Worth the Weight (33 page)

The subject of a future together.

It would take some doing. He couldn’t leave the farm right now, so she would have to relocate. He felt shitty asking her to do that, but he knew she loved this area, could see it whenever they were near the lake. She couldn’t take her eyes away from the calming water. Besides, that was probably the least of the sacrifices he’d be asking her to make to have a future together. There was Annie and Stevie. Liz and Stevie were tight, but it was still touch and go with Annie.
Finn
knew that most of that was Annie’s fear about the upcoming surgery, so that would soon come to an end. Gran
already
loved Liz, and that feeling seemed mutual, so he didn’t really see a problem there.

Finn
only knew he couldn’t let her get away again. It had been the biggest mistake he’d made in his life, but in a way he couldn’t regret it. If he h
adn’t broken things off with her
, he would never have hooked up with Dana, and there’d be no Stevie and Annie. Yeah, things had been pretty shitty with Dana and with Annie’s illness, but
Finn
became paralyzed with fear at the
thought of life without his two children.

Just like he’d come to feel about life without Liz.

She’
d done the one thing that
Finn
thought impossible
–
restored
his
sense of trust.

God, she was such a
genuinely
good person. To come into his life and give so much, without asking for anything in return. Well, technically she did ask for something...a summer fling. But to
his
way of thinking, that wasn’t asking anything of him, it was his pleasure. He knew he didn’t deserve her, but this time he wouldn’t let that stop him. He’d live his life trying to earn her love.

He
was sure Liz
loved him, just as he knew he’
d always loved her. She was probably just a little gun shy. That was likely for a couple of reasons. First, he’d burned her before. Sure it was a long time ago, and she said she had forgiven him, but he knew he’d hurt her. Second, she’d been through a lot the last few years losing weight.
Finn
didn’t know much about that kind of stuff, but figured something that dramatic would probably screw with your mind a little. Though Liz didn’t seem to harbor too many hang ups about that. Or if she did, she hid them well.

Still, he wished he could get her to see her body the way he saw it. Full. Delectable. Delicious. Sexy. Desired beyond belief. He’d been
thinking about
how to go about that when she found him in the barn.

“Just patching a hole,” he said. He tilted his head up to look at her but she was looking away, around the barn.
Finn
followed her gaze, saw her noticing the different patches not only in this stall, but all around this far end of the barn. The holes were mostly patched, but the patching was all new, and in various degrees of drying. Some had been patched as recently as yesterday or the day before, and a few were drier, indicating they had been done longer ago. All were relatively newly patched.

He finished the patch and rose to his feet, putting his tools away, even though another hole was only a few feet away from where he worked.

“Why aren’t you going to do that one?” she asked, pointing to another hole with her tan leg, her sexy toes poking from her sandals.

“Another time,” he said, pushing past her and taking the tools to the makeshift workbench along the far side of the barn.

“Don’t rush on my account, I’m in no hurry, in fact, I’ll help if you want.” She moved to his side, reaching for his hammer.

Finn
chuckled. “No, it’s okay. I just wanted to do the one tonight. The others will wait till another time.” He intercepted her arm that reached for the hammer and placed it on his chest instead. “I can give you another job, though, if you’re so interested in working with my tools,” he said with a grin.

“Ha. What are you, in eighth grade? That sounds like something Stevie and his buds would say,” she said, but she wasn’t angry. Her hand smoothed up and down his chest,
seeming to like
what she felt.

Finn
damn sure liked what
he
felt. He couldn’t believe he was getting aroused again so soon. It was only a few hours ago that he’d tumbled Liz in the hay like the proverbial farmer’s daughter. He was thirty-eight years old but his body responded to Liz like he was a randy teenager. “Let’s get out of here. I don’t think you want to pick all that hay out of your hair again.”

She stepped into him, curling her arms around his neck, placing her face on his chest. “I asked Clea to sleep in the house tonight. I want you to spend the night with me, is that okay?”

Okay? Hell yes it was okay. He hadn’t been able to sleep with Liz in his arms since that first night. He hated slinking away from her bed in the middle of night. Like she was some
hook-up
he couldn’t wait to get away from. Nothing was further from the truth.

“Hell yes, it’s okay.
Let me go check on the kids,
then let’s go.” He started to move, but she held him fast.

“
Finn
? Why are all these holes patched so weirdly, like they were done at different times, but all recently?” Her eyes scanned his handiwork.

Damn. How much to tell her? “That’s exactly why. They were patched at different times. I finally got around to starting the repairs a few weeks ago.” Again, he tried to walk away. This time she let him go, standing firm. He took a couple of steps before he realized he’d lost her. Turning, he saw she wasn’t satisfied with his answer.

“Why not just patch them all at once? Like now, we could have them all done in no time.”

“No, that’s not how I’m doing it,” he said firmly. She seemed to bristle at his tone and he figured he’d have to explain it all. Damn, how to do this and not sound like a total sap?

He took a deep breath and stepped back, half sitting, half leaning against a sawhorse. “Do you remember asking me that night at the beach when I told you about Dana and Annie why I wasn’t more furious?”

She nodded, her glossy black hair bobbing with her. “Yes. You said I should have seen you then, that you were furious. And you had the holes…” her voice slowed as the situation was dawning on her, “in the barn to prove it.” She waved her hands around the back area. “So this is the outcome of your frustration?” At his nod, she asked, “Okay. But why start patching them now? And why one at a time?”

