Yesterday's Tomorrows (30 page)

A
‘woof
’ and the scamper of claws on the hardwood floors alerted me that Maddy was home. The one-year-old Black lab pup, Delilah, was the first to reach the door. Buddy followed at a more dignified pace. I heard Maddy greet each dog. Before she could get any further in the foyer, the joyful cry of ‘Mommy’ echoed in the entranceway.

“How’s my big boy?” she exclaimed. I didn’t need to see her to know she had swept our almost three-year-old son Matthew up in her arms in a huge hug. “Where’s Daddy?” she asked.

“He in da wiving woom,” he answered. “He made a big mess.”

Maddy laughed. “Oh, he did, huh? Well, let’s go find him.”

I heard her heels click as they headed toward us. My heart still raced every time she entered a room. I stood from the table where I had papers and books spread everywhere, the mess Matthew had referred to.

“Hi, baby,” she greeted. “How’s the research going?”

“It’s going,” I answered, pulling her in for a kiss, making Matthew grin.

“Me, too, Daddy,” he demanded, pointing to his cheek. I took him from his mom and delivered the requested kiss with a big smack before setting him down.

Maddy sank down on the cushy couch with a groan. I sat at the other end and lifted her feet onto my lap. I plucked her shoes off and rubbed the balls of her feet.

“Mmm,” she groaned. “Oh, that feels so good,” she praised as she closed her eyes and rubbed her swollen belly.

I smiled as she caressed our growing baby, due in about three months. We didn’t know if it was a boy or girl; Maddy didn’t want to find out, saying there weren’t enough special surprises in life, and she didn’t want to spoil this one.

“How did it go today?” I asked, moving my hands up to rub her calves.

“Long, but good,” she sighed. “Productive. I think we got a couple more companies on board, and several were interested in making contributions to New Tomorrows. I’m really excited about it.”

I crawled up the couch until my arms were braced on either side of her shoulders. I leaned down and kissed her. “I’m so fucking proud of you, baby! What you’re doing is amazing and life changing.”

She beamed at me. “Thank you.”

After we moved into our new house five years ago, Maddy quit her job at McCloskey, Barnes, and Wilson. I had wanted to argue for her to stay since she really was an excellent assistant to me. But when she outlined what she wanted to do instead, I was one hundred percent behind her. She wanted to go to college and earn a degree in business administration with a minor in counseling, with the long-term goal of establishing a program to assist newly released prison inmates to give them the same kind of opportunity she had.

“Not everyone is blessed to have people like you and the McCloskeys to believe in them and give them a new beginning. I want to be that for someone, Holt. I know how hard it is, but also how possible it is to change your life with the right support.”

And my girl had done exactly that. Two years ago, she used her new skills to set up New Tomorrows. She worked closely with Mary, learning from her how to make inroads into the local business community. She applied for grants and worked closely with the local prisons and law enforcement to find candidates they believed would truly benefit from her program. She and Mary created a tutoring program to help those who needed academic help as well as office and computer skills; Sara worked with her in providing low cost professional clothing; and John McCloskey and I offered free legal advice when needed once they were released and officially part of the program. I helped Maddy with all legal aspects of the company itself, and I loved that we were partners in more than just our marriage.

Maddy had set up a rigorous application process; her program wasn’t meant to be a handout, but a hand up. Applicants had to be willing to work hard and were subject to random drug tests. So far, out of sixty-four candidates, only three had been kicked out of the program, and after a local news interview, word spread about the success of her program.

She was constantly meeting with local businesses to establish a work release programs, but others across the state were starting to reach out and making contact with her, interested in her program due to its high success rate. She’d actually had to hire some help to keep up with the traveling since she thought it was more important she was home every evening with her family. She was able to conduct most of the business from the office space we’d created for her in our house so she could stay at home with Lily and Matthew whenever possible. My mom pitched in and babysat whenever Maddy needed to be present somewhere else, like candidate interviews or when she was asked to speak at business forums, like today.

