Wonderlust (Steel Roses #1) (5 page)

“I’m starting to realize a lot of things, Nat…”

“I have to go, David. Thanks for your concern. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.” Quickly, I hung up before looking back up at Alex.

“Was that your old boss, David Barclay?” he mused, tilting his head.

“As a matter of fact, yes. He was begging me to go back to him. It’s nice to be appreciated, even if it is by my
former
boss. So, you’re talking to me now?”

“Gina is coming over this weekend to see how you’re settling in.”

“I know. She sent me an email about it earlier.”

“I want you to lie to her.”

“What?”

“Tell her you hate working for me. You being here…it’s not going to work. If we can’t get along, I don’t see the point of you being here. You’re no help to me.”

“I’m no
help
? I’ve just spent
days
sorting out your calendar, booking flights, answering your fan mail, and liaising with airport security for
you
! I’ve been doing my damn job! You’re the one with the issues. If you don’t like me being here, I suggest you bring it up with her. I’m not quitting this job!” Running his hands through his hair, he closed his eyes for a few short moments.

“I don’t get you. You clearly hate me, so why stay?”

“Just let me do my job, Alex. That’s what I’m here for. Stop making me a conquest and we’ll get on just fine!” With a deep sigh, he nodded before leaving. Why was he making this so difficult?

Frustrated, I placed my head in my hands. Alex Harbour was so confusing; he made my head hurt. I closed my eyes, and for the first time since I arrived in LA, I was home sick. I missed David and Liv. I missed my old job and my apartment in London. There wasn’t anything I could do about it, though. I was too proud to go back. I had to stick this out no matter how much Alex infuriated me.

“Have you visited the Hollywood sign yet?” Liv asked over the phone. It was so nice to hear a friendly voice.

“Not yet. I’ve been busy trying to settle in my job here.”

“How is Mr. Heater?”

“He’s still a dickhead, but I’m learning to handle him.” Mr. Heater—that really was a good name for him. Alex either ran hot or cold most of the time. There was no middle ground with him.

“You’re going to have the time of your life, Nat. I can feel it in my bones. Maybe you’ll meet someone out there and finally move on from David.”

“I’ll be too busy working to do that. How’s my apartment?”

“Good. I’m thinking about taking up your offer about living there while you’re in LA. My place is a dive compared to yours.”

“It’s there if you want it.” As I was gazing out of the office patio doors, Alex stepped into view. Of course, four bimbos surrounded him in their bikinis, and they were all throwing themselves at him.
Oh, please! Like Mr. Ego needs any more attention.
“What a whore,” I muttered, watching him grab one of the blondes and almost mount her.

“Who? Me?” Liv asked, confused. Shit. I forgot I was on the phone.

“No. My boss is by the pool trying to dry hump a woman. It’s disgusting.”

“You’ve gotta love LA. I’ve heard that’s typical behavior there,” she snorted.

“I hope not. I didn’t come here to watch live soft porn.”

“You crack me up, Nat! I miss you so much!”

“I miss you, too,” I sighed, still feeling homesick. I was so isolated out here. I hadn’t really made friends with anyone yet, and I was pretty sure my boss hated me.

“Okay, I better get ready for work. I hate this damn time difference.”

“Tell me about it. My body’s internal clock hasn’t caught up yet, and it’s been almost a week.”

“You’ll call me next week, right?”

“Of course. Speak to you then.” We both hung up after that.

Needing a drink after Liv’s call, I got up. I knew I’d have to walk past Alex and his bimbos on my way to the kitchen. As tempted as I was, it would have been wrong to call Mary and ask her to bring me a drink. That was something Alex would do, not me.

Stepping out into the sunshine, my mouth fell to the ground at the sight that greeted me. Alex was snorting a line of coke off one of the women's stomachs, using a rolled up dollar bill. Did he have no morals? Couldn’t he do that shit in private? My heart slumped a little. Ten years ago, this man had the world at his feet. What happened?

“Straight Lace!” he called when he looked up and spotted me. “Come and join the fun!” He sniffed, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. It wasn’t attractive in the slightest.

“No, thanks. I think I’d have more
fun
on my own.” I heard the bimbos ask who I was as I rushed past them. When I got to the kitchen, Diego sat at the breakfast bar eating an apple.

“Do you always wear your hair up?” he blurted out. What? His hair was up in a high ponytail. The style wasn’t too different from mine today, except his was neater.

“Yes, when I’m working. I don’t like my hair in my face. I put it up in different styles, though,” I frowned. “Why are you asking?”

“It looks like you have a natural wave. I get sick of styling Alex’s all the time. If you ever want a new style, just ask.”

