Wyatt (Lane Brothers #1) (11 page)

Ellie

Jude is a hoot and possibly one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And I love her already. It’s as if I’ve known her and her husband all my life and we’re just reconnecting.

The idea of marrying Wyatt and having his children scared me at first, but the longer Jude speaks about how much Wyatt loves me and how obsessed he’s been about me, the easier it’s getting to see myself as a permanent fixture in this family.

“Hey, Ma, I’m going to steal my girl before lunch and show her around.”

She pouts but lets us go with the strict order to be down at exactly one for a good lunch and some more wedding planning before Wyatt grabs my hand and starts towing me up the stairs.

True to his word and the rundown Jude gave me, I soon discover that Wyatt has his own wing in the eastern side of the house that is big enough to have me breaking out in a sweat from the long walk it takes to get to his room.

Good, now I don’t have to worry about us having sex under the same roof as his parents, since they’d never hear us unless they were outside the door.

“This is…”

The room is exactly how I would have decorated it with soft creams and a shade of lilac that makes me laugh my ass off. I happen to love this color, but seeing Wyatt in a room this girly is hilarious.

“Do you like it?” he asks, pulling me farther into the room and to the bench seat at the foot of the bed.

“Yup. It’s perfect, though I can’t believe you have a lilac room.”

I’m on his lap and not too surprised when he shifts me and presses me closer to his erection. Our relationship is still very new despite our familiarity with each other, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Wyatt and I are still starved for each other a year or two from now.

              “Baby, this is your room, too, so why wouldn’t I make sure it would be what you want? Me, I don’t give a shit about the color of the duvet as long as you’re under it with me. Speaking of which…”

His lips are on mine before I can take my next breath, and I lean into him with a sigh, spearing my hands through his hair to pull his head down and closer.

“Make love to me, Wyatt,” I gasp, pulling my mouth away and moaning when his hands skate up and under my shirt, his fingers finding my breasts without pause.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

***

Wyatt

The idyllic peace of the last few days is shattered when I get a call four days later letting me know that Aunt Lynn is on her way, ready and rearing to meet the woman who brought me to my knees.

I love Aunt Lynn, don’t get me wrong, but the thought of having her anywhere near Ellie while that piece of garbage she’s married to has free access to our home through her makes my skin crawl.

“Tell her no, Pop. I don’t want her near Ellie till her husband is safely behind bars,” I snarl, pacing the study with long strides and agitation.

“Wyatt, we knew this would happen sooner or later. Lynn is my sister, and she has a right to be part of the family and you know it. Now settle down and talk to me, boy.”

Talk about what? The fact that for the last four days and nights I’ve been making love to Ellie and doing everything in my power to earn her trust along with that last scarp of her love.

It’s unreasonable to even think this, but I’m pissed that she doesn’t love me yet. Think of what I’ve gone through to get to this point we’re at. I haven’t made love to another woman in two years since I finally decided to go after Ellie.

That was my penance and the way I kept myself pure for her, because no matter how many times I told myself to leave her alone, I knew I would always want her.

I’ve spent so long watching her while also trying to bury myself in work and chasing that perfect deal that to say I had a life at that stage would have been laughable.

I won’t lie to her and pretend to be someone I’m not. I’ve always been a take-charge, go-after-what-I-want-till-I-get-it kind of guy, and this patience shit is not my natural state.

On one hand, I keep berating myself for my anger over her not taking one look at me and loving me. On the other, I still wonder how she can be so great that she’d break down so much of her walls and actually let me anywhere near her.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part, but a large chunk of my already lost heart is thinking that she knows that we are meant to be together.

That’s the part of me that gets annoyed when I say something like “I want a quick wedding” and she takes three steps back and away from me. I shouldn’t be rushing her and overwhelming her, but the fear that she’ll soon find it all out despite my family’s promise not to say anything before I’m ready…it’s always there, driving me harder, faster, demanding more, more, more.

“Pop, listen, I know I’m being unreasonable here, but I know Aunt Lynn. She won’t hesitate to say something if she thinks she should, and half the time she’s so innocent of the undercurrents, she’s bound to let too much slip without even knowing,” I mutter, dropping down into a seat at his desk.

