Wyatt (Lane Brothers #1) (12 page)

Is that even possible?

“Oh dear, you were far away from him and Bolton. Wyatt saw you, though, and made up his mind to find out who you were so that he could get to know you. I’ve never heard or seen him so excited and downhearted at the same time.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

My heart’s beating because I’m terrified that I do understand; I just don’t want the thoughts in my head to be true.

“He saw you and wanted you, Ellie. I swear it was love at first sight for that boy. But you turned and walked away before he could talk to you, and by the time he was done with his cousin, he just…left. He had you investigated later with some thoughts as to planning a ‘coincidental meeting’ or something. Till he found out that you were in mourning. You know Wyatt by now.”

Yes I do. He would have realized what I was going through and backed off out of respect.

“Okay. Explain to me what’s got him so scared now, Jude.”

“Well, honey, the truth of it is that Bolton never would have taken a second look at you if not for Wyatt’s reaction to you. Bolton was more into the bimbo-type girl and wouldn’t have seen you if you weren’t standing right in front of him. It was Wyatt’s interest that pointed you out to him.”

So if not for Wyatt looking at me, I would have been just fine. Bolton would have left me alone, and I would never have gone through all this.

I’d have lived a normal life with normal friends and normal reactions to things instead of being a messed-up version of a woman I didn’t want to be.

“He did that to me because of…”

“To hurt Wyatt, Ellie. He did everything and anything to hurt my son, and you were just one of the many tools he used to do it. His hatred was so deep and festered that for him, hurting you even though Wyatt never went near you was enough to fill his sadistic fantasies.”

I think I’m going to be sick. No, I know I am when it hits me that not only does a small part of me blame Wyatt for it, but he blames himself, too.

“I-I need to go lie down,” I stammer, swaying to my feet with effort when I feel my head go fuzzy.

“Ellie—”

“No, Jude, don’t, I-I need to go lie down and think about this for a bit. Don’t, don’t say anything yet. Please,” I beg.

She nods and closes her eyes.

“I’ll be right here when you’re ready to talk, dear.”

I flee upstairs and collapse on the bed in a mess of silent tears and so much turmoil and emotion, it’s almost choking me.

How could he do this to me? This is all his fault!

But what exactly did the man do other than look at you across the distance and maybe wonder who you are and what you were doing?

He’s not to blame for any of this, and I know it. Everything that happened to me was the product of one sick, hateful person who twisted Wyatt’s interest in me and used me to hurt him.

I have no doubt that Wyatt would have been hurt and near frantic when he learned about what his cousin did and recognized me.

To make matters worse, I also feel a small kernel of resentment. It may be unreasonable, I know, but I can’t get over the fact that if he’d just spoken to me, none of it would have happened.

We would have hit it off immediately, no doubt, and I would have been protected before that slimy snake put his filthy mitts on me. But…doesn’t it say something good about the man that he’d not been willing to take advantage of me while I was weak and mourning my lost family?

I lie on the bed and cry silently. I know that the desperation I’ve been seeing in Wyatt lately is a result of his anxiety about me knowing the whole truth and the guilt he’s holding on to.

I also find it in myself to cry for Bolton, the monster in my dreams, under my bed, in my head, because I can’t help thinking that if not for that useless father of his, he may have grown up to be a better person than the sick, twisted husk who had no qualms about hurting me.

By the time I dry my eyes and take a breath to stop my sobs, I’ve made up my mind to just let it all go and try from here on out to live in the present.

No, I won’t forget what happened, but I’m not going to let it rule another minute of my life. Never again. I have a man who loves me, whom I love just as much in return. I have the family I’ve needed for so long. But most of all, I have me, the Ellie I used to be who saw only the good in people and tried to overcome grief because I only have one life and I’d been determined to live it the way my family would have wanted me to.

That’s what I’ll do. I will live every day as if it were the last I have, and screw anyone who so much as thinks to take that from me. Bolton is gone and I won’t allow his ghost to control me anymore.

