Zits from Python Pit #6 (12 page)

Read Zits from Python Pit #6 Online

Authors: M. D. Payne; Illustrated by Keith Zoo

BOOK: Zits from Python Pit #6
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Director in Distress

“Had things really gotten so bad here that you had to call Tikoloshe?” I asked François.

“When the moon—the First Monster—shook and screamed and was drained of its energies,” said François, “I panicked, I admit. We're so isolated here that I didn't have any colleagues to check in with about what was really happening. I thought it was the end.”

“Yes, I had never heard of this facility before,” said Director Z.

“We're a very private community,” said François.

“Is that why you're on Twitter?” asked Shane.

François ignored Shane and continued. “So with nobody to turn to, I panicked and called on the power of the demon imp Tikoloshe, thinking that his dark energy could help us in our time of need. I thought he would replenish our batteries, so to speak. I went to a local witch doctor and he made the statue that you bowed down to. That's the same statue we used, the witch doctor and I, to call him here.”

François hung his head in shame.

“As soon as he got here,” he continued, “he took my pendant and stripped me of my powers. Even as the moon regained its strength, our residents got weaker, but he gave them the illusion of strength.”

“So that's why I got called here,” I said. “And now I can't leave because I have yet to fulfill my duty—to save this place from Tikoloshe and make you the Director again.”

“He told me to make a shrine using his statue, to make everyone bow down and pledge their allegiance. To keep his statue safe and clean at all times. I've bowed down to him like everyone else,” continued François. “I've promised to do what he told me, and I've believed the lies he told me and the rest of the residents about how he would make us stronger. I lied, too. I lied to my own residents.”

He flapped his leathery wings and shook his body wildly. His fur went from brown to gray. “Tikoloshe thought it would help me maintain control if I looked younger than the residents. Even I thought I was young again. Then your friend pushed me, and I was reminded. Oh, how I was reminded.”

François put a wing over his face and cried.

“Thank you, François,” I said, walking over to comfort him. “But why are we even talking about this? Tikoloshe can be invisible, right? Couldn't he be nearby?”

“He can when he wants to be,” said François, wiping his tears away. “But I assure you, I can always tell when Tikoloshe is nearby, and he's not here now. But when he does come, we're going to be done for.”

François started to cry again. The other monsters that had wandered in during his long confession hung their heads with him.

“No, you're not done for,” said Director Z. “We're going to be just fine. You mustn't fear Tikoloshe. We know where his power lies: In that statue you made us bow to. In the same statue that you used to call him to you.”

“I don't understand,” said François. “My poor brain is so tired.”

“Wait, I get it now!” I said, turning to Director Z. “I'm remembering back to when you saved the statue from the candle in the tower, François. You were terrified it would burn. Tikoloshe told you to treat the statue with respect, to protect it, but he didn't tell you why. He didn't want anyone to know.”

“Know what?” asked Director Z.

“That the statue is his source of power,” I said. “If we destroy it, he'll lose his grip on The House of Eternal Rest. Why else would he care about the statue? It would be meaningless to him.”

“Well, let's hurry up and destroy the thing,” said Gordon.

“Yes, now more than ever, we need to move quickly,” said Director Z. “While we were searching for clues, I spoke with Principal Prouty. Things are not going well at home—”

“My grades?!” asked Ben. He turned white. “Are my grades okay? Have the Nurses ruined them?”

“Everything is as it was, and the Nurses are doing the best they can to impersonate you in your home and at school. But your parents are now well aware that something is wrong, and we can't continue the charade much longer.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“It was a combination of us doing this for far too long—it's been a month now, you know—and the fact that your father just came back from Afghanistan,” said Director Z.

“Dad's home?” I asked, suddenly feeling homesick.

“It took a lot of doing, but we were able to have someone meet him at the airport,” continued Director Z. “I feel bad for him, having served our country so well, only to be tricked when he got home. Still, as well as we did covering up your disappearance, your father's return upset the whole balance, and I fear we have only a few more days to keep the illusion in place.”

“We'd better get back, then,” said Nabila.

“All right,” said François. “To the tower! Rangda, tweet to all your followers about what's happening. And I suggest you change your handle.”

“Let's get the statue,” said Gordon, running out of Rangda's room. “Yeah. YeaaaAAAAAAHHHH, NO!”

Gordon clutched his face and fell to the ground.

Lakes of Snakes

Gordon moaned in pain.

The monsters stopped in their tracks.

“What is it?” I said, rushing over to him.

“My zit!” moaned Gordon. “The big one. It hurts so bad again. Like it's drilling into my head.”

I looked at his face and saw the swollen, ugly, massive red bubble on his forehead. It jiggled a little.

“Oh man, is something moving in there?” asked Ben. He choked back a little barf. “HHHHHWhat should we do?”

“Don't make fun of me,” Gordon said to Ben. “Your zits aren't looking so good, either.”

Ben felt the bumps all over his face and looked panicked.

There
was
something moving inside Gordon's zit, but I couldn't let him know. “It probably just got annoyed when the soccer ball hit your face,” I said as calmly as I could.

“I need a mirror,” said Gordon. “Who's got a mirror? I've got to pop this thing.”

I looked over at Shane and Nabila, shook my head, and mouthed,
I don't think he should pop it.

“There's one in my room, dearie,” said Betty.

“All right, we can't let Gordon do this alone,” I said. “Monsters, get up to that statue and destroy it!”

“You heard what he said,” said François. “Move it.”

My friends and I rushed down to Betty's room. There was a small bathroom with a toilet and a sink.

