You Are the Reason (20 page)

Lee stared at me for a split second, then he plastered a too-bright smile on his face. “Great. Since I
am
gay, I can wear this.”

He disappeared into the closet before I could apologize for my dumb remark. There was the sound of several drawers opening and closing, and he emerged once again, this time with the shirt on and neatly tucked in. He was wearing leather shoes with accentuated pointy toes. I gritted my teeth and bit back a comment about how gaudy they were because I was sure he was doing it on purpose. On the other side of the room, there was an en suite bathroom, and Lee vanished into the depths and left me silently cursing my stupidity about the “gay” comments.

I heard the tap go on, the splash of water, and brushing of teeth. I looked around his room, but there wasn’t anything much to look at. The room was functional, with pretty pictures on the wall, but nothing with much personality. Lee obviously expressed himself with his clothes.

I wondered if I should go back downstairs and seek out Charlotte. But in the end, I sat on the edge of Lee’s bed and looked at the picture on the wall. It was a jungle scene, and as I stared at it, more animals began to appear. A tiger peeking through the grass, a monkey in the shadows, a weird little pigmy animal in the dark hollow of a tree base.

I could nearly fill Noah’s ark by the time Lee appeared again. I had half an idea of what he’d planned, so I was ready for it. With a determined smile, I looked up and tried to not to pale at the sight of his neatly gelled hair and heavily made up, sparkling eyes.

“Hey. You look great,” I lied through my teeth with my best salesman smarm. But then I took a second look and decided that yes, contrary to what I expected, he did look great. The silver glitter around his eyes was a little distracting, but it gave his face a smoldering, sexy look that turned me on. His hair was defying gravity and was combed back from his face, which opened up his features. I focused on his lips and realized they were coated in gloss. It made them look wet. Of course, that then reminded me of sexual matters and other times Lee’s lips had looked wet. Involuntarily I growled deep in my throat. His eyes widened.

He gasped out loud with dawning astonishment. “We can’t.”

I narrowed my eyes and assessed the options. Sound and location could be a problem. I glanced toward the bedroom door to see if there was a lock, and heard Lee choke. Before I could stop him, he darted through the open doorway, calling, “C’mon. We don’t want to be late. Mum? Mum, we’re out of here.”

Inside, I felt like a tiger, pacing the bars of my cage while the tourists laughed and teased. One day those bars wouldn’t be there, and I would be able to pounce. But today was not the day.

I shelved my disappointment and vowed to drive him mad later that night.

J
AKE
ANSWERED
the door with a huge welcoming grin.

“Hi. Come on in. Maxine has been missing her uncle Dave.”

That made me feel all warm and tingly, and I forgot my nervousness about introducing Lee to Patrick and Jake. Jake didn’t flinch one iota at the sight of Lee’s makeup. He shook hands with him. I watched him closely for any sign of withdrawal or a sneer, but there was nothing. It made me feel worse about myself. Why couldn’t I turn off the part of me that jumped away from anything femme?

Patrick smiled and came forward with his hand outstretched, asking, “What’s the aftershave you’re wearing? Giorgio Armani? I don’t recognize it, but its base is familiar.”

Lee blinked and said, “Calvin Klein.” Then he realized Patrick still had his hand out, and he grasped it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…. Are you blind?”

I turned red and felt like a dipstick, then rushed in to smooth things over between the two men. “Shit. Sorry. My bad. Yes. I didn’t think to warn you, Lee. Patrick’s blind, so you need make sure you don’t move the furniture. Unless he insults you. Then you have my full permission to redecorate. He also has the best nose in the business, so he’s probably already dissecting your aftershave, shampoo, and what you had for breakfast.”

Jake laughed. Patrick looked shocked. Lee looked afraid.

