You Can't Go Home Again (9 page)

He ran his hand gently down Jenn’s side, brushing the side
of her breast the way he knew she liked. “In the meantime, want to pretend we
had a fight and have some make-up sex?”

He waggled his eyebrows, making Jenn laugh as she rolled
into his kiss.

The Fourth of July dawned hot and steamy, the heavy air
bringing the promise of even more heat and humidity by the afternoon. Dani was
very glad Jenn’s parents had a pool; otherwise she would have bailed on the
party and gone to the pond instead.

But before the party, she went for a run. Knowing she would
need to burn off some steam before facing this gathering, she ran a little over
eight miles. She had started running when she got to L.A. It had been her
stress release. She would grab her iPod, play her favorite music and tune
everything else out. The best thing about it was that you could run anywhere.
All you needed were tennis shoes.

After a quick shower she threw on her bathing suit, cutoffs
and a tank top. She slathered on sunscreen, wound her hair into a knot and
yanked a hat down over her eyes. A little Chapstick, and she was ready.

She packed an ice chest with beer, soda and water, loaded
everything into her car and headed over to Jenn’s. She was riding over with
them in Bri’s truck so they only needed one designated driver. Brian had signed
up, leaving Jenn and Dani free to party a little. He was being the good guy
since they never got to see each other. She thought again about just how lucky
Jenn was.

A quick thought raced through her mind, and she wondered
briefly how things may have been if she had stayed. Instead of going to L.A.
Instead of leaving before he woke. Would things be any different? Then she
remembered her vision. Jace sitting there, head in his hands, thinking this had
been the worst mistake he’d ever made.

No. She had made the right choice. And as soon as Jenn and
Bri got back from their honeymoon, she would go back to L.A.

Funny, how L.A. was feeling less and less like home to her.
She fingered the chain around her neck, thinking of Nina. She loved Jenn, loved
her like a sister. But right now she could really use a lunch with Nina. She
always put things in perspective. Dani sighed. Had it really only been four
days since they’d been having lunch at the café? Somehow, it felt like a
lifetime.

A few minutes later, she got to Jenn’s and threw her stuff
into the bed of the truck before she even knocked. She found herself smiling at
the memories this brought back. She was still grinning when Jenn opened the
door.

“What?”

“What, what?”

“What are you smiling about?”

“Oh. I was just thinking about all those lake trips we used
to make. When we were in school, remember? Piling all our stuff into the bed of
Jace’s old 1973 Ford F150. We had so much fun in that rusted-out piece of
crap.”

Jenn smiled too. “We spent so much time together, people
always thought we were attached at the hip. Or some weird quad couple.”

Dani laughed, grimacing at the same time. “Yeah. I remember
that.”

Jenn opened the truck and pushed the remote to open the
garage. Looking at the leather interior, GPS, DVD players, etc., Dani laughed a
little more. “Well, it’s still a Ford, but it’s definitely not a piece of
crap.”

They grabbed another cooler, filled it with more beer, soda
and water, tossing some ice on top of it.

“Jenn, how did you and Bri get together? I mean…not the
details, but after knowing each other so long, spending three years in each
other’s pocket, how did you transition into dating?”

“Chemistry.” Jenn raised her brows a couple times, a sneaky
little grin sliding across her mouth.

Laughing, Dani said, “No, seriously. If there was chemistry,
wouldn’t it have always been there? So, what…you just ignored it for nine
years? Or, was it not there and then, bam, one day it was.”

Dani saw Jenn glance backwards, a curious look in her eyes.
Smiling, Jenn asked, “You lookin’ for pointers?”

Pointers were the last thing she needed. Chemistry there was
plenty of; what she needed was understanding. Something to make sense out of
everything—Jace’s attitude, her insane reaction to it, not to mention the
physical side of things. Thinking again about yesterday morning, Dani flushed
scarlet, stumbling out her next words. “No, no pointers. Just wondering is
all.”

“Dani, you’re blushing. Is there someone in L.A.?”

“What? No. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you wear that necklace constantly, even when you run.
And now, all the questions, I just thought there might be someone specific you
were wondering about.”

