Worth the Wait (Sexy Nerd Boys #1) (10 page)

Ethan

“Why are you smiling like such a psycho?” Lee asks, eyeing me suspiciously over her coffee.  

“I’m happy, you should try it some time,” I joke. She gives me the finger and a smile.

“I meant what’s making you so happy? Did you change your mind about the celibate lifestyle?”

“You are hilarious dear sister. And no, I didn’t get laid if that’s the question.”

As if on cue Abby stumbles out of her bedroom. She’s definitely not a morning person. Abby pauses as our eyes meet and something passes between us. It’s all I can do not to get up from the table and kiss her. I need to get a grip. For all I know she isn’t interested in a round two.

My dick hardens at the sudden memory of my fingers inside of her last night. The way her face looked when she came, screaming my name. But, fuck, it’s so much more than that. She’d clearly freaked out as soon as the idea occurred to her to ‘repay the favor’, and it made me want to find a way to bring that fuckhead ex of hers back to life just so that I could murder him all over again. It’s not because I was pissed that I wasn’t getting a blow job, fuck that, I don’t care if Abby never does anything for me in return. I just can’t stand to see that terrified look in her eyes ever again.

I’ve never felt this way about a woman. In all honesty, I thought that it was complete bullshit made up by Hollywood and romance writers that anyone
could
feel this way. I am so completely fucked, and I don’t even care.

“Somehow I find that hard to believe,” Lee mutters under her breath.

I shoot her a warning look. I get up from the table to join Red in the kitchen. We stare at each other again for several seconds, both waiting for the other to say something.

“Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to go see the new X-men with me tonight?” The words hang in the air between us as Abby continues to stare at me.

It’s clear in her eyes that she’s having an internal struggle.

“We’re friends right? I mean, we’ve been friends for a little while now, and I thought that doing nerdy things together was kind of our thing. This isn’t a date,” I assure her.

I can’t deny part of me wants this to be a date. She’s skittish, I remind myself. Don’t push too hard or she’ll bolt.

              “Sure, you can pick me up from my last class if you want.”

I nod and leave her to make her coffee, I don’t want to press my luck.

Abby

              I settle into my usual seat in my microbiology class. I glance at the clock. I’m early. I’d rushed to leave the house this morning feeling far too awkward there with Ethan and Lee. Ugh, I’m such a chicken shit. Ethan was totally normal this morning, nothing weird, but I still can’t seem to relax. He’s made it clear that things don’t need to be awkward. Although, he hasn’t made it clear where we stand. Maybe that’s my fault though, too. I have no idea where I even want to stand. Well, that’s not true, I know where I
want
to stand. I also know where things
should
stand. I’m too messed up to be in a relationship. It’s not worth it.

              A blonde girl and her friend enter the classroom and sit behind me. I’ve sat in front of them all semester and haven’t turned around to bother to learn their names. They always have such shallow conversations there doesn’t seem to be much of a point in doing so.

              “So after three months of his pathetic fumbling in bed I decided to call it off. I swear that boy couldn’t find my g-spot if I had a flashing sign installed pointing to it,” the blonde says.

              “If I had a nickel,” Her friend quips. “Oh, you know if you’re just looking to have the itch scratched there’s a guy you should meet. He’s unbelievably hot and word around campus is that he
always
gets the job done.”

              “What’s the catch?” Blondie asks.

              “He only does hook-ups. He won’t exchange numbers and he doesn’t talk much. Well, except for dirty talk,” The friend explains.

My stomach drops. Somehow I just know they’re talking about Ethan.

              “So one mind blowing orgasm and he sends you out the door?”

              “Oh no, he’ll go all night. I hooked up with him my freshman year and I swear I didn’t walk right for a week. He says he only does ‘one time things’ but I hooked up with him a few times. Never once was I disappointed. Then after a few times he started blowing me off. I took a hint. He ruined me for other men though, I swear,” She giggles.

I want to turn around and punch her in the face. Suddenly I feel self-conscious about our sort of hook up last night. Not like anyone knows about it, thankfully. Not that I’m ashamed of hooking up with Ethan. Gah this is exhausting. I just don’t want to be one of these stupid girls. In fact, I think I actually kind of feel bad for him.

All these girls want from him is to get off. They don’t care that he’s interested in philosophy, or he’s a huge nerd, or he loves mac and cheese. All they want is his dick.

My stomach rolls and I think I might actually vomit. I’m just as bad as they are. All I wanted from him was to get off. Or, maybe I’m just an idiot. Maybe Ethan’s happy with all these girls just spreading their legs for him with no questions asked. Before I can contemplate this any longer the professor enters the room and begins his lecture on the gluconeogenesis cycle.

              Ethan’s waiting in his beat up Honda outside my human sexuality class at the end of the day. I try to hide my smile. It’s actually really nice to have someone waiting for me.