“Deal with it, Patti-cake,” Jake said with a little hip bump that was intimate and cute at the same time. “Friends tease. And you also should’ve noticed that Davo doesn’t think blindness is a disability either. Now, go and get us some drinks while I make Lee welcome, despite him being chucked in the deep end. Lee’s gone all white, thinking he’s just shoved his foot in his mouth, and Davo has spotted Maxine in the bassinette and is nearly drooling because he wants a cuddle.”

Patrick moved off obediently while Lee remarked, “I want cuddles from Maxine too. She’s a gorgeous baby. I’ll be interested to see how much she’s grown since I last saw her.”

I quickly stepped up to the bassinette and scooped Maxine up before Lee could get to her first. She was my friend’s baby. Not Lee’s. I hardly noticed the pale lilac outfit she was wearing, other than it made a nice change from pink. Jake had put another band around her tiny head.

“Hey, baby,” I cooed as I picked her up. She looked startled, like she was wondering who it was whisking her away from her silent conversation with the pink rabbit in her bassinette. So I held her in the crook of my arm, where she could see me. I watched as her eyes focused on my nose and I smiled at her. “Do you remember Uncle Dave and the worst nappy ever?”

To my utmost enchantment, her face transformed. It softened. Then a huge, gummy grin lit her up as she beamed her approval at me.

“Oh my God. She smiled.” I turned with delight to see Jake’s look of pride.

“Yes. She started doing that the day after you stayed over. I thought you had taught it to her,” he said. “She’s been practicing daily now, so she was all ready for when you came back.”

Patrick returned with a couple of beers, and the talk turned to raising a child. Lee told them all about his brother’s children and their funny moments, while I coaxed several more smiles out of the baby. The others happily chatted away until Maxine gave a squawk of discontent. Lee immediately turned and held his arms out.

“My turn. Hand her over. She’s had enough of you,” he said as he took her. I relinquished her reluctantly. I tried to keep the frown of disapproval off my face, and grabbed my beer bottle instead.

“She’s probably ready for her dinner,” Jake remarked and headed for the kitchen. “I’ll feed her, and then she’ll be ready for bed while we have our meal.”

Lee trailed after him, cuddling Maxine. “Can I feed her?”

“Sure,” Jake answered, and my huff of jealous annoyance was drowned out by the peal of the telephone.

Patrick strode forward to answer it while Jake gathered the baby’s bottle from the kitchen drainer and began scooping some powder into it. There was a brief conversation on the telephone, until Patrick called, “Jake? It’s Lizzy.”

“Oh. Thanks. Here, Patrick? Can you finish making up this bottle for Lee while I take the call? Sorry, Lee. It’s my sister, and she’s over east, so I’d better see what the problem is.”

I took a seat in the lounge as Jake disappeared with the phone into another part of the house. Patrick finished making up the bottle, and I heard the sounds of Maxine sucking as she began gulping down the nourishment she wanted. I could hear Patrick and Lee chatting about different toys for babies and the latest research into development aids for infants.

I felt… abandoned.

I took another mouthful of beer and wondered about this… oddness I felt. Maybe it was hunger? It had been a while since I ate last.

But it persisted as I watched Jake and Patrick put the finishing touches on our dinner and bring it to the table. Lee contentedly stood and rocked the baby until her sleepy eyes closed. He wasn’t talking to avoid waking her up. Eventually Jake led the way to the nursery, and together they presumably put Maxine to bed. I didn’t know for sure.
I
wasn’t invited. I took my chair at the table when Patrick indicated, and stewed about things. Things like why wasn’t I invited to put the baby to bed?

Jake had made a Thai green curry for our dinner, and we all sat down to eat. It looked delicious, and there was plenty of food and drink for us to be merry over. Lee asked Patrick about his work, and we enjoyed a nice meal together. Patrick spoke at length, describing what he did at the perfumery and touching on his academic work, which I found extremely interesting. Lee was also fascinated, asking question after question, and marveling over the existence of such a profession.

He then spoke to Jake at length about Jake’s somewhat dysfunctional family.

