Wolf Sirens: Forbidden: Discover The Legend (19 page)

But I couldn’t wait. I dressed early and ate my
breakfast. I would need strength to keep up with my
new life. Calisthenics training had toned me, given
me strength. I wasn’t as weak as before, I was leaner.
My arms had some muscle where there had been
none before. I didn’t care if Cresida wasn’t there, or
if she pushed me away, I was not going to take no
for an answer. I was strong-willed - Sam had said
that herself, that’s partly why she had cut me from
the clique. I would have been a threat if I was initiated into the pack – yes I wanted to believe that.This
was the only reason I could fathom, in my state with
limited knowledge. They kept Giny because she was
controllable, placid. I was not.

At school the halls were absent of
him
. Giny,
Jackson, Sam and Bianca hovered at a distance seemingly ignoring my presence on the edge of their
world, but Sky was missing for days. In his absence I
feared the worst. Weeks passed.

Cresida had mentioned that I should take them
down, on the day the fire alarm went off. I was going to offer her the chance to use me now and see if
this was enough for her to take me under her wing. I
needed bait and I wouldn’t be just pushed away. Reid
had let it slip she was gifted and I wondered if she
had seen me coming – if in some way they all had.

Crazy as it was, I couldn’t return to the girl I was.
I knew too much, I wanted to be free and untamed
again. Maybe I wanted a purpose - something bigger
than myself. Even then I had an instinct I could not
realize until he touched me. He was my trigger and
my Achilles heel and my sole motivation to breathe.

I liked that new world which I had tasted and I
needed to struggle to be near him, no matter how, as
I hadn’t cared when using Reid. Anything to get his
attention. I told myself once I had him, that I would
be fixed then – cured of it, this unnatural desire. The
alternative was too painful. I was part of this now.
But I was changing more than I knew.

She wasn’t there in the library. My heart sank a little,
but on the positive side this gave me more time to
strategize my argument, plan my ambush. But if I
couldn’t find her that was a new problem, she had
a sense for things. Reid had told me that, and given
what I had learnt in my time with the pack as a human
toy, these small morsels of information were not to
be overlooked. Maybe Cresida knew I was coming.
She seemed to know when things would happen.
Was this gift of sight limited to attacks on life for
her to be present? Maybe ambushing Cres would be
difficult if she could predict my move, if she knew
what I was up to and wanted to avoid me. I found out
where she lived, which wasn’t hard in a small town. I
walked over to the two-storey white wooden house,
in a bare yard with a Hills Hoist washing line out the
back, on the other side of the river, where she had
lived since her parents had perished. A pale round
grey-haired woman answered the front door. She
looked me up and down.

“Hello, I’m Lila Crain. I am a friend of Cresida’s.”
I was going to ask if I might come in, when she
half closed the door and leant in to say, “Oh, well
- Cresida is not able to receive any guests just now,
dear.” Her face smiled but it wasn’t happy.

