Yellowstone Romance Series - Bundle (# 2-5) (82 page)

“You have no interest in me. My skin and hair are the wrong color for you,” she whispered.

“You seem to know an awful lot about me,” he countered. “Perhaps I’ve changed my mind.”

“Josh,” she barely managed to say. His name escaped her lips on a shallow intake of breath. What was written in his eyes? The fierceness had left his features, to be replaced by a softness she’d seen when he held Dawn in his arms.

“Do you deny that you have feelings for me?” he asked. “You spoke words of love earlier when I carried you to my bed. Were those merely the words of an addle-brained woman?” His hands slid up along her shoulders as he spoke, causing delicious chilly sensations racing through her arms. Danica’s mouth opened in shock. She said she loved him in her sleep? Heat crept up her neck.

She couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. Her head dropped to her chest.

“Dani,” Josh put his fingers under her chin, forcing her head upward. “Deny you have feelings for me, and I’ll take you and Dawn to Helena as soon as the passes clear.”

She couldn’t openly say she loved him. Not with him standing right in front of her. Perhaps she had said the words in her sleep, but she couldn’t reproduce them now. “What about you?” she challenged instead.  “I can’t be married to a man who doesn’t love me,” she said solemnly.

Josh touched his lips to hers. “What I feel for you is still a mystery to me,” he said when he pulled back. He released her arms. “For now, I’m offering you a home and a name for your daughter. She won’t be labeled as a bastard.” He ran his hand through his hair, and stepped around her to the window. “I also know that you are a brave and remarkable woman, and you’ve become more beautiful in my eyes with each passing day.”

He faced her again. Danica stared at him, her eyes wide open. “I won’t deny that I desire you.” Their eyes met and held.

Danica swallowed. Josh Osborne had just told her that he thought she was beautiful, and that he wanted her. He was offering her and Dawn his name and protection. It was more than she’d ever hoped for. Could she live with that, be his wife, even if he didn’t love her? Would it be enough?

“I need some time to think about this. When do you need an answer?” she asked quietly.

“By the time Dawn is old enough to travel. One month.” With those words, Josh cast a quick glance at Dawn sleeping peacefully in her new crib, and closed the door behind him on his way out of the room.

Danica sighed. Had she actually just told him she needed time to think about his marriage proposal? Part of her wanted to rush out of the room, tell him she’d dreamed of being his wife for five long years. Her rational side told her she didn’t want Josh tied to her because of some misplaced sense of obligation. She really did need to think about this some more.

Chapter 17

Josh squatted in front of the hearth, and absently poked at the coals in the fireplace with the metal fire poker. He tossed in some small kindling to revive the embers. A soft orange glow erupted from the small twigs and he added larger logs, watching the bright flames lick at the wood. Quickly, the warmth from the fire matched the feelings in his heart. He pushed his hair out of his face.

I can’t be married to a man who doesn’t love me.
She hadn’t said she couldn’t be married to a half-breed. The first was easy enough to remedy.
Admit it, Running Wolf. You’re in love with Dani.
What else could it be? He’d known how he felt about her for several days. The feeling became clear to him when he sat out in that cold barn, carving a cradle for Dani’s as yet unborn child. He hadn’t wanted to give a name to the emotion. From the time they first met, she had burrowed her way into his mind and now, his heart.
Helping her bring her daughter into the world had been an extraordinary experience. The pain she had endured, and the effort it required for her to bring forth a new life left him with a deep respect for this already remarkable woman. 

He hadn’t told her that he loved her.
He couldn’t bring himself to say the words she needed to hear. Not yet. He had to be sure that what she’d uttered in her sleep was real. He chuckled. Her response to his kiss should have been proof enough. Hell, his own reaction to that kiss should have been enough for him to tell her he loved her.

 Josh stood to his feet, the heat from the flames matching the heat in his veins. He hadn’t noticed a reaction of fear or revulsion in her when he told her openly that he wanted her. After what she had endured at another man’s hand, would she be receptive to his touch, in time? He ran his hand along the back of his neck. The sensation of her fingers in his hair lingered. His embrace and kiss certainly hadn’t scared or repulsed her. Josh inhaled deeply. He shouldn’t even think about such things. Among his mother’s people, it was taboo for a man to have any contact with his wife for a month after she’d given birth. He laughed quietly, and shook his head. He planned to honor at least part of that custom. After tasting her kiss, he wasn’t sure he could completely abstain from repeating his actions for an entire month.

