Worthy of Redemption (6 page)

*
~Kyle~*

I stood at the elevator, punching the down arrow repeatedly, but the cab co
ntinued on its descent to the Lobby. Another elevator arrived, but I knew by the time I got to the first floor, Lily
would be gone. I took the elevator to the tenth floor instead and stormed into Mayson’s office without knocking.

She looked surprised by my arrival, but her expression was quickly replaced by one of annoyance.

“My Grace,” she started in a phony English accent. “What brings you to these lower parts of the kingdom?”

“Did you hire Emmy’s old barmaid as my assistant and office manager?” I demanded to know.

She narrowed her eyes. “I only did that not even ten minutes ago. How do you know about that already?” She frowned and her shoulders slumped some. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Oh, I
am
surprised,” I said, trying to rein in my anger. “I ran into her on the elevator. You do realize that I need more than a barmaid to help me run my department, Mayson. If this is some effort to make me look foolish…”

“Why would I do that?” she snorted. “You need to simmer down, get your panties out of a twist, Sterling.
Lily ran Emmy’s bar for years. Em was basically owner just in name, because Lily did everything, and she would have done much more if the place didn’t burn to the ground.”

“Running a little bar in suburbia isn’t the same as running a whole department in a co
mpany like Sterling Corporation.”

“It’s not that different,” Mayson said, waving a hand in dismissal. “She’s not just a dumb bartender, Kyle. Did you know she has a business degree?”

“Did she do it by mail order like she did her bartending certificate?” I snarled.

“No, you dick. She got her bartending skills all on her own, but she got her degree from University of Penn. Is that good enough for you?”

University of Penn wasn’t what I considered an
elite
school, but it was a very good one. I wasn’t very impressed, however. Lily squandered her degree on mixing drinks and getting groped for bad tips in a small bar for years.

“She has no experience in the corporate world,” I argued. “She will only slow me down.”

“I think she will surpass even Emmy’s abilities,” Mayson said, rooting through a stack of files.

I glared at her. Emmy was probably the best administrative assistant that e
ver walked through the doors of Sterling Corporation, and I wasn’t just saying that because she was mine. I had to steal her away from my father and then fight him and my other superiors to keep her. I felt that Mayson was only saying that to get under my skin, not because Lily could possibly actually compare to Emmy.

“Put her somewhere else,” I said through a clenched jaw.

“I’m not putting her somewhere else. You’re going to have to trust me on this one.”

“Why should I trust you?” I glared at her. “You hate me, you said so you
rself, and I don’t doubt that you know a few other things about me that can do nothing but intensify your hatred for me. How do I know you’re not setting me up to fail?”

She stopped rooting through her files and stared at me.

“I don’t like you, Kyle,” she said in a matter of fact tone. “And yes, I do know a few more things about you that I didn’t know before, but there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Lily is here by my recommendation. I’m not going to let her make me look bad. As for the other things, I’m not holding any of it against you.”

“Why not?” I asked, taken aback by her words.

“That’s my business. I happen to like my job, Kyle, and I kind of want this company to succeed. So, if that means having to make sure that the biggest dick in the building gets a winning team, then so be it. Now get out of my office. Some of us actually work around here.”

I left her office not because she commanded me to, but because there was nothing left to say. Mayson was delusional if she thought that a woman who was mixing drinks for a living not even a full month ago was going to excel in the demanding position she was just hired for, but Mayson was so adamant about her d
ecision, I chose to let it go.

When – not if, but when
Lily crashes and burns, Mayson can crash and burn with her.

