Zoe Thanatos (6 page)

Something in the way he looked at
her made her feel vulnerable. He had witnessed her attempt to take her life,
held her in his arms, and taken her to places she’d only ever seen on a map or
in a book. Yet she knew nothing about him other than that he was
different
.

“So you rescue strangers, take them
around the world and then go to France to buy them expensive pastries for their
birthday. Who exactly are you, Evan?” she asked.

“Believe me; I’ve never done
anything like that before.” He shook his head, as though trying to do away with
an unpleasant thought.

“Okay, I get that, but why me?
Yeah, you saw that I was sad and going through something, but that doesn’t
explain why you did what you did. So far all you’ve told me is that you
couldn’t
let me do it. I guess I just don’t understand why.”

He shifted around in his seat,
balancing one leg at an angle on the cushion so that he was facing her more
directly. “I don’t really have an explanation, Zoe. I noticed you. That’s the
only way I can think to articulate it.”

The words pricked at her heart. He
noticed her. No one had ever said anything like that to her. In the past she
had boyfriends and dates, acquaintances and relationships, none of which were
exceptional. She never thought of herself as someone who deserved noticing.

“Look, Evan... There is a part of
me that feels I should thank you for jumping off the cliff after me. I mean,
clearly that’s the craziest thing anyone has ever done for me, or possibly for
anyone else. But it wasn’t some fluke that I jumped in the first place, and I’m
not even sure that, if given the opportunity to do it again, I wouldn’t take it
or any other opportunity to do what you prevented me from doing. That being
said, I absolutely appreciate everything you’ve done for me since.” She inhaled
deeply and then exhaled slowly. She searched his face for any indication that
he understood her. She had never been very good at expressing herself but hated
the idea of being disingenuous. If he never noticed her she would have jumped
off that cliff and likely died, never having the opportunity to see a little of
the world in a way only he could show her.

“So you might try to kill yourself
again?” he asked quietly. His eyes narrowed and the singular source of light in
the room cast a shadow on his face that made his expression look far graver.

The word ‘
kill’
was cold and
dark. She didn’t even like to think of her actions as an attempt at killing
herself, even though it was exactly what she had been doing.

“I don’t know. It’s not like you
can follow me around waiting to catch me.” She thought she saw him scowl at her
words. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Why did you even attempt it in the
first place?” he asked.

Zoe sat for a moment considering
her answer. Distractedly she opened the box of macarons and grabbed one of the
colorful pastries and nibbled on it. Strawberry. Delicious.

“I haven’t been happy in a very
long time,” she said finally. A year ago, literally to the day, I woke up and
felt so empty. I tried to find something to make me feel happy again, but nothing
ever did. The year dragged by so slowly, and every single day I woke up with
that same emptiness. I couldn’t take it anymore. What is a life worth living if
there’s no happiness in it?” It was easier to articulate the words than she
thought it would be. She’d never spoken them out loud before, and the sound of
her thoughts in her own ears put a weight in her chest, like gravity pulling
her to the ground.

“So that’s why you went to the
island.”

“Yes, and you intervened. A part of
me wonders if you were meant to and I wasn’t supposed to die, or if your
interference wasn’t supposed to happen and my life is altered as a result. How
can I know what was meant to happen?”

Evan let out a slow breath and cleared
his throat. He adjusted in his seat again so that he was facing her more
directly. Zoe noticed he was absentmindedly running a finger over the glass
device in his hand.

“You’ll never really know,” he
replied. “Fate and destiny aren’t things I think about or put stock in. I’m of
the belief that things happen the way they do because people make them happen
that way. Whether or not you were meant to die on your twenty-fifth birthday...
All I can say is that it is the day
after
your birthday and you’re still
here. Does it matter if I had a hand in it or not?”

She considered his words, trying on
his idea that things happened because of people, not because of fate or destiny,
or whatever else people believe in. She generally believed in what she could
see, and especially that which was rational. Fate and destiny didn’t meet her
criteria. The more she thought about it the more she realized she was a product
of action, rather than of fate. She acted out on taking her life and he acted
out on stopping her. Whatever happened to her next would be her responsibility,
and it gave her a sense of purpose to know that she may have more control over
her life than fate, destiny, or anything else.

“For what it’s worth, Zoe, I hope
you decide not to try again. You should live long enough to realize you have
more to give to this world than just your life.”

She breathed in deeply, feeling the
need to fill her lungs with more oxygen than necessary. It was the second time
he’d told her something that no one else ever had. In her experience people
were mainly out for themselves, which made his rescue all the rarer. If there
were Good Samaritans in the world she had never met one. Not until Evan.

“Is everyone like you where you’re
from?” she asked.

His face stretched out, surprise
registering in his face from her question. “Where I’m
from
?” he asked,
emphasizing the word.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only
person in the world who can travel thousands of miles in the blink of an eye,”
she retorted. “So you must not be from here.”

“Hmm.” His attention caught on
something random in the room and he stared after it. Whatever he was thinking
about must have been gnawing at him from the inside; she’d never seen anyone so
pensive. She doubted most people took the time to think anyway. “You did
promise you would tell me,” she reminded him, interrupting whatever internal
conversation he was having with himself.

“I did,” he agreed. “Fundamentally
people are the same no matter where you go. Where I’m from is no exception.”

“And where is that?” Finally! She
was going to find out the truth.

He took a slow, deep breath. “You
have to understand that what I’m about to tell you will sound bizarre and
impossible to you, while for me it is just an aspect of my life,” he started.
“Where I’m from we’ve advanced in science and technology far beyond what you
have here. Our laws of nature are different, both in how they work and how we
understand them. That’s why I can do things here that seem superhuman, for lack
of a better word.”

