1 The Bitches of Everafter (18 page)

33

Desperate Judges

Judge Redhood was growing desperate, and she wasn’t happy about it. Desperate people do desperate things, and she had already done something so drastic even
she
couldn’t believe it. The judge did not like plot twists, especially in a plan of her own creation. Well, mostly her creation. She wasn’t the headliner of this operation—more like the emcee. One who had just thrown a monkey wrench into her own lineup, but what choice did she have? She couldn’t very well let things escalate, though she suspected they already had. There was no proof —yet—but she was going to get to the bottom of whatever was going on even if it killed her. Or someone else, preferably.

It had taken nearly a year to get to this point. A year of strategic planning, careful crafting, arranging all the players just so. Not to mention developing not only the perfect spell, but the perfect cloak to veil the spell. It was brilliant, really. The effects of her magic, well,
their
magic, was like nothing she had ever seen before. She was so proud of herself.

Until of course she was betrayed.
Again
. The thought of it made her blood boil. She picked up a golf club that was leaning up against her desk and smacked a glass lamp with it. The lamp flew to the far wall and shattered into tiny pieces, leaving a modest dent to match the others.

Fang came rushing around the corner, jaws dripping with saliva. He growled at the shattered lamp, head low, hackles poking the air.

“Nothing to worry about, my pet. Mommy was just unleashing a bit of frustration.” She blew out a deep breath, feeling a bit more in control of her emotions. She would need that control for what she was about to do. She couldn’t go off half-cocked. Not now. There was too much at stake. She had come too far.

The judge smoothed her navy fitted jacket over her matching slim skirt and fluffed her fiery hair. Her phone was on her desk, and she picked it up and, slipped it into her pocket next to the key. Then she climbed the stairs to the second level of her woodland estate.

She wasn’t certain how long the curse was going to cling to its targets, but she could feel magic seeping into this land through the seams.

So who had brought it? And more importantly—did the princesses have any? She hoped Tink would provide some answers. Robin had been of no help at all, the useless toad. Tink should have been following those bitches all morning. Hopefully the girl would arrive any moment with a report, and hopefully it would give the judge just cause to lock one of them up again. Separately, they would be much easier to control, and the magic—if it
had
found them here—would dissipate.

She shook her head at the notion that
they
had found each other in Everafter. Oh, she’d had no doubt that four of them would wind up standing before her bench at one point or another. They were spoiled rotten princesses, after all, with everything handed to them on a silver platter most of their vapid lives. But that they came through the courtroom in succession and in the same timeframe baffled her. She had no explanation for it, but she would soon. Even if she had to use the threat of Fang himself to get some answers, she would have them.

It was Snow White’s crime that really had her stymied.

Pure of heart, innocent, doe-eyed Snow White had been such a goody two-shoes as long as she had known her that she was still dumbfounded by her actions. Perhaps, the judge thought as she unlocked the door that led to the third floor of the house, the spell had been even more powerful than she’d thought. Perhaps it had tamped down their true selves so deep that they would never recover their memories. Or their crowns.

“And wouldn’t that be delicious.” A smile spread across her face.

As she ascended the final stairs, the judge reached into her pocket and pulled out her mobile phone. She had purchased one for Tink, but the careless girl often forgot to carry it with her. Still, she’d try to reach her. See if she had uncovered any wrongdoing. It rang five times before she hung up.

The door at the end of the dark hallway loomed before her and the judge stopped. She hesitated, contemplating her next move. She needed answers, sure, but how far was she willing to go to get them? She needed to secure the town of Everafter, too. But was she prepared to risk her own happiness to do it?

The key was in her pocket, and she could smell Fang’s earthy scent trailing down the hall behind her. He must have followed her up the stairs. She found his steady breath comforting, the rhythm of his heartbeat soothing. A calmness washed over her. There was something about Fang’s sheer survival instinct that penetrated her very soul. She gathered strength from the wolf, inhaling it into her lungs.

“There is only so much magic stored here,” she said to herself. “Do what must be done.”