Good for you, El. Now go get our man and lay the truth on him, why don’t ya?

I need to go and tell him that instead of blaming him like he thinks I will, like I wanted to earlier, I feel like he’s saved me.

With my heart a whole lot lighter, I jump up and run for my man, feeling lighter than I have in ages.

I’m going to be a wife and mother soon, and I find myself a little grateful to Bolton. If not for him, Wyatt and I wouldn’t be here, in love and ready to live a life Bolton will never have.

Wyatt

“What the hell are you saying, Jared?”

This can’t be right, none of it can be true. He throws the file at me and I read it, knowing that it is true.

“The guy he hired wasn’t supposed to hurt Ellie. He finally broke yesterday—last night, to be exact—and spilled it all. Jerry hired the guy to watch over Ellie.”

“I don’t, I can’t understand any of this shit,” I snarl, pulling at my hair in frustration. “You intercepted those letters and packages at her apartment. You read the threats and got rid of enough dead animals to know that Ellie was being targeted.”

“Yeah, and like you, I assumed that it was Jerry out of revenge, man. I mean, he was the most likely, the only suspect when we first started looking into things. I, like you, assumed it was him trying to scare her. Then when he hired Sten, I thought it was a hit. The guy isn’t exactly on the up and up.”

“But it’s true, bro. We heard it from Sten, himself. Jerry hired him to be her tail and make sure no one hurt her.”

“Why? He can’t know that Bolton isn’t dead, so he can’t be thinking that he’s still a danger to Ellie!”

I’m yelling at them as I jump up and start pacing back and forth, my mind running at a mile a minute with the confusion and disbelief coursing through me.

It’s true that Bolton isn’t dead, even if he is dead to me. He’s actually locked away in a little prison in France, never to see the light of day again.

              When I heard that Bolton wasn’t in school for a few days and my own guy came back to tell me that Ellie was missing, I’d started searching for them both.

I’d be damned if the little shit died of a drug overdose and hurt poor Aunt Lynn, and I searched for Ellie because I fully suspected her to have gone off somewhere to get away and mourn and I didn’t want her to be alone with her grief.

Imagine my horror when I finally tracked Bolton down and arranged a meeting with him, only for him to laugh his ass off at me and tell me what he’d done.

I’d beat him almost unconscious while trying to find Ellie at that point, only to get to that little shack in the desert and find it empty. We’d learned later that she had escaped and made it to a little town not far away, and they got her to the hospital in time to treat her for dehydration, malnourishment, and extreme mental distress.

Bolton…he was another story, altogether.

I’d been so pissed, I’d wanted to kill him with my bare hands and would have at some point; the rage was that strong. Jared had stopped me and suggested a more fitting punishment. I contacted an old army buddy and set things into motion.

Bolton now lives out his days locked in a cell smaller than my closet with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Last I heard, he was mad as a hatter and needed medicating most of the time to prevent self-harm.

We faked his death, only to give his parents closure and to stop the police from looking for the man.

I know that it’s not Jerry sending Ellie death threats and trying to scare her, but it couldn’t be Bolton…could it?

“Get ahold of Case and have him call Jean Louis. I want to know everything that’s going on with that piece of shit Bolton and I want to know now.”

I look over at my brothers too late and notice their winces and Jace’s curse. I know before I turn fully that she’s standing in the doorway and has heard it all.

“Ellie.”

She’s white as a sheet and trembling hard enough that I’m surprised she’s still standing and not on the floor in a dead faint, but I should know by now that my baby is made of stronger stuff.

Her spine literally stiffens and she narrows her eyes at me in anger.

“I think you have some explaining to do, Wyatt Lane, and I swear to God, if you lie to me even once about anything, I‘ll be gone so fast you won’t believe it.”

Shit, shit, shit.

