You Are Mine (30 page)

Zade moves away from me, leaving me
cold even though the day's warm. “Good job. You're getting
better.”

We practice for a while, though he
doesn't put his arms around me again. I wish he would, but it's
easier to concentrate without them. I've managed to hit the stack a
few times when he says we're done for the day.

He hands me a box of bullets. “Keep
these somewhere safe.”

I nod.

“
You can come out and
practice whenever you want. At least once a day. I'll help you when
I can. Waverly can give you some tips, too. She's great with a
gun.”

Of course she is. “I'll keep that in
mind.”

“
I'm going to stay out and
practice. See you at dinner.”

“
Until then.”

I head back for the house, the gun and
box of bullets clunky in my hands. Before I turn the corner, I
glance back at him. He casts a spell that looks like a bird and
shoots at it. The bird wavers and falls apart. He must have hit it.
Why does he bother shooting when he can just cast a
spell?

I'm not sure, but I can still feel his
arms around me. Comforting. Guiding. The metallic smell of my hands
stays with me all day, reminding me of him and the threats
lingering over him.

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

T
he next week, I'm sitting in the garden reading Julia's
journal. It's much easier than shooting like I've been practicing.
It's fascinating to learn about her life. She's unlike any woman
I've ever known before. The pain she writes about is as real as
I've felt or seen my sisters and mother go through. But instead of
her husband being the cause, she speaks of how he helps her through
the pain. Then she moves on with her life. She sounds more like a
man.

The bench creaks beside me. Zade. My
heart quivers. I've been caught. I close the book as quietly as I
can, hoping he doesn't notice it's not the Woman's Canon. I give
him a small smile. What will happen if he catches me?

“
Good book?” He
asks.

I cling to it. “Fine.”

“
Did you find it in the
library?”

The unfamiliar word breaks through a
part of my fear. “What's a library?”

“
The room with all the
books.” His eyebrows bounce a couple times, lips tugging upward.
“The room I found you hiding in shortly after coming
here.”

My hand flies to my mouth. “You saw
me?”

He chuckles. “Yes, but you didn't look
like you wanted me to, so I didn't say anything.”

I reach my other hand to cover my
whole face. “I can't believe you saw me. I thought I got away with
it.”

“
Got away with
what?”

Being from another country, he might
not know the rules, so maybe I shouldn't tell him. Except he did
say he knew the laws well enough to keep from getting in trouble.
Trouble that would lead to his death. He has to already know about
it. Besides, maybe this is a good way to figure out how he'll react
if he figures out what I have. “Being caught with a book besides
the Woman's Canon.”

“
Woman's Canon should be
burned.”

I take my hands off my face. His eyes
are wide, face pale. He looks...Is he worried about having said
that out loud? Does he really feel that way?

He scans the garden. No one is around,
yet he casts the salmon-colored spell around us, keeping our words
safe. “Please keep it a secret. I shouldn't have even told you. But
since it slipped out, I'm hoping I can trust you with
it.”

It's been long enough that I feel like
I know him. Know when he's telling the truth and when he's keeping
things to himself. This feels like truth. If the council found out,
the threats on his life would quickly multiply. Why would he want
to burn the book that tells women how to act? I know why I do, but
why would he?

“
I suppose I could keep it
secret.”

“
Thank you.” He points at
the book in my hand. “Is that one I'll need to burn or something
else?”

With what he revealed, maybe I can
reveal a bit of truth, as well. “It's different. It's writings by
the woman who used to live here.”

“
Julia.”

“
How did you know her
name?”

“
I made it a point to
know.”

None of this seems upset him. In fact,
he seems interested. Could he really be fine with me reading? I
say, “Then perhaps you will know if her journal entries are based
on fact or fanciful ideas.”

“
Since I haven't read it
myself, I don't really know. From what I've gathered, she wasn't
the fanciful sort. I could read it through if you'd like and give
you my opinion.”

Though I've already read the whole
thing, and am just picking out bits and pieces, I'm not sure I want
to give it away. I grip the book tighter. “May I have it back when
you're finished?”

“
Of course.”

I bite my lower lip and hand him the
book.

He takes it and runs his fingers over
the cover. “It means something to you?”

Something, but what I'm not sure. Not
more than the novel I pilfered from the library, but different. I
want Zade to be kind and caring like Jacob, but without us dying.
Maybe Zade is? “I'm not sure as of yet.”

“
Maybe we can talk about
it after I've had a chance to look through it.” As
h
e settles further onto the bench, I
contemplate what that may mean for me. For him. For us.
Us.

His next words startle me out of my
daydream. “I was wondering if you'd like to deliver
invitations.”

“
I suppose.”

“
I can take them if you
wish, or we could have them delivered. I just thought you'd want
to.”

“
I do.” I smooth a wrinkle
from my skirt. “It's just that I've never done anything like this
before. Mother always said I was too much trouble to
go.”

He rests a hand on mine, stilling my
nervous action. “You're good with people, I'm sure you'll do
fine.”

He's warm through my glove.
Sustaining. “How much time do you think we need to get them
delivered?”

“
It depends on how many we
decide to hand deliver. We should at least visit all the council
members, a few other prominent warlock households. After that, how
about we see if you feel like doing more?”

