Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids (7 page)
Q: What do you get when you combine a bear and a pig?
A: A teddy boar.
Q: How did the bird open the can of birdseed?
A: With a crowbar.
Two cockroaches are eating together in a garbage can. One cockroach says to the other, “Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened up down the road? It has the cleanest kitchen I've ever seen. The place sparkles and shines. There isn't a crumb anywhere to be found!” The other cockroach looked up and said, “Please stop! I'm eating here!”
Q: What do woodpeckers eat for breakfast?
A: Oak-meal.
Q: How do dolphins make hard decisions?
A: By flippering a coin.
Q: Why was the lion always tired?
A: It would only take catnaps.
Q: What is the smartest bird in the world?
A: Owl-bert Einstein.
Q: What kind of animal never gets old?
A: A gnu (new).
Q: How do turkeys travel across the ocean?
A: In a gravy boat.
Q: What did the wolf do when he heard the joke?
A: He howled.
Q: What did the spider say to the fly?
A: “Why don't you stick around for a while?”
Q: How do you grow a blackbird?
A: Plant some birdseed.
Q: Why did the turkey have a stomachache?
A: He gobbled up his food too fast.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Bat.
Bat who?
I bat you're going to let me in soon!
Q: What did the mouse say when he lost his piece of cheese?
A: “Rats!”
Q: What is a cat's favorite dessert?
A: Mice cream.
Q: Where do skunks like to sit in church?
A: In the front pew.
Josh: Should I go see the prairie dogs in Texas?
Anna: Sure, Josh, gopher it!
Q: What do you get when you cross a deer and a pirate?
A: A buck-aneer.
Q: Why was the elephant mad at the bellman?
A: He dropped its trunk.
Q: What happened when the giraffes had a race?
A: They were neck and neck the whole time.
Q: Why didn't the llama get any dessert?
A: He wouldn't eat his llama beans (lima beans).
Q: What does a cat do when he wants popcorn in the middle of the movie?
A: He pushes the paws button.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Elephant.
Elephant who?
You forgot to feed the elephant?!
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Badger.
Badger who?
I'll stop badgering you if you let me in!
Q: What do polar bears eat for lunch?
A: Iceberg-ers.
Q: How can you tell if a moose has been in your freezer?
A: By the moose tracks.
Q: What did one cat say to the other cat?
A: “Can you hear me meow?”
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Lion.
Lion who?
Quit lion around and answer the door already!
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I think I'm a moth.
Doctor: I don't think you should be seeing me. I think you need a psychiatrist!
Patient: I know, but I was on my way there and I saw you had your light on.
Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a chicken.
Doctor: How long have you been feeling this way?
Patient: Ever since I was a little egg.
Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids
88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates
(as Rob Teigen, with Joanna Teigen)
