Yolo (8 page)

SnowAngel:

what?

zoegirl:

your FB status. I do NOT approve!

SnowAngel:

oh. that. well—as I said—I'm not thrilled about it either.

zoegirl:

so don't do it! if I told you, “Oh, and by the way, this afternoon I'm going to put on my bikini and let frat boys draw all over my body,” what would YOU say?

SnowAngel:

it isn't my choice. I'm a pledge and we have to do whatever our sisters tell us to.

zoegirl:

not that you have any “problem areas” in the first place. but I'm sure some of the girls do, at least in the opinion of the frat boys, and how are they going to feel if some guy draws a circle on their thigh or whatever and writes “TOO FAT”?

SnowAngel:

and I repeat: I don't want to do this either! IT'S NOT MY CHOICE.

zoegirl:

Angela, this is hazing. isn't hazing against the law?

SnowAngel:

I know it sounds messed up. it IS messed up. but my world is different from yours, all right?

zoegirl:

how so?

SnowAngel:

omg. cuz I'm in the most popular sorority at one of the biggest party schools in the South. I kinda signed up for this, Zoe, so cld you maybe be supportive instead of trying to make me feel bad?

zoegirl:

but Angela . . .

SnowAngel:

on the plus side, there might be Jell-O shots.

zoegirl:

and that makes it better how . . . ?

SnowAngel:

it's a bonding activity. that's all it is, and I'm not going to be the whiner baby who gets uptight about it.

SnowAngel:

Zo?

SnowAngel:

you still there?

zoegirl:

I'm here. I just can't think of anything to say.

SnowAngel:

well, thx for that confidence booster. what a pal.

SnowAngel:

how was yr first day of classes?

SnowAngel:

no, screw that. how was rock climbing with Zara and the Esbees?

mad maddie:

the Esbees?

SnowAngel:

the Santa Barbara girls.

mad maddie:

???

SnowAngel:

Santa Barbara.

SnowAngel:

S.B.

SnowAngel:

Esbees!

mad maddie:

ahhh. clever.

SnowAngel:

are they all that tan or did you use a filter on the pics you posted?

mad maddie:

I'm so sore I can't walk. my knees are banged up, I tore off half a fingernail, and I didn't know how to put my harness on or tie any of the special knots. Zara had to help me, and she was nice about it, but toward the end I cld tell she was getting impatient.

SnowAngel:

she's the one who invited you. she's not allowed to feel impatient.

mad maddie:

yeah, cuz that's the way it works.

mad maddie:

she and her buds have all these inside jokes, and most of their convos are about ppl I don't know. and they have these lewd nicknames for each other, like they call Neesa “Teesa” as in “cock teasa.” and they were kind of crazy out there, racing up the cliff and then doing these victory yells from the top. I'm not saying that's BAD. it's just . . . I don't know.

mad maddie:

but who cares, right? I went rock climbing! yay, me!

SnowAngel:

yay, you! you're such a stud!

SnowAngel:

do you think Zo read my most recent FB status? the one that said how the bikini thing turned out to be a total joke?

mad maddie:

did you go to a real frat house?

SnowAngel:

???

mad maddie:

did you wear a real bikini?

SnowAngel:

yes, but there were no Sharpies, no blindfolds, and no body-flaw identification rituals.

SnowAngel:

we had to serve Jell-O shots off our bellies, THAT'S ALL IT TURNED OUT TO BE. and! for the record! tons of boys told me I looked hot in my bikini, and one
guy said I had the best ass in the entire Zeta pledge class!

mad maddie:

um . . . that's a good thing?

SnowAngel:

omg, crashing hard. g'night, sweet Mads, who unlike some ppl doesn't make me feel like a ho!

zoegirl:

see what?

mad maddie:

Zara.

mad maddie:

squatting.

mad maddie:

pulling down her underwear.

mad maddie:

slapping on A PANTYLINER.

mad maddie:

in our room! in front of me! “la la la, don't mind me, just putting on a pantyliner, la-di-da!”

zoegirl:

EW. inappropriate!

mad maddie:

agreed!

mad maddie:

but maybe I'm being a prude? maybe it's like the bra thing, and how some of the girls go around braless, and I don't want to notice, but I do?

zoegirl:

I would not want to see anyone put on a pantyliner.

zoegirl:

I definitely would not want anyone to see ME put on a pantyliner.

mad maddie:

yes, and I'm right there with you. but I feel like I'm judging Zara, and I don't want to be a judging sort of person.