              “Hey Red, how was your day?” He asks as I slide into the warm car.

              “It was a day,” I say with a shrug.

              “Alright there Socrates,” He laughs and I can’t help but smile.

I look over at his unshaven face and messy hair. My mind travels to the sensual, firm feel of his lips against mine last night.

              “Can I ask you about something?” I finally ask.

“Of course Red, what’s on your mind?” He asks as he pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards the movie theater.

A million questions ping pong in my head. ‘What are you feeling about last night?’, ‘When can we do that again?’, ‘Now that you’ve given me my first orgasm are you happy to move on to other women again?’

“Come on Red, you’re killing me with your silence.” He teases but the tension is clear in his eyes.

“Do you think anyone would even think Benedict Cumberbatch is so hot if he wasn’t such a good Sherlock?”  

Ethan blinks several times clearly trying to decide if he’s going to call me out and force me to ask one of the real questions on my mind.

“Probably not, he’s kind of a strange looking dude.”

I nod and shift awkwardly in my seat. Maybe this is why people don’t mess around with friends because then the sexual tension never goes away. I sigh and steal a glance at him. He looks like he wants to say something but is having an internal debate. Welcome to the club my friend.

“So...does the one night stand thing only count once we’ve had sex or was last night it?” I finally blurt.

Ethan smiles and relief is evident in his blue eyes.

“First of all, last night definitely did not count. And second, the one night only thing isn’t really a hard and fast rule. And third, even if it was a strict rule, I find myself breaking my rules for you Red. I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

“I know that the ‘one night rule’ isn’t set in stone, I overheard some girls talking today.” I try to ignore the jealousy snaking through me. Maybe the kissing thing wasn’t a hard and fast rule either.

“Red, listen,” Ethan pulls into a parking spot at the movie theater and turns to face me. “The no kissing rule was the only strict rule I had and I bulldozed right through that one for you.”              

It’s like he can read my mind, that’s just not fair.

“But why?” I finally ask the question that’s been bothering me since the first kiss. “Why me?”

“I like you Red, you aren’t like any other woman I’ve ever met. I feel like I can be myself around you. And, I hope to hell that last night wasn’t a one-time thing for us. I’m yours for as long as you want me sweetheart,” His face is full of vulnerability.

My heart stutters as I try to come up with a response.
‘You’re a worthless piece of shit, don’t ever forget that’
my dad’s voice echoes in my mind.

“You’ll change your mind,” I argue quietly. Ethan opens his mouth to protest but I put a hand over it. “Let's just keep things casual. We’re friends, and when the urge strikes us we have hook up. That’s not complicated, it doesn’t need to be. No labels, no commitments.”

Ethan’s eyes flash with dissent, clearly contemplating whether or not he should speak his mind. Finally, he nods his head once and I remove my hand from covering his mouth.

Ethan

I’m not sure if I’m happy or offended by the arrangement she’s suggested. I’m happy that Abby is willing to give
something
a chance, I guess. Maybe this will be a stepping stone. We hadn’t exactly discussed any details so I’m particularly glad Abby isn’t the kind of girl who gets around. I don’t want her with anyone else. She was very explicit about ‘no labels’ and ‘keep it casual’ so I doubt a ‘please don’t fuck anyone else’ conversation would have gone well.

I pass Red the popcorn and push the armrest between us up so I can put my arm around her. She’s tense for several seconds, probably trying to decide if my arm around her implies that this is a date. We snuggle on the couch at home, what’s the fucking difference? I take a deep breath. I don’t want to get annoyed, I need to give her time. She’ll come around eventually.

Abby

              “That movie was good, thanks for inviting me,” I yawn and lay down on the couch as soon as we get back to my apartment. Ethan lifts my feet and sits down so that my feet are in his lap.

              “I’m glad to finally have someone to go to all the nerdy shit with me,” He says.

Ethan starts to rub my feet and I moan with contentment.

              “Are you trying to seduce me?” I ask jokingly.

              “Why? Is it working?”

              “Oh yeah.”

              He chuckles and continues to massage my feet. I close my eyes and enjoy his strong hands on me. After he’s done with my feet his hands move up and begin massaging my calves. I could die of relaxation.

              “You look tired Red, you want to go to bed?” Ethan asks and I laugh again.

              “Wow that was smooth.”

              “I thought so,” Ethan agrees with a chuckle before grabbing me around the middle and hoisting me over his shoulder.

              “Where are we going?” I giggle and squirm against him.

              “To. Bed.” Ethan says each word individually like I should be on the special bus.

I don’t protest, I just enjoy the view of his sculpted ass as he carries me over his shoulder to my bedroom.

              He lays me gently on the bed and stares down at me hesitantly. Like he’s waiting for me to say something or make the first move. I reach up and run my fingers through his dark hair and place a soft kiss against his lips. Uncertainty wraps itself around my brain. I’ve never had sex because I’ve wanted to before. But boy do I want to right now with Ethan.

