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Authors: Jon Scieszka

BOOK: Wushu Were Here
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“A
re we there yet?” Anna said.

“Not yet,” I said for the 800th time. We'd been climbing straight up a steep, craggly mountain for over a day. “Why do wise men always live in the middle of nowhere?”

“I just hope this guy will show me some kung fu moves while he's getting Sam out of
The Book
.
HEE-YAAH!
” Fred said, as he did a spastic kick.

“Hey, Joe,” a muffled voice said. “Open up.”

It was Sam from inside
The Book
. Reluctantly, I opened it.

“According to
The Book
,” Sam said, “we're going to go right by the Great Wall of China.”

“No kidding,” Fred said. “The Great Wall of China? That thing's like four thousand miles long and one hundred feet high.”

“Actually,” Sam said. “It's closer to four thousand, five hundred miles. Longer than the distance from New York to California. It began as a lot of little walls around different kingdoms, but kept growing and growing—for more than two thousand years. And did you know that it's considered the Eighth Wonder of the World?”

Sam with his nose in a book was bad enough.

Sam
in
a book was just too much.

“I don't see any Great Wall,” I said, looking around. “All that's here is a puny little row of stones. It barely comes up to my knees.”

“I guess they're still working on it,” Fred said.

We stepped easily over the not-so-great wall of China and kept walking.

 

Finally, we reached a cave at the very top of the mountain. That's where Tanzong said we'd find Hui-k'o—the magic man.

“According to Tanzong's map, Hui-k'o's house should be right here,” Fred said.

“What?” Anna said. “In a cave?”

I peeked into the mouth of the cave. “Hello?” I said.

My voice echoed a few times, but there was no other response.

“Oh great,” Sam said. “We came all this way. Over that mountain. Over that “great” wall. For nothing. I'm still stuck in this book, we're still stuck in China—”

“And I still don't know any kung fu,” Fred added.


Those
are your problems?” a voice said.

We turned and saw a small, old man wearing a worn cloak.

“Bah,” he continued. “That's nothing. Try being sixty years old and living alone on a mountain.”

“Are you Hui-k'o?” Anna asked.

“I am no one,” he responded. “A mere ripple on the river of time.”

Fred, Anna, and I sighed.

The man smiled slightly. “But you may call me Master Hui-k'o if it pleases you,” he said.

“Can you help us?” I said. “We need you to get our friend out of this book.”

Hui-k'o took
The Book
and held it in his hands. It glowed green for a second, and
Hui-k'o nodded wisely.

“Your friend will be released when the time is right,” he said.

Hui-k'o handed
The Book
back to me.

“Well?” he said impatiently. “What are you all waiting for? You think the chores will do themselves?”

Hui-k'o looked at me and pointed to a bucket. “You,” he said. “Fetch water from the stream. Do not spill a single drop.”

Then he looked at Fred and pointed to a shovel. “You. Clean out the stable. And be careful—my horse is very temperamental.”

Anna eagerly approached Hui-k'o, ready to receive her orders. “What about me, Master Hui-k'o? What is my assignment?”

Hui-k'o rubbed his chin and thought for a moment.

“You,” he said. “Stay out of the way.”

“That's it?” Fred said. “You're not going to teach us any kung fu?”

“To the mind that wishes to learn,” Hui-k'o said, “everything is a lesson.” Then he yawned. “It's time for my nap.”

Hui-k'o turned and went into his cave, leaving us to complete the chores.

“He
must
be a wise man,” Fred said. “I can't understand a thing he says.”

I grabbed the water bucket and handed
The Book
to Anna. “Don't get any ideas,” I said. “You're just watching it for me.”

“Okay, okay,” Anna said. “I'm just watching it.”

 

For the next few days, we hung around Hui-k'o's and helped around the cave. At least we
tried
to. Who knew fetching water could be so hard? I ended up spilling more than I carried.

Fred did his best to shovel out the horse stall. But Hui-k'o's horse had a different idea. I heard a loud
WHUMP
! I turned to see Fred flying through the air. He landed in a heap at the back of the stall. Out cold.

Even Anna had trouble following orders. And all she had to do was stay out of the way.

After three days, we'd just about had it. We were tired and bored, and Hui-k'o wasn't telling us anything. Fred was ready to leave, but something made me think Hui-k'o knew more than he was letting on.

I was taking a catnap down by the stream, when I suddenly heard a voice.

“Wake up!” Hui-k'o yelled. “Dreaming will not fill the bucket.”

“I'm awake! I'm awake!” I yelled, hopping to my feet, still half asleep. “Now where did I put that water bucket?”

“Oh, no,” I said. There, dangling from a high tree branch, was the water bucket. Just then, a huge gust of wind blew the bucket off
the branch. It was heading for the stream.

But before it hit the water, the bucket suddenly stopped in midair. It hovered over the stream and began to glow with a greenish light. “Huh?” I said.

I whipped around, and there stood Hui-k'o. One hand held his staff; the other was raised in the direction of the bucket. Slowly the bucket began to float toward him.

“Bodhidharma always said the wise man never shows his powers,” Hui-k'o said. “But this time, I'll make an exception.”

“H-how'd you do that?” I stammered. “Who's Bodhidharma?”

“The father of Zen Buddhism,” Hui-k'o said, as he caught the bucket. “And my former teacher.”

We sat on some nearby rocks, and Hui-k'o explained. “Many years ago he came from India to the Shaolin monastery. The monks were lazy and fell asleep in meditation, so he taught them special exercises. Some say these techniques evolved into kung fu.”

“So that thing you just did—with the bucket—that was kung fu?” I asked.

Hui-k'o smiled. “No,” he said. “That was something I learned long, long ago…from…
The Book
.”

“So you
do
know about
The Book
,” I said.

“I have seen it before,” Hui-k'o said. “This book of yours—it is fun. Full of adventures, also. But in the wrong hands, very dangerous.”

Hui-k'o gave me a serious look. “The one who had
The Book
before—always, he is looking for it.
Always, he is looking for
you
.”

“My uncle Joe?” I said, confused. He's the one who'd given me
The Book
. Hui-k'o didn't answer.

“There is no time to explain,” he said. “You and your friends must go back to Tanzong. A great battle is beginning.”

“But how can we help?” I said. “You didn't teach us how to fight.”

“The danger that awaits you there,” he said, “is less than the danger that seeks you here.”

I wasn't exactly sure what Hui-k'o meant, but the way he said it sent shivers down my spine.

“Just remember, Joe,” Hui-k'o added, “time is in the mind. Control your mind and you can do anything.”

“Easy for you to say,” I said. “You're a Zen Master.”

“Nonsense,” Hui-k'o said. “Anyone can control his mind. It's as simple as carrying a
bucket of water.” Hui-k'o held up the bucket and smiled. But the smile soon disappeared.

“Now go,” he said. “Quickly—you are all in great danger.”

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