Gordon looked into the mirror at the massive, swollen zit on his face. He raised his index fingers toward his forehead . . .

“Get ready,” I said to the others.

“Ready?” Gordon asked. “What do you guys have to get ready for?”

I looked around the bathroom for something to defend myself from the snake when it flew out of Gordon's face. I saw an oversize toilet plunger.

“I really don't think you should pop that,” said Shane.

“I can't take it anymore,” moaned Gordon. “It's got to go!”

“I wish I had the courage,” said Ben, peering into the mirror. “But I'm just going to have to let these pop on their own.”

“Did your zits just double in size?” I asked Ben.

“I don't know,” he shrieked. “This is the first time I've seen them.”

Gordon positioned his fingers on either side of the zit and grunted hard. The zit turned an ugly white but stayed intact.

Gordon brought his hands down. “Arrrrgh, this is so frustrating!”

“It's okay,” said Shane. “You should leave it alone. That was—”

But before Shane could finish his sentence, Gordon planted his thumbs on either side of the zit, gritted his teeth, and bore down on the zit double-time.

“GRRRRRRRR,” Gordon grunted, and sweat began to pour down his face.

He paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and then pushed his thumbs into either side again.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Gordon screamed, shaking as he pressed harder and harder until—

CRUNCHSPLAT!

A huge snake, along with a spray of blood and pus, flew out of Gordon's forehead, hit the mirror with a FWAP, and plopped into the sink.

Gordon was so relieved, he had no idea what had happened. “YEAH!” he yelled. “That felt GREAT!”

Ben, who was so white now that his zits looked beet-red, moved to the side so Gordon could reach the toilet paper.

I raised the plunger like a baseball bat and approached the sink.

HISSSSSSSS!

The snake shot out of the sink straight at my face.

“Aaaargh!” I yelled, hitting the snake with the plunger before it could sink its tiny little dagger teeth into my face. It flopped onto the floor and slithered toward the door.

“Get out of here!” Nabila yelled. She jumped up as the snake quickly slithered between her feet and out of Betty's room.

“Guys!” yelled Ben. “When the snake hissed, something happened to my face.”

“What do you mean?” asked Shane.

“Ben!” Nabila screeched, pointing.

The zits on his face had grown almost Gordon-size.

I reached up to feel my face boiling over, too.

“Yeah, I think you should pop those,” said Shane. “Just aim in that direction.” Shane pointed to the door.

GURRRRRPLE GWUUURBLE GLUB!

The toilet started to bubble, and a huge snake with red eyes slithered out and flopped onto the floor.

HISSSSSSSSS.

“Everyone out!” I yelled.

As I turned to run, I could hear the toilet bubble again.

FLOP.

“Another one!” Shane yelled.

Tiny snakes poured out of the vents in the hallway. We had to dodge them as we ran down the hall and passed the cave room with the hole in the ceiling.

FLOP HISS FLOP HISS FLOP HISS.

Snakes were pouring in and made a scaly, slithering lake in the center of the room.

“They're coming from everywhere!” Nabila yelled.

We sprinted down the hall, and at the exact moment we couldn't hear the hissing anymore, Ben fell to his knees and clutched his face.

“My face!” he yelled. “It feels all hot and bubbly. Ugh, now I know how that zombie corpse that fell on me felt.”

“Let me see,” I said.

He moved his hands and—

POP! POP! POP!

Three snakes flew out of Ben's zits and hit my chest.

“Eeee!” I yelled, and brushed off the snake.

STOMP!

Roy crushed the snakes with his massive furry foot.

“Roy!” I yelled. “Help us!”

“Help you?” he said. “Help me! There are snakes everywhere!” He ran past us and kept going in the direction we had come from.

“Wait!” I yelled. “There are more that way!”

Roy turned around. “Then we're trapped!” he said. “They're upstairs, too!”

“Guys?” whimpered Ben. “I think one is still in my face.”

“Oh man, he's got a tail coming out of that other zit,” Gordon said.

“Well, don't just stand there,” yelled Ben. “Get it out!”

Shane leaned down and snatched the tail. He pulled the snake out slowly.

“Arrgh!” said Ben. “It feels so gross!”

“Almost,” said Shane.

SCHLOOOCK!

The snake came out, and Shane tossed it.

It hit Roy.

EEEEEEEEE!

“What were you thinking?” yelled Roy.

“Sorry,” said Shane.

HISSSSSSSSSS.

“The snakes are getting closer,” I said. “Everybody, let's move.”

We ran down the hallway and toward the main section of the dungeon. Just when we hit the main room, a river of snakes of all shapes and sizes slithered down the stairs. Each one had eyes that glowed red.

“I told you the snakes were this way,” said Roy.

HISSSSSSSSSSS.

The snakes from the hallway slithered in.

We were surrounded.

“What are we going to do?” Nabila asked.

I held up my pendant. “Snakes, obey your master!”

The snakes slithered even closer.

“Not quite yet, my friends!” yelled a high-pitched voice. I felt like it was right next to me.

Something snatched my pendant out of my hand and floated in the air in front of me.

“These children deserve to die, yes they do,” said the voice. Slowly, Tikoloshe's leathery, wart-covered face appeared, crooked nose first, in front of me. “But not yet.”

He was barely three and a half feet tall. He looked like a mess, from his crazy hair to his holey clothes to his dirty feet that scratched impatiently at the floor. He stared at the pendant with bug eyes.

“Man, you're even uglier in person,” said Gordon.

Tikoloshe threw back his head and giggled an insane giggle.

Immediately, another huge zit formed on Gordon's forehead.

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