Ethan

Abby pulls away to yank her shirt over her head. My gaze travels over her body as she splays herself on the bed before me. Fuck, she is amazing. My eyes fall on a small tattoo on the left side of her rib cage just below her breasts. I lean closer to read the delicate writing
.
‘I create myself
’
I run a thumb along the words. What would it take for her to tell me what it means? She looks at me with concern, like she’s waiting for me to pass judgment on the tattoo.

              “It’s sexy,” I say finally.

She relaxes at my words.

              “My ex, said that girls shouldn’t have tattoos,” She confesses anxiously.

              “Was he under the impression you were dating in the 1920’s?”

I can’t picture Red with a guy like that. I’m surprised she didn’t castrate him. She laughs and pulls me back down into another kiss.

Abby

              Ethan’s tongue explores my mouth languidly, like he has all of the time in the world to spend here with me. A warmness spreads through my chest at the tenderness of his lips against mine. I hadn’t expected a guy like Ethan to be so gentle. It makes the contrast to Justin even more pronounced. I don’t know why I’d been nervous for Ethan to see my tattoo. Who cares if he doesn’t like it? That was the whole point of it in the first place.

             
“I’m thinking about getting a tattoo,” I told Justin excitedly. I don’t know why I thought he would be turned on by the idea.

              “Are you stupid?” He asked cruelly.

              I winced at his words.

              “Your looks are the only thing you have going for you, why the fuck would you want to fuck that up with some ink that’ll just make you look like a cheap hooker?”

              “That’s not true, I’m smart.” I don’t know why I bothered to defend myself. Stupid move. He backhanded me across the face. My face stung but I tried not to let it show.

              “If you’re so smart then why don’t you ever know when to shut up? There’s only one thing a woman's open mouth is good for.”

              There was an evil glint in his eye as he unzipped his pants. I cringed, I knew what was coming next.

Ethan

“Stop,” She gasps out suddenly.

I pull back quickly and wait for her to say more. She just lays there staring at me for a few beats, fear shinning in her green eyes.

              “Did I do something wrong?” I ask cautiously.

She bites her lip and gazes up at me nervously. She’s breathing rapidly and her skin looks suddenly pale. My heart stops and all I want to do is pull her into my arms and hold her until she feels safe and happy.

              “No, I just got nervous that you might not stop if I wanted you to,” She admits.

My heart stops for a fraction of a second and I feel like a complete dick. I’ve done a lot of shitty things to women in my life but never did I think any of them felt like I was forcing them to do anything.

              “Abby,” I whisper her name and back up a little, afraid to touch her in a way that she may not want. “Did I give you some reason to think I would force you to do anything?”

              “No, Ethan, it’s not you,” She assures me quickly.

She bites her lip again and I suddenly wonder about the ‘bad’ relationship she alluded to before. She already told me that he forced her to do some things. But, did he take it all the way? A sick feeling settles in my stomach because the truth is written all over her beautiful face.

              “I’ve actually never wanted to have sex before, it’s never been my choice,” She confirms my fear.

              “He raped you?” I rasp out quietly, afraid of the anger coursing through me.

How could someone hurt her?

              “No,” She snaps defensively.

Now I’m fucking confused.

“I mean, maybe...I guess...I don’t know it wasn’t something that I wanted, but I also didn’t always say ‘no’.” She fumbles over an explanation.  

              “But sometimes you said ‘no’?” I try to clarify.

              “The first time I said ‘no’. I begged him to stop. He didn’t stop. Every time after that I knew he wouldn’t stop even if I asked so I just kind of closed my eyes and waited for him to finish. It’s my fault for staying with him. I could’ve broken up with him but I didn’t. I deserved it.”

              “I’m sorry to tell you sweetheart, but that’s rape,” I inform her cautiously.

Her gaze is unfocused as she looks past me. I can tell that she’s somewhere else in her mind.

“And, as for it being your fault, that is absolute bullshit. I don’t give a fuck if he’s your boyfriend, husband, next door neighbor, or fucking God himself no one has a right to touch you if you don’t want it.”

“I want to have sex with you,” She finally says.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I mean it. Even if you change your mind right in the middle of it you can tell me and I’ll stop,” I promise her as I take her face between my hands.

My heart aches with a need to keep her safe and make her feel only good things. I hate that he forced himself on her. I hate that she ever felt helpless.

“You call the shots here. Got it Red?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” She says playfully.

I lower my mouth to hers again. I run my tongue along hers more tentatively this time, afraid to push too far or make her feel uncomfortable. She grabs the back of my head and pulls me against her mouth firmly. Her lips are hungry and commanding. She doesn’t seem to be second guessing herself anymore. I finally return to my exploration of her body as I lick and nip my way down her neck. She moans against my mouth and writhes under me.