“Boy, you’re walking on eggshells right now and part of me feels for you, I really do, but I warned you not to leave things going this long without speaking to Ellie. If the girl didn’t feel something for you, she wouldn’t be here with us right now and you know it.”

That’s true, but I’m a greedy man. I want the whole enchilada and the side order of salad, too. Ellie has to love me without reserve, and so much that when she knows everything, it won’t hurt her.

And end up hurting me when she turns and walks away.

“She’s not ready. No, Pop, she isn’t. I know it because I hold her at night when she’s having nightmares and shedding silent tears in her sleep. I get the job of knowing that her dreams are back, because I’ve stirred up that can of worms. It’s all too raw.”

He shakes his head at me and gets that bullish expression on his face that reminds me so much of Jared, I don’t even want to be here to hear what the old fart has to say.

“For you. Yeah I said it, boy, and I won’t take it back because it’s a long time coming. This is all still too fresh for you! Ellie is doing just fine here with the way your mama and brothers pamper her to death. And that’s without you trying to run around after the poor girl twenty-four hours. She is fine and she’s told you that a hundred times. It’s your own misplaced guilt that’s fucking everything up, and if I were you, I’d think about getting help and letting that stuff go.”

Shit.

I will never forgive myself for any of it. The worst part? I didn’t even get to play the hero and save Ellie, because she ran and got out of there, herself.

Whatever fear she had was overcome by…I don’t know what, maybe her need for survival or the innate knowledge that Bolton was going to escalate soon.

Whatever the reason, she saved herself. All I have to offer her now is me, and the way I see it, if she accepts, she’ll be getting the short end of the stick in the bargain.

“Son. Ellie is strong and more than well rounded enough to be just fine. It’s you who’s sabotaging things, holding out till the other shoe drops. Rip the bandage off and check to see if it’s healed, because staring at the bandage, wondering what’s going on underneath, isn’t getting you anywhere. As for Lynn…she has a right to meet Ellie and get to know her and maybe one day come to terms with what her son was capable of.”

No, she doesn’t! Is it harsh that I blame her a little for all of it? Yes, I know it is, because if she finds out that the perfect woman I love so much is the same one Bolton hurt, she’d probably cry.

But he was her son, a product of her failures as a parent, and I can’t help thinking that if she’d seen him for what he was and done something about his hatred, none of it would have happened.

“I don’t want Ellie to know yet and that’s final.”

“Jesus, you’re a stubborn asshole, just like those brothers of yours. Fine, I’ll call Lynn and make an excuse, but you sort this out soon or I will, Wyatt.”

Pop is one of those men who takes the care of his females very seriously. Ma has joked more than once that she is beyond grateful she didn’t have a daughter for Pop to drive crazy with his coddling and overly protective ways.

Poor Ellie is the first, and my pop seems to be obsessed with ensuring her care and happiness. Including giving Ellie everything she needs, like knowing the whole story.

“Soon. I promise.”

“Good, because I won’t let my sister suffer for any of this, not after what we did with her son.”

He says this after four years of everyone dancing around the subject. He’s never agreed with my methods, not once.

Bolton had to pay for what he did and I made him. If Pop is upset because Aunt Lynn still doesn’t know the whole story, that’s his problem.

I’ve lived with it just fine for years, and I plan to live with it for the rest of my life.

“It’s done. He didn’t deserve better and you Goddamn know it, Pop. Now I’m leaving before you and I get into another argument about something I can’t change,” I say, rising to leave the study and Pop’s accusing stares.

“You can, Wyatt, you just won’t. Sometimes I swear it would have been better if he’d hurt you instead of Ellie, because it would have been easier for you to get over. You’ve let this mess control you for too long, kid.”

And I will continue on this way till I have what I want and my woman is safe from the jackals. Thank God my brothers have always had my back, because Ma and Pop have never agreed with what I did to Bolton.

“Would you feel any different if it happened to Ma?” I ask shortly, pausing at the door and turning to him.

That gives him pause and I see his eyes go black before he takes a breath and looks up at me.