Josh rummaged through his supplies, and tossed several large chunks of dried meat and vegetables in the kettle over the fire. He left the cabin with the water bucket, and scooped up some snow outside the door. He dumped some into the kettle with the meat. He was anxious for spring to arrive. Dried meat and root vegetables were becoming quite unappealing. If he were alone, he wouldn’t bother with cooking supper. Some pemmican and dried fruit or nuts was his usual fare when he was alone. His wife - he glanced toward Dani’s bedroom - his wife needed a solid meal. 
She hasn’t consented to stay married to you.

Josh suddenly thought of his cousin. Kyle had known instantly that Kate was the woman he would marry. Josh remembered giving him a hard time about it. Back then, and on some level even now, he couldn’t see himself as a husband and father. Dani was right. He did like living alone, and she wasn’t the type of woman who would have caught his eye in the past. How had she known all that about him? Was he being fair to her, asking her to call a half-breed husband? Animosity and hatred among whites against the Indians had escalated in recent years, especially with the wars being fought against the plains tribes further east.

Josh shook off his feelings of self-doubt. He had never cared about what people thought of him. If Dani stayed with him, it would be her choice. He would not force her decision. Could he let her go if she wanted to part ways? His eyes lingered on the closed door to her room.

While the stew simmered over the fire, Josh pulled on his buffalo robe and headed outside for the woodpile. He needed to stay busy, or else his thoughts might drive him crazy. By the time darkness descended, he finished tending to the horses, and had chopped enough wood to fill the box by the hearth several times over. A delicious smell assaulted his nose when he opened the door to his cabin. Stomping the snow off his shoes, he removed his heavy coat, and scanned the room.

Dani stood at the hearth, stirring the contents of the kettle. The sensation of warm water flowing through his limbs doused him, and settled in his chest, wrapping itself slowly around his heart.  The thought that this was what he wanted to come home to every day hit him like a horse’s kick to the gut. He groaned silently, and controlled the urge to walk up to her and pull her in his arms. She turned, a slow smile on her face when their eyes met.

“Your stew needed a little help,” she said. “And I’ve made a batch of biscuits,” she added, pointing with her wooden spoon at the Dutch oven in the fire. “It’s about time we get some decent food around here.” Her smile widened, and Josh’s chest tightened. He kicked himself mentally for staring at her like some adolescent fool. “In return, I would like some hot water after supper so I can wash my hair.”

Josh forced his legs to move further into the cabin. “Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin. A loud wail at that moment prevented him from giving in to his urge to sweep Dani into his arms. Both their heads turned toward the bedroom.

“I’ll get her,” Josh said, holding up a hand to indicate Dani should stay where she was.

“I’ve been reduced to a milk cow.” Dani groaned loudly.

Josh cocked an eyebrow. “You’re the best looking cow I’ve ever seen,” he said, grinning widely. His eyes deliberately rested on her chest. He ducked when she hurled the spoon she held in her hands at him. Josh felt a slight breeze as the handle barely missed his head. He quickly darted toward the bedroom, Dawn’s loud cries of protest drowning out his laughter. 

“Did you hear that,
pyihaa
? Your mother thinks she’s a cow.” Josh leaned over, and gathered the angry, red-faced infant into his arms. He held her to his chest, supporting her little head with one hand as the baby squirmed and kicked. Her cries lessened somewhat, but Josh knew she wouldn’t be satisfied simply by him holding her. He quickly grabbed a blanket off the bed, and headed back into the main room. Looking for Dani, he stopped in his tracks. She stood by the window, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking.

“Are you all right?” he asked over Dawn’s loud protests. Dani turned toward him, her tear-soaked face startling him.

“You called me a cow,” she sobbed.

Josh stood, stunned and speechless.
He
called
her
a cow? She referred to herself that way. He was only making light of that. Surely she didn’t think he’d been serious.

“Dani, our daughter is hungry,” he said matter-of-factly, holding the baby for Dani to receive. She stared up at him, wide-eyed, and her tears increased. Josh expelled an exasperated breath. What had he said now to cause her upset?

He held the baby in the crook of his arm when Dani made no move to take her. He gently swayed her back and forth in an attempt to calm her. There was nothing he could do to ease the infant’s distress. His other hand reached for Dani’s arm. She pulled away and darted around him. Josh turned to follow. What had gotten into her? Why was she acting so irrationally? She seemed normal not ten minutes ago.

Josh grabbed Dani’s arm from behind and wheeled her around. She stiffened, and he stepped closer. Not knowing what else to do, he leaned forward and gently pressed his mouth to hers. 

“You are not a cow,” he whispered, hoping she could hear him over the baby’s wails.  He released her arm, and wiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. “Now will you please feed Dawn before we all go deaf?”