A voice from within her, whether it
was her heart or her head, told her to show him the door and call the police.
Maybe she really was dead and stuck in some kind of limbo existence as
punishment for not believing in God or donating to the bell ringers standing
outside the mall at Christmas. She didn’t believe in an afterlife any more than
she believed in God. She believed in what she could see in front of her and
what could be proven. Evan may have been saying things any rational person
would deem improbable, but he articulated them with such conviction that he
couldn’t be lying unless he was psychologically unhinged. He appeared to be
perfectly normal, and spoke in a manner which convinced her he
was
perfectly normal.

There was also the fact that he
had
proven the improbable to her. He couldn’t have faked Santa Ynez, Paris, Greece
and every other country he took her to, therefore it must have been real. She
knew that the simplest explanation was often the truest, and that if she
considered the impossible to be possible, the impossible could exist.

Her eyes wandered to a large
built-in bookshelf across the room and scanned a row for one book in
particular. The spine was thick and colorful, a blue background littered with
spots and stars that continued from the front cover and over to the back. It
was an expensive purchase from the California Science Center years earlier.
After watching a particularly fascinating IMAX movie about the planet Earth,
she became so enamored with the cosmos that she bought the book and read it
cover-to-cover, mostly just staring at the carefully rendered images and
reading their corresponding captions for hours at a time.

 “You’re from an alternate
universe, aren’t you?” If the impossible were possible, then it was a rational
explanation.

“How did you guess?” he asked. She
couldn’t tell if he looked more bewildered or relieved.

“I’m not arrogant enough to believe
that life only exists on one planet in a universe that dwarfs me into near
nonexistence. I also watch a lot of science shows.”
Watched, but not necessarily
comprehended,
she thought.

“I think I’m more surprised than
you are,” he chuckled.

“So what does this mean? Is there a
version of me and everyone else here that exists in your universe? Do I have a doppelganger?”

He laughed a little at her question
and relaxed back into the sofa. “No, at least not where I come from. What
you’re talking about is a multiverse where different versions of yourself
exist, each one in a different timeline of your life dependent on what choices
were made or paths taken. The universe I come from is not a replica of this
one, and as far as we know we don’t have a multiverse that replicates us.”

Zoe leaned forward and cradled her
head in her hands, using her fingers to rub her temples. It had been an
incredibly long and unpredictable day, and combined with all of the new
information she’d received it was all a bit much. However, a part of her feared
he had barely scratched the surface. She didn’t have enough brain power to try
to deconstruct the knowledge that she was speaking to a man from an alternate
universe.

“Sorry. It’s a lot to take in.”

“I understand. When I said it would
be difficult I didn’t just mean for me.”

Suddenly the thought occurred to
her that there were probably others there, walking around in her universe disguised
to look like her and everyone else. Had she ever met one before? Was Evan
sent
there to collect and send information back to his own home?

“How many?” she asked.

“Well, there’s possibly dozens of
them, maybe more. We know of only a handful of them.”

“They’re just walking around
pretending to be us?”

He looked dubious. “What?”

“Others like you. Here in this
universe?”

“Oh. No, I don’t know. It’s not
unlikely we’re the only ones who’ve been able to create the technology required
to travel between universes.”

She ran her thumb and forefinger
over the length of her eyebrows. “There’s this universe, yours, and more?”

“Of course. We’ve only identified
half a dozen but we believe there are more.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“I think that should be obvious,”
he professed. “If we can come to this universe, then doesn’t it stand to reason
we also go to the others?”

“Why?” She was completely
bewildered. Her head was already filled near capacity and he seemed to have so
much more information to give. When would exhaustion finally outweigh her
incessant need to ask questions?

 “I think I’ve given you enough for
today.”

‘
No
!’ she thought. Yes, she
was overwhelmed, but the more he told the more she wanted to hear. He was some
sort of multiverse traveler? Did he just vacation in universes for the fun of
it? And what is life like in his universe? He claimed they were more advanced,
but what exactly did that mean? Did they have flying cars? The Internet? There
was so much she wanted to know.

“Wow,” she exclaimed softly, more
to herself than to him.

 “I should probably leave, Zoe.” He
was impassive and curt, a matter-of-fact tone to his voice. He stood up and much
to her surprise she followed suit.

“Why? Where are you going?” She
looked outside and noticed it was still early morning. The sun would be rising
soon.

“There are things I have to do.”

“Are you coming back?” She found
herself wishing that he would, and soon. “I still have so many questions.” The
glass device in his hand was pulsating a glowing white light. It didn’t look
like any smartphone she had ever seen, and wondered if it was a piece of
technology from his home. It was strange how it looked both familiar and alien to
her at the same time.

“Do you want me to come back?”

Something about the way he asked
made the hair on the back of her neck and shoulders stand up. There was an
undercurrent to the question. Did she want to see him again just to ask him
questions, or was there a deeper reason? She felt uncertain of herself under
his gaze. Again it seemed like he was trying to read her innermost thoughts,
and yet she hardly knew what they were herself. Perhaps it was best that he did
leave. She wouldn’t be able to process all of her newly acquired information if
he was there giving her even more.

He had been at her side since the
island, catching her, talking on the boat, the restaurant, and zipping around
the world. A little piece of her had become used to his presence.

“Zoe?” his voice interrupted her
thoughts.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “If you’re
still in the area later maybe we could get together? If you want to?” She hoped
her voice was as casual as she meant it to be, even if she wasn’t feeling
casual at all.

“You’re not going to...” he
hesitated. “You know.”