I immediately felt bad for wishing bad things upon
Lily. She saved my life nearly two years ago and I owed her more than a job for that, especially after the way I shrugged her off. However, my personal feelings for her did not change her competency for the position, and once she realized that, I would gladly give her another position she was qualified for.

~~~

She opened the door wearing nothing but a shirt and a pair of SpongeBob panties. I grew hard at the site, thankful that my coat was long enough to cover the fact that she just turned me on.

As my hand closed over my wallet in my pocket, I claimed that I couldn't find it anywhere. It was the only excuse I had for showing up at her door, the only b
elievable one. I was desperate to see her again outside of work.

I stayed with her all weekend, through an enormous snow storm. I felt more alive in her presence than I had ever felt. I saw a side of her she didn't allow me to see at work. She was brutally honest, yet tender; and she was funny, witty, and sweet. She loved to laugh and had a smile that lit up everything around her. I loved holding her in my arms, smelling her hair, kis
sing her lips, and sliding inside of her. Everything about Emmy was heavenly, and I was solely responsible for her becoming a fallen, broken angel...

Darkness falls across my vision and I can't see anything, but I can
hear
myself beating her and I can
feel
my fists making contact with her soft body. Her terrified screams fill the air. I try to make myself stop, but I can't, and the beating and screaming and crying and the sound of glass breaking goes on...

I bolted upright in bed, Emmy's screams still echoing in my head. I fumbled for the light next to my bed, illuminating my bedroom and pulling myself out of the darkness of my nightmare. Though I was fully awake, the dream clung to me, and I knew that the dream was most likely a memory and not something my mind made up.

Shaken and
too afraid to close my eyes again, I rolled out of bed and changed into sweats. I pulled on a pair of socks and sneakers, grabbed my keys and left for an early morning run to clear my head.

The nightmares came off and on since I woke up in rehab that long ago New Year's Day. I knew that I had physically harmed Emmy, but I didn't know to what extent. My dad refused to tell me only because I wanted to know so badly. Had I told him it would pain me to know, he would have told me every solitary, gru
esome detail. Mayson all but confirmed she knew what happened, but if she wanted to tell me, she would have done so already, rubbing my face in my shame with a jovial laugh.

I was hoping that Emmy would enlighten me during her visit, but she was adamant that she didn't want to talk about it, but as she was leaving she had said that I put my hands on her and I broke her. It reminded me
of her mother’s words from so long ago: “She’s broken and I think you broke her.” It killed me inside to know that I had done that to her, and I knew it wasn’t just about the physical abuse. I dragged Em through the mud for so long, taking advantage of her love for me. Whether she knew all of the reasons behind my behavior or not did not excuse my actions.

I even felt some guilt towards Jess. In the beginning I believe she really did love me, and at one time I really loved her, too, but after a couple of years, I knew she wasn't for me. I would never be truly happy with her and I wasn't the man she wanted me to be. Pressure from my dad and her dad kept us together, and before I really could stop myself, I was obsessed with Emmy and making foolish mistakes. Even though Jess seems cold and heartless from the outside, I know fo
r a fact that I broke her heart too.

I’m an asshole of epic proportions, and a pussy. I devoured Emmy’s light with my darkness, made Jessyca into a bad person, failed to protect my mom, failed to save my brother, and folded under any pressure exerted by my dad. I d
eserved nothing less than to run into traffic and get run over by a SEPTA bus, but I didn’t even have the guts to do that. Instead, I ran back home as dawn was breaking and got ready for work.

The morning commute from South Jersey to Philadelphia is a nightmare. The roads are crowded, the buses are crowded, the trains are overstuffed tin cans and the sidewalks are ove
rflowing with cranky commuters. Stopping in any kind of shop that sells coffee is dangerous, and you risk losing a limb for an overpriced cup of Joe.

When I walked through the doors of Sterling Corp, I felt like I had slid into home base, but my reprieve was short, as the building also was starting to fill up. Coming from a night crawling lifestyle, adapting to this morning rush to work was going to take some patience, strong doses of caffeine, and possibly some chocolate. It was still early, and I had not even begun my work day yet, but I was already sa