“I don’t know, son, I just don’t know. Bolton was my nephew and a part of this family, too. I loved him despite all of his faults and would only want the best for the boy. What you did wasn’t meant to change anything, it was for revenge and you know it. I hate that you’ve become this vengeful person when you never were before. I want my kid back, Wyatt.”

I don’t answer, just turn and leave the way I came, because what can I say? I won’t ever be that carefree, fun-loving man ever again and he knows it. Gone are the days that I’d spend time just enjoying life and searching for the next adventure.

I never want to disappoint my family the way I did before. If that means living with the guilt of my actions against my own cousin, so be it.

“
Psst
, yo, bro, get your ass over here before Ma or Ellie see you.”

My eyes meet Miah’s where he’s peeping around the wall above the stairs and I grin, taking the stairs two at a time to reach him.

“What’s up?”

“They’re looking for a guinea pig for the baking they’re doing.”

“And you’re cowering upstairs?”

“They found this cookbook for sugar-free treats and that shit is just nasty. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the call I just got from Roman, and if they get their hooks into us, we’ll be busy eating tasteless shit the rest of the day. Come with me.”

Ellie

I don’t have the heart to tell Jude that my idea of tasty treats does not include sugar that isn’t sugar and taste like the sweet, decayed flesh of a corpse.

Instead, I help her bake batch after batch of cookies that her sons won’t eat and just let the monotonous task soothe me. My nerves are on edge and have been the last few days, thanks to Wyatt’s urgency—a desperation I don’t understand but feel every time he looks at me, touches me, or makes love to me.

It’s as if he’s afraid to let me out of his sight for even a minute. As a result, I’m tempted to cling to him in case something bad happens to ruin this peaceful place we’ve found together.

Another reason I’m so uneasy is the fact that I think I went and did it. I went and let myself fall for the man who has done nothing but love and worship me since taking me.

I’m dependant on him for everything, something I swore to myself I wouldn’t do because I hate feeling this needy for another. I’m needy and so in love with him and his family that most days it’s all I can do not to jump him and demand an engagement ring and the wedding he’s put off because I acted like I didn’t want it yet.

Talk about a major error in judgement.

“Ellie, honey, are you alright?”

Jude’s staring at me askance and I realize I’ve been standing in front of the oven holding a tray of raw cookies, just staring into space. I have a tendency to zone out lately, a character trait that’s returned now that I’m not so stiff and hard on myself.

Letting down my barriers is great, but I’ve found myself saying and doing some things only the old naïve Ellie would have done and I don’t like it one bit.

“Uh, I’m fine, Jude, just fine. Sorry, I sort of spaced out for a minute.”

I get the cookies into the oven and sit down at the table with a cup of tea and my thoughts as Jude joins me, her eyes soft and understanding.

“Love isn’t easy to accept when the one you love happens to be a Lane and so overwhelmingly present in your heart and mind,” she says ruefully, giving me the eye. “Don’t deny it, Ellie dear, I’d only be offended because I’d know your denials are lies. You love my son.” She claps her hands gleefully.

“Shh! I don’t….what am I supposed to do with all of this so soon, Jude? I mean, it’s one thing to go with his flow and change everything I’ve done or felt for years, but now…”

“Now you’re afraid that it’s all happening too soon and seems too perfect and good to be true?”

“Something like that,” I mumble, taking a sip of tea to steady my beating heart.

I’ve never been in love with a man before and it terrifies me. I knew it this morning when I rolled over and saw him sleeping beside me.

              The rightness I felt, the utter joy that this was the first face I was seeing tipped me off, and he only made it worse when his eyes opened and he smiled so wide, my heart near burst.

He’s depending on me to love him, but hasn’t so much as made a move or said anything to force the issue, and I find myself afraid of the responsibility and trust he’s put in me.

As well as the fear that we’ve moved too fast and any day now he’s going to realize that and break my heart. I’m all in now, completely in love with them all, and it would kill me to lose the new family I’ve only just found.

“Honey, I won’t sit here and say that it’s easy, because it’s not. Wyatt is a chip off the old block and not an easy man to love because he’s so intense. There was a time that I ran from George like the hounds of hell were chasing me because I knew if he caught me, I was done for.”