“Please could I just talk to her?” I frowned in
concern.
“Cresida won’t be allowed visitors until her behaviour improves, she knows this. Lila Crain was it?”
She raised an eyebrow. “We are careful of who she is
allowed to see. Certain people have influenced her
away from Christian morals.” She then closed the
door.
If Cresida had gone mad I may have understood
it now. I found out later Tabetha Horrel was a devout
member of the Presbyterian Church of Holy Divinity,
who had despised her younger sister’s ‘hippie’lifestyle
and set about correcting Cresida’s parents’ mistakes.
Tealy suggested Tabetha had heard about my tattoo
and correspondingly decided I was a bad influence.
My calls were ignored. Cresida never seemed to
be in, nor did she show at school.
I had an inkling of an idea then. I had to make
her want to find me. But this was easier said than
done. Just chasing her wasn’t enough and my plan
was to kill two birds with one stone. I wanted both
of their attention, pack and hunter. I was hedging
my bets.
Should I start a rumour? Should I threaten to
expose her, or them? I swallowed, imagining the
pack surrounding me. Too dangerous, she couldn’t
take them all on at once or even just the three, as I
was sure Sky could not harm me, since he had protected me so aggressively from Reid and given the
way he had rescued Cresida from Sam’s teeth – that
took guts, it took an independent soul to do that and
above all it showed he had a conscience - he cared
indiscriminately.
The only sure-fire thing I could think to do to
get attention from the world I craved was to endanger my life with the pack, but maybe I thought
I didn’t have to do it with all of them. Maybe it was
enough to plan it and really mean it and just maybe
that was all it would take. Since Cresida could predict the future, maybe I could fool her with her own
tricks. I had decided that I had been pulled into this
world for a reason and I wasn’t going to back down
without a fight – and any life devoid him wasn’t one
worth living.
If I had stirred anger in Reid once, enough to
make him morph and endanger me, I could surely
do it again - if that was my aim. He was still young,
under two years immortal and easily aggravated,
though usually his good nature and lack of bad temper had made him a placid newborn wolf. So instead
of finding the elusive Cresida, I had to find Reid and
push his buttons, away from the rest of the pack,
which was easy now he spent his days away working.
I just had to find him. Rumour had it he was working
as a labourer somewhere in the valley. If I ambushed
him and provoked him with a lie during a full moon,
maybe he would snap. I imagined Cresida aiming at
him and shuddered. I didn’t want him to get shot
and though I remembered she owed him her life, her
first priority was to protect the innocent. And if she
wasn’t there, if I was wrong about her sense, he could
kill me. A vision of my skin ripping apart tried to
deter me. I gulped. If he was quick I would be dead,
but I wasn’t going to do nothing.
Nothing
was worse.
I knew I was a fighter and if I went down kicking
and screaming it would have been a hell of a lot better than dying day by day in the shadows, living the
rest of my life watching them never age, until I died.
I prepared. I was now going to be a hunter’s
companion a warrior - strong. I would worry about
the convincing Cresida part later. I joined the gym,
something completely out of character for me. I did
push-ups and sit-ups in my room, I jogged mornings,
passed building sites on a different route every day
hoping to see him working to make it easier to ambush him. Maybe he wasn’t even here? In that case I’d
have to be even more ‘buff ’ to impress Cresida, without any other reason for her attention. These things
I told myself served to motivate me. If I had voiced
them to anyone, even Giny, I would have been committed, of that even in my state I was sure.
It was nuts and I had gone a little crazy, the logical part of my brain questioned me constantly but the
burning desire I felt overrode it a million times. Only
one thing could make me forget my plan and that
was that which spurred it. The only thing that could
stop me was Sky and that was never going to happen.

My mother was impressed with my new dedication. I
drank protein shakes and took New Age supplements
religiously with high antioxidant values and fruits she
had never tried. I was home every day like clockwork
and her initial impressed reaction developed into
concern. Even she could tell I had changed. I could
see she thought I was obsessed and she might have
been right. Something had snapped inside me. I
couldn’t be the same anymore. I cut my hair into a
pixie crop and dyed it dark brown, different from the
blonde hues Sam had dyed it. I was feeling things
more than I had before, and something had awoken
in me.

I ignored Sophie’s requests to go out at first. After
one evening when she ambushed me and started to
cry anorexia nervosa, I reminded her that I ate more
than she and my father put together. Part of me was
pleased she’d even noticed my muscles. They must
have been coming along nicely for her to point them
out in the mist of hysterics.

I decided it was best to subdue her, then. “Mum,
please stop crying, I’m fine.” She had never noticed
when I’d overdosed or raided the liquor cabinet last
June, went to clubs or when I missed weeks of school
until they called her, and now that I was doing something positive and relatively healthy – at least I was,
physically – now she flipped out?