“Ellie, baby, I—”

She ignores my pleas and marches in, slamming the door with a resounding bang that makes me wince, and look to my brothers for help.

“Oh hell nah, bro, I told you to tell her everything before she found out by herself. You should have taken my advice. Ellie, sweetheart, don’t kill him or nothing, okay? He’s a fool, dumber than a post most days, but he’s a fool for you so he deserves at least a smidgen of understanding for his stupidity,” Miah quips, giving me a wink before rising and tilting his head at the door.

“Awww, I want to stay and watch her rip him a new asshole. Please?” Jace begs, laughing his ass off at my growl and Jared’s slap upside his head.

“Get the hell out of here and stay out till we’re done,” I snarl.

I’m sweating buckets as they clear the room and close the door behind them, leaving me alone with a rabid animal in the form of the woman I love.

Have I mentioned yet that this entire day has been a cluster fuck from beginning to end? That’s the trouble with lying to your loved one, though, and I knew it then as I know it now.

I knew she’d find out sooner or later and come charging at me with fire in her eyes. I was just praying it would be later, much later, after maybe a kid or two and a lot of loving.

Damn.

“Ellie.”

“No! I just spent an hour with Jude telling me about the first time you saw me and failed epically to introduce yourself, thereby wasting years of our lives when we could have met and been together all this time. Now I walk in to hear you saying that Bolton isn’t dead? What the hell is going on, Wyatt?!” she screams, taking a step back when I instinctively move to pull her into my arms and comfort her.

A lot of her reaction is anger, I know it is, but she’s still trembling so violently that she’s forced to fall into a chair lest her knees buckle. I hate that she’s afraid, and hate even more that I’m to blame for most of it.

“El, I…just….I couldn’t kill him, okay! I wanted to. I tried to do it and avenge you, but…I’m too weak, Ellie. I couldn’t do it. Forgive me.”

The shame I feel is enough to have me hating myself all over again, because it’s yet another example of my failure. Any man worth his salt would have beat the fucker to death with his bare hands, and I’ve had to stop Jace from flying to France and doing just that.

But for some reason, and as much as I want Bolton to suffer, I find myself unable to kill him or sanction his death.

“What? You think I wanted you to kill him?” she breathes in horror, shrinking back into the sofa cushions and looking at me as if I’ve lost my marbles. “We’re not animals, Wyatt, and I would never agree with you doing something that unforgivable.”

“But, baby, he hurt you and it was all my fault and I—it was my job to make him pay for it. I just—”

She’s up and slapping me in the next instant, her little palm connecting so hard, I see stars as she stands glaring at me, her breath coming in angry puffs and snarls.

“Don’t you ever say that to me again, Wyatt Lane! You are not to blame for a minute of Bolton Conrad’s actions and you know it! Stop feeling sorry for yourself and man up already.”

“But he wouldn’t have gone for you if not for me.”

What’s wrong with her? Why can’t she see that this is my fault?

“And the sky wouldn’t be blue but for whatever the hell it is that makes it blue! Come on, Wyatt, think logically for a minute instead of always being so hard on yourself, you idiot. Yeah, maybe he did what he did because of you, but I’d met Bolton before that, and he wasn’t exactly disinterested in me, if you know what I mean.

“He could have decided even then to do what he did, who’s to say? The truth is that we’ll never know unless he confesses it all, and from the way he was snapping even then, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t nuttier than hell already. He did what he did because he was a bad person, and that’s the long and short of it, so stop blaming yourself and get over it already. I have.”

I’m shocked and feeling so unsure of everything that it takes me a while to realize that my girl isn’t upset about what I’ve done, but rather that I didn’t tell her and that I’m harboring guilt over it all.

Could she be more perfect?

“Baby, I…I don’t know what to say,” I finally choke out.

“Tell me what’s going on, Wyatt,” she pleads, walking back to the sofa and sitting with a determined glare. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”

“I was afraid you would leave me. I thought—”

“You thought I’d blame you. Yeah, I already got that, and I don’t, so let’s move on. I’m glad you didn’t kill your own cousin. That’s not something I would have agreed with, and you wouldn’t be the man I love if you were capable of doing something like that.”