“George? Sweet George who seems so mild mannered?” I ask, shocked that the original, laid-back, easygoing George would have been anything like Wyatt.

She snorts and sips her own coffee, grimacing for a second before her mouth breaks into a smile ad she laughs humorlessly.

“George is worse than Wyatt, though you’d never think it just looking at him. He took one look at me in college and came after me. I, of course, was not pleased. I’d just started college and had no plans to settle down anytime soon. I wanted freedom and to live a life all my own with a career and friends and everything.”

“I understand that.”

I do and I don’t. There was a time when I had dreamed only of having a family of my own one day. Of course, I was in college to prepare for a career, but it was only a secondary goal.

              “He chased me, though, and man oh man was he relentless. When he finally caught me I had two choices—lose him and choose a life that suddenly seemed empty or leave college and try for something more.”

“You chose him.”

“No!” She laughs, shaking her head ruefully, her eyes going soft and low with memories. “I was stubborn. I cussed him out and started dating a lot of men I wasn’t interested in. See, I was terrified of loving George, because I didn’t believe he’d stay. I thought he’d lose interest and move on, leaving me heartbroken in the dirt.”

“George? Seriously? The man is still smitten, Jude.”

She laughs again and nods, not the slightest bit humble about her husband’s complete adoration. She just accepts it and seems to revel in his love.

“Yup, something I learned days after dumping his ass. See, George isn’t like other guys of my time. He believed in equality across the board and equal opportunity, like me finishing school and having choices. He just didn’t see why we couldn’t have that and a family.”

“Please tell me he did not kidnap you, too!” I giggle, feeling more understanding and amused by Wyatt now than I did before.

Seriously, now that I’m here, all I can do when I think about his methods is laugh. One thing’s for sure, Wyatt will never do things by halves, which means he’ll be a great father.

              “Nope. George is, shall we say, a bit more refined in his methods than my eldest son. He seduced me and managed to knock me up on the first go round.”

“Noooo.”

“Yes, oh yes. The man is diabolical when he wants something, and never once hesitated once he had a plan. He got me pregnant, to the altar, and in his home before I could blink. It was just what I needed, though, because as much as I loved him then, I would have kept fighting it just to prove a point. He confessed later that he was going crazy without me and didn’t see any other choice, but at the time I was pissed at us both.”

I can well imagine. A friend of mine from college had a pregnancy scare at one time, and she got so mad at her and her boyfriend both that she broke up with him and refused to leave the dorm for anything other than class and going to the library.

They got back together a few weeks later after she got her period and I asked her why she’d willingly lose the guy she loved because of something that isn’t a bad thing, and she’d said that her career was the only goal she’d set for herself, and failure, when it was her own stupidity that caused it, would have made her hate them both.

Some women just want what they want and I can’t judge.

“How did he change your mind?” I ask, getting into the story now that I see some parallels between it and my own relationship with her son.

“Well, he just kept telling me that he loved me and would never leave me for anything in the world, and I eventually realized it was true. It also helped that he took Wyatt to work with him after he was born while I went back to school. The man was a manny from the time Wyatt took his first breath. It got so bad, I had to kick his ass to get my hands on my own baby.”

“You’re exaggerating.”

We both turn to see her husband leaning against the doorjamb, an indulgent smile on his face before he strolls in and bends to kiss us both on the cheek.

“I’m leaving now. I have a meeting I couldn’t cancel. Do me a favor, Judy baby, and talk some sense into your son. Lynnie was on her way for a visit and he made me cancel it. I don’t like this situation one bit. He’s being stubborn and pigheaded.”

I almost feel like I’m eavesdropping when they start whispering to each other and end the exchange with a kiss I never thought I’d see from a couple who have been married for well over thirty years.

Boy, I hope Wyatt still looks at me that way when I’m old and graying.

“Ellie, darling, Wyatt needs to talk to you, but the boy is afraid.”

He leaves without clarifying and I look to Jude for an answer.

“I think it’s time for me to tell you what happened when Wyatt first laid eyes on you,” she says, sighing tiredly.

