You are a Badass (4 page)
The Force is with you.
This isn’t just about believing and being all high-vibe when the sun is out and the bunnies are hopping around, either. This is about believing, even when things are at their most uncertain or absolute crappiest, that there is a bright shiny flipside within your reach.
As French author and fearless truth-seeker, André Gide, so aptly put it, “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” This is about believing that we live in a loving, kind and abundant Universe instead of one that’s petty, mean, and likes other people more than it likes you.
This is about your faith being greater than your fear.
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
—Lao Tzu; ancient Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism, could have been one guy or a mythical compilation of many, nobody really knows for sure
I was in yoga class one day and the instructor told us all to get into Pigeon Pose, which is this pose where you stretch one leg out behind you, fold the other one out sideways in front of you and then bend forward and lie down on top of the whole thing. It’s fine if you’re a pigeon, but it’s one of the poses I dread most because my hips don’t move that way, it hurts and I’m always scared I’m gonna get stuck.
But even though my body has requested otherwise, I’m in class and going for it, and am determined to “relax into it” even though I’m really just silently begging the dude to tell us to change into a different pose, which he doesn’t do because he’s too busy talking. He’s blabbing on and on and on about our connection to The Universe and our breath and the path to true enlightenment and
holy fucking shit dude will you hurry up I think I’m going to rip something I really do oh my God I think I’m actually stuck how am I going to get out of this pose he’s gonna have to come over here and lift me out of it because I really truly am stuck
and then whoosh . . .
I breathe into it. I shut off the relentless yammering in my brain, get quiet, and surrender. I feel my body shift and go deeper into the pose than it’s ever gone before. The pain is gone. The panic is gone. I am one with The Universe. But then I realize that I really do think I’m stuck and
seriously what the hell dude are you going to talk all night we’ve been in this freakin’ pose for five minutes for real and by the way my knee just got all hot and you really are not going to shut up even though I keep thinking you finally are but then you keep going
and then, whoosh . . .
I reconnect. I’m back in The Zone. I melt deeply into this pose and feel such bliss and true connection to something much larger than myself.
This flip-flopping between freaking out in our heads and “breathing into the Now” is basically how most of us go through life. Instead of worrying about the possibility of dislocating a hip (the future) or about how bad I was at this pose (the past), I could have luxuriated in the magnificence available to me in the moment.
It never ceases to amaze me the precious time we spend chasing the squirrels around our brains, playing out our dramas, worrying about unwanted facial hair, seeking adoration, justifying our actions, complaining about slow Internet connections, dissecting the lives of idiots, when we are sitting in the middle of a full-blown miracle that is happening right here, right now.
We’re on a planet that somehow knows how to rotate on its axis and follow a defined path while it hurtles through space! Our hearts beat! We can see! We have love, laughter, language, living rooms, computers, compassion, cars, fire, fingernails, flowers, music, medicine, mountains, muffins! We live in a limitless Universe overflowing with miracles! The fact that we aren’t stumbling around in an inconsolable state of sobbing awe is appalling. The Universe must be like,
what more do I have to do to wake these bitches up? Make water, their most precious resource, rain down from the sky?
The Universe loves us so much, and wants us to partake in the miraculous so badly, that sometimes she delivers little wake-up calls. Like in the movies when someone narrowly escapes death and is so overjoyed and grateful that they take to the streets, skipping and laughing and madly hugging everyone in sight. Suddenly all their “problems” fall away and the miracle of being alive, today, in this moment takes over the screen. I know someone who got sucked through a dam and almost died who now speaks about it as one of his most profound and life-changing experiences. Not that I’d wish that on anyone, but take heart in the fact that should you require some sort of catastrophe for your transformation, it can be cosmically arranged.
The Universe has also surrounded us with the perfect teachers. Animals, for example. Animals are in the present all the time, and their secret power is to pull us in with them. My friend’s dog is so happy to see her every single time she walks in the door it’s like she’s about to free him from forty years of imprisonment. Even if she’s only been gone for an hour. You’re here. I’m here. I love you. I’m gonna pee all over the floor about it.
Little kids are also excellent guides. Kids get so wrapped up in the joy of drawing or pretending or discovering that they’d rarely eat or bathe or sleep if we didn’t make them. They are constantly creating in a state of free-flowing, concentrated bliss, they haven’t yet learned to
worry about what other people think of them or that perhaps they’re not as talented at finger painting as Lucy next door is. They are in the moment. There is fun in the moment. End of story.
We would be wise to take more of our cues from the beasts and babies.
All the stuff we’re so worried about creating and fixated on becoming is already right here, right now. The money you want already exists; the person you want to meet is already alive; the experience you want to have is available, now; the idea for that brilliant song you want to write is here, now, waiting for you to download the information. The knowledge and insight and joy and connection and love are all wagging their hands in your face, trying to get your attention. The life you want is right here, right now.
What the hell am I talking about? If it’s all here, where is it?
Think of it like electricity. Before the invention of the light bulb, most people weren’t aware of electricity’s existence. It was still here, exactly the same way it is right now, but we hadn’t yet woken up to it. It took the invention of the light bulb to bring it to our attention. We had to understand how to manifest it into our reality.
It’s not that the things and opportunities that we want in life don’t exist yet.
It’s that we’re not yet aware of their existence (or the fact that we can really have them).
The more practiced you become at being present and connected to Source Energy, the more available you are to download ideas and seize opportunities that you might miss out on if you’re all wrapped up in the endless chatter in your head.