livating thinking of a chocolate milkshake topped with whipped cream and cherries at the end of my day.

Focus on the milkshake, and everything will be okay. You can do this!

I found Mayson waiting with a dozen other people at the three elevators in the lobby. She smiled and waved me over.

“Good morning,” she said too brightly.

“Hi,” I said, making myself smile.

“I heard you had a run in with Kyle yesterday,” she said in an apologetic tone. “I’m so
rry.”

I shrugged. “No big deal. I can handle him.”

“Are you sure? Because I can put you in another department.”

“No way,” I said as we slowly moved forward towards an open cab. “That will only rei
nforce his pretentious idea that I’m incapable of doing this job.”

She nodded but looked doubtful.

“You don’t think I can do it either,” I said in a matter of fact tone.

“I think you can do it, but I also think you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Kyle is -” She didn’t finish her sentence, because the man in que
stion stepped onto the crowded elevator.

He glanced at me when he got on next to me, scowled at Mayson, and then turned his attention to his phone. On the way to the tenth floor, the elevator stopped at every floor, mostly to let people off, but sometimes someone would get on to head upstairs. When it stopped on our floor, I started to follow Mayson out of the cab when a strong hand wrapped around my for
earm. I stood on the threshold, staring back at Kyle in shock. I had almost decked him (again), my natural defense after being around sleazy men in bars for my entire adult life.

He blocked the elevator doors from closing with his foot as he glared at me.

“Where are you going?” he demanded.

Mayson grabbed a hold of my other arm, forcing my briefcase to slide down my shoulder and hang at my elbow.

“What are you doing, Sterling?” Mayson demanded. “She has to go to orientation and training this week. You know the routine.”

“No, that will not work,” he said, tugging me towards him. “I need her to start now. We’re already far behind.”

Mayson tugged me towards her. “If you’re already so far behind, then what’s another week or so?”

Kyle pulled. “You’ve already taken
too long to fill the position. A week or ‘so’ is detrimental.”

In the elevator, the other employees and one
FedEx guy watched Kyle and Mayson as if they were watching a tennis match and I was the ball. Only one person seemed irritated by the hold up, but she remained silent.

“Dude, are you crazy?” Mayson snorted, pulling harder on me. “Just yeste
rday you were crying about her lack of experience, but you won’t let her go to training? It’s as if you’re
setting her up to fail
.” She said the last part scathingly.

His eyes narrowed as he pulled much harder than Mayson. I was sure that my arms were stretching and by the end of this, my knuckles would be dragging on the ground when I walked.

“You were so confident about her abilities,” Kyle snarled. “You assured me that she knew what she was doing. If she is so capable of doing this position, then why does she need to spend a week and a half training?”

Mayson’s mouth popped open and her eyes widened. She yanked me, hard, and started to speak in a high pitched tone, but I interrupted.

“I am going to ask you both nicely to release me or this is going to get very ugly,” I said in a calm and steady voice.

Mayson looked guilty and immediately released my arm with a quick apol
ogy. Kyle, however, continued to hold on to me and glare. I looked down at his hand on my arm and back to his face.

“Let’s not repeat history,” I said in a low voice. “Don’t make me embarrass you in your own building.”

Any other guy would have released me, but Kyle was too proud to back down from a woman more than a foot smaller than him in front of eight other people. Ignoring the need to bring him down a peg, I spoke in a firm, but polite tone.

“I am going to spend the morning getting oriented with a few things,” I said to him. “I still need an ID badge, an email set up, and to sign a few things. When I am finished, I will join you on the twenty-first floor.”

“She can’t even go to the bathroom without an ID badge,” Mayson pointed out. The magnetic strips on all of the badges are what allowed the employees to move about the building without someone buzzing them in.

Kyle looked from her to me. For a moment, I thought he was going to su
ggest I pee myself or pee in a bucket in a corner, but he let out a sigh that I just barely noticed and released my arm.

“You have until eleven,” he said, backing into the elevator. “And you better come pr
epared.”

His cold brown eyes bored into me until the door closed, breaking the co
ntact.

“I told you,” Mayson said as we walked down the corridor. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

You’d be surprised what I know…