“What have I done wrong with you - what are
you trying to tell me, Lila?” she pleaded.
After another ten minutes of conversation I managed to convince her being dropped from the team,
and my subsequent breakup and Lily’s suicide had
made me reflect on my own life. It sounded plausible.
I had been motivated to do something with my life,
I made it sound convincing. I wondered if I believed
the lie myself during parts of what I considered half
truths. I stopped short at the parts that really scared
me and all in all as I spoke I wondered if I was crazy.
I was spouting more positive speeches than a Born
Again Christian commercial. She apologized for her
drinking, her depression after the divorce and during
the marriage – even for her lack of energy, as tears ran
down her cheeks. She hugged me then. I wiped her
tears, told her I was okay despite the separation between her and my father and hurriedly agreed to her
previous invitation to go to dinner as a special treat,
thankful to get out of the atmosphere and change
the subject. I was indeed numb. I took nine capsules
before we left the house, a mixture of vitamins and
herbal supplements downed in one gulp with water,
before catching up and jumping in the car to head
to town, for a mother-daughter dinner. My life was
definitely getting weirder.
We arrived at the most popular diner in town.
There was one other restaurant to choose from
but I wanted to keep it simple and cheaper for my
mother’s sake. We sat in a booth midway into the
restaurant-slash-pub. I scanned the menu for a
hearty meal that was low fat, but not too calorie
reduced, just in case my mother noticed my choice.
I didn’t need her to cry again. She left to get some
drinks from the bar. As I sat there I heard the pack
over the other side of the room. They were sure to
know I was there already, they had to have picked
up my scent. I spied them through the plastic palms
dividing the room. My heart beat faster, but my
body remained calm. Reid was there dressed in a
black shirt, unmistakable with his dark hair, broad
chest and russet brown arms.
“Should we leave?” my mother asked urgently as
she sat the drinks down. She had seen them on her
way back from the bar. She looked panicked as if this
may set me off, or something. After all, I had just
convinced her that their rejection of my friendship,
after my breakup had hurt me.
“No. No, it’s fine.” I imagined, it was. I used the
same casual pained smile I’d used at home during our
talk. It had seemed to work, then.
“Okay,” she said uncertain. “If you’re sure.” I saw
a flicker of insistence boil and then fade. Perhaps she
didn’t want to risk upsetting me. We both eyed our
menus.
Before we ordered she examined me again.
“Mum, I’m fine!” I stated.
I cringed inside, then. If they didn’t know I was
here they would have certainly heard me at that moment. I made my order – steak and vegetables, no
fries.
I wished my senses were better. It was impossible
to overhear their conversation; I knew they would be
able to listen in on us. It was unfair. I wanted to hear
something that would tell me where Reid worked. I
considered making a scene now, but it was too public
and my mother was there. I wanted to keep her out of
it. Of all the times to run into him! I had to pass their
booth on my way to the toilet. Sam’s eyes followed
me from her table and I glared back bravely. Reid
looked freshly showered; his hair was wet and sleek,
though my eyes wanted to linger on Sky. Surely Sam
would have killed me if it were not for Cres?
On my way out, I saw they were leaving. Sky
turned and eyed me. He was the only one; he followed the rest of the pack out. I went back to my
table. I had to make an effort but I turned my attention back to our dinner conversation, thankfully out
of reach of Sky’s presence, I could breathe. Now that
Reid and the other pack members were gone I had
nothing to tempt me into action, so we ate making
idle conversation.
At least Sky still didn’t seem cosy with Sam, I
thought over my steak. As my mother spoke, I was
praying he’d be in school tomorrow. I was looking
forward to stealing another glance at him to gratify
me. I felt lightheaded thinking of it. I allowed myself
a moment before my mother interrupted. I told her
about Teals and Monica and how they had kept me
company, adding in some gossip about the dance. She
realised then that I hadn’t gone. I ignored this and
continued, if for no other reason than to fill the space
between us which my mother now noticed was there.
I was glad to get home, hoping I hadn’t said too
much. I raced up to my room and finished my routine: squats, lunges and pull-ups. I could do six so
far. I recalled when I had started, that I couldn’t do
a push up from my knees, my arms were so weak,
let alone a pull-up. I marvelled at this. I did a set of
leg sit-ups and then later finished editing a paper for
English on my computer.
Readying for bed, I thought, why was it that
when I was a model daughter my mother decided to
wake up and be concerned for me?