“Thanks.” Our attention was drawn toward the window at the sound of screams, laughter, and splashes. Alex was throwing all his little bimbos into the pool, one after the other.

“He sure likes to show off,” I mused, pouring myself some water.

“It’s a macho thing. Alex needs to feel loved and adored. He lives off it.”

“I don’t know who I feel more sorry for—the women out there or Alex.”

“He’s not a bad person, Nat. He’s adored by millions of women all over the world. He is who he is. The fame made him this way.”

“I bet alcohol and drugs don’t help, though. I’ve read so many articles on his addictions.”

“That’s his battle. He’s overcome part of the addiction. In the early days, he was always high. While he’s less dependent on them now, he’s never been able to completely shake them. It’s the boost the drugs give him. He lives off it.”

“Is that why the band split all those years ago?” I took a seat on the stool next to him, keen to hear more.

“Honey, are you telling me you were a Roses fan?” His eyes widened when I nodded. “Well, I didn’t see
that
coming. You look like a boy band kind of girl to me.”

I snorted. Diego didn’t know me at all. “I have a Steel Roses tattoo on my hip.”

“Bitch, please. Don’t tease!”

“I’m serious.” Pulling my shorts down a little, I revealed my rose tattoo just below my hipbone to him. “See?”

“Oh. My. God! You
do
have a soft spot for Alex then.”

“
NO!
You can’t ever tell him about my ink. Matt Higgins was my favorite member,” I protested, blatantly lying. I’d be mortified if Alex ever discovered that he was my first crush.

“Jesus, don’t let Alex hear you say that. He’ll have you on the first flight back to London without even asking Gina. You have no idea how deep the hate is between those two.”

“What happened to the band? I know all that crap came out about Alex’s addiction a few months before the band split, but that can’t have been the only reason.”

“Fame corrupts everyone. All the guys got power crazy. Alex lost himself in drugs and it destroyed them all.”

“The music Alex and Matt wrote together was pure poetry. I can’t believe they gave that up.”

“A lot went down, Nat. It was more than just the music that broke them. I miss those earlier days, though. Deep down, I think Alex does too, but too much has gone down. They’ve all said things that can’t be taken back, and done things that can’t be changed. Steel Roses is a thing of the past. There’s no going back.”

“Dammit! I only took this job because I was hoping to meet Matt one day,” I teased.

“I can always arrange that.” Diego quipped, winking. “We’d have to keep it a secret from Alex, though. I do see the other band members from time to time.” Wow, that would be amazing.

“You’re such a cool guy, Diego, and you can walk in stilettos better than
I
can.”

“I’m a diva. It’s all about working it, Baby!”

“You’ll have to teach me.”

“I can teach you
many
things when fashion and men are concerned.” He winked, nudging me playfully.

“Does that include how to get in Alex’s good graces?”

“Ha! I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I’ve never seen him this way. Honestly, I’ve never seen a woman resist him this long before.”

“Are you seriously telling me that
every
woman he’s ever wanted has opened their legs for him?” I gasped. That couldn’t be true.

“Honey, he’s
Alex Harbour
. You know the hysteria that surrounds him. Women start to climax just at the sound of his name.”

“You have
got
to be kidding me!”

“It’s the truth. Look at him out there.” I moved my attention outside, watching Alex in the pool with all the women. “They
all
want to suck his cock right now, and this is nothing. You should see him when he’s out in public or on stage.” Diego was right. All four of the bimbos in the pool had him in their sights. Alex could have any one of them. “This isn’t an easy job, but I can assure you, once you’ve got Alex’s respect, it will be easier.”

“How do I do that?”

“I don’t know, Honey. If you were someone else, I’d tell you to sleep with him.”

“That’s not going to happen!”

“Relax! I know that, but there’s something about you. I can see it in his eyes when he’s watching you. He
really
likes you. Secretly, he enjoys fighting with you. It’s why he goads you.” Alex liked me? That was ridiculous. If that was the case, he had a funny way of showing it.

“Have you been taking drugs, too?” I snorted, getting up. “He wants sex to get back at me.”

“It’s just how I see things. You like him, too. I’ve seen the way you watch him.” Diego was insane. Yeah, I had liked Alex when I was twelve, but I was a fully-grown woman now.

“You’re crazy, Diego.” Picking up my glass of water, I made my way back to my office. Alex didn’t even notice me wander passed. He was too busy sucking faces with one of the pool sluts.
Gross!

“Fuck me harder! Harder! Fuck, right there, Baby. Fuck, yes. Take my cock!”

I rolled over in bed, frustrated. Alex had decided to have sex in the bedroom next to mine after the pool party earlier. It was now almost three in the morning.

“Oh, oh, yes, yes, Alex! Fuck me like a groupie. Fuck me!”