I find myself swallowing past a dry, swollen throat when my nerves tense up in anticipation of bad news.

              “Talk.”

She shakes her head and rises to refill our cups and grab a plate of biscuits. The poor things are harder than rock and require more than a dunking or ten before I can bite and swallow without killing myself, but I don’t have the heart to tell her that she’s created a flop of mega proportions here.

Not even my poor Goofball would eat these, and she’d eat a shoe on a good day.

“Wyatt and Bolton were always at odds with each other since they were kids. Bolton hated Wyatt because my son was one of those people who just seemed to excel at everything without much effort. Not that he didn’t work his ass off to get to where he is, mind you. George never paid a cent towards any of the boys’ college tuitions, and they all worked from the age of sixteen. But, anyway, they just did not get along.

“That’s why when Bolton finally went off to college in Philadelphia, we thought things would be better.” She sighs tiredly, looking down into her coffee cup.

“I take it they did not get better?”

“Why no, dear, they got worse. See, Jerry, Bolton’s father, married Lynn Lane and decided never to set foot in an office again. The man spent his life living high on the hog and teaching his son to do the same. But it was at a price, because no matter how much they tried, they were no better than us.”

Bolton must not have liked that one bit, I think, watching Jude’s eyes cloud over and tear.

“Jerry wanted more, better…turns out he was just jealous of George and used his resentment of all of his success to turn his son into a little asshole,” she growls, making me giggle behind my hand before I can stop myself.

She smiles kindly at me and waves away the apology I try to offer.

“He was a little asshole, honey, so no apology needed. Now where was I? Oh yeah, he was a tyrant when it came to that boy of his, and every time Bolton lost to any of my boys, he’d have a go at him. Unfortunately, any time the boys got together and played, Wyatt always won. He was older, stronger, and better liked by his little brothers, because—”

“He was kind,” I finish.

Of all the things I’ve seen in him, it’s his kindness and need to help others that gets to me the most. Wyatt is kind to the core and no one could be better in my eyes.

“Yeah, he’s always gone out of his way to protect the littler ones and help where it’s needed. Bolton hated that, hated that he was more popular, stronger, more likely to succeed at everything he did, and that sentiment started a one-sided rivalry between the two.”

I can so see that without any trouble. Bolton was not a nice person, and he hated losing in any way. One of his girlfriends once complained that he sucked in bed because he refused to let her come first.

The thought makes me giggle now and I shake my head thinking of all the progress I’ve made in so short a time. Used to be that I couldn’t even think his name without breaking out in a cold sweat.

“What happened?”

“Well, by the time Bolton went off to college, Lynn and Jerry were in a financial mess. Jerry made a lot of bad investments on top of spending his wife’s money like it was a never-ending well of wealth. George ended up settling some more money on his sister and paying for Bolton’s education. And still, the boy refused to even try. He failed one year so poorly that George had to donate money to the school so he could stay.”

Not a surprise. Bolton was well put together and stylish, that’s a fact, but the man was dumber than a stump on a good day.

“After that we started keeping tabs on him. He was drinking, doing drugs, and not going to class and George was so mad. Anyhow, he sent Wyatt to talk to his cousin and get him back in line, a mistake we both regret more than anything in the world now. We should have known that sending him would make things worse, but George was just so angry, and Wyatt, he never loses his cool, so we thought…”

“You thought he’d shame Bolton into working harder,” I finish for her.

“Yes. He went and spoke to the idiot, but Bolton just got so angry and refused to listen, something Wyatt confessed didn’t surprise him one bit. But I digress, I need to tell you my favorite part, the part where my son was standing in the middle of the common, trying to reason with his no-good cousin. You see, that’s when he first saw you.”

I’m fit to catch flies my mouth falls open so wide, and for a minute, I swear I just heard her wrong. No way, no. How would I have forgotten a man like Wyatt if I laid eyes on him four years ago? No way.

“But, but how? I never saw him.”

I’m so confused and just…adrift with this information. Is this what Wyatt didn’t want me to know? But it’s so…sweet to think that he saw me across the way and fell for me.