~~~

At ten minutes to eleven, I stepped back onto the elevator, toting a company issued laptop, a new ID badge with a hideous picture of me blinking, a stack of papers and booklets outlining company policies, procedures, perks and benefits and Kyle’s brunch that he ordered from the café around the corner and insisted that I deliver to him.

When I walked into the first room full of cubicles, I was surprised to find how understaffed it was. Did everyone go to lunch early? Was there a Sterling Corp cut day that I was yet unaware of? There were twenty cubicles in the room and only half as many people. Everyone looked busy and frazzled and barely looked at me as I passed by towards what I assumed was Kyle's office. I tapped lightly on the door and was rewarded with Kyle barking for me to come in. I pushed open the door and found him seated behind his desk staring intently at his computer screen.

I took a quick look around his spacious office. The entire wall behind him was made of glass, giving him a perfect view of the city and City Hall that he probably didn’t appreciate. There was the usual guest seating in front of his desk, but there was also a couch and big comfortable looking chair in a corner. There was also a small bar and mini fridge, and a small closet. There was another door that I assumed was a bathroom or maybe it lead to a dungeon or a BDSM room. It could have led to Oz for all I knew.

“Please tell me that half of the cubicles in there are empty because half of your staff caught an early flu or they’re on vacation or out to lunch,” I said, placing his lunch on his desk. Without being asked, I put my armful of crap down on a chair in front of his desk and began unpacking the contents of his lunch bag.

“No, Miss Whitman,” he said, not looking up at me. “We are extremely understaffed, which is why I really could not afford to not have you here for the first few hours of the morning.”

“God forbid you would have had to go get your lunch yourself,” I remarked, folding the empty bag.

He glared at me. “Serving my needs is part of your position.”

An unbidden image of me
serving his needs
and my own burst into my head.

You’ve read way too many erotic romance novels, Lil
, I thought to myself as I gathered my crap out of the chair.

“Just point me to my cubicle so that I may begin serving your needs, my Liege,” I sighed.

He growled. Like really
growled
. “Your office is next to mine, on the right.”

“I have my own office?” I asked, cheering up a little bit. Maybe working for Kyle wouldn’t be
so
terrible.

“I did just say ‘your office’ didn’t I?” he asked with a cold stare.

I pulled open his office door and stood on the threshold. There was a closed door to my left and a closed door to my right.

“When you said on the right, did you mean my right or your right?” I asked.

I had never seen someone look as irritated as Kyle looked right then. He got up from his desk, marched across the room and firmly gripped my shoulders. He steered me to
my
right, threw open the door and steered me inside.

“Do you need assistance finding your desk also?” he asked blandly from b
ehind me.

I roll
ed my eyes, knowing he couldn’t see me. “I’m assuming it’s the giant block of wood over there.”

“You have ten minutes to get yourself situated,” he said and then left me alone in my small, but fashionable and functional office.

I wasn’t into the whole corporate thing, but even I was excited about having my own office, with a smaller but no less spectacular view of the city. I didn’t have a bathroom and a couch in my office like Kyle did, but I had seating for visitors, a place to hang my coat, a small fridge and a big comfy chair at my desk. I had more amenities here than I did in my current living situation. I took one good look out of my window, completely appreciating the view and then quickly got myself “situated” before heading back to Kyle’s office with a pen and notebook in hand.

His lunch was barely touched and he was back on the damn computer. I eyed the soup and salad, thinking about my own lunch. I assumed that I’d be able to go soon, but then again, I was just a servant and probably had to eat the scraps of Kyle’s lunch out of the trashcan instead of enjoying a real lunch.

“There is something we need to quickly discuss and get out of the way,” he finally said after a few minutes. I looked away from his lunch and found him leaning back in his chair, watching me.

“The five hundred pound gorilla in the room?” I asked, meeting his gaze straight on.

“Yes,” he nodded slowly. “The five hundred pound gorilla in the room.”

I took a long deep breath and stared at a pen lying on Kyle’s desk as I spoke. “Listen, I’d rather not discuss it if you don’t mind. Honestly, it hurt a little more than it should have and I’ve had so much pain over the past two years. I’m really just trying to move on with my life, which means I have to focus on the present and the future and not the past. I promise I won’t let my feelings for you interfere with my work here.”

His brow creased in confusion. “You still have feelings for me? After all of this time and the way I allowed you to leave?”

“I didn’t say they were good feelings,” I said quickly. “Regardless of my feelings about you personally, I’m here to work.”

Kyle leaned back in his chair with a loud sigh as his eyes studied me. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, especially considering what you did for me.”

I looked at him in surprise. Was that something like an apology?

“I didn’t do anything for you that you didn’t deserve,” I breathed. “Please, can we just get to work?”

After a moment of hesitation, he nodded. He seemed to recover from his moment of sensitivity and said “I’m still not convinced that this is the right pos
ition for you.”

“Well, why don’t you put me to the challenge? When I prove you wrong, I expect a b
onus.”

“What if I’m right?” he challenged. “What do I get if
you
are wrong?”

“A file clerk,” I said dryly.

My stomach chose that moment to rumble in the quiet room. I didn’t give any indication that my stomach had just made that crazy noise. I looked at him, pen poised to write while he stared blankly at me. After a half a minute of this, Kyle raised an eyebrow and a few seconds later pushed his salad across the table.