mad maddie:

for what it's worth, she *did* offer me a pantyliner too.

zoegirl:

please tell me you're kidding.

mad maddie:

I'm kidding—altho, ha. that wld have been funny.

zoegirl:

yeah, hilarious. that sounds like something YOU would do.

mad maddie:

except minus the pantyliner part, which means I wldn't.

zoegirl:

Maddie, I think you're judging yourself more harshly than you're judging Zara. and guess what? you are *totally* allowed to not want to see your roomie putting on a pantyliner.

mad maddie:

yeah, yeah, yeah. but aren't I supposed to be the uninhibited one

zoegirl:

what do you mean?

mad maddie:

I don't know. just that that's my job. I'm the wild one, Angela's the boy-crazy one, and you're the good-girl one.

zoegirl:

the good-girl one? I don't want to be the good-girl one!

mad maddie:

yes you do, cuz that's who you are. and I *thought* I was the wild one, only now Zara's flinging pantyliners around and telling me she's “yeasty” and screaming from the tops of mountains.

zoegirl:

um, that was a lot of info all at once. head is spinning.

mad maddie:

what makes it worse is that she clearly thinks I'm shy and is always apologizing for “freaking me out.”

”zoegirl:

I am very hesitant to ask, but . . . yeasty?

mad maddie:

uh-huh. she shared that with me and the Esbees in the cafeteria line. said her groinal area was itching like a crackhead and asked Neesa if she would scratch it for her.

zoegirl:

ew!

zoegirl:

gross!

zoegirl:

ick!!!

mad maddie:

I know! that was my reaction! and then I started second-guessing myself, cuz if it had been ME who said that? if I said that to you and Angela, wld I have thought it was hysterical

zoegirl:

no thank you

mad maddie:

by Atlanta standards, I'm a badass, but in Atlanta, girls are taught to always be sweet and pretty and blah blah blah.

zoegirl:

meaning it's easier to be a badass in Atlanta?

mad maddie:

meaning—aaarrghhh.

mad maddie:

I. Chose. To come here.

mad maddie:

I chose to on purpose, with the specific goal of getting away from everything safe and familiar. I just need to chill out and give myself time to adjust.

zoegirl:

yes. and if anyone can do it, you can.

zoegirl:

plus you JUST got there. I have complete and utter faith in you, Mads. you're going to love Santa Cruz once you get used to it, I just know it.

mad maddie:

and with Zara . . . she is nice but, I mean, it's ironic. I moved three thousand miles away in order to get away from high school, and somehow I ended up smack-dab in the middle of a group of high school besties.

zoegirl:

mad maddie:

but I'll get to know them better, Zara and the Esbees. it'll be fine.

mad maddie:

and now let's talk about you. are you still thinking about Doug 24/7 or are you getting out there and making friends?

zoegirl:

um . . . well . . .

mad maddie:

Zoe. that is not a good answer.

mad maddie:

what about the peeps in yr creative writing class? you like them, don't you?

zoegirl:

uh-huh

mad maddie:

so go up to one of them, stick out your hand, and say, “hello, my name is Zoe. wld you care to have a cup of coffee with me, new friend?”

zoegirl:

yeah, that'll happen

mad maddie:

it will if you want it to.

mad maddie:

let's make a deal: you find a way to hang out with the peeps from yr creative writing class, only OUTSIDE OF CLASS, and I'll keep trying with Zara and Neesa and those girls.

mad maddie:

*fist thrust* yolo, baby! yeah!

zoegirl:

I'm rolling my eyes at you . . . but I know you're right.

mad maddie:

so it's a deal

zoegirl:

it's a deal.

zoegirl:

at least neither of us has a Lucy to deal with, who has moved on from stealing Angela's Q-tips to, ahem, stealing the raisins out of her Raisin Bran.

mad maddie:

and u say “ahem” because . . .

zoegirl:

because who steals raisins out of Raisin Bran?!!! it is beyond nutso!

mad maddie:

unless . . . maybe that's Lucy's way of getting closer to Angela? sniffing her Q-tips and savoring her raisins

zoegirl:

sniffing?

mad maddie:

maybe that's what *you* shld do! Revised plan: go up to new friend, stick out hand, and say, “hello, my name is Zoe, and I am here to sniff your Q-tips.” and follow up with “All Your Base Are Belong To Us!”

zoegirl:

????????????????

zoegirl:

random random you are so random!!!!

mad maddie:

Google it. that's my good girl.

mad maddie:

I'll expect a full report by the end of the weekend!