he opened the door, his mother started screaming at him.
“Where have you been? Don’t you know I need you to help around here? Bring this garbage out and after that come do these dishes! I have to take care of Susan!”
He did as he was told and when he had permission to go to his room it was worse. His brother, Jimmy, had his friends over. They were playing their music very loud. He went to climb up in his top bunk when his brother grabbed both of his legs and yanked him to the floor.
“I don’t want you in my room when I have my friends over. You know that.”
“Mother, make Billy get out of my room!”
“Billy, get out of his room!” his mother yelled at him.
Billy grabbed a book he had on his bed and went and sat in the hall to read.
Try as he may, it didn’t do any good. He gave up trying to please his family.
Aunt Lizzy finally reached a point in her health problems where she had to tell her family. She waited until after supper was over and dishes washed, dried, and put away to talk to Maggie, her sister, and Philip, her brother-in-law, and even their children. Her pain was getting worse and it was affecting her actions. She had a malignant, inoperable tumor of the brain. She only could keep it from her family because of the help she was getting from her best friend and neighbor, Patsy, but the time had come when they had to know. She needed their help. They were all alarmed by the news, but Billy was devastated. He couldn’t loose the only person that showed him love.
“Aunt Lizzy, I will do everything I can to help you. I will do all your work for you. Everything. Promise.” He didn’t like the looks he was getting from his parents or his siblings, but he did not care. He had just learned he was going to lose his best friend, his aunt.
He did help her. His parents did also. She lived the six months that her doctors gave her, but no more. As Billy stood by her bedside, he knew she had only minutes left to live. He leaned over to kiss her cheek and whispered, “I love you, Aunt Lizzy.” She could hardly get the word out and it was so quiet Billy could not hear her. He put his ear close to her mouth and heard what she was trying to say to him. “Believe,” was her last word with her last breath. Billy fell on her body, crying. It will always be the one thing he will remember of his aunt. He thought to himself, yes, I must believe. She left this world surrounded by the people that loved her. It was so hard for Billy to handle. He cried himself to sleep every night until he cried himself out. Neither he nor his family was religious people.
They never spoke of a higher power, never mentioned God. So in his grief, he had to handle it alone.
Lizzie’s house was sold and half of the money from the sale plus money in her savings at the bank was willed to Billy with a surprise. The other half was to be divided between his mother and his brother and sister. Billy was only to receive the money after he completed high school and was to be used for his college education, plus transportation. Tempers flared from his family. Why was he given the best of all their Uncle Harry worked for? It made the situation worse for him living at home, but knew it was his aunt’s way of getting him out of the situation he lived with all his life.
When he graduated from high school he could move to a college campus. As the years passed, that is what helped him to bear the torment he lived with. He had no friends. No one wanted him to join them in their fun times. They saw him for what he was; a drag, a looser, and a person that was always depressed. He remembered his aunts words to him, ‘you have to believe in yourself before anyone else can.’ He tried, but couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried. How can I believe in myself with everyone tearing me down? Maybe when I move into the college dorm, and get away from my home and family, I could then. Oh, how much he looked forward to that. That is why Aunt Lizzy willed that money to me. She knew. She knew I had to get away from home. I’ll study hard, Aunt Lizzy. I’ll make you proud of me. If you can hear me in your spirit world, you will be proud of me.
As he was growing up, he occasionally would go to work with his dad, riding on the Natchez Sternwheeler. He didn’t need pillows to sit on anymore. He was growing tall, taller than Jimmy, his brother, even taller than his dad. He wasn’t a handsome boy, nor ugly, just average looking. The girls never paid any attention to him, but snickered to themselves whenever he passed by them. He would have liked to have a girlfriend or any friend. Time will change things for me. I must be patient.
His thoughts became dull and were overtaken by the view of the Mississippi River. As the boat left the city behind, and the country was in full view, he was always overwhelmed by the beauty of the Weeping Willow Trees that lined the banks of the river, with their shadowy, shade spreading out over the water. Sometimes he would get off the sternwheeler when his dad would anchor at one of the piers to let people exit and some people to load onto the boat. He had his favorite spots where he would wait for the return trip to bring him back to the city. It would be more than a two hour wait which he looked forward to. Beside his book he brought to read, he always had a snack and cold drinks. Close to the pier, beneath a shady Weeping Willow tree he would spend the most enjoyable two hour wait. This is where he would love reading of the history of this river road.
Each plantation had its own pier because in the 1700s there weren’t any roads. The river was their only means of transportation. The summer months were their traveling time on the boats. The winter months were spent in their city homes; but thru the years the roads were built, first for their carriages then their cars and the river was used less for their transportation. Only a few piers were left in use for the Natchez Sternwheeler to dock for people to enter and to exit.