“No, there’s no one in L.A. The necklace is from Nina—you’ve
met her before. It’s just some protection stones and stuff. She told me I’d
need it while I was here, so I promised her I’d wear it.”

“Aaah, okay.” She seemed to be telling the truth, and having
met Nina, the necklace made sense. “Well, in that case… With Brian and me, it
just kind of happened. We met for a beer one night, at Off Campus, which we had
done pretty regularly since we’d gone back to school. He came over after, we
watched a movie. Really casual, same thing the four of us had done for years.
And then, I guess we both dozed off because the next morning I woke up, sprawled
across him on my couch. I looked up at him, and before I could even think, he
was kissing me. Well, without the details, one thing led to another, and here
we are four years later.”

“So, how did you know it was something? I mean, more than
just a one-night stand, or even fuck buddies. How did you know it was real and
not a mistake?”

“The same way anyone knows. With your heart.”

It sounded blasé, but Dani could see the truth written
across Jenn’s face. It didn’t help her with Jace at all, but she could see the
love between her friends. She’d known before she even got back here that it was
real, had heard it in Jenn’s voice. Witnessing it firsthand was completely
different.

Brian walked out, effectively ending their girl talk. He
loaded the cooler, some chairs and some blankets for the fireworks that night.

Jenn’s parents’ house backed up to a small lake. It was
manmade specifically for their community, but each year their Home Owners’
Association put on a gorgeous fireworks show. They would all sit out on the
back lawn and watch the fireworks once the sun went down.

As they piled in the truck, Dani in the backseat, she felt
Jace’s absence with an almost physical sensation. Maybe it was because she’d
missed the changes the last five years had wrought. Maybe she was just
hyperaware of him, or the lack of his presence. But there was a hole in the pit
of her stomach, a constant reminder of just how much his anger hurt.

Just as she vowed to herself that she would find a way to
fix it, she heard Jenn say, “You know, he still has that truck. He fixed it up
when he got home from Afghanistan. It’s been completely restored.”

Since they’d been talking about the fireworks, not Jace,
Dani knew she wasn’t alone in missing him.

They were later getting to the party than they’d wanted to
be, so things were already in full swing when they arrived. Dani walked through
the house, greeting people she hadn’t seen in years. Some she’d known well,
while others were barely acquaintances. Coming home seemed to make everyone
your “friend.” When she finally made it through to the kitchen, she found
Jenn’s mom, Ann, dishing out more dip into serving bowls. When Ann saw Jenn and
Dani, she dropped everything and came barreling around for a welcome hug.

Though she was a petite woman, Dani felt sure Ann was going
to break her ribcage. When she finally stepped away, Dani saw tears in her
eyes. A rush of emotion surged through her, and she felt her own eyes growing
moist.

“Look at you! You’re beautiful! I can’t tell you how happy
we are to see you, baby. Why on earth did you stay away so long? Oh, Greg has
been waiting to see you. I think he’s out back. He was just getting ready to
start the grill. Come on, follow me. He’ll never forgive me if I don’t take you
out there right away.”

She stopped in her tracks, turned back and planted a quick
kiss on Jenn’s cheek. “Hi, baby. Sorry. Now, let’s go find your father.”

She grabbed Dani’s hand, pulling her along through the crowd
that seemed to miraculously part for her. When they finally made it out the
door, she paused for one second, glancing toward the grill before making a
beeline that direction.

Dani saw Greg Stone, all six foot five of him, tossing
burgers on the grill. When Ann called out his name, he turned, dropping the
tongs on the counter before walking to meet them.

Before she could even say hello, Dani found herself engulfed
in a giant bear hug. Jenn’s father was a big softie, a giant teddy bear of a
man, but normally very reserved. He played things close to the vest, as he
liked to say. Such an outward display of affection in front of so many people
really wasn’t his way. Which made the giant hug and soft “Welcome home” all the
more special.

Dani felt her eyes tearing up again. Not normally a crier,
she wasn’t at all sure what to do with the emotions roiling around inside her.
She found herself simply holding on, feeling safe and loved in the giant arms
that held her.