              “Did you just say you love me?”

Her face goes hard and she scowls.

“Yes, I did, and so what? I’m not talking about that right now. I want to know what you did with him, and then I want to know why you’re so tense. Start talking.”

“But El—”

“Do not start on that right now, Wyatt Lane. You’re lucky I haven’t slapped you senseless yet, and at this rate, you’ll be lucky to live another day. I warned you before, I need to know what’s going on. It’s the only way I feel in control of my life and you know it.”

“I shoved him in a prison in the French countryside and left him there to go nuts. And I’m not sorry. I may be too sissy to kill the man, but he deserved to suffer for what he did and what he would have done.”

“Okay. That I can accept, but only because I fully believe he would have killed me eventually and probably gone on to hurt someone else. What I want to know about is what I heard before. There were letters and packages?”

I was hoping she hadn’t heard that part, because telling my baby that some psycho is trying scare her and intends to hurt her is not something I’m down with at all.

As the man, it’s my job to protect her and keep her from feeling fear.

              “Yes. They started arriving a few months ago, along with a few dead animals, and once a letter that had traces of powder on it. It scared the shit out of me, and I only stopped sitting outside your apartment when Jared confirmed that it wasn’t poison of some kind.”

I’d thought anthrax at the time and been ready to snatch Ellie up and drag her home that very day. But Miah had convinced me to let it play out so Roman and the boys could gather more evidence before the culprit ran to ground.

When Jerry had been spotted outside her apartment, we’d run with the theory that it was him trying to exact revenge in some twisted way for the death of his son.

I know differently now, but that still doesn’t tell us a whole hell of a lot.

Ellie’s gone pale again and lost that indignant anger. I hate that it’s brining up all of the fear and memories I’ve been striving to get rid of by giving her all the security and happiness I can.

              “Who is it? Jerry? Can’t we just tell the cops and—”

“It’s not him, Ellie. Jared and Miah questioned the guy he hired only to discover that Jerry had him on you as protection.”

Her face scrunches and she looks confused.

“Does that mean this is a new stalker? Oh god! What is it about me that just screams ‘ready to be stalked and murdered’! I swear to God, if they so much as come near me, I’ll murder this time.”

I feel my self-control snap beneath a spate of violent anger. I may not have been capable of killing my own kin, no matter how much I hate the guy, but it won’t be that way again and I know it.

This time I’ll annihilate the culprit, and now that I know it’s not Jerry, the stakes just got higher. I could watch and control Uncle Jerry, but an unknown is a dangerous entity and something else altogether.

“Hey, Wyatt! Sorry for interrupting, bro. Hey, Ellie, thanks for being such a cool chick and still loving the world’s biggest idiot,” Jared says, sticking his head into the room.

“Is there a reason you’re interrupting, asshole?” I snarl, still tripping over the fact that Ellie has yet to let me discuss her declaration of love.

“Uh, yeah. Duh. Roman just called and it’s not good, bro. Jerry was just in a huge car accident. Seems someone cut his break lines.”

“What?! Jesus, is he okay?”

“Yeah. A few bruises and a broken wrist, but he’s all good. They need to come in, bro. If this thing is getting this messed up, and we know he isn’t the bad guy, we can’t leave him and Aunt Lynnie out there unprotected.”

“Pop’s going to have a fit,” I groan, swiping a hand down my face.

“He’s the one who said I need to go get them. Family, bro, family. You know how Pop is about that shit, and Jerry’s still family at the end of the day.”

“Yeah, fine….go get them and make sure things at their place are okay.”

He nods and leaves without another word and I close my eyes tiredly. I’m all the way back to square one here, and instead of just having to protect Ellie, I now have to ensure that my whole family is out of harm’s way.