Dani stared up at him, then nodded slowly. She half-sobbed, half-laughed, and finally reached for the baby.  Dawn whimpered, and began to root at Dani’s chest. Josh led his wife to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. “Sit here,” he said. Quietly, she obeyed. Josh turned away when Dani fumbled with the buttons on her shirt. Sweat beaded his forehead, and he knew it wasn’t from the flames in the hearth. A completely different fire roared within him, and for a fleeting moment jealously of a little infant consumed him. Frustrated with his own irrational thoughts, Josh wiped the sweat from his forehead, and added more wood to the fire.

“The biscuits should be done,” Dani called from behind him. She sounded normal again. Before he had time to think, his head turned to look in her direction. He sighed in relief. Dani had used Dawn’s blanket to conceal herself from view.  On impulse, he strode across the room to stand over her. Since that first kiss earlier, he couldn’t stay away from her. He knelt beside the chair, and his hand reached up to caress her cheek.

“I’m sorry I called you a cow,” he said. He almost regretted his words when her eyes began to pool with moisture again.

She sniffed, and expelled a short laugh. “I don’t know what’s come over me lately. I just want to cry all the time.”

Josh leaned forward and kissed her. Dani’s soft moan spurred him on. His lips parted, and he fully claimed her willing mouth. Dani’s free arm reached up and around his neck, pulling him closer. Abruptly, he ended the kiss. He had to stop. Her passionate response was going to drive him mad. Breathless, he ran his hand through his hair, and stood.

“You’d better get those biscuits out of the fire before they burn,” Dani said softly, her emerald eyes shimmering with love as she gazed up at him. Josh clenched his jaw. At that moment, he knew he would do anything for her.

*****

Days turned into weeks. Danica couldn’t explain her bouts of sadness. She cried at the most mundane things. Shouldn’t she be the happiest woman on earth? She had a beautiful baby girl, and the man of her dreams was her husband. Each time Josh referred to Dawn as
their
daughter, fresh tears threatened to spill from her eyes.  She concealed her melancholy mood from Josh as best as she could. He might change his mind about staying married to her if she appeared weak and weepy.

They had both avoided the subject of making their forced marriage permanent. Josh was apparently content to wait the full month for her answer. Danica already knew what she would tell him. His eyes filled with admiration and even raw hunger at times when she caught him staring at her from across the room. The way he held her in his arms, and kissed her with such undeniable passion made her go weak in the knees. Could all of that translate into love at some point?  His gentle ways with the baby made her heart swell with love for him more than anything else.  A woman would have to be a fool to let a man like him go.

The weather had turned for the better since the day of Dawn’s birth. Although still cold, the sun shone brightly over the valley, and the snow began to melt. Large chunks of ice broke free from the edges of the Madison River on a daily basis, and the Firehole River roared loudly as its waters tumbled from the gorge in the distance.

Josh had resumed his patrols of the nearby hills and valleys, keeping a lookout for any poachers. Danica knew he wanted to travel further, but she suspected he stayed close to the cabin because of her. During his absence, she cleaned the cabin, took naps while Dawn slept, and prepared meals for when Josh returned. She sat for hours, sewing clothes for the baby from the materials she had brought with her, and altered her own dresses. Her waist had not returned to its previous circumference before her pregnancy. She also had to let out a considerable amount of material in the chest area.

On a few occasions, she’d bundled Dawn up and taken her outdoors. The baby seemed to enjoy the fresh air as much as she did. Danica wasn’t sure if Josh would approve of her taking Dawn outside. He had been rather adamant that the baby should remain in the cabin for the duration of the month. She wasn’t sure if he had meant that literally, or if he had referred to them remaining at the cabin. She saw no reason not to take the baby for short walks, rather than keep her cooped up indoors.

One afternoon, Danica had just finished bundling Dawn up with the intent on walking to the river and back, when she heard the sounds of hoof beats. She lifted the baby to her shoulder, and looked out the window. A small patrol of soldiers rode into the yard near the front of the other cabin. Danica’s heart rate increased inexplicably. No sooner had they halted their horses, when Josh emerged on foot from the opposite direction. She watched him converse with the commanding officer, who dismounted his horse. They shook hands, and headed for the cabin.

Danica moved away from the window. Why did the presence of soldiers give her such an uneasy feeling? Would she ever see a soldier without her chest tightening with apprehension?  To calm her nerves, she patted Dawn’s back and paced the room. Perhaps she should put on a kettle of water for some coffee. She heard the men’s voices just outside the door. Seconds later, the hinges creaked. Her heart rate accelerated. She spun around to face the visitors. Josh walked in, followed by the officer.