Wushu Were Here

Anna, Fred, and I peeked out from the skinny bamboo trees we were hiding behind. In a small clearing we saw two angry-looking guys dressed in ancient-looking Chinese robes. They were both holding wooden fighting staffs and looked ready to rumble.

“Not strong enough?” the second guy replied. “I'll show you strength.
HEEYAAH!
”

He swung his fighting staff at angry guy number one. The end of the staff smacked into
the ground with a thud. Angry guy number one had vanished into thin air.

Suddenly he reappeared right beside angry guy number two.

“
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
” Angry Two screamed as if he'd seen a ghost. He dropped his staff and fled in shock.

“Go to your village!” Angry One yelled. “Send me your best fighters and I will test their strength.”

Then he picked up the other staff on the ground. He looked a little disappointed that the fight hadn't lasted longer.

“Is there no one in China who is up to the task?” he said to no one in particular. He tossed Angry Two's staff into the air, sending it flying in Fred's direction.

“Ow! Hey!” Fred yelled. “It's raining weapons.” He picked up the staff that had just smacked him on the head. “Hey, Joe,” he said, showing it to me. “Look at this cool fighting staff!”

Fred swung the staff wildly and struck his best kung fu pose.

“Maybe you should put that down,” Anna suggested.

I gave Anna a look. It was her fault we were in this messâstuck in the middle of a forest in ancient China with Fred waving a weapon and an angry Chinese warrior guy five feet away.

“This is all because you went digging in my things,” I said.

“Well, I wouldn't have dug,” Anna said, “if you'd just told me what wushu is.”

“Silence!” a voice screamed.

Angry One had spotted us. “You,” he said, looking at Fred. “You will go first.”

Fred looked at his staff and then back at the angry guy who was now in a fighting stance. “Something tells me we're not playing stickball,” Fred said.

Angry One pulled his knee into his chest and then slid in Fred's direction. Fred ducked. Anna and I dived back toward our bamboo hiding place.

Fred tried to stand up, but suddenly Angry One was an inch from his face.

“Whaâ¦?” Fred cried.

“You are fast, my friend,” Angry One said. “But not fast enough.”

“
KYAAAAAAH!
” He whipped his staff at Fred, who fell to the ground.

Anna and I ran to Fred. “Are you okay?” I asked.

No reply. Fred wasn't moving.

“Wake up!” Anna cried.

Angry One looked down at us with an evil stare. “I have finished off your friend,” he said. “Who is next?”

CHAPTER 2

P
oor Fred. He never saw it coming. I blame it all on that kung fu movieâ¦.

We were back in Brooklyn hanging out in my room, watching a movie about these two guys from seventh-century China, Li Shimin and Wang.

“I knew you were behind this, Wang.”

“Where are your monks when you need them, Li Shimin?”

See, Li Shimin was the good guy who'd been kidnapped by Wang, the bad guy. Now Li Shimin's thirteen monk friends were going
to take on Wang's entire army to get their pal back. But at the moment, Li Shimin and Wang were going to duke it out man-to-man.

They both raised their fighting staffs.

“Awesome!” Fred said. “Time for an old-fashioned booty-whoopin', kung fuâstyle.”

Li Shimin and Wang slid carefully around each other like two cobras waiting to strike.

Suddenlyâ¦
whap
,
whap
. The staffs slammed into each other. They battled back and forth for a few minutes.

Then Wang landed a real whammy. Li Shimin was about to crumple. Thenâ¦

“Do you suffer from uncontrollable drooling? Well, now there's help.”

“Oh, man,” I said.

“There's always a commercial just at the exciting part.”

“Is the good guy really dead?” Anna asked.

“Nah,” Fred said. “He's the hero. They'd never kill the hero in the first five minutes.”

Fred jumped up into his own kung fu stance. “That guy playing Li Shimin is so cool,” he said. “He's got great wushu.” Fred did a wild kick, knocking over the lamp on my desk.

“âWushu?' What's that?” Anna asked.

Fred ignored Anna and chopped at the air. “I'd love to try out some wushu on my older brother, Mike.
WAAAAYAAAAAH.
”

“What
is
wushu?” Anna asked again.

“You know,” Sam said, “kung fu isn't about attacking your enemies; it's about using your enemy's own energy against them.”

Sam had his nose in a history book. As usual, he was more than happy to share the information.

Fred was about to attempt a roundhouse kick when his watch began beeping loudly.

“I wish I could figure out how to turn this thing off,” Fred said. He tried pushing one button. Then another. And another. Finally, the watch was quiet.

“Would someone
please
tell me what wushu is?” Anna cried.

I would have answered her questionâ¦if driving her crazy weren't so much fun. Besides I had my own questions.

“Hey, Sam,” I said. “Did thirteen monks really take on a whole army? Or did they make that up for the movie?”

Sam flipped through the pages of the history book. “Li Shimin is in here, but it doesn't say anything about the thirteen monks.”

“Hey,” I said, “I bet it's in
The Book
.” I headed toward “the safe” to get it.

Sam looked up, panicked. “Joe,” he said. “Don't even think about it. You know what'll happen. We'll warp, get in trouble, and the next thing you know someone will be trying to chop our heads off.”

He had a point.
The Book
had gotten us into a few scrapes in the past. I got it as a birthday present from my uncle Joe on my tenth birthday. It's basically a time machineâit can transport us to any place and time in history. While that sounds really cool, there is one problem: Whenever we travel through time,
The Book
has a habit of disappearing. And without it, there is no way to get back home. But I
really
wanted to know about those monks. I opened the safe and gasped.

“What?” Fred and Sam asked at the same time.

“
The Book
â
it's gone!” I cried.

“Wushu,” Anna said. “Literally translated,
wu
means âmartial' and
shu
means âart.' In other words, the study of the art of fighting.”

Fred, Sam, and I looked over to see Annaâ¦reading from
The Book
.

Sam froze.

“Hey,” I said. “Where'd you get that?”

“From that cardboard box you keep it in,” Anna said.

“The safe!” I cried.

“That's supposed to be a safe?” Anna said.

I was about to throttle her, when Fred interrupted.

“Does it say anything about the monks?” he asked.

Anna flipped the page and pointed. “Oh, look. That thing with the thirteen monks really did happen. They broke Li Shimin out of prison. Wang wasâ”

“That's
my
book!” I yelled.

“I'm just looking,” Anna said.

Clearly her little-sister brain was not grasping what I was saying. Time for action. I tried to yank
The Book
out of her hands.

“Hey!” Anna cried, holding on tightly.

“I don't go digging through your things,” I said. “How'd you like it if I raided your diary?”

“That's different,” Anna said.

“Heyâ¦uhâ¦guys,” a small voice said. It was Sam. “Guys, don't pull on
The Book
. Don't pullâ¦”

But Anna and I were too busy with our tug-of-war to pay much attention.

“Tear that book,” Sam said loudly, “and you could rip the entire space-time continuum!”

Just as I gave
The Book
a giant tug, Anna let go. My arm flew back and
The Book
went with it, smashing into Sam. A flash of green light erupted from it, blinding us.

I looked down. My body was still there. Phew. We hadn't warped.

“We're still here,” I said. “Sorry, Sam. I think I whacked you pretty hard with
The Book
.”

I turned around. “Sam?”

Sam was gone.

“Help! Help!” A muffled sound was coming from
The Book
. I opened it up. Thereâon the
same page as Li Shiminâwas Sam.

“What happened? Where am I?” shrunken Sam cried. “Get me out of here.” I couldn't believe itâSam was trapped in
The Book
.