Zane's the Other Side of the Pillow (23 page)

“That's because Courtney doesn't know he's a filthy, mangled mutt!”

“Actually, according to him, he's an Alaskan Malamute.”

“An Alaskan what?”

Tevin walked over to me and took me in his arms. “I don't want us to fight about this. What they're doing has nothing to do with us.”

“They're our friends,” I reminded him.

“Yes, but they're grown friends and we have to stay out of it.”

I looked up at him. “Are you asking me not to tell?”

“I'm asking you to really think about what doing that will accomplish. As of today, I'm not even feeling Floyd like that. We may eventually be able to be friends again, now that I've calmed down
and can see it from another perspective. But even if we do start hanging out again, you telling Courtney will only make matters ten times worse.

“If she's content, let the woman be happy. They have four kids. If she divorces him, it'll affect them in the long run.”

“And if he gives her HIV, or some lunatic broad shows up on their doorstep to confront her because he refuses to leave her and attacks her, how will that affect the children?”

Tevin chuckled. “You and your imagination. It's not going to go that far. The STD concern is valid, and I would hope Floyd's not irresponsible enough to fuck women raw. But as far as him lying and telling a chick that he's in love or leaving his wife, he's definitely not that reckless.

“I don't know all of his comings and goings but the ones from work that I know about are only interested in getting fucked.”

I pushed him away from me.

How the fuck do you know all that?

“How do you know that's what they want? Have they come on to you?”

“Jemistry, I'm a young, successful, black surgeon in the DMV. Women try to get my attention. You know that. But you didn't have to do that, because I tried to get your attention, and since the night we met, you're all I ever think about.”

I tried to fight it, but I blushed.

“All I want you to concentrate on, baby, is feeding my baby, loving me, and deciding which bedroom you want to turn into the nursery. That's all you need to be concerned about. Why bring any unnecessary drama into our lives? We've had enough of it while we're trying to establish our future.”

I had to give it to him. He did make a valid argument. Telling Courtney about Floyd cheating would be the equivalent of throwing an alligator into a swimming pool full of people.

“Let me tell you something about Floyd,” Tevin continued. “Not in his defense but to explain a little bit about his crazy behavior.”

“There is no defense or legit excuse for him cheating.”

“I agree. All I'm saying is that I recognized something about him a long time ago. We all have flaws but one of Floyd's biggest ones is being born with such a ridiculous ego. He thinks so highly of himself, which makes it both a blessing and a curse. He's successful because he always knew he would be, and no one would've been able to convince him otherwise, even if they'd had the audacity to try.

“He takes care of himself physically because he believes that he's godlike material. So he'll never succumb to any kind of addiction. Not alcohol, not drugs, and not—”

“Pussy?” I asked sarcastically.

“No, definitely not that.” Tevin sighed. “Floyd's wilding out because he believes that's what men are supposed to do. He grew up in a family where he was told that's what men do. His father and uncles told him that he was supposed to get a wife, buy a house, father some children, and always have some backup action.”

“So what you're trying to say is that Floyd is a victim of circumstance?” I laughed. “You can miss me with all of that! He's a typical man!”

“That's the point. In his world, he's only being typical.”

“And is that typical in your world, Tevin?”

“Jemistry, you have a lot of trust issues. I get that. And what happened with Winsome's crazy ass didn't help, but I'm not fucking around on you. I can't make you believe it, but I hope that I'm not going to have to go through this kind of speculation on the regular. I want us to have a long, peaceful life together. That's it. That's all.”

I decided to lighten up the mood.

“You know, being pregnant has heightened my senses.” I pointed to my vagina. “Especially down there.”

“What do you mean, especially down there?”

“I've been playing with myself a lot more lately.”

Tevin chuckled. “You don't need to play with yourself. You have me.”

I pouted. “Why can't I have the best of both worlds?”

He doesn't get it!

“I was thinking. Maybe we could make love with a device inside of me.”

“A device? You want me to share you with a big-ass vibrator or dildo?”

“First off, I have not seen a vibrator or dildo that can give your elephantine dick a run for its money.”

We both laughed.

“I'm talking about a bullet. I'll stick it in, turn it on, and then you can bang my pussy out while it turns us both out.”

Tevin looked appalled. “I'm not using a sex toy!”

“Why not?”

“Because . . . because I love you.”

I giggled. “You have completely lost me.” I waved my hand toward the ceiling. “That went way over my head.”

“Let me school you on something about men, baby. All that freaky shit in the bedroom is cool. Food play, role-play, whips, chains, blindfolds, all kinds of shit. But to ask a man to share you with a sex toy steps over the line. Men will do that with women they are just fucking. It is what it is, but when a man loves a woman, he wants to feel like he can satisfy her all by himself.

“Asking me to be up inside of you with a bullet is like asking me to be up in you with another man's dick.”

I fell out laughing. “You are completely shot out. That is the craziest thing that I've ever heard.”

“It's crazy to you because you're a female. What if I asked you to let me put a female blow-up doll next to us in bed so I could go back and forth between the two of you? Or even if I pulled out of you and started jacking myself off? How would that make you feel?”

I stood there pondering what he had just said. He may have been onto something.

“I see your reasoning, kind of. However, women are supposed to use sex toys.”

“Says who?” Tevin stared at me. “Exactly. Women making excuses for using a bunch of sex toys and saying that they're for variety is like men saying that they go out and fuck other women for variety. Those are merely attempts to justify wanting to do what you want to do regardless.”

Again, he had a point. I had never thought of it that way. Men did often claim that they cheated because their wives or girlfriends weren't giving them what they needed at home. A lot of women cheated as well, but Tevin's theory about sex toys being a substitute for a man's dick was valid. Then again, a lot of women weren't getting any dick on the regular. They still needed to relieve some stress.