“Who’s the rock star?”

“Oh, oh, you are! YOU ARE!! YES! YES!”

I had no idea what fucking like a groupie meant, but when the headboard began to bang against my wall I lost it! I wasn’t going to lie there a minute longer and listen to that shit.

Storming out of bed, I slammed my bedroom door behind me, and went to the kitchen to get a drink. Maybe I could sleep in the living area. The red leather couches were big enough.

After pulling my hair up into a messy bun, I slumped down onto a kitchen stool and drank the glass of milk that I’d gotten from the fridge. The jet leg was still lingering. Unfortunately, I hadn’t managed to shake it off yet, so I was exhausted.

Out of all the rooms in the mansion, why had Alex decided to have a marathon fuck fest right next to my room? As soon as I asked myself the question though, I knew the answer; the asshole had done it on purpose. Was it payback for my ice stunt? Was that how this was going to work with us? I’d do something, and then he’d get me back. Placing my head in my hands, I let out a big sigh. I couldn’t live like this.

“What are you doing up, Straight Lace?” Alex’s smug voice came from behind me. This was all a game to him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I replied calmly, turning to look at him. My face began to redden at the sight of him in just a pair of sweats that hung low off his hips. Fuck! What a body! My eyes traveled down his abs before tracing all the lines of his star tattoos on his right shoulder.

“I didn’t keep you awake, did I?” he asked, reaching for something from the fridge. When he did, my eyes focused on the ink on his back. It was my favorite tattoo of his. A sword with wings covered his entire back. To me, it symbolized strength. It also made me wonder if maybe it held a deeper meaning to him.

“No, I’m still suffering from jetlag.” I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of knowing his sex games had kept me from getting any sleep.

“Is that all it is?” Turning around with a bag of Maltesers in his hands, he began to move closer toward me. I could see the evidence of the coke he’d been snorting earlier in his eyes. They were bloodshot.

“Yes. Why? Did you think there might be another reason I’m awake?”

“I’m banging four incredibly hot chicks simultaneously in the bedroom next to yours. I wasn't sure if that was keeping you up or not.” He tried to keep a straight face by putting chocolate after chocolate in his mouth, but he was too high to manage it.

“That was you?” I acted surprised. “I thought that might have been one of the security guys watching a porno. I didn’t hear much, but what I did hear sounded like a fake female orgasm to me. Sorry.” The smile on his face dropped. “Don’t let me keep you from your fun, though,” I added with a grin, sipping my milk.

“Do you have a fucking answer for everything?”

“Usually.”

“You think you have me all worked out, don’t you?”

“Let’s see… Washed up rock star that’s thrown his life away with drugs and alcohol. Yeah, think I do.” This was getting too personal, but he was goading me.

“That’s what you see?” His eyes were blazing as he slammed his fists on the counter in front of me, dropping his chocolate. What was with his obsession with Maltesers anyway? There were empty packets all over the mansion, and it wasn’t even a chocolate you could get in America, as far as I knew.

“Yes.” I stood my ground. He wasn’t going to frighten me.

“What gives you the fucking right to say that?”

“If you don’t want my opinion, don’t ask for it!” By that point, I was so enraged that my face was only inches away from his. Realizing just how close I was to his lips, I began to pant. Shit! This situation should not be turning me on. This asshole had just been fucking four women at the same time moments ago, in the room right next to mine. Not to mention he’d been sniffing coke all afternoon. Why was I burning from the inside?

“You know it’s not just your opinion I want,” he whispered, touching the side of my face. “I want you, Natasha. You’re driving me fucking crazy.” The desperate tone in his voice made my legs clench together. No, White, fight it!

“No,” I warned, echoing the thoughts in my head as I swiped his hand softly away with my own.

“No?” he asked with a slight smirk. Could he tell that my resolve was fading?

“No,” I repeated firmly, pulling away and exiting the kitchen.

Leaving was the only option. Alex touching my face—the softness of his tone when he told me he wanted me—it had affected me. I’d seen a side to him for a split second that I liked, and that scared me. Was he breaking through my defenses?

“I’m so happy to hear that you’re enjoying the job, Natasha.” Gina had been singing my praises all morning. Alex was slumped on one of his couches. To me, it looked like he was falling asleep. Wild sex parties day after day that lasted well into the early morning would do that to a person, though. “Do you have anything to add, Alex?” Gina called, making his eyes snap open in surprise.

“Not really. Can I go back to bed now?” He yawned, stretching as if to emphasize his question. My eyes fell onto a small part of his stomach that was visible. I needed to
stop
perving at him!