It depends on how I feel? “That would
be fine.” More than fine. “We should get them out in the next two
weeks though. Bethany will get after my manners if we
don't.”

He chuckles. “I've a council meeting
the day after tomorrow, but none next week.”

The garden is silent. With the spell
and us not talking, it's an eerie sort of sound. It gets me
thinking about the tarnished park. Zade said I could ask anything.
Finally, I work up the courage to say, “The other day at the park,
Councilman Barkley said something.”

He rubs his forehead. “He said a lot
of things.”

“
The tarnished law he
spoke of.” When he stays silent, I go farther. “What did he mean by
that?”

His face darkens. “Some of the
unmarried women have started rebelling.”

“
Women like my sisters?”
What do they have to do with the tarnished? And why are they
rebelling? How are they rebelling?

“
Not them. Those you call
tarnished. The women are seen as the problem, but I believe the men
are rebelling just as much.”

“
What are they
doing?”

He faces me. “Some have been escaping
to Envado and other countries. Enough have left that it's caused a
strain on the working force. The council and upper class don't like
losing their workers.”

“
But there are so many of
them. Plus, they're always threatening to make more. And the lower
class owes debts that they repay with work. Isn't it enough? Is it
really a problem if people want to leave?”

He shrugs. “If it was just that, I
don't know, maybe the council would leave them alone. I doubt it,
but maybe. What's seen as the real problem is that some of them
have started harassing council members and a few powerful
warlocks.”

The death threats jump to mind. “Are
you in any danger?”

“
I'm safe
enough.”

It doesn't sound like he really is.
The weight of the gun on my leg is comforting, though I'd be able
to do little good with it should the need arise. I want him safe.
“But what of the problem we had and the others you've
mentioned?”

“
Not related.”

How can he know? At least this isn't a
threat, as well. “And what of the new law? What are they
proposing?”

“
They are trying to
implement more restrictions, and make current laws more severely
punished.”

Katherine flashes through my mind. How
will this affect her? “What type restrictions?”

“
You're very inquisitive
today.”

I blush. “Sorry. I didn't mean it.”
Except I did, and I want to know. I just don't want to push the one
person who's giving me answers too far.

“
Don't be sorry, it's a
refreshing change.”

He wants me to ask? I lick my lips and
say, “Would you tell me more about the restrictions
then?”

“
Of course.” He clasps his
fists together and I lean forward to better catch the details. “All
those considered unfit will have their ink spelled to change colors
on a monthly basis. They'll have to check in monthly which will
include being tracked all the time.”

“
How would they be
tracked?”

“
A certain spell can be
used to find those who participate. Mostly, they'll use it to
restrict their movements. If a person with their spelled ink goes
out of an allowed area, severe pain will befall them. If they don't
hurry back, they'll die.

“
Die?” My heart is
cold.

His nose flares. “In some
cases.”

“
Will they be speaking of
this at the next meeting?”

“
They always talk about
it.”

This is too much for me to hold still.
I stand and cross to a table. Its surface is hard beneath the
weight of my hands. They want things worse for Katherine. And what
about Katherine's workers? And the other tarnished?

The council wants to make life harder
for them. One small step out of line and they could die. Gone
forever. Not even something less than a shadow deserves this. And
Katherine is worth more than a shadow. She's worth more than any
warlock.

Whirling around, I face him. “Will you
take me to a meeting with you?”

He jumps to his feet. “You want me to
take you to a meeting?”

Though he's a several feet from me, he
still towers above me. I cower back. “It was just a
thought.”

“
Sorry.” He sits back down
and rubs the back of his neck. “You want to go to a council
meeting?”

“
I,
um
—
is
there a law against it?” I wish I had access to the laws and not
just the Woman's Canon.

For a moment he's quiet. “There's
usually only the council and servants, but no. I don't think
there's a law against it.”

I step forward. In my mind, I keep the
image of Katherine taking one step outside of safety and dying.
Nothing that bad will happen to me just from asking. But so much
could happen to her. I can be strong enough.

“
Maybe you could take me.
Make it a show of dominance for the council.”

“
No.”

The sharp reply silences me. If I
persist, he may break his promise and a fist or hex will fly my
way. Except, this is Zade. Not my Father or another warlock. He's
only ever encouraged me. I have to believe he's different and if
he's not, I want to know it now.

“
Why not?”

He looks me straight in the eye. “I
don't want you there.”

The reply stings. “Because women are
supposed to be silent child bearers.”

His head lowers to his hands. “That's
not it. There are things you don't understand.”

“
Right.” He still thinks
of me as just a woman, even if he doesn't punish me like he should.
I'm sick of being just a woman.

He shakes his head before raising it.
“Not like that. Just–just let me think about it, all
right?”

The answer is so stunning, it takes me
a moment to reply. “Yes, of course.” I back away from him. If he
wants to think, I'll give him space to do so. “I'll leave you to
it.”

Before I can depart, he
says, “Don't forget, you're delivering invites with me.”

“
I won't.”

I hasten from the salmon spell,
feeling nothing as I step though it. Zade sits within its confines,
lost in thought. I want to do this. For Katherine. For the other
tarnished. If I can't free myself from a warlock's control, I can
at least try to help others. But even that depends on what my owner
allows.