Now, with a second baby coming, she decided she needed to begin training a new assistant. Nothing would ever be more important to Maddy than family, so when New Tomorrows began to take up more time, she knew she was going to have to turn over some of the responsibilities.

Maddy now officially had no criminal record. John McCloskey filed an appeal based on a Virginia code section for a writ of innocence based on new evidence since Charly’s letter was allowed as testimony. Maddy’s conviction was overturned and struck from her record. It didn’t give her back the six years of her life, but typical of her, she focused on the positive and moved on.

The front door opened and slammed. “Auntie, what’s for dinner? I’m starving!” Lily came sliding into the room dressed in her riding clothes.

“Shower first,” Maddy reminded her, sitting up with my help. “Then you can help me in the kitchen. How were lessons today? Did you remember to thank Mrs. Carson for the ride?”

“Great, and yes, I did. They got a new mare and she’s absolutely beautiful! I got to ride her today and practice jumping.” Lily still loved horses. She and her best friend Lauren took riding lessons together after school twice a week.

There had been a few growing pains when we became a family after Maddy officially gained custody of Lily. We carefully established new routines and ground rules, but Lily was a sweet girl and rarely challenged us. Although we retained the title of ‘aunt and uncle,’ I didn’t think of her as any less than I would if I were her father. Matthew even called her ‘Sissy.’ Someday, when she was older, we’d tell her more of her mother’s background, but we always kept any conversations about Charly positive. My family had no problems embracing her as part of their own, and we’d been sure to keep the Barnes involved in her life, since to her, they were like grandparents and an aunt. Lily had thrived with all the extra attention, despite missing her mother.

“Mooommmy,” a little high pitched voice called from upstairs. “I neeeed you! I’s on the potty!”

At the same time, the phone rang and the puppy whined to go out.

“Duty calls,” I smiled and kissed my wife and helped to pull her up off the couch. “I’ll get the pup and the boy. Let the answering machine get the phone.”

She threw her head back and laughed and hugged me tight. “Always something, isn’t there, Mr. Andrews?”

“Beautiful chaos, Mrs. Andrews,” I answered, rubbing her nose with mine. “It’s perfect, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I kissed her sweetly, kissed her belly, and went to take care of my promises while she went into the kitchen to get dinner started.

And I meant it. I adored and loved my family. They were my life, crazy schedules and all.

Years ago, I had a structured life with routines and lines that I thought were what I needed to get through each day after my happiness was ripped away. It took an unwanted errand and a broken girl to blur everything and bring it into a whole new focus, and now our future was full of promise and new tomorrows. And I couldn’t wait for all the new chapters we’d write together.

S
omber charcoal gray
eyes stared straight ahead before slowly shifting upward toward the changing skies. Anything was better than looking at the two cherry-wood caskets resting side by side. White cumulus clouds tinged with pink were being overtaken by more ominous slate colored ones. A chill wind whipped around bringing with it the sharp, fresh aroma of ozone. Chirping birds fell silent on their branches, their songs replaced by faint rumbles of thunder. If it wasn't for the tragic circumstances, he might have laughed at the cliché the weather provided.

Finally lowering their gaze, those same eyes took note of the surrounding people. Women sniffled quietly and dabbed at their eyes while the men shuffled their feet and stared soberly at the ground. Above the meditations of the priest, one sound suddenly pierced the air, making the poor man jump in his vestments. A woman wailed in grief, then rather melodramatically swayed on her feet necessitating the man next to her to catch hold of her waist. The owner of the eyes grimaced. He glanced sideways at the silver-haired woman dressed in an expensive black suit and his hands clenched into fists. While his heart should have constricted in sympathy, instead it nearly exploded in anger.

Bitch. You didn't care enough about him while he was alive. Why are you even here?