“I see where you're coming from but, on the real, a lot of women get used to utilizing toys during dick droughts. When they get a man, they still use them because they're a part of their lifestyle at that point. It's part of their routine, like getting a manicure and pedicure every other weekend, or getting their hair done every week, or working out at the gym three days a week. At least they're not fucking someone else.”

Tevin took me into his arms and slobbered me down. I felt his dick harden against my midriff.

I pulled away. “What's gotten into you?”

“Hell, all this talk about fucking, inanimate objects inside your
pussy . . . inside
my
pussy. Of course, I'm horny now.” He pecked me on the lips. “Aren't you?”

I grinned and started taking off my clothes. “Baby, I was born horny.”

I turned, ran toward the foyer and up the steps. “Last one to the bedroom has to perform oral sex first!”

Tevin was rushing behind me and then slowed down. “Well, shit, let me take my time. I'm starving!”

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

—Lao Tzu

I
t was my birthday. September eighteenth. Tevin planned to take me out to dinner later that night, but we were doing something a little different. He had paid about four hundred dollars to sign us up for a couples cooking class at CulinAerie on Fourteenth Street in downtown DC. I was excited. We were going to make some surf and turf and then eat what we had prepared. It was great to have a man who loved to cook. An added bonus.

It was the third Wednesday of the month and, as usual, both the students and faculty were complaining about it being “Hump Day.” I had always wondered if the “Hump Day” phenomenon was as bad in other cities or whether it was because Washington, DC had so many federal government workers. To me, Wednesdays were simply another day of the week. Maybe it was because I enjoyed my job. If I were doing something I despised, I probably would have been doing a weekend countdown as well. Maybe that was the defining factor. People only worried about celebrating or dreading Wednesdays—depending on whether they were a glass half-full or a glass half-empty type of person—when they didn't feel happy in their careers.

I was delighted to be a principal. Ever since I was a child, I had always wanted to be an educator. I had taught English after getting my master's, and then moved my way up the food chain until the superintendent took a liking to me, and made me an assistant
principal first. In 2010, he had promoted me to principal when the previous principal at Medgar Evers retired after nearly forty years of service.

We had a guest speaker that day. A former student, Lee Ricci, who had recently registered the patent for a new digital platform that had quite a buzz surrounding it. Many experts predicted that it would one day rival Google or Internet Explorer. He was major and everyone was very proud of him. He was under twenty-five and on track to become a billionaire by the time he hit thirty.

He gave an amazing and motivational speech, followed by greeting students individually in the auditorium. The baby was kicking inside of me like crazy. While uncomfortable, I loved it all the same. The experience of carrying a fetus in my belly was one that I could not describe before I actually went through it. I was getting more and more nervous, and overwhelmed with the thought of being responsible for the life of another human being . . . forever.

“Mr. Ricci, that was phenomenal!” I told him as I walked him out of the chaos toward the flight of stairs leading down to my office. “We are so proud of you here at Medgar Evers. You're one of our most accomplished alumni.”

“People can say what they want about DC Public Schools,” he replied. “I was given a great education and I want to make sure that youth understand that it is up to them to use the opportunities presented to them instead of wasting them.”

I nodded my head as I felt the little one kicking inside my belly. “As you can imagine, every day is a challenge when it comes to trying to keep thousands of students under control and interested in school.”

“I can do more than imagine it. I remember it.”

We both laughed.

“Add on all the new technology and distractions, and I'm sure you have to keep things creative,” he added.

“Indeed. It's hard to compete with iPhones, Androids, and tablets. And threatening to confiscate them does very little. The kids are not going to leave them at home and when they're bored in class, the temptation to log on to something can be overwhelming.

“Are the classrooms here equipped with the latest computerized learning gadgets?”

“Is that a trick question?” I giggled. “We barely have up-to-date textbooks.”

“Well, I'd like to donate whatever you need.”

I was stunned. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, very. It's the least I can do.”

“Thank you so much. I can't believe you'd—”

That's when it happened. I felt a sharp pain in the left side of my back as two male students pushed past us on the steps. Next thing I knew, I was losing my footing and falling.

Mr. Ricci tried to grab me but he couldn't hold on to my arm.

I toppled down the flight of steps, hit my head, and passed out as I heard several people yelling out my name and saw Mr. Ricci and Lilibeth running toward me.

I woke up in the hospital under what seemed like ten-thousand-watt light bulbs on the ceiling. As my eyes adjusted, I could feel the IV needle in my arm and was grateful that I wasn't dead. The bars were raised on the sides of the bed so I wouldn't topple out and I heard Lilibeth whispering to someone in the distance.

My mouth was extremely dry and I was sore all over.

You fell down a flight of fucking steps!
I reminded myself.

The baby!

My left arm, the one without the IV, instinctively dropped to my stomach. I still had a little pouch there but I panicked. I didn't feel the baby moving.

I attempted to speak but nothing came out, so I rattled one of the bed rails to get someone's attention.

Lilibeth and a nurse appeared in my range of view within seconds.

“She's awake!” Lilibeth exclaimed, and then leaned over me, staring into my eyes. “Jemistry, can you hear me?”

I nodded and held my hand up to point at my throat.

The nurse said, “She has cotton mouth. Let me go get her some ice water. I'll be right back and I'll alert Dr. Horton that she's awake.”

The nurse left the room and I realized that I was at Providence Hospital where Dr. Horton practiced. Thank goodness the school was in the correct zone for the ambulance and that Lilibeth remembered his name from making my appointments with him over the years, prior to my pregnancy. I had been making the prenatal ones myself over the summer months.