As I reach her soaked folds I can’t keep myself from devouring her. I thrust my tongue inside of her, trying to taste every inch. She moans and grinds against my mouth. That is so fucking hot. Every little moan she lets out goes straight to my dick. I slip two fingers inside of her. My memory didn’t even do it justice. She’s so unbelievably tight and wet I can hardly think straight. I suck her clit between my teeth gently and she arches her back off of the bed. I’m going to make her come and then, if she’s not ready for anything else, I’ll just hold her until she falls asleep. I won’t push her. No matter how many times I’ll have to jerk off after this.

“Ethan, that feels amazing,” She gasps, tangling her fingers in my hair to keep my in place. Ha, yeah like I was going to fucking go somewhere. I’ve got a front row seat to the only show I want to see right now. I curve my fingers slightly so that I’m hitting her g-spot and stroke her until she's screaming my name and clenching around my fingers.

"That's my girl,” I say coaxing every last moment from her. I take my fingers out and lick them off. I could drown in the taste of her.

“Ethan, please don’t stop yet. I want to feel you inside of me.”

My cock throbs as she begs. Like she should ever have to beg. If anything I should be begging her for the right to touch her magnificent body.

“Are you absolutely sure, Red?” I ask skeptically.

“Yes,” She nods frantically, yanking my shirt over my head.

“We don’t have to though. You don’t owe me anything,” I reiterate.

“Ethan, please. I want this,” Her eyes meet mine and she holds my gaze, making sure that I see the certainty in her emerald eyes.

“If you change your mind you tell me right away,” I instruct her sternly before I reach into my pocket for a condom.

I pull out the package and unzip my pants. Her eyes widen as she sees my cock, begging to be inside of her.

“Can I put it on you?” She asks with a mixture of innocence and seductiveness. It’s perfect, as always.

I hand her the package and lay down on the bed next to her. She runs a hand over my chest and down my stomach tortuously. As she reaches my cock she wraps her fingers around it cautiously, looking up at me as though she wants instructions.

“Sweetheart, if you plan to have me inside of you then you shouldn’t tease me too long,” I moan as she slowly starts to stroke me with a steady, firm rhythm. Finally, she tears the condom open with her teeth and slowly rolls it on. And, then she looks to me again like she’s waiting for instructions.

“Do you want to be on top?” I offer.

“No, I trust you.”

Her words mean more to me than she could possibly know. How can she trust any man after what she’s been through?

I grab her around her waist and flip her onto her back. I position myself between her legs just so I can feel her wetness against my tip.

“Are you sure?” I ask once more, marveling at my self-control.

“Yes,” She gasps mercifully.

I slowly start to push inside of her, feeling her expand with every inch. I know it’s been a long time for her, I don’t want to hurt her. I want everything about this to be perfect for her. I move inch after torturous inch until I’m all of the way inside of her. She is so fucking wet and tight I can’t help but groan with pleasure as I feel her tense around me slightly.

“Are you okay?” I manage to ask, searching her face for any sign that she isn’t enjoying this.

“Yes,” She moans as she arches her hips up to meet me.

It takes all of my self-control to hold still inside of her until I can be sure that she’s ok.

“Ethan,” She gasps, wrapping a leg around my waist and thrusting onto my cock. “Please.”

Her plea snaps my self-control and I begin to pound into her. She meets every thrust enthusiastically. Abby bites her lip and moans my name over and over again. She threads her fingers into my hair and pulls my lips down to meet hers. My god this girl is a fucking goddess. I want to spend every second of the rest of my life worshipping her. That thought nearly stops me in my tracks. She writhes underneath me as I slow my pace, distracted momentarily by my thoughts.

“Please, Ethan,” She cries out again.

I move my hand between us and use my thumb to stroke her sensitive nub as I drive my cock inside of her over and over. I want to claim her as my own. Forever.

“You are so fucking perfect,” I whisper bringing her lips back to mine.

I feel her tighten around me, her orgasm impending. I angle her hips so that I can get deeper inside of her, thrusting harder. She starts to tremble and the most beautiful blush spreads over her skin as she cries out in ecstasy. Pleasure sparks in every nerve ending and then shoots through me as I pound my own release into her.

Afterwards we collapse in a sweaty panting mess.

“That was...wow,” She gasps out, trying to catch her breath.

“I agree,” I kiss her forehead gently and then pull her towards me.

A horrible thought occurs to me that she may not want me to stay. I’ve never wanted to stay with a woman after sex before. In fact, usually I’m out of there before she knows what happened. But, I want to stay. Actually, I think I’m going to be fucking devastated if Abby tells me to leave.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep?” She asks cautiously.

I feel her nestle close and lay her head against my chest. My heart beats out a stuttered rhythm at her proximity.

“I’ll stay all night if you want me to,” I assure her.