He deliberately brought his attention back to the caskets and his heart skipped a beat as the ugly reality of the event sunk in. His twin sister and his best friend were about to be lowered into the cold, unforgiving ground. All their hopes and dreams of building a long loving life together and for their children, current and dreamed of, were being buried with them. From the moment he'd heard they were dead, his heart had been filled with anguish. Memories of all the times they had spent together since childhood as well as the future plans they would never get to enjoy ricocheted in his head. The past few days he'd been kept busy helping his parents make all of the arrangements as well as greeting the constant flow of people stopping by his home to offer their condolences and drop off food. Now finally, in this quiet moment broken only by the priest's intonations, an overwhelming sense of grief consumed him.

He blinked rapidly to hold back the tears that fought for their release. His throat constricted as he glanced at his parents who clutched each other’s hands, barely holding themselves together. But unlike the drama queen to his side, they didn’t want to create a spectacle that might take away from this final moment with their loved ones.

It doesn't get worse than this. At least this will be over soon and maybe somehow we’ll find a way to carry on.

His reflections were interrupted by a quiet sob, and his gaze lowered to the small milk chocolate brown eyes looking up at him through great puddles of tears.

Wrong. This was worse than the scene in front of him.
His stomach clenched as he absorbed the enormity of this unplanned future.

A small hand slipped into his warm large one. Big and little, they gripped each other tightly. "Uncle Alex, I miss them. I want my mommy and daddy back!" his five year old voice trembled.

Sucking in a deep breath to gain control of his emotions, he knelt down and drew his young nephew into his arms. "I know you do, Aiden. I know. I’d do anything to bring them back for you, but I can’t. But I'm here for you, and I promise I'll take care of you." Oblivious to the dampness that seeped into the knees of his pants, Alex continued to kneel on the ground and held the little boy for the rest of the service.

The priest finished and the committal drew to a close. Shielding the young boy from well-meaning guests, Alex stood up and gently negotiated Aiden to the limousine where they were met by Alex’s parents. He never let go of the hand of the little boy for whom he now bore full responsibility. Swallowing hard, Alex again glanced heavenward and breathed a prayer.

This day was never supposed to happen. I don't know how to do this! Give me strength to be what and who I need to be for Aiden. Please, please help me. Send me some sort of sign to help me know what to do, where to go, and to help me stay the course.

"Any big plans for the weekend, Kayla?"

At the friendly voice, I looked up from sorting pencils and crayons at a small table and saw Ally, a fellow Kindergarten teacher and good friend who had stopped in my classroom at the end of the day. "Just the usual!" I smiled.

"So...basically nothing?" Ally smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought I'd spice things up and maybe go to the antique market."

"Keep living like that and you might become an antique yourself before your time, Kayla!” she joked. She walked over to the table and somehow managed to gracefully lower her tall model-like figure into a pint-sized chair. “You need to live a little. Get out and meet more people. There’s even this whole species you could explore called men!”

I shook my head at her teasing. It was easy for someone with her looks and confidence to joke about meeting men. She didn’t even have to do anything. Men flocked to her like ants to sugar. I was the type of girl who everyone liked and was everyone’s friend, but apparently I lacked the ‘sugariness’ that attracted men beyond friendship. That was fine. Those who tried were usually just disappointed and never failed to let me know it. After this summer, I was happy staying in my own quiet world where no one could hurt me.

Ally looked at me sympathetically and clacked her French manicured nails on the table. “Carrie and I are headed out to Back Draft tomorrow night. Why don't you and Jen join us?” she offered. “I hear there will be a band who's supposed to be really good. Just come out with the girls and enjoy the music over a couple drinks. It's got to beat sitting at home moldering away!"

I sighed and tossed a couple crayons into their bin. It wasn't the first time I'd heard similar words. I'd also heard this same mantra from my best friend, who was also my roommate, Jen. I knew they meant well. I even knew they were right, but it just wasn't as easy as they made it sound. The girl I was a few months ago would have eagerly accepted the invitation. But today’s Kayla preferred to stay at home, playing it safe. Events over the past summer left me clinging once again to the safety net of relative isolation. I longed to take control over my life and determine for myself how the past was going to reshape me, but the past never let me escape. It continued to rear its ugly head until I began to believe maybe it really is my present and my future as well.