She still hadn’t decided how to rectify her predicament, nor had she come to any light-bulb realization of the best action course. All she knew was that she had to do something soon. She couldn’t let them remember, couldn’t allow the princesses to gain control. Or it would be
her
head on a platter.

The phone rang in her hand and the judge jumped.

She looked at the number and groaned. She’d been dreading this call, fearing it even, but she had proven her loyalty time and again and she would continue to do so.

She answered the call with, “Everything is under control.”

She waited for instructions. Then she plucked the key from her pocket, slipped it into the lock and entered the room that she alone knew existed.

34

A Trail Of Glitter

Snow looked up from her spinach salad just in time to see a trail of glitter flash down the hall toward the restaurant’s bathroom before it dissipated. She didn’t think much of it until she recalled what the pixie had said about taking Robin Hood’s place.

She made mention of this to Bella and Punzie who laughed so hard at the absurdity of the tiny girl acting as their parole officer that Snow was afraid one of them might choke.

Upon returning from the restroom, Aura didn’t find it so amusing. “I think we need to stage an ambush.”

Punzie said, “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of that little gnat.” She popped a fry in her mouth.

Aura said, “No, but I am afraid of what her boss could do to us.” She glanced at each of her housemates.

Bella stood. “She’s right.” She dropped some money on the table. “Let’s roll.”

The five of them waited just around the corner and lo and behold, after a few minutes, they spotted Tink skipping down the sidewalk holding a recorder in her dainty hands and giggling.

Bella rounded the corner first. “Well, well. If it isn’t the fly on the wall.”

Tink shoved the recorder in her pocket, jutted her lip out, and said, “Leave me alone.”

“Bzzzt! Try again,” Cindy said.

Tink glared at all of them as they formed a circle around her. “I’m not afraid of you. Any of you.”

Bella stepped forward. “You should be.” She gestured behind her where Snow stood outside the circle. “You see, Snow White back there wanted to take a crack at you, but she’s already killed once, and any more than that in a month is just bad form.”

Tink slid a fearful gaze to Snow White, who sighed.

Bella crossed her arms and said, “But I drew the short stick. So to speak.”

“Oh, a short joke. Very original,” Tink said. Her voice was steady but Snow saw the sprite quiver.

“Bella, please, let’s not make it worse.” Snow stepped forward. “Look, Tink, we know what you’re up to, but it’s not polite to eavesdrop on people’s private conversations. So why don’t you just give us the recording and we can all be on our merry way.”

Punzie looked at her watch. “Can we speed this along? If DJ Ray takes his break before I get there, he plays the jukebox and every damn record skips.
If I Can Turn Back Time
is repetitive enough, believe me.”

Cindy said to Tink, “Listen, you little moth. Whatever you think you heard, you don’t know the whole story. So just give us the tape and we can forget all about it. There’s no need to report any of this to the judge.”

Tink backed away and shook her head. “You can’t take my property. That’s illegal.”

Bella said, “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to record a bathroom conversation too.”

“Not to mention throwing a rock at a windshield,” said Snow.

“And assaulting a peace officer,” said Aura.

Tink chewed her bottom lip. She swung her head from left to right and scanned the group.

“But, that was all in the line of duty.” Her hands were stuffed tightly in the pockets of her pastel-colored dress.

Bella tapped her foot. “I don’t think the judge would see it that way.”

“She’s pretty much a stickler for the law,” said Aura.

Cindy snorted. “Yeah. Just look at us.”

Snow said, “You don’t want to be like us, do you Tink?”

Something shifted in Tink’s eyes, and a slow smiled spread across her face. She bit her lip.

Snow cocked her head and looked at Aura. Aura’s brow was wrinkled at first, and then, something seemed to dawn on her. She crossed her arms. “Or maybe you do.”

Tink vehemently shook her head. “No! No I don’t.”

Aura stepped forward. “Oh yes. I’ve seen the way you look at Doc. You want to spend more time with him, don’t you?”

Snow snapped her head to Aura. What was she up to?