“Fine! I didn’t come to see you anyway,” Gina scolded, shaking her head at him. Alex rose to his feet, walking over to kiss her forehead before leaving without so much as a word to me. “He gets into these kind of moods a lot,” she stated as we both watched him walk past the pool toward the mansion, kicking his feet as he went. “I’m sure you’ve worked out that it’s depression. It’s one of the side effects from the drugs and alcohol. Being in the public eye isn’t easy.”

“You weren’t kidding about this job being unlike anything I’d ever done before, were you?”

“No,” she chuckled. ”But Alex on a good day, makes up for a whole week of him being on self destruct.”

“I haven’t seen him on a good day yet.”

“You will. He’ll perk up when he’s doing promo. Not to mention he’s on New York Live next month. He feeds off those live performances. It doesn’t do him any good to close himself off in this house for long periods of time.”

“He’s never alone, though,” I frowned.

“Don’t get me started on his abandonment issues. We’d be here all day.” Alex had desertion problems? I didn’t believe that for a second.

“Oh, I have my signed contract for you!” I suddenly remembered, taking it from my desk drawer.

“Were you happy with everything? Do you have any questions?”

“No, everything was fine. Thank you.”

“Well, at least this means we can go public. Everyone will know Alex Harbour has a new PA by this time next week.” Crap, that meant I’d have to call Liv and tell her. That definitely wasn’t a conversation I was looking forward to.

“Great.”

“Try and sound a little more enthusiastic,” Gina snorted, getting up. “Keep up the good work, Nat. In time, you’ll be a real asset to Alex like Milly was.”

“I doubt that, Gina.” I didn’t have her talent or confidence, but I would do my best.

“Give it time. I think you’ll surprise yourself.” With one thoughtful look toward me, she left.

My first week as Alex’s PA hadn’t been too bad. Now all I had to do was call Liv and tell her that I was working for him.

“What? You can’t be serious?” Liv’s voice was shaking. “You are cozying up with
Alex fucking Harbour
?”

“I couldn’t tell you until I’d signed the contract. You know how these things go.”

“But I’m your best friend. We’ve been in
love
with this guy since we were twelve! You should have told me!”

“You’re the one in love with him. I liked the band more than Alex.”

“Bullshit! You used to make up these stories about meeting him and having his babies! I haven’t forgotten that shit!” Damn, she had a good memory. Even I’d forgotten about that. “When do I get to meet him then? Ugh, I should have guessed you were lying. Alex
Heater
was a ridiculous name!”

“Liv, I can’t just invite you over to his place. What do you expect me to say…? ‘
Oh, hey Alex. This is my best friend, Liv. She’s staying with us for a few days
.’”

“You can’t keep him all to yourself! Jesus, Nat! I bet he’s fucking gorgeous in flesh, isn’t he?” It sounded like she was sobbing. “I can’t believe you lied to me! You’re his PA. That’s not fair!”

“I had no choice.”

“Does he walk around shirtless?” I didn’t answer. It would only make her worse if she knew he did,
all
the time. “Oh, God, he does. I just know it! You lucky bitch!”

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s a complete asshole. All we do is fight.”

“Then have rough sex?”

“
NO!
” I seethed, standing up and pacing my bedroom. “I’ve only been here a week anyway. What kind of person do you take me for? What makes you think I’d even
want
to sleep with him? He’s not my type!”

“Nat, you slept with your last boss, and Alex is
way
hotter. Of course he’s your type! You’d be
crazy
not to go there. David isn’t even
near
his league.”

“That’s
your
opinion,” I snapped. She was so frustrating!

“Let me get this straight…you are there with Alex
‘Sex God’
Harbour, and you’re still pining after your ex boss? Are you for real?”

“He called me a few days ago.”

“David did?”

“He said he missed me.”

“Nat, don’t do this to yourself. I may be pissed that you’re working for
my man,
but I still worry about you. David is a player. It was only ever just sex to him. You deserve better.”

“I love him.”

“No, you don’t. It’s fucking infatuation. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but if you want to get over David, you’re working for the most perfect man to do it with. He’s a damn rock star, and you know where you stand with him. No strings attached—just mind blowing sex.”

“How the hell would you know if he is mind blowing in bed?”

“In my dreams he’s a fucking animal.”

“Well, I’ve heard him fucking and he’s got
no
stamina,” I lied, looking toward my door when a knock came.

“Do
not
do that! Don’t ruin my dreams. He’s delicious and has the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.”

“And you wonder why you’re single. You’ve got to get over your rock star crush, Liv,” I giggled, opening my door. Holy shit. Alex was standing there in just a pair of sweatpants, frowning at me.

“He is the most perfect man on this planet. I can’t
ever
get over him.” Gazing at his body right now, Liv made a good point.

“I’ve got to go. Something’s come up.”