“Mum’s away at the moment,” Jake confessed. “Patrick’s paid for her to go on an eco-retreat. It’s in the middle of the forest, so there’s no opportunity for her to purchase alcohol, which is important. There’s group therapy, and she tells me she goes daily. They pamper you with spas and massages, which is what she needs after the birth—”

He broke off suddenly as he realized that Lee might not know the history. His face went blank, and he looked at me with a question in his eyes.

“I didn’t say anything,” I assured him. “But Lee’s not going to go blabbing to all.”

Jake nodded and turned back to Lee. “It’s not really a secret,” he said. “It’s just something we don’t really want discussed outside our family and friends.” He stopped and took a deep breath. “You see, biologically Maxine’s my sister. My mother’s forty-four, a single parent, an alcoholic, and she’s not in the position to take on another child to raise. She was putting the baby up for adoption, so it was as if it was fate that Patrick and I could step in. We’re attempting to adopt her legally, although it hasn’t been tried before in the courts for a gay couple to adopt a child who is biologically related to one of them.”

Lee’s mouth dropped in shock. “Really? That’s brilliant. What are your chances of succeeding?”

Jake hesitated, and Patrick took over. “It’s not that there’s a problem with the law. It’s purely it’s never been done before. So there’s no precedent. The lawyers and judge will want to have it argued out. Western Australian law favors adoption outside the immediate family, which I personally think is a stupid thing. But luckily I have enough money to hire the lawyers. My father also had a lot of politically powerful friends, whom I hope to utilize, should things go downhill. At the moment, we’re still filling in the paperwork and making sure all our bases are covered.”

I really felt for them. It wasn’t easy adopting a child, and it certainly wasn’t easy to fight the legal system to adopt a particular child. This child was special to them both.

Lee nodded. “If you need extra help, let me know. My father has a lot of powerful friends too. My parents have always been supportive of me being gay. They’ve donated a lot of money and put a lot of their support behind several LGBT groups. I volunteer at a not-for-profit group that helps LGBT youth, which my dad’s company is a major sponsor of. My mother is friends with a lot of politicians, so we could perhaps get something through that if you need?”

I felt ever so proud that Lee was willing to put himself out on a limb like that. Then he smiled a cheeky smile.

“And if none of that works, then we can pull out the big guns.”

Jake frowned. “The big guns?”

“Hollywood,” Lee confirmed, and I chuckled.

“The whole of Hollywood, or only some?” I asked.

Jake and Patrick were confused. “What?” Jake asked.

Lee turned to me with a small smile. “You didn’t tell them?”

I held up my hands in denial. “I’m obviously a big secret keeper. That, or else it didn’t impress me that much that your sister is Honey Brennan.”

Jake spat his beer across the table in shock. “Honey Brennan’s your sister?”

And they were off. Jake fired question after question at Lee about famous people, where his sister lived, and what she was up to. Patrick didn’t know who April Sedgewick was, but was extremely interested in accents and how much training Honey had to have to lose her Australian drawl for the American audience. I sat in silence and watched.

Over dessert, the conversation turned to a who’s who of the Perth scene, with Patrick and Lee discovering a few acquaintances in common.

We moved to the lounge room after dinner, and I excused myself to use the toilet. On the way back, I peeped into Maxine’s room and spotted her fast asleep in her cot. The bear-shaped light in the corner gave her room a soft yellow glow.

I crept on silent feet into the middle of the room, watching her and thinking how lucky she was going to be growing up in a household with Patrick and Jake for parents. Jake was a real nurturer, always making sure others were safe and secure, even at the cost of his own well-being. I could imagine Jake at the school, talking to the teachers, participating in all the school committees, helping out at the cake stall, and being there every day after class for Maxine to come home to. He would be the one to teach her how to ride a bike, to yell at her for not cleaning up her room, and to dispense kisses and hugs when she fell over.