Worth Keeping (26 page)

“And of course, you only let Nick do that,” Justin said slyly as he wiped a dab of sauce off Daniel’s mouth with his finger then licked it slowly with an underhand glance at the man he’d just cleaned.

Daniel’s eyes glazed over as he watched Justin’s digit going slowly in and out of his mouth. Nick was transfixed too. The man was definitely extremely sexy.

Owen punched him hard on the arm. “Oi. Stop perving at Justin.” He frowned at Justin. “You need to stop playing games on every red-blooded male in eye shot. Isn’t Dan enough for you?”

Justin laughed and took another pull of his beer. “But it’s such fun.” His eyes gleamed. “It’s a social experiment. How many men can I get hard in the course of an evening?” He cocked an eyebrow at Nick. “Sorry. Force of habit. For my master’s, I did this project to see how gay men reacted to certain gestures, words and actions, trying to disprove some of the stereotypes. I found even straight men got turned on, and that caused a few issues for me. I got beat up quite a bit when they realised what had happened down below.” He smiled wryly and Nick could see the serious side underneath the flamboyant exterior. “It’s how Dan and I met.”

Daniel leaned forward. “I found some fellows kicking the shit out of him. He was like a bloody spitting cat, all hands and feet, giving as good as he got, but there were more of them.” He grinned at Justin in affection.

Justin looked indignant. “I was doing okay, thank you very much. I’d just managed to grab the balls of one of them, and he looked like he was going to have a coronary.” He grinned wickedly. “I think the guy probably spoke a few octaves higher by the time I’d finished with him.” He reached out and touched Daniel’s hand. Daniel curled his fingers around his possessively. “Then this big shaggy bear came out of nowhere and started beating the shit out of them all. He was like a damned Viking, all fierceness and glowering majesty.”

Nick heard the hero worship in Justin’s voice and grinned. “He’s a good man to have with you in a fight,” he acknowledged. “He and I once got into one after leaving a bar in Norwich. Between us we managed to give the bastards a run for their money.” He leaned forward, a smile on his face as he remembered the night some guys had picked on them. Not because they were gay, but because Nick had told one of them to fuck off when they started harassing some young girl who was extremely uncomfortable at their comments and actions. Mock wanking actions in a woman’s or man’s direction had never seemed all that mature to Nick. The men had been drunk and cocky, and he’d taken a real dislike to them.

Owen raised an eyebrow. “The two of you in a bar fight? I’d like to have seen that.”

Justin gave a husky laugh. “It gives you a boner beyond redemption, my friend. All that testosterone and maleness being flung all around. I had to take Dan here home and fuck the shit of him. It was the least I could do.”

There was stunned silence. Nick felt a little faint at the image Justin had conjured up of his lithe frame pounding in and out of Daniel. Despite his own sexual inhibitions, it was enough to make his cock rise, and from the look on his face, Owen felt the same.

Nick was surprised at his own reaction. He wondered vaguely what the hell that was all about. Yet there had been warning signs that he was starting to think about actually penetrating another man. Recently the thought of being inside Owen had started to take a place in his fantasies and it was definitely enticing. But Nick wasn’t sure he’d manage an erection and the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his lover so he’d held it at bay.

Daniel was beet red. “Christ, Justin, enough already,” he growled. “The guys don’t need to know everything.”

Justin shrugged. “Just making conversation.” He stood up and walked around the room, stopping to peer at a picture Nick had on the sideboard. “I recognise this man.” He pointed at a picture of Don and Nick standing side by side together, fishing rods in hand and a monster carp strung between them. “He’s an ex-copper, isn’t he? I think I met him during one of my recent consultations.” His face shadowed. “That case with the child porn sex ring.” He turned to look at Nick with a questioning face. “Is he your dad then?”

The room swam and Nick felt faint. “You met Don where?” Owen shifted closer to Nick, his body tensing. He reached out and laid a hand on Nick’s.

Justin nodded. “He was helping the police with that latest case in Nottingham. I was asked to do some profiling for it. It’s helping them catch the guy at the centre of it.” Justin’s tone wasn’t bragging; he was matter-of–fact, as if being asked to profile monsters was an everyday thing for him. “I can’t say too much about it, but this man”—Justin gestured at the photo”—he was asked to help out with some advice. Apparently he has some experience in these sorts of cases.”