There’s a great Hindu story about a lady who wanted to meet the god Krishna. So she went into the forest, closed her eyes, and prayed and meditated on making the god appear and lo and behold, Krishna came wandering down the forest path toward her. But when Krishna tapped the lady on the shoulder, she, without opening her eyes, told him to get lost because she was busy meditating on a very important goal.
When we get so wrapped up in our heads, we miss out on what’s available to us right now in the moment. Stop and notice how you feel right now. Feel your breath moving in and out of your body. Feel the air on your skin. Feel your heart beating. Your eyes seeing. Your ears hearing. Notice the energy inside and outside of you buzzing. Shut off your thoughts and feel your connection to Source. B-r-e-a-t-h-e. Even if you’ve got bone-chilling credit card debts or you haven’t spoken to your mother in six years, right now, in this moment, you can find peace and joy in that which simply is.
As adults with responsibilities like bodies to care for and mortgages to pay, there’s some value in taking a side trip away from the present moment every once in a while; sometimes we need to think about and plan for the future, as well as study the past in order to learn from it or laugh about it or to bury it out back and let it go forever. And if we just stopped by for the occasional visits to the future and past, that would be one thing, but the amount of time we spend chewing on junk-food thoughts about what-ifs and how-comes—Lawd help us!
The more time you spend in the moment, the richer your life will be. Being present gets you out of your head and connects you to Source Energy, which raises your frequency, which attracts things of
like frequency to you. And all of those high-frequency things and experiences are already here, just waiting for you to join the party, all you have to do is shut up, show up, and usher them in.
Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
—Kurt Cobain; you know who this one is, right?
When I first started getting into self-helpery, there was lots of talk about something called the “Ego” that confused the hell out of me. I always thought that Ego was about being conceited and braggy and all, “I’m gonna talk on and on and on about how great I am and then I’m gonna show you my muscles.” Meanwhile, even though arrogance and conceit (which are different from self-love and confidence, BTW) are part of the Ego, they’re not, as I later learned, the whole dealio.
In the self-help/spiritual community, “Ego” is used to refer to the
shadow self, or the false self, or the self that’s acting like a weenie. It’s the part of us that’s driving the bus when we do things like sabotage our happiness by cheating on our husbands or wives because deep down we don’t feel worthy of being loved, or that refuses to follow our hearts and pursue an acting career because we’re terrified to be seen for who we really are or that goes on and on and on and on about how great we are and shows off our muscles because we’re insecure and need lots of outside validation that we’re good enough.
In other words, there’s more than one way to go on an ego trip.
From here on out, I’m going to refer to the Ego as the Big Snooze. Or BS for short. I think it’ll be less confusing. Plus I think it’s more appropriate, since the leading cause of sucking (staying broke, dating morons, uncontrollably crying in public because we hate our lives) is that we haven’t yet woken up to how truly powerful we are or to how massively abundant our Universe is.
Alrighty, so, moving forward.
The Big Snooze operates according to your limiting false beliefs. This is the garbage that was stuffed into your subconscious as a kid that doesn’t ring true for you, as well as the decisions you’ve made about yourself that are less-than flattering or empowering. It gets validation from outside sources (I’m doing this to win your love, your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of me), it’s reactive (My circumstances control my life, I am a victim), fear-based, and extremely committed to keeping you safely confined within the reality you’ve created based on these limiting false beliefs (otherwise known as your comfort zone). The Big Snooze lives in the past and in the future and believes you are separate from everything around you.
Your true self or your higher self or your superhero self (your non-BS self), on the other hand, is the part of you that operates according to your connection to Source Energy. It gets validation from within (I love and trust myself, this feels right to me, I have a purpose, I am
loved), it’s proactive (I’m in control of my life, I think I’ll head on out and kick me some ass), love-based, and is committed to creating a reality based on your limitless potential—as soon as you wake up from the Big Snooze. Your true self lives in the present (not stuck in your head), totally believes in miracles and is one with the Universe.
We all experience life in varying degrees from both perspectives, and while I seriously doubt there’s anyone who’s totally Snooze-free, most people are so wrapped up in the BS that they’re settling for realities that are waaaaaaaay beneath what’s available to them.
Very few people are even aware of what’s available, however, because we live in a fear-based society that loves to get all uppity toward people who wake up from the Big Snooze, blast out of their comfort zones, and follow their hearts into the great unknown. Oftentimes, taking great leaps of faith is labeled as irresponsible or selfish or insane (until you succeed of course, then you’re brilliant). This is because:
Watching someone else totally go for it can be incredibly upsetting to the person who’s spent a lifetime building a solid case for why they themselves can’t.
I’m obviously generalizing, and there are plenty of people out there cheering us on, but one of the first things you might have to deal with when you decide to wake up from the Big Snooze and make massive positive changes in your life is disapproval from other people who are snoring away. Especially the people closest to you, lame as this may sound.
They may express their discomfort in all sorts of ways: anger, hurt,
bafflement, criticism, snorting every time you talk about your new business or your new friends, constant remarks about how you’re not the way you used to be, brow furrowing, worrying, teasing, blocking you from all social media outlets, etc.
Shirley, are you really going to quit your secure, corporate job to open a nail salon when you’ve got two children, a mortgage, and high blood pressure? So few new businesses succeed, especially in this economy—aren’t you worried about what will happen to your family if you fail?
Of course Shirley is worried about what will happen to her family if she fails! She wakes up every night seized by panic about it, but she’s moving past her fear to create something she’s really psyched about, rather than dying a slow painful death hanging around the watercooler with you, whining about how dry the cake was at the birthday party your boss threw for you in the conference room last week.