When she finally stepped back, she felt one tear roll down
her cheek and quickly swiped her face with the back of her hand. Knowing she
hated sloppy displays, Greg simply winked and ruffled her hair.

She told Jenn’s parents a little about L.A., her job, her
friends. After a couple of minutes the burgers started smoking. Greg waved his
hand at her and Jenn. “Go on now, go see your friends. I’ve got work to do.”
His tone was cranky, much the same as he’d used when they were kids bugging him
to play tea party with them, but he was smiling.

Dani made the rounds, visiting with everyone, catching them
up on her life, learning about theirs. A long, exhausting two hours passed
before she finally made it poolside. She found Jenn perched on a lounger next
to Nicole.

Dani quickly stifled the surge of guilt and plastered a
pleasant smile on her face. If you didn’t look too closely at the tightness
around her eyes, you’d never notice the stress.

“Hey, you finally made it. I figured you’d been waylaid. If
I didn’t see you in the next four hours, I was going to send out the cavalry.”

Dani grimaced, scrunching her nose in the process. The only
really good thing so far, other than seeing Jenn’s parents, was avoiding Jace.
“Yeah, everyone wanted to catch up. But I expected that. Anyway, I’m here now.
Where’d our coolers end up? I need a beer.”

“Oh, they’re over at the edge of the patio. Have a seat and
I’ll grab it. I need a refill anyway.” She wiggled her empty glass of wine
vaguely in Dani’s direction.

“Yeah, just let me get in and cool off a bit first. I’m
heading toward boiling.” Dani tossed her towel on the chair next to Jenn,
following it with her tank top and shorts. When she was in just her suit, she
kicked off her sandals and headed to the pool. Completely unaware of the eyes
watching her every move.

Jace had been silently congratulating himself on avoiding
Dani as he grabbed another beer and headed back to the guys. He was hanging
with Bri, Zack, Sean and a couple of other guys they knew from high school.
Then he turned away from the ice chests and saw her tiptoeing quickly toward
the pool.

Her hair was in some kind of knot, a rubber band holding it
in place. As far as he could see she wasn’t wearing any makeup. She wore a
tie-die rainbow bikini, and her toes were bright pink today. She was gorgeous.
Before he had time to process what he was doing, he was moving toward her.

He reached her just as she stepped into the pool. He heard
her sigh of relief, smirking a little at her obvious discomfort. “Feel better?”

She turned, startled at hearing his voice. “I’m sorry?”

“Your feet. I saw you running over here.”

“Yes, much better, thank you. I left my sandals by the
chair. I didn’t realize it was quite this hot.”

When he heard her overly polite tone, along with the
laughter just underneath it, he figured she would go along with his attempts at
polite conversation. He had every intention of keeping things casual and
distant. He couldn’t do it.

He had to touch her. His hands literally itched to feel her
skin. He reached forward, stopping just short of rubbing her arm. At the last
second he changed directions, reaching instead to play with her necklace.

He brushed his fingers in the cleft just between her
breasts. He tried to keep his eyes focused on the necklace, keep them off the
more tantalizing part of her anatomy. When he saw the little shiver, his eyes
were inexorably drawn to the fabric hiding what he really wanted to see. He
zeroed in on her nipples, beginning to tighten, pressing against the fabric of
her suit. Was that response from his touch, or the cold water swirling around
her calves? “I see you still wear string bikinis.” He glanced up at her eyes,
gauging her response. “They look even better now than they did five years ago.”

His voice had gone husky, deeper than normal. She shivered,
goose bumps breaking out all across her skin. “Tha…thank you.”

His hand was still on her chest, spinning the rocks around
his fingers. “The necklace… I notice you wear it all the time. Does it mean
something special?”

She arched one eyebrow, a sardonic smirk on her lips.
“No…yes…it was a gift.”

His body tensed, dropping the necklace as if it burned his
skin. When he saw her eyes tighten, her jaw lock, he realized she was tensing
too, waiting for the nasty comment he would deliver next. Jace felt the anger,
trying to bite it back before he said something he shouldn’t. He had promised
not to cause any more scenes.