Nick’s chest constricted and he gripped Owen’s hands tightly. Nick’s breath got shallower and the spots in front of his eyes danced even more frenetically. He vaguely heard Owen’s worried exclamation.

Memories of the recent TV coverage and the death of a child threatened to overwhelm Nick, along with his own living nightmares. He struggled to breathe as the room grew dark. As he fell into the spiral of blessed darkness, he embraced it thankfully.

A hot, silky poker stabbed him deep inside until he lost his breath. He cried out, hearing the grunts of the man behind as he fucked him, heard his mother’s shrill laughing somewhere in the house as she entertained another man in the way she knew best.

“Nick, come on back to me. Come on, you know you can do it.” Owen’s voice penetrated the deep recesses of Nick’s brain and he came to with a shuddering gasp as his hands grasped something warm and strong. He blinked and opened his eyes. He sat in the easy chair, Owen nestled on the floor between his legs, his face calm and reassuring. Nick gripped Owen’s arms tightly, his fingers digging tightly into firm flesh.

“There you go. You’re okay. You just had a panic attack and passed out for a minute but you’re back now.” Owen gently stroked Nick’s thighs and the constant contact made Nick feel better. He looked up to see Daniel gazing at him in panic and the thoughtful face of Justin standing beside him.

Justin moved forward and placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Shit, Nick, I’m so sorry. I had no idea what I was saying would provoke a response like this one. I feel like a damn idiot.” He looked helplessly at Daniel who was staring at Nick in sympathy.

Nick shook his head tiredly. His body felt as if it had been fed through a mangle. “Not your fault. You didn’t know anything. It’s my fault. I’m the one with the issues—”

Owen reached up and placed a hand over Nick’s mouth. He spoke fiercely. “Stop it. It’s not your fault. You just had a bit of a sensory overload, that’s all. It brought it all a bit too close to home again.” He reached up and stroked sweaty hair off Nick’s forehead. “Are you okay now?”

His voice was uncertain and Nick knew the real question was, “Are you going to cut yourself again?” While the urge to do so was there, buried deep within, it wasn’t something he felt like rushing out and doing. He felt glad for that small mercy. Nick reached out a hand and touched Owen’s lips. Owen kissed his fingers gently.

Nick nodded his head. “I’m okay. It was just a bit of a shock, that’s all. I didn’t know Don or Justin was consulting on that case.” He frowned. He did remember Don saying on his visit that he’d recently spoken to one of the men on the case but he’d assumed it was merely a casual conversation between two policemen and nothing more. He glanced up at Justin and Daniel who were looking a little awkward now. Daniel gestured to Justin.

“Maybe we should go, honey bear. Let these two have their own time—”

Nick moved, standing up on slightly shaking legs and shook his head. “No, don’t let me chase you away. I probably owe both of you a bit of an explanation.”

Justin moved forward, his hand touching Nick’s shoulder softly. “You owe us nothing, Nick. Not unless you really want to share anything.”

Despite his words, Nick saw the burning curiosity in his eyes. Justin was a psychology prodigy. He was probably chomping at the bit to get into the story, into Nick’s psyche and take it apart.

How much could he tell them without them looking at him as if he was some kind of freak, some damaged soul needing redemption?

Nick took a deep breath. “I have some childhood abuse issues. I’ve been in therapy all my life for them and this latest story with this kid being murdered was a bit of a setback. I’ve been trying to get past it but hearing Don was involved—” He looked at Justin. “—he’s my adoptive father, by the way—it just took me by surprise. I had no idea he was that involved. He’s sort of specialised in child abuse cases in his career, ever since he came across me. It became a personal crusade for him. But because he’s retired, I didn’t connect the dots on this latest case.”

Justin nodded. “That’s understandable.” His warm eyes flicked to Nick’s wrists. “I had wondered about those.” He gestured to the cuts on Nick’s arms. “They aren’t hesitation cuts. You meant business when you did those.” He smiled faintly. “You wear long sleeves to hide them but I notice things like that.”

Nick looked over at Daniel. “Yet you never asked me about them.”

Daniel’s face stilled. “They were your business, Nick. I figured if you ever wanted to tell me about them or your past, you would.” He looked as if he wanted to say something more but bit his tongue, glancing at both Owen and Justin.