His shoulders sagged, just a little.
Shit. Just tell her, maybe it won’t sound as pussy-whipped out loud.

“I came in here the morning I got back from your place. That first night we were together. It was still pretty early, so instead of going into the house, I came out here first. I walked back here to get something and saw that hole.” He pointed to the largest hole, now patched and painted. “I’m not sure why, probably having just been with you. How good you are, Liz. How sweet. I don’t know, but I felt like I needed to get rid of that hole, so I patched it. I was just about to do the next one when I heard Stevie up and in the yard, so I went to the house.”

She stood staring at him. He knew she was probably embarrassed at his words, Liz just couldn't handle a compliment. He went on, determined to see this thing through.

“Anyway, I only patched the one. Then after we made love the next time I came out and patched another one. Again, I  planned on patching them all, but I stopped after the one.”

She started looking around, seemingly counting the patched holes and the ones still to patch, realizing the amount of fury that had gone through him all those years ago by the sheer volume of damage. And also the amount of time they had spent in bed by the number of patches.

“It kind of became a thing. Each time we got together I’d come out and patch another hole.” He had her attention again. “This is going to sound corny as hell, Liz, but it was like each time we made love it wiped out one more bad thing that had happened in my life. The patching seemed to be
a
way to acknowledge that.”

Had he still owned his horses, he was certain he’d be able to hear their hearts beating, the barn had gotten so quiet.

His eyes never left hers. God, he was so in love with her. She was staring straight at him, his beautiful Liz, scared to death of the things he was saying, but so desperately wanting to hear
them. He could do that for her, at least. It was hard, and not in his nature, but he could let her know how special she was, how beautiful. That she wasn’t just loved because she had always been “the nice one”, but because of the wonderful, generous, loving person she had become.

Damn. He could see she didn’t know what to say. He shouldn’t have told her about the holes. He hadn’t intended to, but Liz brought out an honesty and integrity in him he’d been sure he’d left behind in the divorce lawyer’s office. The day he’d sold his daughter’s future for his and his children’s freedom.

He rose from the sawhorse, started to say something, but her tender look stilled him. She moved to him, took his hand and led him to the front of the barn to the door. “Come home with me,” she whispered. He followed, saying nothing.

Finn
led her into her bedroom at her parents’ place, shut the door and turned on the light switch. Liz automatically moved to turn it off and
he
gently grasp
ed her hand. “Not this time
. Tonight, we do things my way.” He could sense her trepidation, but he pushed it aside. He knew his intentions, he wasn’t going to hurt her. Not if she trusted in him like he trusted her.

She started to move toward the bed, but he held her firm where they were. They stood in front of the closed bedroom door, which held a full-length mirror. He turned her to face the mirror, standing behind her, his hands firmly on her shoulders.

“Tell me what you see
,” he whispered into her ear, brushing her hair aside to bare her neck. His breath sent a chill through her and
Finn
thrilled to know he could make her body respond to him so easily.

She seemed to sense what he was trying to do, what he was
going
to do, and her body tensed. Then she relaxed and shot back with a jaunty, “I see Clea’s fabulous cooking right here,” she placed a hand on her right hip, “and here,” her left hand on her behind. Her tone was light, teasing, but
Finn
saw no amusement in her hazel eyes.

This was going to be harder than he thought. Damn. He didn’t let her joking distract him. “I’ll tell you what I see, Liz. I see a very beautiful woman.”

A nervous smile graced her beautiful mouth. “
Finn
, you don’t need to do this. To sweet-talk me. I’m
a sure thing
.” She nudged her elbow lightly into his gut, to emphasize her joke. She started to move away from him, but he clamped a hand around her waist to keep her still.

“Don’t, Liz. Don’t joke this away. I know it’s hard for you to take a compliment, babe, so just be quiet and listen. Okay?” He wasn’t really asking her permission, but he stared at her reflection until she met his eyes and slowly nodded.

His fingers reached around her, through her arms which hung limply at her sides, to begin unbuttoning her blouse. It was a cotton
, short-
sleeve blouse and was easily disposed of, thrown across a nearby chair. The tan of her chest and arms seemed even deeper compared to the pale cream of her tummy and the tops of her breasts that peeked above her bra.

He slid his hands down her sides, feeling a soft quake from her. He undid the button and zipper to her shorts. He felt her squirm, but he held her hips in place as he pushed the shorts down to the floor. He directed her to step out of them, and when she did, he kicked them to the side.

Her panties and bra were of a soft, robin’s egg blue. Satiny innocence that demanded his attention. “So pretty,” he whispered, letting his tongue glide ag
ainst her neck. He was rewarded
by a soft sigh as she leaned back against his chest.

Needing to feel her hot skin against his, he eased her away from him only long enough to
peel off his tee shirt and jeans. He then pulled her back
to him
, he only in boxers and she in bra and panties. Her panties were high on her waist covering way too much in
Finn
’s opinion, but they were cut high on her leg, giving him a welcome view of her thighs. They had both discarded their footwear at the front door.

He ran his hands up her arms, not knowing if the tingling began with him and he passed it on to her, or the other way around. It didn’t matter. What mattered was the effect they had on each other. Had always had on each other. Would have on each other forever
. He’
d waited for it to ease, to lighten. But the fire for Liz only grew more intense.

He reached to her back, to undo the clasp of her bra. Her hands came up, covering herself just as he undid the hooks and began to brush the straps from her shoulders.