Punzie said, “Oh yeah? No problem. What about you give us the tape and don’t say anything to the judge about what you may have heard and we’ll set you up on a date with Dr. Feel-good?”

“No!” said Snow.

They all looked at her. Aura reached over and pinched her.

“Ow. I mean, how? How would we do that?” Snow said.

Tink’s eyes widened and her ears twitched.

Punzie said, “No problem. I’ll take care of it.”

“So is it a deal?” Cindy asked.

Tink looked at Punzie, her eyes full of hope. Then she seemed to think better of the idea and shook her head. “No. No deal. I have integrity, and that’s what Jack respects. I’ll win him all on my own.” She straightened her spine. “And you should be concerned about your housemother. What have you done with her?” The little sprite narrowed her eyes and flared her nostrils.

Bella ran a hand through her chestnut hair. “Plan B it is then.”

“W-what’s plan B?” Tink asked.

Bella stepped forward and put her hands on Tink’s shoulders. “Plan B is we stuff you in the trunk of my car, drive you up to the canyon and feed you to the coyotes.”

At this point, Snow would have stepped in, but something about the pixie’s crush on her love had scrambled her brain momentarily. She stood there, waiting for the scene to play out.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Tink said defiantly.

Bella pulled out a roll of duct tape, and faster than a blink she hog tied the Pixie right there in the alley behind the restaurant.

That snapped Snow out of her trance. She pulled Bella aside and said, “You’re not really going to stuff her in the trunk of your car, are you?”

Bella whispered out of the corner of her mouth, “Relax, Princess. I’m reading to some wayward kids today at the juvie home. I’m going to spike her slushy or whatever the hell she drinks, and stick her in a classroom. She’ll blend right in, and by the time it wears off I’ll have the recorder and she won’t remember a thing.” She looked at Tink squirming on the ground like an overturned beetle. “Who knows, maybe she’ll learn something.”

“I think that plan needs work.”

“Do you have a better idea? Because I’m not going to take another strike. I have no idea how long she’s been doing the Devil’s dirty work, or what she may have on me, but my time in Hell House is almost up and I don’t plan on sticking around this dump of a town after that.”

Punzie said, “Well I’d love to stay and help, but I don’t want to.” She and Bob shuffled off to the club.

Snow tapped her foot. She needed to tell Bella what was going on, but without the book, she suspected Bella wouldn’t believe her.

Wait—

“Did you say you were reading to children?”

“That’s my assignment today. Why?”

What if she stumbled across the book? What if she read it? That would be horrible. But how could Snow stop her? 

“Is there a specific story you have in mind?”

Bella shrugged. “They seem to like vampire stories. Couldn’t keep them on the shelves when I worked for that pervert. Thought I’d go with that.” She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

Why indeed. “Just curious.”

Bella gave Snow a dubious look.

Snow tried to sound chipper. “A bit of advice. Stay away from fairytales. Kids hate those things. Especially anthologies.”

“How the hell would you know?” Bella crossed her arms.

“Oh, um, I...”

Aura stepped in then. “I saw those books in your car, Bella. I borrowed one if that’s all right. An old lady on my route mentioned she wanted something to read next time I dropped off her meal.”

Bella looked from Aura to Snow. Snow blinked at her and Aura smiled.

Bella wagged her finger at them. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you nutjobs, but when we’re done with our community crap, the three of us are going to have a chat.”

Snow shrugged. “Nothing’s going on.”

Aura scoffed. “Of course not.”

Bella eyed them suspiciously. “Yeah, right. Help me get this dragonfly into the car.”

Tink writhed on the ground, attempting to scream as Cindy tried to stifle her with whiskey. It sloshed all over the fairy’s dress.

Bella turned around and slapped the bottle from Cindy’s hand. “You dipshit, I can’t slip her into the school if she reeks like a distillery.”

Aura tapped Snow’s shoulder. She winked and mouthed
the
book
.

Snow flashed her eyes to Bella and gave a slight nod. Aura nodded back and Snow almost cheered. She had found Bella’s story nemesis.

All they needed now was Punzie’s. And then, maybe they could work together to find a way home.