Owen stood with Nick, his lean body leaning into Nick’s like a support brace. Nick was glad of the warmth and the man’s wiry strength so close to him. Owen reached out and stroked the wrist scars gently, holding Nick’s hand in his. “I for one am glad he didn’t succeed. I prefer him alive and breathing.”

Nick heaved a deep breath. “It’s why I never took my clothes off, Daniel, when we were together. I have a lot more scars and I never wanted you to see them.” Memories of their quick mutual jack-offs, cock banging and blow jobs flitted through his mind, and he could see the memories reflected on Daniel’s face too.

Justin’s face was thoughtful. “So you two have never actually fucked each other then?”

Daniel blanched. “Jesus, Justin. What kind of a thing is that to ask right now?”

His boyfriend shrugged slim shoulders. “I’d always wondered just how close the two of you got. I know you had your fuck sessions—which are
over
now.” His tone was a warning.“So just call it idle curiosity about my lover’s past fuck buddies.”

Owen’s face was a picture and Nick wanted to laugh. He had a feeling Justin had deliberately changed the topic, wanting to take the focus away from him and his past.

“No, there was never any real fucking. It’s not something I’m comfortable with.” He saw Owen’s eyes widen in surprise that he’d shared something so intimate about himself. But somehow, with this group of men, Nick didn’t mind.

“Are you still in therapy, Nick?” Justin regarded him, his head cocked to one side and for a moment Nick was again reminded of a curious, lavender-hued cockatiel. He smiled at the image.

“I stopped and then this whole child sex thing was on the telly. My dad insisted I go back. I see Heather Brisket twice a month. She’s been helping me since I arrived in Norfolk.”

Justin nodded in satisfaction. “She’s very good. Especially at child abuse cases. Her reputation is sterling.”

Nick choked back a chuckle at Justin’s commendation at twenty-two years of age when Heather had been doing what she did for at least twenty years. He’d have to share that with her at his next session. The woman would find it quite a hoot.

He motioned to the couches. “Why don’t we all sit down? I’ll make coffee; I think we could use some.”

“If you’re sure we’re not intruding, Nick,” Daniel said softly.

Nick shook his head. “We invited you over for dinner and conversation, so let’s do it. Don’t let my little episode scare you off.” He moved over to the kitchen counter and filled up the kettle. “Besides, Owen spent all day baking the cupcakes he wants to serve at coffee time and the man will be a screaming queen if we don’t eat them.”

“I did
so
not spend all day baking them,” Owen remarked loftily with a wink at the other two men who were now seated on the sofa. “Greg’s is a great place to buy cakes and ‘Why bake when you can buy?’ is my motto.”

Ensconced with cupcakes and coffee, the rest of the evening passed without further mishap. The topics of child abuse and his past were forgotten and Nick was surprised when Daniel gave a huge yawn and looked at his watch.

“It’s nearly midnight, chaps. We need to get off before the tide comes in.” He leered at Justin. “And I have some excess energy to work out before going to sleep.”

Justin huffed. “Really? That’s what I am now? An energy sapper and just a conduit for your overabundance of horny?” He clambered onto Daniel’s lap, pulling his face to him for what to Nick must have been a mind-blowing kiss. His groin ached just watching the two men’s mouths moving together, the wet, hungry sounds and moans making his dick rise like a leviathan making its ascent from the sea.

“Christ, it’s like having our very own porn show in the lounge.” Owen’s voice was husky as he shifted uncomfortably next to Nick, fascinated eyes fixed on the two men making out. Nick reached over, palming Owen’s groin, feeling the hard ridge lying underneath his chinos.

Owen groaned softly. “Don’t do that. I once came in my pants because of you and I don’t want to do it again. It’s a waste of come and effort.” He leaned down and Nick shivered as a warm tongue darted in his ear. “Save it for later. I have a few plans of my own. Making you scream was one of them.”

“Oh yes?” Nick’s breathing deepened as he closed his eyes, feeling the wetness of Owen’s tongue in his ear and the masculine scent of him overwhelmingly erotic. “And just how did you plan to do that?”

“Oh I have my ways,” Owen murmured as he slid his hands under Nick’s shirt and ran his hands over his stomach. “How horny are you?”

Nick watched the men on the couch and swallowed as Owen’s hands slid into the waistband of his chinos, stroking the soft skin of his hip. “Very. I’m not sure I can take any more of that.” He waved toward Justin and Daniel who were still trying to swallow each other.